never ever ever listening to anything else

the only song i ever listen to is potential breakup song by aly & aj. i never listen to anything else. if i feel like listening to music that’s what i listen to. it’s been on repeat since 2007. my itunes consists of 1 song, potential breakup song by aly & aj, and the play count is somewhere around 50,000 plays. if you ever see me listening to music, don’t even ask what song i’m listening to, because you know it’s potential breakup song by aly & aj, so why would you even ask

You see this face? This is the face of a boy in the most beautiful state of disbelief to ever exist. Stiles stilinski has loved Lydia Martin for years–since the third grade–and has always seen her for who she really is. He listened to her when no one else heard. He paid attention to her when no one else did. He remembered everything she ever tried to hide. He knew how smart she was despite how hard she tried to hide it, and he only loved her more because of it. He never underestimated her. He never sidelined her or blew her off or thought of her as anything less than important. He complimented her. He treated her as an equal. He did anything and everything for her. He risked his life to save hers. But, above all of this, more important than any of this, he LOVED her. He loved her before anything supernatural tested the limits of their emotions. He loved her before they had to fight for their lives and the lives of others. He loved her when he was just a boy and she was just a girl. He loved Lydia Martin like no one else has, and when he knew he was going to be completely erased from existence, he wanted to let her know that. After years of confiding only in his best friend about his feelings, after years of everyone but Lydia knowing about his feelings, after years of silence, Stiles tells Lydia to remember in any way that she can that he loves her. So, when his friends have saved him, when the love of his life made everyone they know remember who he is to bring him back, he finally gets to hear from Lydia. He never–not once–acted like he needed Lydia to admit anything to him. He never pushed her or pressured her or nagged her or coerced her to love him just because he loved her. He simply loved her, but he didn’t realize how, all this time, that was what was needed most. This is the face of a sarcastic and cocky boy with a heart so big that it stores not only unconditinal love but also immense darkness finally having all the love he gave given back. This is the face of a boy who can’t believe that the love of his life–the girl he’s always loved–loves him back. This is the face of a boy who’s heart is skipping beat after beat because he can not believe that Lydia Martin has come to love him. This is Stiles Stilinski learning that he is loved. This is Stiles Stilinski in heartachingly beautiful disbelief because he loves the same girl that loves him. gif source: @obriens

Kissing in the rain

1985

Mike had gone over to the cabin after school to meet El. They were watching some cheesy romance movie that El simply adored, but Mike…not so much. Mike was falling asleep, his eyes getting heavy.

Still, he didn’t mind. He liked watching her watch the movies. The way her mouth would quietly copy the words the characters said. Her gaze was fixed so intently on the screen.

Mike found himself smiling and went to rest his head atop hers. But she’d moved forward when the scene picked up, the couple in the movie arguing, causing Mike to fall on the couch behind her. Smooth Wheeler, he sighed.

El was too absorbed in the scene that she didn’t even notice. In the movie it had begun to rain, and Mike noticed how her gaze briefly flickered to the window, but there was no rain and her face was a little disappointed.

The couple stopped arguing and began to kiss, El smiled softly.

She couldn’t help imagining her and Mike. She always did. These movies made her wonder what it’d be like to be in those situations with Mike. Even in those days when she couldn’t see him, she’d still picture their reunion. She’d planned it out, imagining how she would run into his arms and he’d pick her up like they did in the movies, kissing her - she had learnt what that was called.

But it hadn’t worked out quite like that. Sure she’d run into his arms, but she hadn’t planned on it being after killing those Demodogs. She’d kind of hoped they’d be alone, that they’d have more time together.

But none of that mattered now. Because he was here, with her.

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When people find out I was in an abusive relationship for three years, they almost always ask the same questions:

“Why didn’t you leave?”

“Why didn’t you just break up with him?”

“Why did you stay?”

You really want to know why I stayed?

I stayed because I was afraid of him. He was unpredictable and violent, and a lot stronger than me. He carried a knife on him at all times, and he used to come to my yard at night and watch my house to make sure I wasn’t sneaking around with other guys. I knew a piece of paper from a judge wasn’t going to keep me safe, and I’d seen time and time again what he was capable of when things didn’t go his way. So I stayed. 

I stayed because I felt sorry for him. He was clearly mentally ill and struggling, and his family had all but abandoned him. He was depressed and desperate for some kind of connection, but he struggled to make friends. He was terrified of being abandoned. I was the only person in his life he could turn to, open up to, and I knew if I left him he’d have nobody left. So I stayed. 

