never tell me i don't show affection

anonymous asked:

I'm autistic and been struggling trying to write a kid's story but it's not working. Iiaat that I can't seem to understand story structure, or how the basic outline of story structure is actually achieved when writing? I understand books really well, but when it comes to me trying to write, I can't make sense of it. Plus I'm supposed to "show, don't tell" but isn't a story in the telling? Plus I only know how my brain works and don't understand how others' work. Should I stop trying to write?

First off: If you want to write, keep writing! Everything else is really secondary to that. If you like writing, write.

Story structure is hard. It’s really hard. The “basic outline” of a three act structure or the hero’s journey or basically anything has never worked for me. I have a hard time even trying to retrofit stories to those outlines/structures. It’s likely that being autistic does affect our ability to figure it out, but that doesn’t mean we can’t write.

Since you’re trying to write a kid’s story, you can go with a simple plot. Settle on a main character and their goal/what they want. Throw in a few complications or delays for them to accomplishing that goal before they accomplish it (or don’t depending on how you want the story to go).

Also, I am horrible about actually including a coherent plot in my initial rough draft. I tend to just write along whatever ideas I have and weld a plot together when I do a rewrite because I have all the information to actually figure it out at that point. It’s not something anyone really recommends, but it works for me, so I do it.

It took a lot of trial and error to figure out what works for me. I tried a lot of different approaches and read a lot of advice. Some of it helped, some of it didn’t. The only way to figure it out though, is to keep writing.

As for the “show don’t tell” it’s a rather tricky thing that takes a long time to really figure out. It’s more about being a reminder to add in description and show the characters doing things rather than just saying something happened. Basically: there needs to be enough description for the reader to know what’s going on rather than feeling like they’re getting a summary or second hand account of events. It’s basically a quick phrase to remind a write how to tell the story.

And as far as figuring out how others’ brains work- I’m guessing that’s talking about writing characters that are different from yourself and feel real, that’s also a thing that kind of just takes writing to figure out how to do. I know I think most of my characters are bland and the same, but one of the things I routinely get compliments on is how I manage to have such distinct characters.  

But, I really only got to the point I’m at now because I spent so much time writing and stumbling around trying to figure it out. And I only did that because I enjoyed writing.

So basically: If you want to write, Write. Try different things and figure out what works for you. You don’t have to be good at writing to enjoy it. If you want to write, write, the skills will follow with practice.


