I could physically feel you losing interest in me. Our 3 a.m. conversations had turned into 3 minute chats. Everything was surface level, and it absolutely broke my heart because I wanted nothing more than to have you back in my life. I felt like screaming at you to just Speak to me, but I knew it was futile. Sometimes no matter how much two people want to make it work, it’s not meant to happen.
Losing a Friend Hurts so Much// a Excerpts From a Book I’ll Never Write
“I think I really do hate you.” He spat.
“Charming.” I said.
“I’m not joking around. I don’t mean I hate the way you laugh a bit too loud or hate the way your handwriting changes everyday. I don’t mean I hate how you only wear black or hate how you wear too much perfume. I mean I hate the way you destroy anything that comes even a bit close to you. I hate the way you feel the need to treat others how one damn person, one single person treated you. It isn’t fair. You don’t play fair.” He replied through gritted teeth.
“You still love me though, right?” I smiled.
“That’s the problem. I was fine before I met you, and now I’m stupid. No matter how much I hate you I’ll still love you. And the worst thing is, you warned me. You said yourself. You said that you don’t like the person you are. I said everyone loves you. And then you said you don’t deserve that. I said you do. But you don’t. You don’t deserve love because you don’t know what the hell to do with it.” And he grabbed his keys.
It’s 2am and I swore i’d never let you get to me again. I swore I wouldn’t miss you, but god I fucking miss you and I swear I can’t love anyone like the way I loved you. It’s been six months. Six months babe, and i’m still not over the fact that we didn’t make it. I always thought about what it would feel like to find the love of your life, how it felt, how you knew that was your person. And then, I met you and i just.. knew. As young as we were, don’t you remember? I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember and I know that I love you because everyday that we go our separate ways, every day that we grow farther apart, I know I’ll always find myself back to you.
Excerpt from a book i’ll never write // unsaid words
Let’s turn this into a game;
How far can I run before I boomerang and find myself on the road straight back to you?
How many times can I cry to my friends before they get tired of hearing the same story?
How long can I stay awake for purely out of spite to the fact you use to help me sleep?