I stayed because I was embarrassed. Leaving the relationship meant admitting that I’d let myself get abused in the first place, and I didn’t want to admit that. I was a straight-A student, a member of every student club, a kid with a bright future. I wasn’t supposed to get into an abusive relationship. I was supposed to be smarter than that. If I just kept going, kept dating him, I could pretend everything was okay. So I stayed. 

I stayed because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. To them, I was a happy, successful kid. I didn’t think they would believe me if I told them I was getting belittled, degraded and demeaned behind closed doors. I didn’t want to be accused of exaggerating. I didn’t think I could handle being told I was ‘being dramatic’ or ‘playing the victim’. So I stayed. 

I stayed because I felt I deserved it. I was overweight and self-conscious, and he never missed an opportunity to remind me that he could have dated a prettier girl. He pointed out girls with nicer bodies, girls with nicer hair, girls with nicer eyes. He made lists of girls who were smarter, girls who were funnier, and girls who were more talented. He never stopped telling me that he was the best I’d ever get, that no one else would ever want me. After a while, I believed him. So I stayed. 

I didn’t stay because I was stupid, or weak, or because I wanted the abuse. Eventually, it became clear to me that I had to get out, and when the first safe opportunity arose, I took it. So next time, don’t ask me why I stayed. Ask me if I’m okay. Ask me how I’m doing. Or don’t ask me anything at all - just be there when I need someone to listen.

Never Have I Ever

(my first klance fic~ thanks to @kageyama-tobiyo for the encouragement!!)

                                 ————————————-

The last time the castle malfunctioned, its system had been poisoned by a Galra virus.

This time, it’s Pidge’s and Hunk’s fault. 

Keith stares at the crack between the floor and door, watching the frantic shadows run across the marble floor. There’s a vein throbbing in his forehead.

“Seriously, who thinks it’s a good idea to play with the castle’s systems while we’re trying to clean?!” Lance yells, smacking the door lightly. Keith can really only see his shoes; his eyes are still adjusting to the darkness. 

Outside, Hunk whines. “We’re sorry, man! We’re trying to fix it!” 

“Well,” Keith sighs, leaning against the wall, “At least there’s enough room for fresh air to get in.” 

Lance hums and moves away from the door. “Good excuse to stop cleaning, too.” 

Keith chuckles quietly. Lance smiles a bit as he looks around the room, searching the darkness. Boredom is already kicking in. Soon enough Coran will come back to check on their progress; he’s kind of looking forward to all the yelling that’ll happen. At least it’ll be entertaining to listen to.

“Hey.” Keith doesn’t respond, so Lance says, “Let’s play a game. Let’s plaaaaaay… Never Have I Ever!” 

“What’s that?”

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Something There Part 7

Annnnnd I’m back! Here we go lovelies! I really hope you enjoy and I’m so sorry about the long wait!

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x Reader

Word Count: 3431 (I know it’s shorter than normal, it felt like the right place to end the chapter)

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six)

Tag List: @imagineham @musicalmoriarty @la-frenchiest-frite @imaginebeinghamiltrash @wolfphantom-m @daveedish @shamagangster @secretschuylersister @love-doesnt-discriminate @icanneverbesatisfied @getupoffathathang @withthatbitch @marquiis-de-la-baguette @consumed-by-musicals @drugsdiggs @hamfan22 @lawliette1031 @hamfamhamfam @y-lue @chloehamiltonn @patron-saintof-sluts @hanakatsumi @americanrevelation @ginnemer @mofoing-democraftic-republican @stone0502 @merrahonthawall @miightymiighty @mysterywriter36 @iknowthekoolaidflavor @lafislife @canadian-hufflepuff @librarychild @gingerpatchkidd @kimmy-h-life @imreallyfredweasley @parksxo @ccecode @spn-applepie-imagines-deactivat @panromantic-rose @axreblogs @thepaddyb @thats-so-riah @fangirl11032001 @nadialinett14 @cookiepie111 @stress-and-obsess @louisianaspell @herfirstrefrain @astudentsnightmare @secretfanficreader @pumpkjnspjcebreeze @sangshit @thatpunkrockfandomchick


Angelica had never left an event so quickly in her life. Lafayette nodded with understanding as she had kissed his cheek before hailing a cab. Angelica called (Y/N)’s phone multiple times with no response, she tossed her phone in her bag with an angry huff.

“Damn it! What the hell happened back there? I’m sorry but can you please drive a little faster? This is an emergency.”

When the cab pulled up in front of the Schuyler home she rushed up the walk way and when she reached the porch she stopped in her tracks. (Y/N) was sitting on the top step with her knees pulled up to her chest with tears cascading down her cheeks. She was slowly pulling bobby pins from her hair and throwing them into the yard. 

“Oh sweetie…” Angie said as she slowly approached her.
(Y/N) jumped and quickly started wiping the tears off her face. 

