I"m tired of feeling like I’m too much. Like I care too much. Like I drink too much. Like I love too much. Like I’m sad too much. Like I break too much. Like I push people away too much. Like I question everything too much. Like I fuck up too much. Like I fall in love too much. Like I blame myself too much. Like I eat too much. Like I feel alone too much. I just want someone to tell me, “You’re not too much for me to handle. You’re not too little. You’re perfect for me.” I wanna stop overflowing, I wanna just be. I want to feel wanted. I want to stop choosing people that try to fill their holes with pieces of me, because I’ll never fit right. I want someone who just wants me to be me.
Sometimes I cry, sometimes I completely shutdown, sometimes I just shrug it off, sometimes I cry til I fall asleep, sometimes I harm myself because I can’t make the pain inside of me go away so I harm myself on the outside because I’m just not good enough.
I’m afraid of people leaving me, when I need them, of people lying to me, when I always tell them the truth, of them forgetting me, when I could never forget them, of being replaced, because I know that I’ll never be good enough, of being hurt and of people giving up on me.
Nobody cares about me and no one ever will. Everyone always replaces me, because it’s not that difficult to find someone better than me. I feel so worthless, unwanted and like I could never ever be good enough.