Aida Lyric Meme
  • "Every story- new or old, bagatelle or work of art- are all tales of human feelings."
  • "This is the story of a love that flourished in a time of hate."
  • "Fortune favors the brave."
  • "We are free to have it all."
  • "We are what we want to be."
  • "Fortune favors the free."
  • "Fortune favors the young."
  • "You know nothing about me and care even less."
  • "You long for our spirit but that you will never posses."
  • "The past is now another land."
  • "The present is an empty space between the good and bad."
  • "The future is a barren world from which I can't return."
  • "I need you home supporting all the plans I've put in place."
  • "If our country is to flourish then Manson must take the lead."
  • "There will be a time for mourning, but for now put plans on hold."
  • "My family in chains, you witnessed our abduction."
  • "You can probably tell how I know you."
  • "You know too much and what you say is better left unknown."
  • "Our lives are not our own."
  • "My only hope is silence."
  • "You remain a princess, in any time or place."
  • "In life one has to face a huge assortment of nauseating fads and good advice."
  • "Forget the inner me, observe the outer."
  • "I am what I wear and how I dress."
  • "Every fiber of my being is displayed to quite remarkable effect."
  • "My dress has always been my strongest suit."
  • "I am anything but normal."
  • "Nothing is an accident. We are free to have it all."
  • "I'd leave the world's misfortunes far behind me."
  • "How is it I say these things so easily to you?"
  • "You must believe that one day you're bound to find a stronger suit."
  • "It's knowing what they want of me that scares me."
  • "How can whatever I do for them now be enough?"
  • "All we ask is a lifetime of service, wisdom, courage."
  • "I know expectations are wild and almost beyond my fulfillment."
  • "Who'd have thought that confidence could die?"
  • "Who'd have guessed I'd throw my world away to be with someone I'm afraid will say not me?"
  • "I shall not envy lovers, but long for what they share."
  • "Who'd have thought that love could be so good?"
  • "Who'd have guessed he'd throw his world away to be with someone til his dying day?"
  • "We all lead such elaborate lives."
  • "I don't want to live like that, seems quite unbelievable to me."
  • "I just want our time to be slower and gentler, wiser, free."
  • "We all live in extravagant times, playing games we can't all win."
  • "I'm so tired of all we're going through. I don't want to live like that."
  • "This may not be the moment to tell you face to face."
  • "Too many choices tear us apart. I don't want to live like that."
  • "I just want to touch your heart. May this confession be the start."
  • "It's so strange he doesn't show me more affection than he needs."
  • "There are times when I imagine I'm not always on his mind."
  • "I'm in every kind of trouble. Can't you tell? Just look at me."
  • "You could never know the chaos of a life turned on its head."
  • "I am certain that I love him but a love can be misplaced."
  • "I could be his life companion, anywhere but where we are."
  • "Did I take a step too far?"
  • "This is the moment when the gods expect me to beg for help."
  • "I want nothing in this world but myself to protect me."
  • "All I have to do is forget how much I love him."
  • "All I have to do is pretend I never knew him on those very rare occasions when he steals into my heart."
  • "It's easy as life."
  • "You're not the master of your fate."
  • "Like father, like son."
  • "Don't assume your vices get handed down the line."
  • "You've got the world at your command."
  • "Evils a distinctive smell."
  • "Once this harlots out of sight, then I think he'll see the light."
  • "I'm sorry for everything I've said and for anything I forgot to say."
  • "I don't want the world. Only you."
  • "There is a time, there is a place, where love should conquer all."
  • "I though I knew you princess, but I never understood."
  • "I am here to tell you, we can never meet again."
  • "Every moment of my life from now until I die, I will think or dream of you."
  • "Is it written in the stars? Are we paying for some crime?"
  • "Is that all that we are good for, just a stretch of mortal time?"
  • "You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied."
  • "Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wished never learned what it is to be in love and have that love returned."
  • "How did I throw half a lifetime away without any thought at all?"
  • "This should have been my time. It's over, it never began."
  • "I know the truth and it mocks me."
  • "Why do I want him still? Why when there's nothing there?"
  • "I ascended to the throne certain in my heart that ancient wars must cease."

kyogre-blue  asked:

I saw some displeasure about YoI in the tags. I've got mixed feelings about it, so I'd be really interested in hearing a negative opinion to contrast all the glowing praise I've been seeing. Um, if you don't mind.

ANMFKJD G I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THIS IN MY ASK. But hello, it’s Grahm, and boi do I have some gripes about yuri on ice. 

As a preface, I’m bi n transmasculine so if i get people callin me homophobic because i have hatred for this ship ill be pickin apart, bye im a mlm so I’m directly affected by the stereotypes presented.

In this show, there are major flaws. I could not tell you the plot, the animation is terribad, and its getting boring seeing Yuuri do the same type of routine every episode he’s in a competition? Everybody else has a different program but I guess that might be a Me thing. But I could look past that if there weren’t some gross as heck stereotypes towards LGB+ people. 

When Yuuri meets Viktor, theres an ass shot. Obvious pandering to fangirls out there. Then there’s Chris and his routine that makes everybody uncomfortable where he basically busts a nut in front of thousands of people. Again, fanservice. Then we have how touchy-feely Viktor and Yuuri are. 

There’s nothing wrong with being close to somebody. Me n comet are always just chillin near each other. But how YOI went about it, it’s way too sexualized and promotes the fact all LGBT+ people are Sex Demons. Personally, I noticed immediately that it wasn’t natural. The jumping around the anime does makes it hard to keep track. And there’s Off Screen Bonding that we don’t get to see; the sudden closeness of Yuuri and Viktor makes no sense considering how little bonding they’ve done if you really think about it. It leaves an odd disjointed feeling to the entire scope of things and takes the fun out of the slow burn. 

Regardless of that though, Yuuri and Viktor are coded like the ~traditional~ heterosexual relationship. This is where the woman is dainty and traditionally feminine while the guy is dominant and traditionally masculine. Yuuri acts more masculine while Viktor can be looked at as the feminine coded one. Viktor is always helping Yuuri get ready [tying his skates, putting lip balm on him, blowing his nose for him, etc] That’s the traditional wife taking care of her husband. A majority of mlm relationships don’t have that kind of dynamic. And to see that as excellent representation?? It’s not a good thing to see because if that’s all the representation we have, young impressionable people won’t see any different in real life.