“Angie! I’m sorry… I didn’t want to go home. I knew he would go there to look for me. I’ll pick up the bobby pins,” she said as she started to stand up.

“You sure as hell will not,” Angelica snapped,“ Come on let’s go inside and get you cleaned up.”

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BAD TRAITS IN THE SIGNS (based off of people that I've known so VERY biased)

Aries: so enthusiastic and childish. It’s fuckin 8 am why are you doing cartwheels in the hallway?! But also can snap so quick like damn, why so mad ??? Chill tf out.

Leo: control freak. Has to be the leader of everything and be the center of attention

Sagittarius: the biggest asshole you will ever meet. Doesn’t care about anyone else except for themselves. So selfish and just mean

Taurus: SO STUBBORN. They literally can never admit that they’re wrong, ever. OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKES !!! Would eat literally anything and everything. SLOW TF
DOWN BEFORE YOU CHOKE BITCH

Virgo: nice but dumb as hell. Doesn’t know how to spell

Capricorn: complete assholes. So arrogant !!!!! You’re not as amazing as you think/say you are, dickhead

Gemini: the most indecisive. PICK A DAMN MEAL, KATE, THE WAITER IS WAITING FOR YOU. Can never stop talking. Bitch, people stopped listening 27 minutes ago, it’s time to stop.

Libra: so entitled. Sit down, you’re not special, diva. FLIRTS WITH EVERYONE. PROBABLY WOULD LITERALLY FLIRT WITH CARDBOARD CUTOUTS IF THEY HAD THE CHANCE.

Aquarius: can be nice until you cross them and then they snap your fucking neck. So fucking arrogant and doesn’t realize which makes them look even worse. Acts like they’re super cool and badass and like everyone loves them but guESS WHAT BITCH, it’s simply not true!

Cancer: crybaby bruh. IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL WHO CARES

Scorpio: Will literally go through a whole problem and act like nothing is wrong but get mad at you when you don’t know something is wrong. SO MYSTERIOUS TO ME ?? They just keep everything in and it’s like they don’t care about anything ???

Pisces: so damn conceited. Get over yourself, you’re not that cute, you’re not that smart. Tries to be friends with everyone and seem “popular” wayyyy to hard. YOU’RE REACHING, BOO !

Ronan and Noah at a rave
-Noah playing with glow sticks. He has 20. He makes Ronan a crown. Ronan looks damn good in it.
-Ronan and Noah dancing to crazy electronica music and both actually being awesome dancers.
-Ronan drinking and then having Noah take some of his energy, and it actually gives Noah a buzz? Like, Holy shit, Ronan, drink more I haven’t been drunk in years!
-Someone throwing glitter and Noah fucking covering himself in it.
-Noah and Ronan losing their shit because someone made a dance version of the Murder Squash song and they are seriously never going to listen to anything else ever again ever.
-The waitress who almost kills them because they come into the diner at 3am drunk and covered in glitter and she does not get paid enough to deal with this shit.
-Ronan finally passing out in Noah’s room in Monmouth because he is not getting glitter in his room, but also because he knows Noah will like having glitter on his bed.
-Noah lying down beside him, trying to remember what it’s like to sleep next to someone after a good day.
-Ronan pretending he’s not awake when Noah lies down even though Noah’s really cold.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Part X

Pairing: Jensen x Reader
Summary: In this story we get to know Jensen and (Y/N), two humans that have to learn, that despite their brain, they can’t outrun their heart.
When a smiliar friend of them, Jared, introduces the two, sparks fly. They understand each other better than anyone, so it’s no surprise the two eventually end up in bed together. Only condition - No feelings.
Neither of them is the relationship person, and neither of them is ready to act on their emotions. So what happens when out of one night, another one follows, and they have to learn that they can’t live without the other? Will they stop being so stubborn and admit their feelings? Or will it be too late when one finally has the balls to do it?
Warning: none

CLTGC - Masterlist


Keep reading

RIVALRY // MASTERLIST


Request: "So I have to spend the night at my longtime rival’s house, everything will totally be fine because their parents are there (or not) AU" with Kylo holy shit please

A/N: Sorry I did this one so late, I was supposed to to do it amongst others a few months back but never got the chance. Anyway, thanks anon for the request, enjoy!

Word Count: 1.7K+

Warning: None


You weren’t looking forward to it, actually, you were pretty upset by the fact that you had to stay over the Solo residence for a night because your parents were going out of town and didn’t want you home alone. It made you irritated, you were already considered an adult, so why couldn’t they treat you like one? But, of course, that wasn’t the full reason why you were mad. It was the fact that you had to spend the night with no other than your rival, Kylo.

