never missed anyone

There’s only ever been one person I’ve looked at and thought … “I could quite easily spend the entire rest of my life with that man”.


And sooner or later I need to accept that he’s spending it with somebody else.

—  Ranata Suzuki
You drove me insane but at the same time, you were the only thing that kept me sane
—  It’s been 124 days

anonymous asked:

hi can you rec me some 1d blogs to follow?

tbh i follow not so many 1d blogs and i think everyone follows the blogs im following so i will put everyone: 

@daintylouis @oceanoflouis @jugheadstyles @thetommmo @tilyoutryit @jimmytfallon @greenbayharold @happytinylou @cliffordnlouis @fuckyeahlouis @nobodycompares @happilylouis @bigspoonlou @notchopsuey @honeylouis @inkedbum @16meets18 @tomlinsoz @angeliclouie @growgardens @throughthedark @sunlouis @boolondon @oopstyles @meherandthemoon @notheartbroken @larents @gaynkles @lourrye (slytherin pride) @bdsmlouis @louiz @nourriest 

some unapologetic self promo:

@1deditsquad @pinklouisquad ( pride and joy )

any other not 1d blog is in ironlous.tumblr.com/roll 

:D

(lmao this is probably worse than the last one i did i’m not used to doing this but the ideas keep coming)

Okay continuing with the idea that Frank and Matt have regular nightly meet ups after a night of crime fighting to lick at each other wounds. Frank gets way too comfortable in Matt’s apartment, comfortable enough to fall asleep but leave before Matt awakens. However, There are nights when he just walks around slowly sipping on his beer and staring at what he considers to be a rather barren apartment. Matt has told him that he is truly and seriously blind, and it’s something that Frank still can’t seem to believe or get past. Matt fights better than most people he’s ever faced, even if Frank knows he could put a real good dent on that pretty face of his, but with how bare everything is in here he can finally get behind that.

Regardless, he still wants to see what Matt even keeps in here, in this loft that is too quiet for him, far away from gunshots, screams, and barking dogs. He begins rummaging through drawers of things he can’t read, most of them in braille or some legal jargon that Frank is just too sleepy to bother reading through, but then he stops on a birthday card from a few years back, tattered and barely acknowledged by Matt probably. It’s simple, but maybe the person who gave it to him hadn’t the forethought of realizing that he wouldn’t be able to see the intricate, gaudy design of it. Frank can still see Matt appreciating it and not feeling slighted in the least. He grunts a bit at the thought before peeling open the card and seeing the date. Only two weeks away from now, Matt’s birthday is right around the corner, and by the way he seemed to prop up here more often than Frank feels he should, he knows he doesn’t have anybody to really celebrate it with him.

He puts it back for a moment, taking another swig of his beer, the piss ass beer Matt buys and he always complains about despite taking another sip against his dislike of it. For whatever reason, a week later he’s still thinking about it while inside a small market. Why is he staring at this goddamn cupcake? Matt doesn’t need anyone to remember his birthday much less celebrate it, but Frank feels he needs to do something, anything to show that he was at least thankful that Matt didn’t throw him to the curb the moment he fell asleep on his couch. He shuffles a crumpled $5 bill to the cashier and hurries out with that cupcake and a single candle.

A few nights later, Matt returns from another bout in the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, luckily tonight he barely had to lift a finger after wrestling down some robber at a local corner store, though tonight he feels that his heart isn’t all into it, he can’t put a finger on just why. When he approaches his rooftop, there’s Franks heartbeat again, but instead of it’s usual calm cadence, it’s slightly elevated, as if he were anxiously waiting. “Anxious?….Frank was never anxious…” closer and he gets a faint whiff of phosphorous, warmth, wax, and…..icing? Chocolate? Something sweet?

Still kneeling on the windowsill Frank meets his gaze for a moment to turn away from the table. “You coming in Red or what?” he utters, there’s a hint of bashfulness that Matt can easily sense, but he ignores it in favor of ripping his mask off his head and focusing on the bright orange spot blazing in what little vision he can muster. “Is that a candle? You bought a cake?” he says walking towards the table. Frank clears his throat “Uh I saw…..you had a card in your desk….birthday card.”

