never before have i felt so awful for laughing at something

How do I forget?
Our first date when I felt something I never had before.
The first time you said that you loved me.
Carving our pumpkins that turned out awful.
You holding me when I was sad.
When I cried because I loved you so much.
When you told me I was the love of your life.
When we laughed so hard we cried.
How my stomach sank when you told me you didn’t love me anymore.
How I watched you crying as you told me.
How I cried for 4 hours straight and gave myself a pounding head ache.
How I miss you so so much.
How the pain in my chest was too much to handle.
How all I want to do is sleep but my mind won’t let me.
How when I found the old note you wrote me and trashed my room screaming you were a liar.
I have all these memories that are driving me crazy and I don’t know what to do with them.
—  Chapters from my life