Keep reading

Ok, so I forgot to post these here yesterday when I got home lol but…. I FINALLY GOT THE PHYSICAL REPUTATION ALBUM AND MAGAZINE (I’m getting the other one in like a week or two) AND THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AND THE CD IS SO ABSTRACT AND I GOT THE KING OF MY HEART LYRIC POSTER WHICH IS ALSO BEAUTIFUL AND IM SO HAPPY THIS ERA IS WONDERFUL♥️♥️♥️ Ps. I almost cried in the car when I played the album for the first after I bought it so…. yeah, your impact @taylorswift lol

anonymous asked:

Idk if it's been asked but can I ask for a fic of the JL or YJ stepping in for Bruce to watch over Nightwing to make sure he doesn't get harassed by people/villains? Considering in canon Nightwing is considered pretty and stuff. If you don't feel comfortable writing that kind of thing it's okay and thanks for your time

yes sorry I didn’t write this earlier stuff happened :( sorry

——————————————————————————————-

“If there’s no new business I’d like to adjourn, I have to get back to Gotham” several Justice League members looked uncomfortable and looked back and forth before Wonder Woman cleared her throat. “Well Bruce there was one matter we wanted to bring up with you” Batman gave the group a look that would freeze water. “um a number of us are worried about Dick” 

“why?” his tone was sharp “He seems to be getting a lot of attention lately, villains are making comments during our joint fights with Young Justice, and given the way he dresses… When he was nine it was cute, silly but he’s 17 now and we’re worried it’s drawing the wrong kind of attention from people.” Batman didn’t say anything for a long time. “Dick Grayson is 17 not seven, he can dress himself. I wonder how you would react Diana” his eyes flicked over her “if someone told you to change how you dress to avoid harassment” Wonder Woman’s mouth dropped open before she shut it with a click “finally Robin can handle himself, whatever attention he gets he can deal with. Now that we’re done airing my sidekick’s personal business I’m leaving” 

He was gone before the rest of the League could react. “Well that could have gone better” Hal said pouring himself a glass of water. “Maybe he has a point” Wonder Woman said looking down at her lap. “Hey now” Superman butted in “there’s an important difference between you and Dick, Diana, you’re an adult, you’ve made an informed choice about your costume. Dick is a kid he doesn’t know any better, and the responsible thing is for the adult in his life to set boundaries to keep him safe” 

“Don’t know how I feel about that” Captain Marvel said, he and Superman met eyes across the table and Marvel looked away first. “Well you want to be the one who tells the adult in his life that?” Flash pointed out. “Bruce respects facts” Superman responded “if we can prove that Dick is getting harassed and can’t handle it, he’ll step in” 

“And how do we prove it?” 

“we’ll go to Gotham, and follow Dick, Hal” 

a few hours latter Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash and Green Lantern hovered in the air above Gotham. “You sure we’re invisible Hal?” 

“for the 10th time Berry, YES! no one can see or hear us, have some faith in me!”

“well if Bats finds out we were in his town without asking he’ll kill us”

“quiet you two” Superman said “here they come” a purple 1973 Ford Thunderbird fishtailed around the corner below them it’s engine roared and smoke rolled off the wheels as it fired down the straight away. a split second later a Yamaha FZ-09 in Red and Green whipped around the corner. A skinny boy pressed into the bike a short yellow cape flying out behind him. 

A moment latter the car crashed into a a street light. A figure staggered out of the driver’s side door sweeping his green hair out of his eyes. “Well well well, If it isn’t every one’s favorite pretty boy” Robin leapt off his Bike letting it slide to a stop. “Hey Joker” He said as he landed on his feet placing his hands on his hips. The wind blew his cape to one side showing off his bare legs leading up to a pair of green scale covered briefs that left very little to the imagination. “Well come on apple bottomed boy lets dance” The Clown pulled a gun and the Justice Leaguers tensed, but Robin was already moving dodging shots and closing the distance, in moments it was over. 

The night went like that. Poison Ivy complimented his long eye lashes “so like a girl’s” Two-Face mentioned his two round cheeks, Calendar Man said that if he looked like Robin “every day would be Valentine’s Day” Dick took it all in stride laughing and taking out villain after villain. The League was horrified “by the Gods, is there a single villain that doesn’t hit on him?” 

“Honestly, no I don’t think so” said Hal. “Hey were’s he going?” Dick ducked down an ally a moment latter his costume was gone. Dick Grayson was wearing tight jeans, a too high white t-shirt and a high school letterman jacket. The Justice League followed into Boy’s Town, the gay part of Gotham. Men cat called and whistled at Dick who smiled waved, some times spinning in a tight circle, and once shaking his ass for a group of drag queens. He walked to a small bar with a rainbow flag on one side and a leather flag on the other called “The Meathook” walking through the door like he owned the place. 

