I’ve never been here before. Never really sat on a chair to think about another person. Never was the type to fall in love and trust anyone, or even worse, never was the type to be loyal. Being faithful to me was like a waste, I thought everyone lied the way I did, so I made sure I built some walls to keep myself and my feelings away. I’ve never even cared for people to stay in my life, if you wanted to be here, then be, if not, go on. Hurting me was hard, by the time someone tried to hurt me, I’ve already had ammunition stored to crush them. Never cried for anyone, never begged anyone to stay, never chased anyone… If you want to leave, leave. That was me, only focused on me, living on a quiet peaceful bubble doing whatever I wanted, not noticing the wreck I was causing outside of it. Many times when I kind of noticed, I ignored it, shrugged it off and kept going. I don’t know when it started, what made me do it, who pushed me to that limit, all I know is, the broken hearts were all my fault, no one had to do or say anything, I wanted perfection when I was highly imperfect. I doubted everyone because I thought they were all like me. Then, you happened, and when I thought I could never change, I did. I cry if I feel you’re leaving, I miss you when you’re not around, I stare at your picture and smile, I think of you, I don’t even look at anyone else anymore, I’d given up my old self to build a new us, and although I’m a mess, this mess wants you to stay and help me fix it, sometimes I don’t even know how I hurt you, I just know I do. I’m sorry, please forgive me. I don’t deserve you, but I can’t be without you.