“Oh yeah…today is…”

“Yeah just thought….you weren’t bringing anyone over tonight for it..and uh got you a…cupcake.”

Matt smiles at him, it’s deep and warm, even if Matt looks tired that beaming smile of his never fades.

“The Punisher?…..wishing me a happy birthday?”

“Look if you dont want it I’ll just throw-”

“No-No it’s fine….I really appreciate it…I just didn’t expect you to even-well anyone to even bother…”

Frank pauses to stare at Matt for a moment when he decides to wander to the counter, he picks up his nearly empty beer bottle. “Well I ain’t that cold…”

Somehow this little gesture makes Matt flush, the heat of the candle amplifying that. Matt couldn’t recall the last time he ever really cared about his birthday or bothered to share when the day was with anyone other than Foggy, and he might have mentioned it in passing to Karen. Now the both of them were far too busy with their own ventures to probably bother, even if they still did meet occasionally at the Bar. He feels Frank’s heartbeat settle down slightly but tempering as Matt leaned over the small cupcake, and blew out the candle. The Heartbeat goes back to its normal cadence, and Matt knows Frank secretly cherishes some part of what they have, Matt is the only thing near normalcy in Frank’s life, this was his gesture, his thanks, and Matt felt like he almost didn’t deserve it.

“Thank you Frank….I really mean that.”

“I don’t know who celebrates their birthday in costume Red….”

“What do you want me to say?”
He asked me this and a million thoughts ran through my head.
“I want you to say you miss me too. That ever since you left you haven’t been able to find your way. I want you to tell me this has been hurting you as much as it’s been hurting me,” I pause, “But I know that you’d be lying and I know that i’m alone in this but god i’ve never missed anyone this much in my entire life and I just.. I can’t do this without you anymore.” He looked at me and I knew… he felt pity for me but he didn’t feel the same.
—  Excerpt from a book i’ll never write // I wanted you to fight for me
Detecting imperius curses

There are patterns of psychological manipulation that have very similar effects as the imperius curse described in Harry Potter. When you’re on the receiving end, it can be very hard to figure out what’s going on and resist.

One way to tell is watching how you change when you’re around someone, especially if you’re not comfortable with the changes. Double especially if they emphatically say that they are not trying to influence you and would never try to influence you.

For instance, if your views change dramatically around someone else in this kind of pattern:

  • You normally think one thing
  • When you’re with this person, your views dramatically change
  • When you’re not with them, you can’t understand why your views changed
  • Or you might even find the views you adopted in their presence repulsive
  • But it keeps happening over and over when you interact with them

Especially if this happens when you try to contradict them:

  • You: I don’t agree with you about x. I don’t see myself that way. I don’t believe that.
  • Them: Why are you telling me that? What makes you think I ever told you what to think?
  • (And then, somehow, you still end up thinking the thing while you’re with them. And not thinking it when you’ve been away from them for a while.)

This can also happen with actions. Sometimes imperius curses mean that being around someone affects what you do. It can mean you do a lot of things you don’t think that you want to do. It can mean being really confused about why you did the things.

Particularly if this happens when you try to avoid doing the things:

  • You: I don’t want to do x.
  • Them: Did I ever say you should? All I did was ask.
  • (Then you somehow still end up doing the thing. And when you’re not with them, you don’t think you want to do the thing and aren’t quite sure how it happened.)

