never knew these things existed

Growth is such a strange process. You lose things that you thought you’d be broken without, watch them drift away without regret and actually feel lighter and clearer for it, all while gaining things you never knew existed, watching the invisible, the unimaginable, become a concrete and tangible part of your being.

- Little bitty drabble for a high school track!AU, courtesy of my friend Amy.

It was totally like a moment from a movie. Arnold’s eyes jumped from the ground to those ankles, those calves, those thighs - weren’t shorts like that against dress code? They were so short, little neon green things that didn’t leave much to the imagination (and Arnold had a great imagination). They were eye-searing and brain-melting and perfect to show off the tanned, toned muscle of the runner’s legs.

The runner, who just so happened to be - of all people- the captain of the boys’ track team: Kevin Price.

Good thing Kevin never knew people like Arnold existed; Arnold never was good at adjusting himself with anything like subtlety.

The biggest lesson you’ll ever learn is not to trust a writer without a pen. They’ll write fantasies about the light inside your eyes until the flames flicker out.

The biggest lesson you’ll ever learn is not to trust a writer without a pen. They see things you never knew existed and burn you alive just showing you their pain.

The biggest lesson you’ll ever learn is not to trust a writer without a pen.
It’s not love, it’s lies in their hearts, bite down, the spilled ink tastes like blood.

The biggest lesson you’ll ever learn is not to trust a writer without a pen,
you don’t need a pen to dig a hole through your chest.
All you need is words.

—  ~Excerpts from a book I’ll never write #70
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This is… unbelievable.

Watch this. You won’t regret it.

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He is very special to me and I can’t ever bring myself to doubt him again. Because of him, I realized a lot of things that I never knew existed; he was the one that opened my eyes to see that there’s the good and the bad things in life. 

 I never gave up on thinking about him. I knew he was coming back. I continued to play our melody in hopes of it healing him during his journey. And I’m glad that it reached him, even after the loud crashing of waves to the piercing silence of the Red Sea.. I’m glad he came back to me.

Life As We Know It

I Have Loved You Since Series: Life As We Know It

Masterlist

The sun crept through from underneath the curtains and a small ray of sunlight peaked in. Your eyes were lazy as you shifted your head up towards the nightstand where the clock stood. It was half past seven. 

His breath repeatedly hit the back of your neck. His arms were wrapped around you and he was nearly on the verge of pushing you off the bed. This was what the married life was like; mornings where you’d watch his chest move up and down. Where you’d admire him closely and find things you never knew existed. Maybe a new beauty mark hidden under his curls, or a small dimple you never found until now. Everything about him fascinated you and you could never get tired of looking at him. 

You snuck out of bed and headed towards the nursey. You pushed open the door just to peak in to find your 11 months daughter, chewing on her toes. She was still in the middle of her teething and it hurt you more than anything not being able to help her. You watched Darcy for a while until her eyes lit up after spotting you at the doorway. She attempted to stand on her two feet as she was just learning to take her first steps and rattled the bars on the crib, begging you to pick her up. 

“Good morning, baby,” you cooed, reaching for her. “Good morning sunshine, how did you sleep, my love?” With her tiny, dainty hands, she cupped your two cheeks and gave sloppy, wet kisses around your mouth. 

“Oh, kisses for me? You shouldn’t have, little one,” you kissed her softly before laying her down on the changing table to fix her diaper. 

You were in love with this little baby. So in love. To think Harry could have given you something so precious, so delicate, you couldn’t be more grateful. 

“Are you hungry, Darce?” You picked her up and she clung to your side. “Let’s get that tummy of yours filled, baby." 

***

Darcy was fed and you had managed to get some work done as well. It was almost quarter to eleven and Harry still wasn’t up.

"You’re a mess, my love,” you grabbed a napkin to wipe Darcy’s mouth as she had gotten strawberry juice at every corner. You giggled as she tried to push your hand away and began to whine. Inheriting many traits from Harry, she did not like to get cleaned. 

“Let’s go wake up Daddy huh, sweetpea?” She squealed in excitement and you released the little one from her high chair. “Da-da,” she lisped. She was just beginning to talk and Harry wanted to get every new word on camera. Hence, he went out to buy a new camera just for the memories. 

