never making one of these ever again

Y'all. I went to my friend’s new apt to smoke and catch up last night, right? Well I met his new roommate, and my gay ass got bitch slapped by that “oh no she’s hot” moment, but I didn’t really let myself think about it because I thought she was straight. I then find out later in the night that she’s possibly queer, which I still didn’t let get my hopes up (I will never fall for a straight girl again this bitch has suffered too much in that department). But then. This bitch. One second she was talking about her Halloween costume and “do you want to see” and the next she walked out in A FUCKING HAMBURGER COSTUME looking like the biggest dork I’ve ever seen in my life and I nearly fell for her right fucking there so @ Aphrodite bitch if u make me catch feelings for that ridiculous nerd I swear…

anonymous asked:

i'm a cancer with a libra mars who really can't stay mad at people lol. i'll be thinking one minute "cool, i'm never going to talk to this person ever again" and then 5 minutes later i'm just like eh. over it.

That’s totally an Air Mars thing - the Air signs don’t tend to hold grudges and just don’t think that situations need to be taken so seriously when instead you can simply make up and move forward. :~) Especially for Libra Mars, they hate being on bad terms with anybody since it makes them feel distressed so they’d rather forgive.

2

Using my platform as a woman with large breasts and the ability to go from a black woman to a thick ass white woman with the change of a hair color to say this:
I will NEVER feel ashamed to say how I feel about 45. He is an abomination to this country and a racist. You got racists out here harming POC just because they feel they can, walking around in their Make America Great Again hats. Hate doesn’t make America great. Plus when you think about it, when was a country built on a foundation of SLAVERY ever great?? My message isn’t a racist one, it’s one out of anger. I’m angry because POC in Flint don’t have clean water. I’m angry because cops aren’t being held accountable for killing POC. I’m angry that a man that knows nothing about politics is sitting in the White House Oval Office after one of the best presidents in my lifetime worked his ass off and wasn’t accepted because of the color of his skin.  I’m angry because rich white Republican men think they can like porn on Twitter and still bash women who want birth control/take away birth control. I have every right to be angry, and I’m not angry at all white people, just the racists who follow this man like God.

But now that I’ve taken your focus from what’s really here, LOOK AT THOSE TITTIES.

I love the ACOTAR series, but I think I’d adore a version of it where fairies (and High Fae too) are a bit weirder and dangerous and monstrous and inhuman: still beautiful, but beautiful in a way that is not uber-movie-star perfection, but a wicked, disturbing and definitively otherwordly thing. 

Like, Tamlin would still be the High Lord of spring, sure - but his hair would be actual flowers, closing and blossoming with twilight and dawn, and antlers on his head, and maybe sometimes, when he’s sleeping or fighting or fucking, thorns would spread from under his skin, bleeding with wild roses.

Rhysand would still be breath-takingly handsome - but he’d be a sleek, smoky thing of moon and dark, pianist fingers ending in talons he can’t hide, and raven’s feathers instead of hair. His eyes would stil be lovely and violet-blue, but they’d be an actual moonlit sky - with stars slowly spinning in them, and a solitary moon rising and waning where pupils should be.

Mor would still be herself, but a tad more like the Celtic Goddess she takes her name from: sweet and silvery, refreshing like clear water, with hair spun in starlight tumbling down her shoulders and snagging in her amor, the maiden and the mother. But then she’d step on the battlefield, and warriors would fall at her blade, and then her cheeks would flush crimson, her eyes bleeding red, and she’d be beautiful and horrible at the same time, beaming with silver light, a quartz princess of the dark caves of her kin.

Elain would get out of the Cauldron with fawn’s velvety ears, vines and blossoms spiraling and spreading across her skin, almost tattoos, shifting with the sun and her emotions. At first, they’d stay tightly closed - shivering and wrinkled liker her soul. And Lucien would have true fox ears, and clever, gold-flicked fox eyes, and his ears would tremble with delight the first morning he would make one of Elain’s blossoms open to him.

