never leave please

We may not get to see each other everyday. I am unable to hold you in my arms every night. But my heart knows that you are the one, and I will never let go.
I’m afraid. I’m afraid that you are going to end up like everyone else that has ever left me. I’m afraid that one day you aren’t going to see the quirky little things I do as endearing or cute, but rather annoying and obnoxious. I’m afraid that you won’t see the things I say and do as you do now, that you will eventually grow annoyed of me. I’m afraid that you’ll see my flaws for what they are, disgusting. I’m afraid that you’ll up and leave just like they all do. please don’t leave me
—  I’m just so goddam afraid
I just want to get out of here. I want to call you and tell you everything that’s wrong and i want you to tell me that its going to be okay. I need you to tell me its going to be okay.
I’m so scared.
Scared that you’ll get over me so fast.
That I am just a pass-by, a fling for you.
That you do like that girl that comments on all your instagram pictures more than you like me.
Even though you said you don’t.
That you’d prefer a girl who does look good in the morning when she just woke up,
without having to conceal the dark circles under her eyes.
That every moment with me would easily be replaced for moments with others.
That even though you say you love me, you don’t do nearly as much as I do love you.
— 

Please don’t leave

Excerpt of a book I’ll never write.

I don’t regret loving you nor do I regret letting you break my heart, for if you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have learned how a man should treat me. I wouldn’t have met him, he who helped me recover after you left me broken. Yes, it hurt to be left behind and I wouldn’t wish that pain upon my worst enemy, but I’m glad I was able to have that experience. The way I see it is you let me go so that I could find my way to him, my one true love.
—  please don’t leave me #5
via illuminested