i love mob so much please for the love of god tell me about ur feelings on 100% ecstasy
OH BOY WILL I !!! ABSOLUTELY 100% (pun unintended but warmly embraced)
out of all the 100% events, ecstasy is my favorite. the drama… the tragedy… will fiction EVER peak like this again? i don’t think so. but BEFORE I DELVE INTO ALL OF THAT, there’s something i want to talk about first: mob’s psychic powers as an expression of his emotions.
we all know that mob suppresses his emotions to avoid outbursts of psychic power. but THAT implies that mob’s psychic power is a form of self expression, in the same way that body language is expression.
he can direct his psychic powers – the same way we can direct our bodies’ actions – but there are other components that are difficult to stop, similar to how people’s shoulders tend to hunch when they’re angry or upset, how they subconsciously cross their arms and direct their feet away when something is making them uncomfortable, etc.
unless you know about these bits of body language, and make a deliberate attempt to suppress them, it’s difficult to stop your body from revealing something about your emotions. similarly, one function of mob’s psychic power is as an extension of the way he expresses himself. these things happen subconsciously and mostly without mob’s control.
for example, one of the trademarks of mob’s 100% events is that mob starts releasing waves of psychic power that push his hair back. other side effects include cracking the ground under him, often to dramatic effect.
mob doesn’t push his hair up on purpose, it’s just something that happens – as a result of him releasing his pent-up emotions in the form of psychic power. these little bits of expression aren’t something he can control.
mob also says something REALLY INTERESTING in his first 100% event:
during 100% rage mob uses his psychic powers to fight dimple, yes, but these lines suggest that his outburst of power happened because he finally had to express his anger. and that implies that, in order to show his emotions, and express himself, mob has to use his psychic powers.
which is something he almost never allows himself to do.
never forget the disdain / loathing mob had for himself at the beginning of the manga, and how convinced he was that he couldn’t allow himself to express himself OTHERWISE SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
further material to consider: the lines that he said right before his 100% animosity / hostility event
at this point, mob hasn’t taken any action against koyama yet. his outburst of psychic power, radiating outward and blanketing the area, is not doing anything but expressing his hostility – to the extent that mob expects koyama to be able to feel it.
in addition to that, during mob’s fight with toichirou, he cycles rapidly through a LOT of emotions, and this is what he says about it:
canon suggests that it’s not just a buildup of of emotions that cause his powers to run amok; allowing his powers to run amok also allows himself to feel the full intensity of his emotions. his psychic powers are key to expressing himself.
I COULD GO ON… but i’ll just leave things here for now. to summarize: mob subconsciously uses his psychic powers to express his emotions, which is why suppressing his emotions also suppresses his psychic powers.
figure 1: a helpful venn diagram of things
which brings us to the REALLY SAD, BITTERSWEET, MOURNFUL TRAGEDY THAT IS 100% ECSTASY.
the fight against toichirou is possibly the first time mob has been able to fully utilize his psychic powers. the first time he’s had to, even. all the unconscious limits he’s put on himself – not allowing his psychic power to go free, stifling his emotions and powers – all come undone.
mob is allowing himself to be himself, wholly and fully. he’s removed his inhibitions. he’s running wild and free. he’s no longer expending energy trying to regulate his psychic powers – he’s allowing himself to feel. this intensity of emotion and action is something mob has never given himself before, and the freedom of it… feels good. incredibly so. he feels free, he feels alive, and toichirou – the only individual to ever stand on a level close to mob’s – understands perfectly.
this is a level of joy mob has never felt before.
the release of his psychic power even comes hand in hand with mob’s body language becoming much freer and more expressive than it is in daily life. look at him go!! mob, for the first time in years… letting himself feel the intensity of his emotions, just as they really are.
but of course his happiness isn’t going to last
because mob wants to be a part of society, and he thinks he has to keep his psychic powers sequestered away in order to do that. his greatest fear is accidentally hurting the people he loves with his own psychic power, and when he remembers that possibility…
the tragedy of 100% ecstasy is that – for just a brief moment, mob released himself from his self-imposed limits. for a moment, he let himself really feel, he let himself be, and in that moment he experienced a richness, an intensity, a moment of being so utterly present and alive that it brought himself to heights he’d never reached before.
and mob will never willingly allow himself to do that ever again.
Am I that untrusting? Maybe I’m this way because I’m scared. Nothing
lasts in this world. It feels great to have friends who believe in you,
and adults you can rely on. That’s why it’s so dangerous, especially if
you become used to it. Someday you’re bound to lose everything. Everyone
around you will be gone. Then what are you left with? Nothing.