Nesta would forever be beautiful, but she would never be lovely again. The Cauldron didn’t leave her any softness, any warmth, any sweetness of features or shape. Looking at the sharp planes of her face, at the bloody-red slash of her lips is like looking at the jagged peaks of a mountain - at white wood washed over a shore, polished and hard and dead. She mourns her youth in secret: she mourns whatever girl-like beauty she has ever had, that scrap of Elain that used to live in her. Now she looks like a monster. She looks like something you should be scared of. But Cassian has teeth, predator’s teeth, and his hands have claws, and when he’s holding her she’s not afraid he will be scared. 

Maybe they’ll devour each other, but they’ll do it together.

And Feyre…  Feyre would find herself with new joints, new hands - with eyes that could see clearer and wider than ever before, but that are also pure pools of black, with no pupil no iris and no white. Her teeth are sharp - they tear through her lovers’ skin and don’t stop till they draw blood. And there’s something of the forest in her, too, of the woods where she had made herself a hunter: twigs and leaves growing amidst her hair, corsets made of leather and oakwood, so that when she’s running through the trees she looks like a sprite or a pixie - barefoot, quiver on her back, fangs bared in pleasure. She passes by with the rustling of fallen leaves, the whisper of squirrels and owls’ wings. You wouldn’t know she’s behind you till she’ll lean in to kiss your cheek, or stop your heart.

“Feyre darling,” this strange star-eyed Rhys would say, cupping the cheek of his wood-made girl, holding her close so feathers and twigs would mix together, and they would smile mirror fanged smiles, and they would still be beautiful.

100 Ways to Say ‘I Hate You’

I saw a post about 100 ways to say ‘I love you’, so I thought I’d make the anti-version if it doesn’t exist already. Roleplayers, send these to each other for angst reasons! Tw for emotional abuse, language, and some major rejection themes, though some  them are joking and could be used for friendly rivals or pals who play-insult one another. Change or add pronouns as necessary.

