never give me a choice or i will combine them and it will be goofy

So I wrote this as a continuous post on hangoverwatch’s post, but I then decided to just rewrite this as my own text so the general public can read it.

Although I enjoy and appreciate the characterization that Jesse Mccree can be a bumbling goof at times (cause I mean, have you seen his outfit?) And how people portray him as a down-to-earth kind of guy that can and will sweep anyone off their feet with his Southern cowboy charm is great all, but I feel like we as a fandom forget that he is an extremely dangerous man.

In canon terms, his bounty is worth a hell of a lot more than Roadhog and Junkrat’s combined. “But Jess, JR and RH’s bounty are in pesos blah blah blah.”  Look, I already did my math, and when RH and JR’s bounties are converted to American currency their amount comes up to $1,371,704.48 each (A total of $2,743,408.96 USD combined) Compare that to Jesse’s whopping $60,000,000 USD bounty, their crimes pale in comparison to Jesse’s. Also, I (for those who need a little more convincing) went ahead and converted Jesse’s bounty to pesos and his came up to a total of $1,093,530,000.00! That’s 2x more than JR and RH’S combined and then some. This guy is a more wanted criminal than them, and they’re known for robbing, bombing, and even killing innocent people. And even if their bounties weren’t in pesos, Jesse’s bounty is still 10,000,000 more than theirs combined.

How he got his reputation to be so notorious is up in the air and will most likely be open to our opinion until we get more history between him, Gabriel, Deadlock, and Blackwatch. (Obviously Deadlock is more of a threat than we may perceive due to them [in the process of] hijacking a government train, and Jack’s voiceline in game saying that Gabriel should have ended Deadlock a long time ago. He of all people should bring up red flags when in comes to gangs considering how he views Los Muertos.)

So knowing that Jesse was part of this group at a young age (in my headcanon he was 15 going on 16) is really terrifying. That gives him a brief time period of a year to get him recruited into Deadlock, figure out his role, steal a lot of government items (successfully might I add), hone his skills as a marksman, and all while making a name for himself. Now, a lot of these things are easy to accomplish at an early age(honing skills, filling a role in a community, and making a name for oneself is all based on dedication.) The thing that’s scary is the fact that more than likely Jesse went on these assault missions and lived while doing the other 3 to the point that he was the only one considered to be taken into OW. Again we don’t know if he was threatened to join or he was offered a spot in OW peacefully. On his bio, it’s said that due to his resourcefulness and expert marksmanship Jesse was given a choice to join or not. So obviously, the person who recruited him (more than likely it was Gabriel) knew about Jesse McCree enough to want him on their team. And as posted by hangoverwatch, OW only has eyes and ears for the best. 

So let’s look at the facts:

Like from earlier in this post, Jesse McCree is a highly skilled man. Skilled enough to:

  • Sit on a train moving at the rate of 640 kpm/h (which is equivalent to 397.678 mp/h. Basically hella fast) with no signs of bodily distress.
  • Able to jump off said moving train with no struggle against wind and gravity while holding himself long enough to break a window.
  • Slaughter an entire Talon operative team BY HIMSELF without killing civilians with pinpoint accuracy even in the dark.
  • Knows he’s capable enough to kill Gabriel–a war hero, super soldier, and the Blackwatch figurehead (his voiceline proves that he feels like he’s the one that should kill Gabriel.)
  • Was able to survive long enough to earn himself a $60,000,000 bounty while still able to somewhat stay in public without being recognized (the event at Hanamura shows that he’s resourceful enough to cover his tracks to where people still don’t know who saved the shop even with his bounty.)

But that’s not it. He’s also the down-to-earth, snarky man that everyone writes/draws him to be

  • While a lethal killing machine can be quite the gentleman (stated by Ana who recalls him being “quite the charmer.”)
  • Has a competitive side (The new summer game line: “I don’t like much losing.”)
  • He’s a cheeky little shithead (ALL of his interactions with Reaper.)
  • He’s a cowboy fanboy (Upon closer examination, Jesse did not get his full cowboy get up until AFTER he left OW. Hinted by the voiceline between him and Reaper. R:You look ridiculous. J:Looked in a mirror lately?) He only had his hat and belt buckle throughout the Golden years. Serape, boots, and spurs came later.

So to everyone that thinks that Jesse McCree is an idiot let me be the one to say that you have never been more wrong. This man is a conniving, calculating, murderous, son-of-a-bitch with a cowboy/vigilante complex. He wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in your head if you stood on the wrong end of justice, and the problem is, is that it’s his code of justice. It’s whatever he deems is good or evil. This guy is seriously not a force to be reckoned with. Although he may not be as book smart as Winston, Mei, and Satya, and even Blizzard stated he can be a bit of an irresponsible adult (not being able to schedule appointments on his own) He can and will outsmart you in a game of wits effortlessly while also make you question your own intelligence. Long story short: Jesse McCree is a goofy, knowledgable, badass that won’t hesitate to kick your butt if you pushed the wrong buttons. So basically don’t get on his bad side and we’re all golden.