“You don’t think?” Barry said in shock. Clark’s face was hard “this has gone too far we’re ending this right now!” With the the group still invisible swooped down and through the door. The bar was totally empty. Before they could react Dick Grayson exploded from behind the bar a flash bang flying out of his hand into the middle of the group of Leaguers. A blinding flash and boom, Green Lantern lost his concentration and the Leaguers became visible and fell to the floor. Before they could react Dick Grayson was in the middle of them. Hal lifted his hand only to find his ring was gone, already on Dick’s finger. Berry moved but a cuff was around his left connect to a chain around one of the bar stools. Wonder Woman jumped forward and Dick threw a handful of bright yellow powder into her eyes. Diana twisted to the side hands over her eyes with a strangled cry. 

“Stop” Superman floated in front of Dick looking down at him sternly. “Fine, but only because Bruce never told me the combination to the Kryptonite safe. Why were you following me all night?” Superman cleared his throat and looked embarrassed “well Dick some of the League, felt, we were worried about you”

“I see and it never crossed your mind to talk to me?” 

“um well, as the adults in your life”

“Listen, Superman, I like you, but I’m only gonna say this once. You are not my dad, you’re not an ‘adult in my life’ I got one dad okay? you ain’t it. You, me? we’re co-workers, if you ever treat me as anything else you condescending boy scout ever again I’ll put you on the floor too. Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna get 5am coffee with Wally before we go to school, I’ll tell him his Uncle Berry said hi” He glared at the Flash and walked out the door and left the Leaguers slack jawed. 

Half way down the road he pulled out a cell phone and made a call “Thanks for the heads up Billy. yeah us junior heroes have to stick together or they won’t let us have any fun” 

capricornlady  asked:

Hi! I just want to ask for some tips and advise I could use to survive as I become the lowest kind of species in the hospital barely a week from now. Thank you so much in advance! God bless you! :) I hope residency works smoothly for you. :)

Alright, Here are: 

Dr. Dre’s Top 10 Tips for Excelling as a Third Year Medical Student

1. Be on time!

For Christ sake, be on time! Every time. It is the most simple thing you can do but that simple thing becomes excessively complicated when you sleep a MAXIMUM of 4 hours a night on your transplant surgery rotation. Set 10 alarms if you have to. Don’t let being late be something that shows up in your evaluation. 

2. Always say YES! (to the dress)

I don’t care if it is a rectal exam, abscess drainage, fecal disimpaction, SAY YES! Your goal should be to try at least everything once. You don’t know you don’t enjoy prostate exams until you have done 10 of them. “No” is not in your vocabulary during third year.

3. Read up on your patients.

I prefer UpToDate, which I unfortunately have no stock in. Each patient presents an opportunity for learning. Try to read in real time after you have seen the patient, if there isn’t time, read that night. Not only will it help with your shelf exams but also impress those you work with.

4. Act like the specialty you are on is the one you are going to go into.

You are on urology, pretend to be the next greatest urologist. You are on OB/GYN, you live and breathe OB/GYN. Getting into this mindset will: make you want to study more for that specialty, make residents and attendings want to show you more cool stuff and give you greater tasks, it will give you a true window into the specialty and if it is the right one for you.

5. Be upfront with your superiors “I want to do well on this rotation”

One of my best rotations, I started by telling the residents “Hey, I want to get honors on this rotation, let me know what I can do to get there.” Why be shy? What is wrong with wanting to do well. Let the residents know I wasn’t messing around. They challenged me and gave me constant feedback on my performance. Crushed it.

6. Let others know where you are going and when you will be back.

I hate hearing “Where is the medical student?” It is simple, tell the resident where you are going, how long you will be there and when you will be back. They can then tell you how to find the team when you return to prevent you aimlessly wandering the hospital halls. Or sending an annoying “Yo, where you all at?” page. I have heard from many colleagues who had evaluations read “Medical student was missing and unreliable.” Don’t let this be you.

7. If you don’t have enough to do help out with other residents patients.

On one of my easier rotations, I was so bored because my patients were not active. I wanted more to do. During rounds, I would listen to the “To Do’s” for the rest of our team’s patients and write them down. I would pick easy ones I could do quickly, Hey I can call speech language pathology for you, Oh I already looked at her urine bag, no blood.

8. Nurses can be your GREATEST asset.

Love them and respect them. They will really save your booty with your patients. They know more than you so listen to them!