  1. “You’re a disappointment to me.”
  2. “I don’t care if you live or die.”
  3. “I used to care about you. Now? I regret every second I wasted.”
  4. “How do you think I feel? I’m pissed off!”
  5. “Go. Just go.”
  6. “If you come back, I won’t be here.”
  7. “I’ve never despised someone as much as I despise you.”
  8. “Ha! You think I care about you? What do you think I am, desperate?”
  9. “I regret ever saying ‘hello’.”
  10. “Leave and don’t come back, ever.”
  11. “Remember when we first met? I wish I didn’t.”
  12. “You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made.”
  13. “Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me.” “You took months/years of my life away. I’ll never get those back.”
  14. “I saw a trash bag on the side of the road today. Reminded me of you.”
  15. “I could have been doing so much better than wasting my time with you.”
  16. “You’re a sick bastard, you know that?”
  17. “I don’t care.”
  18. “Go ahead, leave. Don’t worry about coming back.”
  19. “You’re such a piece of shit.”
  20. “I didn’t think you could be any more of a shithead, but you just proved me wrong.”
  21. “You’re so stupid.”
  22. “Why do I waste my time with you?”
  23. “You’re not the person I thought you were.”
  24. “Hey! Just a daily reminder: you’re a piece of shit!”
  25. “I deserve so much better.”
  26. “We’re not friends. We were never friends!”
  27. “I pretended to like you because I felt bad for you! How did you fall for that?”
  28. “I never want to see you again.”
  29. “You’ve done nothing but make my life a living hell.”
  30. “Don’t apologize - you don’t deserve my forgiveness!”
  31. “No, I’m never giving you another chance!”
  32. “I wish you were never born.”
  33. “You’re the last person I wanted to see right now.”
  34. “I’d rather be working with anyone else in the whole world right now.”
  35. “When you get back, your shit’s gonna be on the front lawn. Take it and get out.”
  36. “Go ahead, choose them! You deserve each other.”
  37. “I don’t know what they see in you.”
  38. “You’re an embarrassment to me.”
  39. “You’re an embarrassment to all of us.”
  40. “I wish it was you. I wish it was you to die instead of them.”
  41. “God, why did I have to end up working with the biggest asshole in the world?”
  42. “How could you think I ever loved you? You seriously think I’d sink that low?”
  43. “Sorry, I just puked in my mouth a bit. I accidentally looked at your face.”
  44. “How can you even live with yourself?”
  45. “If I was your mirror, I’d break myself just so you would throw me in the trash and I wouldn’t have to look at you.”
  46. “Being with you was the worst time of my life.”
  47. “You’re a monster.”
  48. “Not a day goes by that I don’t wake up wishing I was dead because of you.”
  49. “I’m going to ruin your fucking life.”
  50. “You said you would change, but you never did! You never will!”
  51. “Some people are just born to fail. Sorry you’re one of the unlucky ones.”
  52. “You’re so worthless, you hardly even exist to me.”
  53. “I wish I could go back to the day I met you, and just walk away.”
  54. “If you give me that look one more time, I’m skipping jump-rope with your large intestines.”
  55. “Honestly, I’m embarrassed to even know you.”
  56. “Ugh, it smells like something died in here. Oh. It’s just you.”
  57. “You need to stop. You hurt everyone around you!”
  58. “Until you get your shit together, I don’t want to hear you complain.”
  59. “Look at you. You’re disgusting.”
  60. “Stop making me look bad.”
  61. “You have a face that makes me wish punching people wasn’t frowned upon in our society.”
  62. “Shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear your obnoxious voice.”
  63. “Go play in traffic.”
  64. “Fuck off.”
  65. “If I saw you in the ocean clinging to a log for safety, I’d save the log and let you drown. At least wood can become something useful, like toilet paper.”
  66. “How could I ever love something as terrible and hideous as you?”
  67. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
  68. “It was all a lie.”
  69. “I never loved you, and I never will.”
  70. “Don’t try to beg. It won’t work.”
  71. “You’re not worth the mud on the bottom of my shoes.”
  72. “Look at you. You’re pathetic. I’ve never seen a sadder sight.”
  73. “I’m going to hurt you slowly, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”
  74. “For what you did to them, I’ll do the same to you.”
  75. “An apology? You want to offer an apology? No. I don’t accept it.”
  76. “You’re everything I hate in a person.”
  77. “I wish you were dead.”
  78. “You’re nothing to me. Less than nothing!”
  79. “What a sad sack of shit you are.”
  80. “My life is in fucking shambles thanks to you!”
  81. “How could you? You bastard!”
  82. “I’d rather eat sewage than ever touch you again.”
  83. “Hey asshole, I’m here to ruin your day, just like I did yesterday and the day before that.”
  84. “You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive.”
  85. “Hey, it’s my least favorite waste of space.”
  86. “Every day that I woke up next to you, I was tempted to smother you with a pillow while you slept.”
  87. “Love you? Don’t make me laugh.”
  88. “Just thinking about you makes me sick to my stomach.”
  89. “You deserve a slow and painful death for what you’ve done.”
  90. “I can’t stand people like you.”
  91. “Stop doing that thing. You know, that thing I hate. Breathing.”
  92. “If I could trade you for a nest of angry wasps, you would be long gone.”
  93. “I can’t wait to dance on your grave.”
  94. “If we were the last two people on earth, I’d be subtracting one.”
  95. “I never want to see the likes of your filth around here again.”
  96. “I’m disgusted by you.”
  97. “Fuck you!”
  98. “If I ever see you again, it will be far too soon.”
  99. “I have three words for you: Burn. In. Hell.”
  100. “I hate you.”
10

I never had a greater friend than you. And we traveled a lot and I’ve never had a greater friend than you.

the absolute rawness and honesty dan had in his new video, had me floored. i’m so used to dan being vague and beating around the bush and i understand he doesn’t owe us a damn thing, but the bravery it took to admit to millions of people his deepest darkest secret made me cry. Dan is such a good man, and the fact he did all of these things: write a fuckING BOOK, went on three tours that spanned three different continents, continued to make content, do live shows, tweet every once in a while to tell us that he was alive while clinically depressed are things that show me how strong he really is. dan howell cowrote a fucking book while CLINICALLY DEPRESSED. he spent months on tour while clinically depressed. i never ever want to hear another one of you bad mouthing him again. i love dan howell so much. 