A/N: Have I told you about my lovely harem of betas who are also my dear friends? I count on them for everything, and they never fail! @melissas173, @niallandharrymakemestrong, @emulateharry, and @little-black-dress-24 – I couldn’t be the writer I am without your guidance and input. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Oh, and NSFW!  Read at your own risk!

Possible trigger:  self-harm is mentioned briefly


The knock at the door enters my consciousness as part of my dream where Harry’s family is meeting my family and we are standing at the door, knocking endlessly to no avail. When Harry jostles me as he rises to answer the door, I awaken to reality, recognizing that I have spent the entire night in Harry’s room – and his bed. After our second round, we had both dozed off. I was probably asleep first because the exhaustion of the day was just too much combined with the physical and emotional toll of fucking Harry Styles. In the light of day, I bolt upright. I’m unemployed.

At this point, Harry is opening the door with the bar lock in place. My heart starts pounding as I realize two things in rapid succession: as his security, I shouldn’t let him answer his own door at this time of the morning, and…I’m no longer his security. The second thought deflates me, as I wrap my arms around my knees, the sheet draping artfully over me.

“You awake, dude?” It’s Mitch’s voice, and I relax somewhat. Still, I’m not sure I want Mitch to find me here. But I don’t move. My fate is no longer in my hands. If Harry chooses to open that door, then his guitarist will find this ex-private security in Harry’s bed, looking freshly fucked. And that will be accurate information. So I sit still, unsure if I want Harry to out our relationship or not.

There’s this saying that if you want to know what you really desire between two choices, toss a coin. In the moment that the coin is in the air, you will know what you want the answer to be. But when Harry tells Mitch that he will meet the band at the venue, and then closes the door, I still don’t know how I feel. Part of me is disappointed that he didn’t sweep the door open to reveal me with a flourish and an “I’m awake. Was just doing my former security.” The other part of me is relieved that my secret is safe, and that my reputation is still intact.

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anonymous asked:

47 with princality?

47. “Dogs don’t wear clothes!”

characters: roman and patton

pairing: royality (roman/patton)

a/n: so this was supposed to be under 1,000 words but that…didn’t happen. hope you guys enjoy it!

There were things that Roman found cute- for example, dogs. They were sweet and trustworthy and he just couldn’t help but love them. (They could sniff out an evil witch from miles away, as well.)

Then there were things that he absolutely adored, and while the list was small, he always knew what the first thing on it was: Patton. The heart, his heart. He was goofy, he was caring, and he was adorable to boot.

So it was very unfair for the universe to combine the two when he was trying his best to be upset.

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Let’s go to Tokyo

You were positioned in an alleyway, smoking a cigarette, trying and failing to calm your nerves. You had lost the guys following you a few miles back, surely they had given up looking for you for today at least. You can’t remember exactly what get you in the position you now found yourself in, but you didn’t care to find out either. You hadn’t slept in days and things were getting out of hand, you needed anything you could get, and you heard you could find it on Watery Lane.

You quickly throw your cigarette on the ground and stomp it out as you watch a young, handsome boy stroll down the street. You check both ways before leaving your impromptu hiding space, following behind the boy.

“Hey.” You shout, trying to catch up. He stops and turns around, seeing you for the first time. His breath is taken away at the sight of you. Your Y/H/C hair is swept up, beautifully showing of your flawless skin and sparkling eyes. Your long fur coat hugs your body perfectly, working well to cover up your actual intentions. He can’t take his eyes off of you. “Are you a Shelby?”

“Uh..uh..yes I am. Finn.” He says, awkwardly extending a hand towards you. You giggle and shake it.

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anonymous asked:

The thing I like most about mystic messenger is how all the characters are actually written to be likable people, you know? That alone makes the game worth playing to me~ like for example, Amnesia memories, tbh I think that game was way more solid than mm but since the characters just weren't likable, I just didn't like it at all...what do you like most about mm?

*Slams hands on desk* what do I LIKE aBOUT MysTIC MESSenger???

I hope you know I’m extremely biased because I’ve created two Mystic Messenger blogs and written some 40K words of fanfiction for this fandom. But well, you asked about why I like the game, not an impartial review, so here we go! (Below the cut) (Note– due to the nature of this, there will very likely be spoilers below as well, as evidence to back up my opinions) (Also, this got very, very long)

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more fics i’ve read recently!! i have a problem

a blossoming romance - words: 7,533

Stiles will just have to try harder next time. No one can ignore him forever.

welcoming committee - words: 2,625 (part 2 of the above)

“I miss the days when I thought Derek was the strangest person on this block,” Stiles says.

can’t be hateful, gotta be grateful - words: 6,260

“Be cool, Dad, we’ve decided to con Grandma.”

come so hard motherfuckers wanna fine me - words: 3,330

Stiles wakes up naked on the bathroom floor with a throbbing headache and Derek Hale taking care of him.

coming home - words: 9,951

When Stiles comes home from college for Thanksgiving break, the last thing he expects to develop is a sudden, overwhelming attraction to Derek Hale.

deck the halls with lines of sharpie - words: 3,784

Derek has been enjoying the holidays and looking forward to everybody making their way home from college for Christmas break. Particularly, he’s been looking forward to seeing Stiles, who missed coming home for Thanksgiving.