Another pattern:

  • They say they’re not trying to influence you.
  • You try to express a different opinion or desire or choice
  • If you’re trying to express a thought or desire, you don’t get to complete the thought or process why you think it
  • Instead, the conversation drifts into their opinion
  • You end up feeling like you agree, and complying with it
  • It’s not really agreement, because you weren’t really able to think about what they are saying and what you think about it, and why you think what you think
  • It’s being prompted into an emotional state in which disagreeing with their position feels impossible or petty, and in which surrendering is a relief

When you try to express a choice:

  • They pretend that you didn’t express a choice
  • And keep talking about it as though a decision has not been made
  • (And maybe say some things that might be reasonable if you hadn’t already made a choice and expressed your choice)
  • (Or some things that would make sense if you’d asked for their advice)
  • They also say some things that are just prompting you in the direction they want you to go in
  • And somehow, the conversation never stops until you give in to what they wanted
  • (And, often, not until you feel like it was your idea and reassure them that you agree with them, or maybe even thank them for their help)

Another pattern:

  • They say something awful about you in a tone that sounds loving and compassionate
  • The way they speak to you makes it hard to realize that any other opinion is possible.
  • You might end up thanking them
  • (And then possibly getting angry hours or weeks later when the effect wears off)
  • (And being really confused about what happened).

These are a few examples. There are many other ways this can play out.

Changing your opinion in response to someone else’s ideas is not bad in itself. Neither is changing your mind about what you want to do. Those are both important things to do in a lot of situations. The reason that imperius curse effects are bad isn’t that people subjected to them change their opinions or desires. Changing can be good; it’s the *kinds* of changes that imperius curse effects cause that’s the problem.

Imperius curse effects are bad because they short-circuit persuasion and induce compliance. They create emotional prompts that feel like believing something, even if you haven’t actually been persuaded of it. Or prompts that feel similar to wanting to do something, even if you don’t actually want to do it. It makes it hard to tell that the other person ends somewhere, and that your thoughts and feelings matter and might be different from theirs. It’s an intense violation, and it can be hard to detect and resist. I think knowing about the patterns helps some.

tl;dr The effects of the Imperius Curse described in Harry Potter are very similar to a form of non-magical emotional manipulation that happens in the real world. They trick people into feeling like they want things they don’t want, or like they agree with things they don’t agree with. There are some patterns they tend to happen in. Knowing about the patterns can make them easier to detect.

a-z tag

except the m????????

i was tagged by the sweet @simmsimi & @pixiegal :)

a // age: 19
b // biggest fear: losing people i care about
c // current time: 12:01
d // drink you had last: milk
e // everyday starts with: pressing out my 7/9 alarms and deciding if i’m gonna stay in bed longer
f // favourite song: probably something of chef’special
g // ghosts are real?: they could be, idk
h // hometown: somewhere in neverland the netherlands
i // in love with: daniel sharman, but also two guys in know in real i fall in love so easily fml
j // jealous of: people who have everything figured out and know what they want
k // killed someone: not really
l // last time you cried: idk, probably not that long ago
m // mthis tag is so fake
n // number of siblings: 2 bro’s
o // one wish: to be happy?? idk
p // person you last called/texted: my family (group chat)
q // questions you’re always asked: something about my name because it’s kinda unique or about my eyebrows?? idk why because they’re not special
s // song last sang: be good or be gone - lucas hamming
u // underwear colour: black
v // vacation destination: this year norway & sweden yesss
w // worst habit: also nailbiting & procastination
x // xrays you have had: none
y // your favourite food: yoghurt or spareribs
z // zodiac sign: gemini

i tagggg: @lolitaplum, @justkeeponsimming, @theartofsimplesims, @nancylandgraabs, @nervous—subject, @simgerale, @sim-pi, @publicwoohoo, @honestlyzealousqueen, @lazypixls, @vanillasimsfan, @sagittariussimblr, @electronicstarlightdelusions, @kleptosims, @loniden, @nadinemaee, @simcataris, @simemi, @simsterically, @iridescencel, @stephanine-sims, @simsstorytimeyt, @inquisitive-simmer, @randomcoffeesimmer, @godneurosis, @pixeladventures, @simatrix, @pxel-pandas, and everybody else who wants to do this, sorry if you’ve already done it and ignore this if you don’t want to do it xoxoox

It was a different kind of love back then–

dancing in the empty isle at the supermarket next to where the pickles and canned goods should be, spinning around like we never missed anyone, like skipping class to smoke a cigarette wasn’t something we did for the first time to see how much smoke your lungs could hold without your mother smelling it on you, asking where he felt things, learning it was not in his throat or underneath that one left rib, learning how to use a lighter, swearing no one could see you, before the metaphors and the poetry came and tried to make sense of unbeautiful things. I try to remember the moment while it’s happening, i feel it slurring off me.