9. NEVER EVER EVER ask if you can go home! 

This right is reserved for second semester 4th year medical students. instead, always ask “Is there anything else I can do for you?” I know I know, you want to get home, eat, study, sleep but this is the way it goes. Some residents are cognizant of your needs and let you go. they remember what it felt like to be in your shoes. Yet, some are just plain mean. Making me check a patient for hypocalcemia symptoms at 8pm at night!

10. HAVE SOME FUN!!!!

Ok I don’t want to be cheesy but 3rd year is a whirlwind blast. THIS is what you have been waiting for, have been working towards. Patient care here you come. You get to pretty much play doctor. None of this sitting in lecture bullspit. People are going to start calling you doctor by accident and it is going to feel SO GOOD. Be a sponge and absorb as much as you can because everything is new and exciting. Relish these moments.

Letter to A Broken Friend


So you have come to do the day when you want to quit, when there is nothing to look forward to, when you wonder why anyone ever thought they could produce anything that mattered to anyone else.


You find yourself at home, burning everything you ever wrote, reformatting your computer’s hard drive and wishing your could reformat your own, telling every friend or acquaintance who will listen to you that you are done, finished, finito, kaputt. You can’t write another word. You can’t look at another book. You don’t care anymore. You wish that you had never started this stupid dream to become a great writer. You will ask them to remind you that you’re nothing, that you can’t do this, that you’re better off working at Starbucks and living like a normal person.


And the people who love you will say, OK in a bewildered tone.


But the people who have been there will say, Yes, I hear you.

We do hear you. I won’t say we’ve all been there. Some people have faced more rejection than others. Some writers never get even a fraction of what their work deserves. Some think that a handful of rejection letters or bad reviews was all they ever got and that hard work and picking yourself up by the bootstraps was what got them through. But don’t listen to them. Listen to the people who cry a little with you, and pick you up and help brush you off, and say they’re sorry.
You don’t have to try again. Maybe you will be better off if you don’t. I’m not going to tell you you have to. People leave the business. People are happy without being writers and that’s OK. You can be done if you want.


But if that hidden, wounded part of you wants to come back someday and play again in a safe place, come write near me. I’ll keep from looking over your shoulder until you’re ready. I will keep people away from you and your newborn, stumbling steps toward trying again. I’ll put an arm around you when you say you don’t think you’re ready and you don’t think this is a good idea, and you retreat for a little while again. I will tell you how much I love what you have done before and how anxiously I am awaiting what you will do again. I will miss all the great words you will never write.


There are words only you can put together, and books only you can write. They are waiting within you, under the rubble. I see bits and pieces of them gleaming. It is a lot of work to uncover them. I can only help you tangentially, encouraging you on, but the work is yours to do, I’m afraid.
The world doesn’t know what it is missing, but I do.

Request: Not Even If You Tried

Request: Can you write one where Sam and the reader are dating and they get into an argument and Sam takes it way too far and says some super hurtful things to her and she walks away kind of shocked and crying? After a while he goes and finds her and apologizes and it ends all fluffy and stuff?

Word Count: 1,197

Enjoy, I hope this is okay!:)

“You have got to be kidding me!” He snaps, arms folded. He towers over you, his eyes staring into yours intensely.

“I’m just saying, okay?” You defend. “I miss seeing you as much.”

Hunting had put a strain on your relationship recently. You hadn’t seen as much of each other as you’d like and when you did, the stress of the job didn’t help, contributing to some pretty intense arguments.

“Like I’m not trying?” He asks you angrily.

“No, of course you’re trying! I know that!”

“You’re never here either. It seems you’d rather be hanging around with Dean.” He says.

You frown at him. “You know that’s not true, Sam!” You snap, stepping back.

“Why are you complaining then?”

“Because I miss being able to hang out with you without either being close to death or fighting like this!” You say.

“It wouldn’t be such an issue if you could keep yourself from nearly dying.” He tells you.

“What?”

“Just saying, maybe your hunting skills aren’t what they used to be. They never were anything special.” He shrugs it off like it’s nothing.

You stare at him.

“If my skills, or lack of, are an issue, then I’ll just go.”

“Can you please not be so overdramatic?” He asks, “You’re always like that at the moment. It’s really annoying,”

“You have your flaws too. Should I list a few, keep us even?” You ask venomously.

“Keep quiet. I know my flaws.”

“And I know mine, why are you reminding me?”

“Because I think I need to. You’re starting to think you’re infallible and I don’t like it.”

Again, you stare at him, “I won’t listen to you. You can’t make me do anything.”

“That stubborn attitude is the reason you got your family killed in the first place.” He hisses.

Your family is something you never, ever talk about. The first demon you ever met had had you, but you’d kept it talking long enough that youf family arrived home and were slaughtered before your eyes.

“Anything else you want to say?” You ask, your tone sarcastic now.