To him,

The lucky man she ends up with,

Love her. With every ounce of your being. Make sure she knows you love her and care for her. Do the small things. They’ll go a long way. Treat her like a princess. She’s the most amazing girl and deserves the best. Buy her flowers randomly, especially daisy’s, those are her favorite. Or if you really wanna make her happy dye some roses with a bunch of cool colors but make the prettiest rose purple. That’s her favorite color. She’ll smile huge and not know what to say but she’ll love it. Buy her candy and put on a movie. She loves air head bites and watermelon sour patch, she can eat the whole bag in 1 sitting. Order a pizza. She loves pepperoni and pineapple. It sounds weird but it’s actually pretty good, but be careful because she’s allergic to normal pineapple. Let her lay her head on your chest and play with your hair. Let her listen to your heart beat. It’ll calm her heart when she gets nervous. Tell her how beautiful she is, she should hear that multiple times a day because she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. If she has an anxiety attack, make sure she knows it will be okay. Be there for her the whole time. Comfort her. Hold her. Try to get her mind off of it. Play music, especially Big Jet Plane. That’s her favorite song and it’ll calm her heart beat. Take her on dates and hype her up. Tell her how gorgeous she is and how when your with her it’s like the stars align and everything is perfect. Tell her that she’s your daisy in a field full of wild dandelions. She’s a rarity. There is no one like her so make sure she knows that. Massage her feet. I know it’s random but she likes it. Kiss her feet, let her know that there is nothing about her you don’t find flawless. Everything she finds as a snaggletooth, you should love with all of your heart. Let her know you’re thinking about her at random times throughout the day. It’s cute. When you drive past daisy’s on the side of the road, be ready to stop because she loves to pick them. If she ever tells you she needs to stop picking them, don’t let her. It’s one of her favorite things to do. When she’s mad at you, kiss her. Don’t go to bed mad at each other, fix the issue, trust me it’ll be worth it in the morning. Let her paint on your back, she always wanted to do that wth me but never got the chance. I wish we did but she will love to use your body as a canvas. Let her take pictures of your eyes. Everyone’s eyes have a different story and she loves taking close ups of them. Let her wear your deodorant, especially if you wear Old Spice Fiji, she loves the way it smells. Take her to pick strawberries. Eat them all and make some cool desserts with them. She loves Nutella so make sure she has some with her strawberries. Fall asleep with your faces right next to each other. Hold her hand wherever you go. Draw circles on her body with your fingers. Whenever she is self-conscious about her body, make sure she knows she was made in the image of God. Make sure she knows how beautiful she is. Kiss her in the places she’s worried about. Kiss her everywhere. Kiss every one of her fingers and then kiss them again, she loves it. Support her. With whatever she wants to do. She’s so determined to be successful and needs a strong man behind her pushing her forward. Be a man of God in her life. Lead her closer to God because that’s the most important thing in this world. Make her feel safe. Make her feel at home. Treat her like a queen because she is a queen and she deserves the world. Love her with ever ounce of your being, I mean everything you have. You’ll never meet anyone like her ever again so don’t let any moment pass without taking it all in. Take pictures of her randomly. Fill your phone with thousands of pictures of her and then send them to her at random times telling her how beautiful she is. Don’t rush her, let her take her time. You can’t rush love. Let it come naturally. Just never give up on her. Fight for her. But promise me this. Promise me you won’t hurt her. Protect her heart and take care of her. Please. She deserves the world.

How to make Seventeen suffer
  • S.Coups: Give him more children to take care of
  • Jeonghan: Make him stay awake for more than 18 hours
  • Joshua: Don't hype up his spin drop
  • Jun: Never reply to his selfies
  • Hoshi: Rob him of the choreographer job and let everyone else but him make the dances
  • Wonwoo: Never leave him alone, making him not get any alone time ever
  • Woozi: Make everyone get touchy and feely with him at the same time
  • Seokmin: How does one make Lee Seokmin suffer??? He is smiling all the time how does he do that
  • Mingyu: Make him cook food for more children
  • Minghao: Declare dabbing a crime
  • Seungkwan: Never let him MC again
  • Vernon: Remind him of "Headlines headlines"
  • Dino: Dino nugu aegi