You picked her up and the two of you began to head up the stairs. She pushed open the door to the bedroom, with her little knuckles and spotted her daddy in bed. There he laid, your husband lying on his stomach with his hair ruffled up in a million angles. “Look who’s there, sweets. Is that Daddy?” You pointed causing Darcy to get excited and wiggly in your arms.

You walked over to your side of the bed and placed her down, letting her crawl towards him herself. She slapped him square in the face, causing you to giggle. You crawled in under the duvet and propped yourself up on your forearm. “Go on, wake Daddy up, Darce!” She slapped him continuously until Harry poked opened an eye. “Da-da!” She squealed. 

“Is that my baby girl?” Harry slurred. He rolled over onto his back to take in the sight of his two beautiful girls. Darcy yelped even louder, she was definitely a daddy’s girl. The happiness, the sparkle in her eyes every time Harry walked through the front doors, warmed your heart. 

He picked her up and sat her on his stomach. She focused as she drew outlines of the tattoos on his chest. You could tell her favorites were the swallows, they were your favorites too. “Good morning, my love,” Harry blew kisses on Darcy’s face. “Did you miss me last night? Huh, did you miss Daddy?” She nodded and her head fell to his chest, listening carefully to his heartbeat. This baby might have not have been in this world long but she was a wise one. He kissed her one last time before looking over towards you. 

“Good morning, babe,” he rasped, smiling tiredly. 

“Morning, mister,” you grinned as you leaned down to give him a kiss. It lingered for a few seconds before Darcy started whimpering. You pulled away and the two of you looked over at the pouty baby.

“Hey,” Harry cooed. “Mumma needs some kisses too, right?” Darcy didn’t say anything but simply lay her head back down onto his chest. You chuckled and looked back over to Harry. 

“Have you been up a while?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I got her changed and fed,” you began. “Oh and Gem might come over later on today.” Harry fixed his eyes on Darcy and began to stoke her hair. “Why?” He asked.

You shrugged, “Just wanted to stop by, she said.” 

Darcy started to cry, she reached for her gums and began to chew on her fingers. You quickly hopped off the bed and headed towards the nursery to grab the cold pacifier. The pediatrician recommended the coldness would help and so far, it seemed to working. You climbed back into bed and handed the pacifier to Harry. He gently poked it in her mouth and she began chewing. 

Harry knew you felt helpless, not being able to help. He wished he could help you, help her! He didn’t like seeing you blame yourself for something so normal, “Babe, it’s okay,” he grabbed your hand and held tightly. “The doctors said this would be completely normal, there’s nothing you can do, and that’s okay, my love. It will go away soon.” He brought your hand to his lips and placed a kiss on top. “Why don’t you grab a shower? I’ll stay in bed and watch Darce.”

You smiled and figured he was right. You leaned down to give him a quick kiss before grabbing a towel and heading straight towards the bathroom. 

***

It was mornings like this that made Harry possibly the happiest man alive. He loved his little girl more than anything. He didn’t know one could love something so much but he did. The moment he held her in his arms for the very first time and she grabbed his finger with her new, baby hands, he knew he wanted more and more babies with you. To think you could have given something so lovely, so fragile, he couldn’t be more grateful. 

He continued to play hide and seek underneath the sheets with his little princess until her Mumma came out from the shower. “Where are you, little one?” He laughed as Darcy popped out from under the sheets. She giggled and squealed as Harry began to tickle her. 

You stood, wrapped around in a towel, at the head of the door. You took in the sight of your laughing husband and daughter and you knew, life couldn’t get any better than this. 

You walked over to your closet and dug through the drawers. You pulled out a pair of knickers and dropped your towel. “You know, I don’t understand why you’re pulling those on if I’m going to take them off later anyway.” Harry smirked. 

“Babe!” You gawked him as you tried to hide your smile and then looked over at Darcy. “What,” he quipped. “It’s not like she understands what we’re saying.” He kissed her temple and looked back over to you. You rolled your eyes and began to pull on his jumper, “You’re a perv.” 

“And you’re beautiful,” he grinned. 

He could have been the biggest perv, fool, idiot, or sap in the world and you still would have loved him with everything you had. 

-

I had so much fun writing this! It was so cute to finally write some of Darcy, thank you to the anon who requested this.