And when you consider the power imbalance it is just gross. Yuuri idolizes Viktor WAY too much for it to ever be a good relationship. He’s holding Viktor up on a pedestal and it’s easy to manipulate somebody without even meaning to when you’re in that position. 

Moving on, the YOI fandom makes it seem like this is so revolutionary of an anime. When no…it’s not? After the kiss, they acted like nothing happened? When you’d tihnk they’d address it if it was such an important part of the plot. In any show, they always put so much weight to whenever somebody kisses another because it’s seen as a sign of romance. Yet YOI completely ignores it like it never happened, doesn’t even have Yuuri like flash back to it and act happy it happened. Like that’s not something you would do if your partner just kissed you and even if it’s gonna be played off as , “European’s kiss people all the time!!” that’s still so much queerbaiting because they drew us in with the intent that there would be a mlm relationship when no, they got fricking gal pal’d basically. 

One of my other problems is they just…ignore the homophobic/transphobic nature Japan has?? They do not have very many rights laws in place for LGBT+ people and to just ignore that all together and how harmful it is to people in ice skating is sloppy and disconcerting. 

They’re acting like it’s not a thing when Viktor is based off a real life skater, Johnny G. Weir. He was berated and docked points because he was too “flamboyant” before he even came out as being gay. Japan assumed he was LGB+. Yet YOI acts like that was never a thing and everything’s all fine and dandy. If they made it a point to say, “Hey, yeah LGBT+-phobia is dumb as heck but we’re past it in this universe”, that’d be acceptable but they just don’t bring it up at all. 

But ice skating is openly homophobic and ignoring it like there’s nothing to see is like America trying to ignore how racist they were in the past by putting up laws prohibiting teachers from saying that the slave trade was the reason for the civil war. They’re trying to say it doesn’t happen and tackle it headon. If they showed Yuuri and Viktor going through the discrimination and homophobia while coming out stronger, that’s a fantastic dynamic and problem to tackle. It affects millions of people daily, LGBT+ discrimination, but YOI doesn’t feel like it’s important enough to include I guess.

All in all, YOI is pretty cheaply made. The animation is sloppy with yuuri having a damn noodle and half the budget was spent on animating asses. It’s a shame because I was looking forward to it since ice skating is a beautiful sport. I am not here, though, for the queerbaiting garbage YOI has turned out to be as it actively portrays mlm in a bad light and sexualizes us even more than we need.

anonymous asked:

I feel that I'm changing slowly. I can't remember the last time I felt okay. I feel that I'm growing sadistic slowly. I have violent thoughts and I just hate the way I'm turning out to be. I know that being cruel is never okay and I'm scared of myself at times. I am very young, barely a teenager. I haven't known what childhood is, and I feel that after all these years of being mentally abused, the effects are showing. I don't know why I'm telling you this, and I'm sorry if I'm irritating you.

You are not irritating me at all, please don’t think that. I’m glad you feel like you can talk to me about this, long term abuse affects people differently and in your case it is having an adverse effect on your mental state because you are a strong person who is feeling helpless. So your brain is fighting back by deadening the parts of you that feel and as all your feelings are bottled up, they are turning into darker things. I can see how this is extremely traumatic and painful to you and honestly, would like to do everything I can to help you. So please message me privately so we can talk. You don’t deserve it and you don’t need to go through this by yourself. So much love and strength to you. ❤️.

lovemeproper-deactivated2014123  asked:

My best friend is a feminist and since I reblog a lot of radfem posts she often debates me on the anti-porn/prostitution/bdsm posts I reblog. Since I'm a guy, I I don't like to argue with women on issues that primarily affect women, I just tell her that I support women and I'm showing my support. But she likes to take out her frustration over radfems out on me. Today she told me something she wanted me to pass along.. At what point does a woman have her sexuality? Where do radfems draw the(cont)

(cont) line of the patriarchy’s influence on women? At what point does a woman have control over her own being? She says that radfems will never be content unless all women are lesbians. She thinks that you forget about the women who choose things for themselves.