Nobody… It’s so miserable. And it’s inevitable. It’s so hard to
recover from something like that. I never ever want to deal with that
again. I can’t. Even if it means being alone…
Everyone’s carrying something that matters. You just don’t realize when you’re carrying it. It’s only after it slips out of your hand that you realize how heavy it was in the first place. So many times I thought that I’d never carry a load like that ever again. And yet, before I realized it, I was carrying it again. I’d feel so much better if I just got rid of it. But I just can’t bring myself to do it.
“I’m not Resistance. I’m not a hero. I’m a stormtrooper. Like all of them, I was taken from a family I’ll never know. And raised to do one thing. But my first battle, I made a choice. I wasn’t gonna kill for them. So I ran. Right into you. And you looked at me like no one ever had. I was ashamed of what I was. But I’m done with the First Order. I’m never going back.“
I’ve killed many people. Never bothered me much. That’s why I was good at it. I didn’t like them suffering, though. Took me years to figure out how to do it quickly, painlessly. But if you don’t tell me, I’m gonna forget all of that. Understand? And I’ll make the last three minutes of your life last forever.
dan and phil play keep talking and nobody explodes: a summary
hoodie!phil i am immediately enthralled and this video isn’t even a second in yet
“you da bomb of our lives”
they keep clothes fans give them which is nice shoutout to that lucky son of a gun
phil is insistent on everyone seeing speed
supportive boyf dan has his back
dan nudged phil’s arm in a bro-esque manner
they mentioned escape rooms finally i can relate as i have now been to one too
“i think we’re a lot nerdier than we think” why do they think we refer to them as nerds all the time
“rest in peace environment” / “fuck you trees”
“i’ll punch you if you look at this” going to provide no context there have fun
“DAD…. playing halo with me” nice save dan
the wholesome howell blanket is always on hand
“they’ll see if we do a single glance…”
how is dan going to go a whole extra seventeen minutes without glancing at phil i think he’s going to implode
they already did the tutorial but didn’t show us yet phil can’t remember the title of the game wow rip nerd!phil fic trope
“this is going to be a mistake”
“i can’t speak if i’m under some kind of situation” mister english degree back again
phil spinning dan around with those sweet sweet seconds of skin to skin contact (hand to arm)
also lowkey hand porn
look at his hands
the curly hair and shaved sides from the side profile makes my heart warm
sassy hand clicks from danny
five seconds in i am already stressed for them why is this already the most intense video of this game i’ve ever seen i’ve watched like six different channels play it
“there’s, there’s-” “no phil, i’m guiding you.” someone likes to take control don’t they
during the wire puzzle you can slowly watch dan get more stressy look at his pursed lips and expressive strict hand gestures
“there’s an alien man with a triangle head and he’s got a T coming out of his neck” their best friend mind meld really needs to come in handy here
i’m still really enjoying dan’s side profile i can’t get over it
“that’s you selecting the module you dork”
“guys we’re nailing this” i was going to make the obvious joke but i won’t we’re classy here
“shut up shut up SHUT UP” stressy dan is here to stay
they did one wow who says youtube gamers can’t game screw you comments
“what everyone out there is thinking now is we need you to get the manual, phil” i think dan honey you just want to be in control again i know that was hard for you
getting their last glances at each other in before they can’t for at least five minutes
opposite sides again why has this happened two videos after one another this is weird what is the post-baking video universe coming to
“this is weird. now you’re the person with the really bright face… wow it makes my hair look so much less white now that i’m here”
“it makes my hair look grey… i promise i don’t have grey hair” honey you’re thirty years old it’s going to happen inevitably sometime soon best to break us in gently
i’m hyped for side profile phil
dan quoting the marriage mantra of something old something new etc…. foreshadowing perhaps who knows with the way 2017 phan is going
phil looks so confused he’s like me facing every exam i’ve ever taken
i’ve been cheated out of side profile phil ffs dan get your hands on him and spin him around i feel attacked
“oh shit new stuff” literally everyone every few days when they upload a new gaming vid with no warning????? they know our struggle????
phil looks so focused i’m entranced
“oh god it’s hurting my brain so much”
stressy phil is a new experience but i’m digging it
dan being the little shit he is just laughs all the time
“stop freaking out!” stressy dan is still here despite having the opposite role
they did two attempts and won them both wow
they high fived yes for more skin to skin contact
phil is reeeealllly making up for lost time by shamelessly staring at dan
like seriously that was at least a solid six seconds of him staring
oh and more glances
i get it you’re in love
“kept calm under presh”
more staring seriously phil are you aware the camera is still rolling
“i hate to alarm you phil but what is your catchphrase on this gaming channel?”