“Sure, if you’re offering.”

“I’m really not.”

“You get really clingy sometimes. It’s annoying as hell, like I can’t go anywhere without you.”

That’s because you were terrified that he’s get jumped by demons when he’s alone and he won’t be able to defend himself.

“Sorry I don’t want you to die.”

“I can defend myself, it’s like you don’t trust me!” He snaps.

“I trust you!” You’re feeling more and more defenceless by the second.

“You don’t act like it. In fact, you don’t act like you care at all!” He tells you.  “I know you miss your family or whatever but come on, make a little effort! It’s been four years!”

You stare at him, a frown passing your features.

“Alright. Okay. Well, if that’s what you think, then that’s fine.” You’re desperately fighting the stop the tears, and you can feel yourself starting to fail. “Just don’t come talk to me.”

You turn on your heel, blinking the tears from your vision. One escapes down your cheek and you quicken your pace to bolt to your room. The door has no lock so you push the chest of drawers in front of it, before sliding down against the wall as sobs wrack your body.

How could he say those things? He knows you panic about losing him, he knows how much you miss your family. He knows how much you hate yourself for being so selfish that you ended up getting them killed. He knows all of these things because you told him them when you were at your most vulnerable and he just turned them back on you like it was nothing!

For what seems like hours, you go through different emotions. Grief turns to anger, anger turns to hatred, which only reminds you how much you love him, sending you straight back to grief. Once you’ve cried yourself dry, you straighten out painfully. You’ve been curled up against a wall for several hours and your body has turned stiff.

As if on cue, you hear a banging on the door.

“Y/N?! Y/N, are you in there?” It’s Sam, banging again and again.

You don’t answer, not trusting your voice.

“Please, just tell me you’re okay.” He says brokenly. His voice is ragged and you can tell he’s been crying.

“I’m fine, will you leave me alone now?” You call out, and the banging stops. You hear a final thud which you presume is his forehead against the wooden door.

“If that’s what you really want. I’ll go but I won’t give up.” He says, his voice closer to the door. You can almost feel the door vibrate with the proximity. You sigh, dropping back down onto your bed.

All you want is to be safely wrapped up in his arms, but you’re still mad at him.

“Look, Y/N. Please, just hear me out.”

You don’t reply, but he keeps talking.

“I never, ever should have said those things. Please, please believe me when I tell you that I didn’t mean them, I swear. Please. I don’t mean you have to forgive me because that whole thing was totally unforgiveable. I don’t think that. Not any of it.” He’s holding back tears.

You bury your face in your hands.

“Please, Y/N. Just…just know that I love you more than anything in this world, and-and-” A horrible, strangled sound escapes his mouth. “I hate myself for hurting you. I’m so sorry.” The last words are a whisper, but you hear every one.

You pull yourself up from the bed and stumble over to the chest of drawers, where you slowly push it out of the way. It makes a horrid screeching sound as you push it.

“Y/N?!” The panicked voice of Sam comes through the door. He goes to break it down, obviously thinking you’re being attacked or something, but you open it just in time.

He takes in your tear streaked face and breathes deeply, before grabbing you and pulling you into the tightest hug you’ve ever received.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. Please, you have to…” He chokes out, and you push away from him. A look of hurt crosses his face for a moment, but you shake your head. Going up onto your tiptoes, you press your lips gently to his.

“Don’t worry about it. This whole thing is hard on all of us.” You tell him. Maybe you still feel a little mad, but hell, if that guy takes on any more guilt he’s going to explode.  

He looks at you, amazed. “You mean that? You don’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you, no matter how hard you try.”

He lets out a half laugh, pulling you close to him, enveloping you in his arms.

“Good, because I thought that was a pretty good attempt.” He says, pulling you closer as if he wants to absorb you.

“Sam…breathing…” You croak, as his hold on you is constricting your breath.

“Crap! Sorry!” He says, letting to. He presses a kiss to your forehead. “Come snuggle with me?”

“How can I say no?”