First of all, thank you for not mansplaining anything to her - that’s one thing that really infuriates and frustrates me with a lot of “male feminists”. I really appreciate you supporting women by allowing them to have their voices regarding feminism. 

I’m sorry that she takes her frustrations about radfems out on you. It’s somewhat understandable, because I’ve been where she is now. Anti-radfem, liberal feminist (I’m just hazarding a guess here) and I was truly disgusted by radical feminism because I was indoctrinated by the toxicity of liberal feminism. What she has to understand is that being pro-porn, pro-BDSM and pro-sex work (as an institution, not anti-prostitutes, but opposed to the institution itself) is anti-feminist in nature because it works against women. It’s counter-productive and requires a lot of cognitive dissonance to justify, and I would know because I used to be that person. 

A woman’s sexuality is moulded and socialised and manipulated from birth, that is just a simple fact. Women are socialised to be heterosexual and to cater to men, and this is why phallocentricism is so common amongst liberal feminists, because there is no critical thinking regarding the source of female oppression, therefore there is no rejection of male power structures and male influence. They’re anti-patriarchy but still support institutions that abuse and rape women? Radical feminism does not paint women as irrational, infantilized, incapable individuals; it simply aims to make women question why they’re making the choices that they’re making, and where these choices are truly coming from. Are these choices conforming to pre-existing patriarchal expectations of women, beauty and femininity? Are they solidifying negative stereotypes of female behaviour under the guise of being “empowering” and “liberating”? Are they harmful to other women? Why are some (privileged) women able to make this choice but others aren’t? Radical feminism literally means ‘to get to the root of’, and that’s exactly what we’re attempting to do. Get to the root of our oppression, to explore the roots that shoot out from the source of our oppression, to examine the choices we make in a society that is predicated upon the subjugation of women. How does this subjugation and oppression affect our decision making?

I think it’s important to note that there is no definitive “line” when it comes to the patriarchal influence on women. Think of it more as being like a ripple effect once a stone hits the water of a pond. Every ripple is significant and, and these ripples are expansive and they keep spreading out. The deeper you go, the more you explore female oppression, the more you’re going to find. Every day I learn something new about gendered socialisation and the depth of the affect that this has on women, without us even being fully conscious of it. You’ll think you’ll find the “line” drawn between patriarchal influence over women and a woman’s own agency, and then something new pops up that you never knew existed before and you take that on board too. Radical feminism is a journey for me - I don’t know everything, I can’t know everything, but every day I attempt to gain more knowledge, question more and to become a better feminist by putting women first, particularly the most marginalised women in society. 

Women are in control of their bodies, women are autonomous beings, but men are in control socially and socialisation plays a huge role in the way we interact with and perceive our environment. If men convince women, through socialisation, that penises are the most important part of a woman’s sexuality - even taking into account the woman’s agency and her ability to decide for herself - don’t you think that would affect her or influence her slightly? If this message is reinforced day in and day out, mostly subtly, digging its claws into the least active parts of our brains and burrowing itself there, don’t you think that might affect how we make our choices? We can’t know the choices women would make completely independently of patriarchy and male influence, but we can predict that it would not mirror our current society whatsoever. I believe that, devoid of male influence entirely (that being, entirely gender neutral, without the presence of gender or male power) that there absolutely would be more lesbians in the world. Would all females be lesbians? I can’t know, but what I do know is that many, many women deny their sexuality right now because they’re afraid to not cater to men. They’re afraid to devote themselves entirely to women because they’ve been socialised to please men, to be there for the male gaze and for male consumption, and to defy that is to go against men (and we all know what happens when a woman disobeys…). 

I’m sure some radfems would be delighted if all women were lesbians, completely devoid of all male interaction and influence (hell, I wouldn’t mind that myself) but we don’t set out to control a woman’s decision making. It is ultimately everybody’s choice, but we need to examine where these choices are coming from, why are we making them, what has influenced us when making these choices?

I think she’s forgetting about women that don’t get a choice, ever. That don’t get a choice in their marriage, that don’t get a choice in their attire (many women are forced to conform to patriarchal beauty standards in order to keep jobs and satisfy their families’ expectations), that don’t get a choice in regards to their employment (forced into prostitution by financial necessity). Radical feminism is rarely about the women that have the privilege to make the right choices for themselves, it’s about the women that don’t get a choice.