You were too empty to be seen. You thought, shallow graffiti on the bedroom wall, gentle. You thought, the tattoo on his chest to be careful of permanent givings of self was clever. This was before you tried too hard to live and just drowned instead in what you did to your body, before and after swearing off miracles.

We didn’t need to take this one back.
—  You remember and it hurts again

Moments Series – “I miss you.”

2 months

In all your nineteen years, you’ve never missed anyone this much. You’ve always been an independent girl. You’ve had to do things on your own for as long as you could remember, and you could never depend on anyone else, you learned that early on. But now you’re missing a boy who swears he loves you but who’s career takes him away from you all the time.

You’ve never felt this way before, not about anyone. But missing him literally makes you feel like you’re missing a part of yourself. You wonder how this boy could do this two you after only two months of being together, but you realize that you shouldn’t be so surprised anymore because he’s been surprising you for as long as you’ve known him so this feeling is just another new thing among a string of new things that set him apart from any other man in your life.

You pick up your phone, calling your boyfriend. He picks up on the second ring. “Hello?”

“I miss you,” You blurt, without even saying hello first.

“I miss you too,” and you can hear the smile in his voice as he speaks to you.

“I really miss you Shawn,” you tell him, hoping that he can understand and doesn’t think you’re being clingy or irritating, which is one of your greatest fears, but somehow with Shawn, you aren’t so afraid that he’ll think that.

“Listen to me,” He speaks smoothly, kindly, and calmly, “I love you, I miss you. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you right now, but I’m right here, okay? I’ll see you soon baby, but until then I’m just a phone call away.”

“I love you.” You simply reply.

The thing about safe vore

I know some people have already abandoned this post solely based on one of the words in the title. Some left because of the word “vore”. Others left because of the word “safe”.

Let me just say, I’m vore fluff garbage and in not much of a stance to judge people who keep to themselves and their own circles- What this post is about is the ones who refuse to keep it in. The ones who drag death into everything. Those who trod all over the people like me who are repulsed by such death.

What they fail to realize is that this is some people’s safe place. Their happy place. I, personally, comfort myself to sleep by imagining safe vore. It’s where I escape to in my head when the world around me is bearing down and crushing me under pressure. I share this, and much more, with many fans of safe vore.

People who like fatal, if they know what they’re doing, will try to respect the boundaries of more sensitive people. If they don’t, they’ll do all they can to force their views in others’ faces, leaving only themselves happy in the end. They’ll take beautiful work and dribble blood (or worse) all over it. They steal people’s personal pictures of themselves and add gross captions, then post it up as art.

People like this are slowly driving good people out of the vore community. I’ve seen it happen several times over, and it’s making me sick. What exactly are you accomplishing by turning someone’s safe place into their worst nightmare? What are you gaining by forcing them out? Do you think there’ll be more art there just for you after they drop it?

This all will either reach only the people on my side of the argument, or the ones I’ve adressed will look, laugh, and keep doing what they’re doing, but now with more pride than before… But I had to say this. The people who I said were being driven out don’t know me, and I don’t know them, but when they leave the community, I feel like I’m losing a friend. I’m beginning to feel like a wolf walking among fur trappers trying to find my pack, and only finding their pelts. The thing that, not long ago, stopped me from feeling so alone is now making me feel more isolated than ever.

So, seriously. Stop your shit and learn some manners, guys. You’re hurting people far more than you may think you are when you toss death into their happy place.

4

Let Your arms enfold us

Through the dark of night

Will Your angels hold us

Till we see the light?

CHARACTER AESTHETICS.

BOLD any which apply to your muse!
Remember to REPOST!
Feel free to add to the list!

[ COLORS ] red. brown. orange. yellow. green. blue. purple. pink. black. white. teal. silver. gold. grey. lilac. metallic. matte. royal blue. strawberry red. charcoal grey. forest green. apple red. navy blue. crimson. cream. mint green.