*awkward silence whilst phil realises he’s being spoken to thus has to tear his gaze away*
“ALL OR NOTHING”
seriously what is with him today subtlety ain’t in his vocabulary
p h i l i get it you’re in love
oh now dan’s at it
dan just got super close to the camera and did that creepy smile he has i was unnerved
“i’m frickin terrified as diddly heck”
they’re back on their own sides balance in the universe has been destroyed do you reckon they’re as insistent about which side of the bed they sleep on
side profile dan is back welcome back old friend i missed you
i thought he dabbed for a second but it’s okay he didn’t
they’re determined as fuck but i can already see dan’s stressing
yep there’s the hurry up hand gestures
“i’m going to explode…. literally” because of the intensity or because he can’t stare at phil i don’t even know anymore u decide
dan’s eyes just got really really wide they were like bulging
“is the button yellow?” “no it’s blue i told you it’s blue!” welcome back stressy phil i hope you had a nice break
phil’s little “ooh” is so cute i want it as my ringtone
“we did it? oh christ”
stressy dan is really coming out to play in this symbols puzzle isn’t he
phil’s expressive hand gestures aka he’s beginning to panic too
dan’s doing some kind of gang sign okay boy you do you
aaaaand there’s the deafening dan scream for this video i can’t believe we lasted a whole 17 minutes and 40 seconds without one
rip headphone users it was nice knowing you
stressy dan has never been more present
phil is surprisingly calm(er)
“dan come on” all of us all the time
oooooh they couldn’t last five minutes without a quick glance at one another could they jfc get a room
they managed with three seconds to spare
phil is giggly and dan is….. well, dan
dramatic as ever my little actor that never was
phil initiates skin to skin contact again why am i not surprised anymore
“i was winding you up” dan says as he adds flames on top of himself in editing i am nodding furiously
the camera pans back out and phil’s hood is up who even is he
“we could have died!” “but we didn’t” *dan adds a halo above his head aka can’t relate*
“see if i worked in bomb disposal, i’d be cheeky like that” your colleagues would throw a bomb in bed with you
“i’d be like ooh what’s the timer steve???” the danxsteve fic coming atcha real soon
dan’s in an obnoxiously good mood now he has won a game and can freely stare at phil again
“we could be bomb disposal experts” again expect the fic coming atcha real soon
“what you just saw was two nerds that grew up playing puzzle games that have a psychic connection because they have no other friends defusing bombs” they literally said they go to escape rooms for their friends birthdays but alright i’ll take the exclusivity
they’re considering coming back in hard mode YES I NEED THIS
again i could have made the obvious joke there but i didn’t
let them know how you felt throughout that video type out long essays i dare you
“subscribe if you’re happy you didn’t explode”
“if you want to see us do that more challenging version where we might blow up… or not 'cause we’re the best… disposers ever”
“subscribe to us, have a good day, don’t explode” the best advice comes in threes
What she means:
Gotham episode 3x06, after Oswald announces in the beginning of the episode that he plans to confess his feelings to Ed, in their first interaction together in the episode they are both equally as awkward and nervous around each other. Of course we know Oswald is because he's nervous about confessing his feelings, but why Ed? For Ed, this is supposed to be a normal conversation like they always have, and he's never been nervous and awkward around Oswald before, so why now? The scene could have simply been Oswald being nervous, but instead it is not just shown but EMPHASIZED through the acting, the camera work, and the editing that Ed is not only acting the exact same way as Oswald is, but that he's disappointed and almost heartbroken when Oswald doesn't say anything. All of this together not only implies but very obviously makes it known that Ed also loves Oswald in return, yet this is never mentioned ever again in both the show and by the actors and writers. In fact, they constantly say that Ed has only felt so much as admiration and deep caring for Oswald as a friend only. So why include a scene conveying that Oswald and Ed feel mutual romantic attraction towards each other, but pretend that half of the scene didn't actually happen????
… Because there is something to be said for being young and needing someone so badly, you jump in head first without looking. And there’s something to be learned from waiting all day for a train that’s never coming. And there’s something to be proud of about moving on and realizing that real love shines golden like starlight, and doesn’t fade or spontaneously combust. Maybe I’ll write a whole album about that kind of love if I ever find it. but this album is about the other kinds of love that I’ve recently fallen in and out of. Love that was treacherous, sad, beautiful, and tragic. But most of all, this record is about love that was red.