Psychic: I’m going to take a look into your mind


My brain: I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY FOUR JEWS IN A ROOM wavING THROUGH a WINDOWWW-just michael in THE BATHROOM michael I’m ALIVE IM ALIVE I AM SOO ALIVE I wanna go OOOOOoooouuuTTTT TONIGHT- ALABANZA O DONA CLAUDIA SENOR ALABAnYOURE MAKING THINGS UP AGAIN ARNOLD You can’t STop THE BEAT-STOP PULLING ON MY DICK the internet is for PORN what the heck I gotta dooOOOooo T-T-T-T-T-touCH ME- ONE DAY MOREE you’re never ever ever GETTING RID OF ME- 96,000 dollas? HOLLA oh MAMA WELCOME TO THE SIXTIEEES FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MAGGOTS IN MY SCROOOOOOTUMMM


Phychic: holy fuck

the album red by taylor swift (2012) is the most beautiful piece of art that has ever been produced. it’s the perfect fall album to sit and listen to while you’re sipping on apple cider and reading your favorite book. it has bops, beats, and ballads. you wanna dance around in your room? you have we are never ever getting back together, 22, i knew you were trouble. you wanna listen to heartbreaking ballads? you have the last time, sad beautiful tragic, all too well, i almost do. you wanna listen to songs that are happy? you can listen to starlight, holy ground, stay stay stay, everything has changed. you wanna listen to songs with lyrics that make your heart burst? you can listen to begin again, state of grace, treacherous, the lucky one, red. not to mention that the deluxe edition is also beautiful as well. i don’t care if it wasn’t “sonically cohesive” because it has everything an album needs and i still think it deserved album of the year!!!!!!

Mute

- Where Harry doesn’t talk and falls in love with Y/n.

Masterlist linked in bio


It’s Monday, which means that Harry has to start his week with Physics class.

Harry doesn’t mind the subject itself, he actually has come to the conclusion that it’s the class he’s most interested in—it’s more so the three-hour lab that couldn’t seem to end soon enough. Physics lab means three hours of group research, which requires an abundance of group participation and discussion—all of which makes Harry want to crawl out of his own skin.

And despite Physics holding Harry’s highest grade in university, everyone in that class only hopes to not be paired with him.

Not one student has heard him utter a single word, which ultimately led them to believe that his lack of participation will jeopardize their already mediocre grades. But Harry always finds himself writing all the data information to make up for his lack of discussion, even if he hated it.

So inevitably, Harry lets out an inaudible sigh when he settles into his chair, hair a bit disheveled and eyes still watering from the early hour. And he mentally curses himself for sleeping in a couple extra minutes because now he hasn’t gotten a single ounce of caffeine to help him feel more prepared for the next three hours.

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Bruise [ IX ]

Genre [Rating] : Angst [M]

Length: 6k

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Summary: He wasn’t yours, and you weren’t his, but that couldn’t stop your heart from believing otherwise.

Bruise Masterlist

Originally posted by loverkoreanasian

Red was the color that painted your skin through the sleepless night alone. Your eyes grew red from the endless stream of frustrated tears that dripped down your temples. Your cheeks changed hue from rawness, the sleeves of your sweater scratching away at them until they near bled. Your phone battery drained to zero, red painting the icon when you stared at it, debating calling him so his voice could fade your consciousness. Your lips drew too much blood to the surface when you bit down on them to stop another sigh from slipping out, desperate for it to all stop. Desperate for everything to be a dream you could wake up from rather than something you had to deal with when the sun rose back up into the sky.

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#awkward #pining #ministry

Prompts: @tera2
Author: @queenofthyme

Harry read the article again. He didn’t know why he put himself through it. Rita Skeeter’s outlandish claims never failed to make him angry. And he’d already forced The Daily Prophet to run a redaction days ago. 

No, he did know, actually. It was the accompanying image. The one with Draco Malfoy staring right into the camera, unblinking, a challenge in his eyes. It was familiar but at the same time nothing Harry had ever seen before (except during his many rereads of this particular paper). Malfoy had aged. Matured obviously since he was now a Ministry official. There was just something about his face. The same but different. Harry was drawn to it.

“Auror Potter." 