Let me know what you think and continue to send in your requests, lovelies! Love you! 

Nicole. Xoxo

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So the guy who wrote the song from Portal’s end credits did a version with Sara Quin on vocals, apparently back in 2011, and I somehow never knew it existed. Obviously it’s pretty much my favorite thing ever.

No Geographical Knowledge Whatsoever 

Talking about pizza places freaks me out. You people with the message boards tend to lose it over things like ramen, burgers, and pizza. IT IS VERY HARD TO SAY WHICH IS THE BEST CONSIDERING CRISPY ITEMS LIKE PIZZA CONSISTS OF THE SAME 3 BASE INGREDIENTS. 

Fam, for me, Paulie Gee’s is IT. No matter the coast, this is one of my favorite pizza places ever.

The kicker is the ambiance. This isn’t the fluorescent lit pizza spot all drug deals go down in. Nope, Paulie Gees takes a massive proverbial dump on all other pizza habitats. I’ll never forget my first visit - I described it as a night in a fancy log cabin in Sweden. The kind a guy name Francis might own. He has 2 Great Danes because you have to be loaded to own a dog that size. He also buys expensive things you never knew existed, like leather matchbook covers and premium ice from the Everglades. 

I imagine my feeling of thinking I’m somewhere in Sweden is incredibly off, as I have no geographical knowledge whatsoever. Thank you public school systems of the USA. 

Just focus on not knocking a candle off your table and burning the entire place down. 

Paulie Gee’s

Tip: Bring as many friends as possible as you’ll want to try more than 1 pie.

Tip: Go early or go out after because there are a bunch of rad bars out by the waterfront.

Tip: Walk from the L at Bedford. NEVER TAKE THE G or you’ll end up in a Liam Neeson movie. It’s like 15 minutes and I’m sure your underworked legs need it.

Tip: Ask to sit in the back dining room. More ambiance for your pleasure.

Tip: Make sure you get something with the hot honey or hot honey on the side.

Tip: My favorite pizza’s are the Hellboy (fresh mozz, Italian tomatoes, Berkshire sopresatta, parmigiano regiano, and Mike’s hot honey) and the Hometown Brisket (fresh mozz, beef brisket from Red Hook’s Hometown BBQ, house pickled red onions, and drizzle of Hometown BBQ sauce.

Pricing: Hometown Brisket pizza $17, Greenpointer pizza $15, The Gates of Eden salad $10.

When to come here: Amazing date spot, dinner with friends, anytime you want pizza. Dim lighting and amazing atmosphere. One of New York’s best.

Where: 60 Greenpoint Ave Brooklyn 

Times

Monday - Friday 6 - 11pm

Saturday - Sunday 5 - 11pm

Phone: (347) 987 - 3747

We’d joke around at all time. There are some really crazy things in there that I never even knew existed. There are certain chairs for certain positions. There’s a tiny little chair that looks like what happens when you go to the gynaecologist, you know, when you put your feet up.
—  Dakota Johnson about the question :Did you and Jamie play around with the equipment?

And that is the amazing thing about being broken; you break into shatters but those peices only fly up into the sky and bring out new parts of you that you never knew existed. You transform and experience new amazing things.
Just think of someone who has never come across a mirror.  Can he close his eyes and see his face?  Impossible.  He cannot even imagine his face, he cannot meditate on it.  But a man who has come to a mirror, looked into it, known his face through it, can close his eyes and see the face inside.  That’s what happens in relationship.  When a person moves into a relationship the relationship mirrors, reflects himself, and he comes to know many things that he never knew existed in him.
I still choose you. I am so in love with you. I know lately you haven’t felt it from me but I truly do love you more now than I ever have. I still want to marry you. I still want to fall asleep and wake next to your sleepy eyes & voice. I still want it to be you when I roll over in the night and have your hand to grab. I still want it to be you that gets irritated with me because I’m too wiggly during the night. I still want it to be you that I miss at 2pm. It’s been you since the first night we met & I crawled into your passenger seat & couldn’t calm my trembling hands. It’s been you since we got stuck in that elevator and couldn’t stop laughing. I was falling in love in all of those moments and a year & a half later I am still falling in love with you. You’ve made me believe in things I never even knew existed only because it’s the way you love me. It’s been you since minute one & it’s still you a million more to come.