So she asks, what’s a masterpiece without some effort? What’s a poem without some honesty? I’m too blunt for my own good, it’s going to get me into some shit some day, mother always told me to be honest– I’ve been trying to see myself as more than my flaws. A masterpiece without some effort will end up smiling like me, some days all I do is try. And even with that attitude… I still manage to ruin my own day. A poem without some honesty will sound like my I love you’s, I’m always misusing these emotions to feel something, I’m always addicted to love, inject me with more kisses and I’ll be high forever– use your lips to sign me away, I’ll be loose leaf paper– you can be my favorite pen on any given day. Apparently I’ve got a thing for you, it seems we’re a bit lost nowadays– the soft wind rattles through my bones, I’m falling apart, but I’m still trying to make sense of these colors you’ve instilled into my empty– I used to fall in love with a heart ready to be loved, but that’s not the case. It seems lovers and friends are a fine shade of grey, we’re too cloudy to understand the rain, we’re too sad to feel the same. Stretch this smile into your favorite shape, sketch my heart into your next regret, stitch my soul right into your palms– my love is my love and your heart shall always be yours, all I need is your time, all I want is your time. We don’t need the strings, we don’t need the titles, we don’t need the silly entitlements, we don’t need to bullshit ourselves into a good sleep– if you’ve got me, then you’ve got me. Don’t you ever worry about that, if you’ve got me, then you’ve got me. Repetition is good for the body, repetition is good for the mind– it builds memory muscles, my heart has feelings made from gold, I will burn myself into your memories, you can be my priceless piece of art, you can have my heart. Some words still linger past the smoke, you’re just trying to understand this– I’ve got enough in me to do this right, I’ve got enough in me to see this through, I want to believe again, I want to stay hopeful, I want to love again. They say that it’s a double edged sword, but lately love to me? Love is an ocean and it likes to drown us… but sometimes it’s just a boat. Maybe a boat with holes. Maybe something like that. Slowly plugging your fingers into the void, you’re trying to not drown. Is love’s aim to destroy or create? Do the words of tomorrow defeat the words of today? Does it all go away with an I don’t love you anymore. Or I still love you, but we just can’t be together…? Love is relearning our times tables and we’re just multiplying ourselves into more heartbreaks. Or maybe love is like a wand. Whoever holds the wand creates the magic. Does one fall in love? Or does love fall into you? Throbbing heart of mine… A flower reads a poem to the bees, won’t you love me? 1. 2. 3. You’re gone again. Love is like a calendar with 13 months. 13 is bad luck. You better hope the 12 months last forever. So when you love someone does it ever stop? How do you know? What does it feel like? Does it feel like two people holding hands and then they just slide away from each other and then say “I don’t know you anymore.” Is love meant to be just a sad thing. Or is it happy? Is love a happy emotion? Is love an emotion at all? Joy. Happiness. Love conveys all emotions into one palette. And you’d like to paint with all of them, you’ll try… but you can’t. When you say I love you is it just I or just you. Somewhere between 2015 and to now… I lost a piece of myself forever. Maybe I’m finally growing into myself, maybe I’m finally starting to love myself again. You see… there’s so many fucking questions about you. Like why are you still here? What compels you to stay with me? You’re like a sweet forgotten sound of the wind chime during hurricane season, I’d love to listen to you until you’re no longer just a sound, you’re stuck to me like heartstrings to hearts or fingers to hands– if you held my hands and kissed my lips, would you promise to never let go? It’s okay if you do, we never managed anything else– poetry, art and music, those are some of the few things that I’ll never stop loving– if you wanted to know something about me– all you will ever need to do is read, all you will ever need to do is watch, and just play a light hearted tune with me, learn to smile with me, learn to have patience with me, learn to adore everything that’s wrong with me, learn to admire the pretty colors even if it’s a bad day– and I’ll do the same for you because we’re just a masterpiece that’s waiting to happen, some lovers begin with a hello, some lovers begin with a smile, some lovers begin with a glance, some lovers begin with a high, some lovers begin with a mystery, some lovers begin with an apology, but all lovers end with a goodbye– it just so happens that we began with art. I don’t want to know our ending, I think I’ll stick to the first chapter. I think I’ll draw from the art. I think I’ll spill from the ink. I think I’ll fall for you like Van Gogh trying to make his first impression of The Starry Night– you’re going to be a bit blurry until I meet you. I think I’ll fall into you like Leonardo da Vinci and when he first saw Mona Lisa’s smile– you’re going to need every bit of that curve, my favorite lullaby upon lips. I think I’ll fall with you like Salvador Dalí and when he painted The Persistence of Memory… time is but an illusion, and we’ve got plenty of it. Our past will swallow us alive, our present will be determined to tear us apart, but our future will always be a bright painting of summer seas waiting to kiss springtime flower beds. I’ve got a thing for you and it’s nothing more than art.
—  A love full of art

paiger1324  asked:

What is your go to pick-me up song? Like when you're having a bad day.

I have certain songs that I use as emergency happiness jars. I call them that because they have memories in them and when I’m sad I listen to them and they take me back to that place and I’m reminded everything will be okay, but I never ever ever listen to them unless I really need the happiness because I wouldn’t want to replace those memories with anything else. Old Ed sheeran songs like cold coffee and miss you remind me of the summer before I auditioned for X factor and it’s like when I listen to those I feel like I’m that girl again, you know? But I never open the jar unless I need it