Harry looked up to find that same face at his doorway, focusing a steely gaze on Harry. He was so shocked he forgot he was holding a cup of tea. It dropped to his desk with an embarrassing clatter, spilling its contents, all over Malfoy’s inked face.  

The Malfoy at Harry’s office door – the real one – didn’t move. His eyes flickered down to Harry’s desk, watching the spill unfold passively.

Harry jumped to his feet and quickly bundled up the wet paper, throwing it face down into a waste basket at his feet. He wasn’t sure if he’d been fast enough.

He looked back up to Malfoy, searching for any sign he might have seen. Nothing. But that hardly meant much. Harry suspected Malfoy’s emotions didn’t play so obviously on his face anymore. He nodded in what he hoped was a professional courteous manner. "Dralfoy.”

Harry froze, the awful blunder hitting his ears just as it came out of his mouth. He could feel himself blushing, his palms getting clammy, his knees weak. Was simply Malfoy’s presence enough to make him come undone these days?

And just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, Harry, not quite sure how much longer he’d be able to stand for, slumped back into his seat - or at least attempted to – but misjudged the position and ended up plummeting to the floor instead.

The only saving grace – if there was any positive to the situation at all – was that at least on the floor, behind his desk, he was hidden from sight. He wondered if he crawled under his desk and stayed there, if Malfoy would get the idea and leave. Harry was seriously considering the option when Malfoy came into view again, stepping around the desk to loom over Harry.

He offered a hand. Harry gladly took it, forgetting for a moment the current predicament of said hands. And sure enough, after Malfoy helped Harry to his feet, he quickly let go and wiped his hand on his trousers.

Harry wanted to close his eyes and crawl up into a ball in the corner of the room. He never wanted to look Malfoy in the eye again. In less than a minute, he had made himself look like a complete fool. And all it took was for Malfoy to walk in the bloody room.

Malfoy cleared his throat. “I just came by to say hello. I thought it was polite given we work in the same building now. Which, of course, you already know.” His eyes darted to the waste basket. Shit.

“I had The Daily Prophet write a redaction,” Harry blurted out, as if that would help. Although at least he managed to get the words right this time.

“That was you? I should have guessed. You never miss an opportunity to save my skin.” Malfoy’s lips quirked upward for the smallest moment before his composure returned. “Well, it was nice seeing how the other side lives. I suppose I must get back to it.”

“Right,” Harry managed to nod. “I’ll get the door for you.”

They both stared at the open door.

Having already committed to the pointless task, Harry hurried forward and tripped over his own feet, falling right into Malfoy’s waiting – his reflexes were still as fast as they were in Quidditch – arms. Could Harry be more embarrassing?

Malfoy righted Harry but kept a firm grip on him – perhaps he thought Harry might slump to the floor otherwise, which was probably an accurate assumption at this stage.

There was amusement in Malfoy’s face now, a lightness in his eyes. “Are you always this clumsy, Potter, or am I special?”

“You’re special,” Harry answered quickly as he didn’t want Malfoy to think this was how all his mornings went. Although, after he realised what he’d said, he quickly tried to take it back: “No, I mean, wait, I mean, that’s not what I  -“

Malfoy took a step back, dropping his arms. “No need to be so flustered, Potter,” he interrupted. “I keep all the newspapers with your face on them too.”

Harry’s brain short-circuited. He must have stood there blinking at Malfoy for a solid five seconds before he was able to ask: “All of them?”

“Thirty-four and counting.” Malfoy winked. “You know, Potter, if you were to take me out to dinner, I’m sure the outing might be scandalous enough to make the front page. We could add to both our collections.”

“If I – you – dinner?” Harry repeated, a little discombobulated.

“Why, Potter,” Malfoy said, a cheeky smile appearing on his face, “I thought you’d never ask. I’d love to.”

Harry blinked – it was the only action he was capable of.

Malfoy laughed lightly when Harry didn’t reply. He made to exit, but paused briefly to call out over his shoulder: “I finish at six.”

Only when Malfoy was out of view did Harry let his knees give in.

more like this l @queenofthyme

5

Blond Skywalker genes, the secret’s out thanks to the little Matt the Radar Technician incident…