never good enough

Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I give, I will never be good enough for anyone
—  Courtesy of the Depressing thoughts eating me alive
I"m tired of feeling like I’m too much. Like I care too much. Like I drink too much. Like I love too much. Like I’m sad too much. Like I break too much. Like I push people away too much. Like I question everything too much. Like I fuck up too much. Like I fall in love too much. Like I blame myself too much. Like I eat too much. Like I feel alone too much. I just want someone to tell me, “You’re not too much for me to handle. You’re not too little. You’re perfect for me.” I wanna stop overflowing, I wanna just be. I want to feel wanted. I want to stop choosing people that try to fill their holes with pieces of me, because I’ll never fit right. I want someone who just wants me to be me.
—  I’m tired of collapsing

Sometimes I cry, sometimes I completely shutdown, sometimes I just shrug it off, sometimes I cry til I fall asleep, sometimes I harm myself because I can’t make the pain inside of me go away so I harm myself on the outside because I’m just not good enough.

I'm afraid

I’m afraid of people leaving me, when I need them, of people lying to me, when I always tell them the truth, of them forgetting me, when I could never forget them, of being replaced, because I know that I’ll never be good enough, of being hurt and of people giving up on me.