[ ELEMENTS ] fire. ice. water. air. earth. rain. snow. wind. moon. stars. sun. heat. cold. steam. frost. fog. lightning. sunlight. moonlight. dawn. dusk. twilight. midnight. sunrise. sunset. dewdrops.

[ BODY ] claws. long fingers. fangs. teeth. wings. tails. lips. bare feet. freckles. bruises. canine. scars. scratches. wounds. burns. spikes. feathers. webs. eyes. hands. sweat. tears. feline. chubby. curvy. short. tall. normal height. muscular. piercing. tattoos.

[ WEAPONS ] fists. sword. dagger. spear. arrow. hammer. shield. poison. guns. axes. throwing axes. whips. knives. throwing knives. pepper sprays. tasers. machine guns. slingshots. katanas. maces. staffs. wands. powers. magical items. magic. rocks. mud balls.

[ MATERIALS ] gold. silver. platinum. titanium. diamonds. pearls. rubies.sapphires. emeralds. amethyst.metal. iron. rust. steel. glass. wood. porcelain. paper. wool. fur. lace. leather. silk. velvet. denim. linen. cotton. charcoal. clay. stone. asphalt. marble. dust. glitter. blood. dirt. mud. smoke. ash. shadow. carbonate. rubber. synthetics.

[ NATURE ] grass. leaves. trees. bark. roses. daisies. tulips. lavender. petals. thorns. seeds. hay. sand. rocks. roots. flowers. ocean. river. meadow. forest. desert. tundra. savanna. rainforest. caves. underwater. coral reef. beach. waves. space. clouds. mountains.

[ ANIMALS ] lions. wolves. bears. eagles. owls. falcons. hawks. swans. snakes. turtles. ducks. bugs. birds. whales. dolphins. fish. sharks. horses. cats. dogs. bunnies. praying mantises. crows. ravens. mice. lizards. werewolves. unicorns. pegasus. dragons. rats.

[ FOODS/DRINKS ] sugar. salt. candy. bubblegum. wine. champagne. hard liquor.beer.coffee. tea. spices. herbs. apple. orange. lemon. cherry. strawberry. watermelon. peach. vegetables. fruits. meat. fish. pies. desserts. chocolate. cream. caramel. berries. nuts. cinnamon. burgers. burritos. pizza. ambrosia.

[ HOBBIES ] music. art. watercolors. gardening. smithing. sculpting. painting. sketching. fighting. writing. composing. cooking. sewing. training. dancing. acting. singing. martial arts. self-defense. electronics. technology. cameras. video cameras. video games.computer. phone. movies. theater. libraries. books. magazines. cds. records.vinyls.cassettes. piano. violin. guitar. electronic guitar. bass guitar. harmonica. harp.woodwinds. brass. bells. playing cards. poker chips. chess. dice. motorcycle riding. eating. climbing. running.

[ STYLE ] lingerie. armor. cape. dress. tunic. vest. shirt. boots. heels. leggings. trousers. jeans. skirt. jewelry. earrings. necklace. bracelet. ring. pendant. hat. crown. circlet. helmet. scarf. brocade. cloaks. corsets. doublet. chest plate. gorget. bracers. belt. sash.coat.jacket. hood. gloves. socks. masks. costume. ruffle collar. cowls. braces. watches. glasses. sunglasses. visor. eye contacts. makeup.

[ MISC ] balloons. bubbles. cityscape. light. dark. candles. war. peace. money.power.percussion. clocks.photos. mirrors. pets. kisses. diary. fairy lights. madness. sanity.sadness. happiness. optimism. pessimism.loneliness. fear. family. friends.assistants. co-workers. enemies. loyalty. deception. smoking. drugs. kindness. love. hugs.

tagged by: @temperamental-snake

Tagging: @kantokendokote @koyossei @burmecias-protector @devilslcg @deriision @givemxmore @cyberneticlagomorph @vcgabcnd  @getrecklcss @suckmygreatnakeddagger @bundonge @nakedmohawk @inlustriis  and anyone who wants to do this! :)