So seeing Stiles a little early is fantastic. Smelling the sharp chemical sting of Sharpie on Stiles isn’t all that pleasant, but it’s no big deal. Noticing Stiles trying his utmost to hide what’s been drawn on him, however, piques Derek’s interest.

possibly i like the thrill of under me you words: 12,287

It’s not that the idea of Stiles talking about him doesn’t make his stomach wrap itself in knots, it’s that it does just that. It makes him unbelievably uncomfortable and he doesn’t quite know why. He’s twenty seven years old, he pays taxes, he takes his mother out for lunch on Sundays; he is a grown up. But he’s getting weird butterflies when he glances over his shoulder to look at Stiles and a heat in his chest that feels something like what he supposes want must feel like.

special collections - words: 16,423

Stiles Stilinski is a senior in college working on his thesis. Derek Hale is the grumpy (though inhumanely attractive) special collections librarian. All they needed was a common interest to spark a friendship that becomes more than either of the bargained for.

reason for call - words: 58,955

Stiles has been working in his call-centre booth for nearly 5 years when he first hears the voice of the new IT guy. Surely anyone who sounds like that has got to be H.O.T

Stiles takes it upon himself to get to know him better. The only problem is, he’s got no idea what he looks like…

five times derek failed to tell stiles how he feels (+1 time stiles knew anyway) - words: 3,338

Stiles grins, impish and proud, and scrabbles at another piece of his notebook. Derek is determined to ignore it - he really is, but Stiles’ legs are longer than they might seem and his reach includes the front leg of Derek’s chair.

He sighs, put-upon, and unfolds the note,

Wanna go steady w/ me? Y[ ] or Y[ ]

triple shot pumpkin spice latte - words: 20,468

AU in which guidance counselor Stiles has to deal with all the students crushing on the elusive and infuriating Professor Hale.

countdown - words: 6,096

0000d 00h 00m 37s

He always imagined meeting his soul mate would take forever; that time would slow down and he would see them walking towards him, he would know without a doubt who it was. It might have been someone he’s seen before but never talked to, or it might be a complete stranger that he never would have guessed. He didn’t imagine it in front of about a hundred people, maybe two-hundred, at a Dolphin show.

soul strong - words: 6,894

“To put it simply,” Deaton said, “you have a soulmate.”

Derek wanted to slam his head against the wall and just black out.

voldemort and jean valjean (walk into a coffee shop) - words: 2,187

So sue him, Stiles had a stupid habit of giving out goofy names at coffee joints.

the opposite of overrated - words: 2,197

Stiles is completely content to live his life in black and white, although he could do without Scott’s gentle ribbing about his color choices.

you are my home - words: 2,302

Loosely inspired by oakseer’s post on Tumblr: “what would happen if punk au combined with daddy derek i think it would result in my body shaking apart”.

the proposal - words: 17,980

The Proposal AU where Stiles has to get engaged to his terrifying boss Derek in order to prevent him being deported. And somehow has to persuade his family that they’re really in a relationship (stop laughing, Scott). Difficult doesn’t even cover it.

now you’re too sweet - words: 6,672

In which Stiles is thoroughly confused and awkwardly misinterprets the situation, and has fallen in love with Derek’s heavenly baked goods before he even knew (let alone fell for) Derek Hale. Also, first meetings are a mess and the universe hates him, but nothing new there, right?

wishing to be the friction in your jeans - words: 3,330

Stiles is just trying to go to work every day and earn a paycheck. It’s not his fault he keeps getting distracted by six feet of muscle and the angriest scowl this side of the Cascades.

the right number - words: 30,377

When Stiles Stilinski’s phone gets switched at the gym, he really just wants it back. The last thing he’s expecting is to fall hopelessly in lust with the guy who’s got his phone.

So, of course, that’s exactly what happens.

Jupiter Ascending: space queen, not space princess

I see two main choices that people who like Jupiter Ascending can make:

1.       Decry the fact that it’s 2015 and a character like Jupiter Jones has only just now appeared on the silver screen.

2.       Celebrate the fact of Jupiter Jones’s existence.

I definitely take the latter tack. What I find essential about Jupiter Ascending is that the Wachowskis do not care about playing the Hollywood game.

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