Why should I think of you when you never think of me? Why should I care about what you feel when you never care about what I feel? Why should I build my future around you when you never build yours around me? Really, why should I stay with you when you never ask me to, when you never give me a reason to?
Darling, it isn’t about the things you do that drives me away from you, it’s about the things you didn’t do.
cynthia go // Bitter Truths // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #26
Request: Hey can you do where the reader and Kai are broken up and they get back together and use numbers 54,59,66
Prompts: “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. That’s the problem.” “Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.” “The only thing I want is you.”
Imagine~ you and Kai break up but you both still love each other and one day you bump into each other whilst staying at the Salvatore home.
It’d been roughly a week since you and Kai broke up and you were a wreck. Stefan hated the fact you were home alone dealing with it all so he invited you to stay with him and Damon until you were back to normal.
You still loved Kai, deeply but he didn’t seem to return the feelings and overtime the relationship grew toxic. He was constantly out late, presumably with other girls, yet every time you forgave him.
You were the one who ended the relationship, for your own good. Kai begged you not too, saying how he’ll change but you didn’t want to risk getting hurt again.
Everyone hated Kai even more when they found out how he treated you. But he would still be invited into the house if they needed something and every time Stefan would make sure you were nowhere to be seen.
Bonnie was the most angry, seeing as she also had a bad past involving Kai. You’d convinced he Kai was good for you at first and she believed you but now she despised Kai claiming she knew he wasn’t good for you all along.
It was about mid-afternoon and you were still roaming around in your pajamas. Stefan had warned you to stay out of sight because Kai was round but you grew hungry and took your chances.
Kai was in the front room anyways so the possibility of him seeing you was slim, especially if Stefan and Damon had anything to do with it.
You silently entered the kitchen, everything going smoothly to the point where you couldn’t even hear Kai.
As you reached for an apple of the counter you breathed a sigh of relief when you realized you got some food without Kai seeing you.
Or so you’d thought.
“Y/N?”, your head snapped around, nearly chocking on your apple, to see Kai standing in the door way.
Every thing about him seemed so off, the bags under his eyes, the messy hair, the overgrown scruff and his blood shot eyes. You could’ve sworn your heart stopped.
In some ways you were happy to see him like this, knowing he was suffering just as much as you were; if not more. But it also hurt you, you’d never liked seeing Kai in these kind of states and it pained you more to know you’d inflicted it.
“Kai.” you breathed, desperately trying to keep yourself together.
“Look, I know you hate me,” Kai started but you interrupted him before he could finish.
“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. That’s the problem.” you said lowly, it hurt to think he thought you hated him. But after a week of not speaking to him and leaving him to suffer you can understand why.
Kai breathed out shakily and you could tell he was trying not to break down, “If you don’t hate me, why did you end it?”
Your breath hitched in your throat and it took you a moment to speak, “Because it was toxic. I don’t hate you Kai, I hated our relationship.”
When you said those words you could see Kai’s eyes fill with pain at the thought of you hating to be with him.
“I said I’d change.” he breathed in hopes that it would help the situation.
“Even if you did Kai, it was too late. It wasn’t just you anymore, it was me. I couldn’t be with somebody I didn’t trust 100%.” you sighed, wiping the tears from your eyes before they could fall.
Everything within you wanted to be with Kai and you knew that but you also weren’t sure if you could trust him again. Or at least trust him as much as you used to.
“Please just give me a chance.” he said, tears pooling in his eyes. “I don’t know if I can do this right now.” you sighed, feeling as if you were on the edge of a mental breakdown.
In reality you didn’t want him to leave because if he did you might never see him again. But if you did this right now you weren’t sure if you could make it out the other side.
“Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.” he said, slowly walking towards you whilst you desperately tried to avoid eye contact.
Tears began to spill out of your eyes and you quickly wiped them away, tugging at your hair in frustration.
“Kai, I don’t know what to do right now. I want to stay with you, so bad. But I don’t know if I can trust you, not after how everything went last time around.” you said slowly, taking your time on every word.
To Kai, every word dug into him like a dagger. It pained him to know how much he’d hurt you and he’d never thought about whenever he was dishonest with you.
“Let me earn your trust, I understand you don’t trust me but I need you. You make me a better person and without you I know I’m going to go off the deep end. Please Y/N.” he breathed, his voice shaking heavily.
“One chance.” you stated, looking up at him.
He closed his eyes slowly before opening them, making eye contact with you which made your heart pound.
“One chance.” he said, confirming your previous statement.
“No other girls, not dishonesty, just us. Only us.” you sighed, looking at him.
In all honesty, you couldn’t understand why you were doing this but you knew deep down that you needed to so you did.
“The only thing I want is you.” he said, engulfing you into an embrace.
You melted into him, letting your arm fall loosely around him as he hugged you tightly.
(a/n) this could’ve been longer but it’s 11pm and I have to be up at 7 tomorrow :) but anyways I hope you enjoy this because it was really fun to write xx
Pairing: Dean x Reader Word Count: 1082 Request: @iwantthedean - Congrats on 300, Bailey!! That’s fantastic!! Is it okay if I request? I’d like to request Dean and 13, if ya don’t mind. Congrats again!! Prompt: ‘Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.’
A/N - I hope you like it Nicole.
The door bell rang and you instantly froze. Nobody came to see you, and when they did, they made sure to call you to reduce the number of surprises on your account. Not a moment too soon and the ringing resounded through your house at a much faster pace. Obviously the person on the other side was relentless.
“Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.”
Overwatch was in chaos. Talon agents had initiated an attack on the active heroes in an attempt to take them down and destroy everything Winston was trying to rebuild. The battle had been ongoing for a few days now, neither side making a clear enough victory to end the conflict.
Since the fight had begun and she had been thrown into the battle with her friends, Hana had been forced to push aside her feelings for Sombra - a hacker working for Talon; no matter how hard it was for her to accept, Hana knew the time had come for her to remember that she was the enemy.
Before the war between factions had broken out, Hana had been seeing the older girl in secret. She had always enjoyed the thrill of meeting at stupid hours in the middle of the night, of sneaking out when her friends weren’t paying attention…of fantasizing about falling in love with an enemy and how romantic it was. Now Hana understood she had been living in a selfish, childish dream, allowing her feelings for the hacker to cloud her better judgement.
This is about the soft awakenings,
the brave realisations, the happening miracles.
This is about loss,
and what you find after.
This is about how the sun loved the moon so much
she’d let her shine even in the day.
This is no longer listening to the room of echoes,
of finally letting go,
of getting to know lightness.
This is the swallows singing the sky home.
This is about the way you look at me
when you’re drunk. Like
I’m a miracle. Like
maybe this is all enough for us.
And this is laughter claiming home
in our mouths.
This is about the words you say
when you think I’m not listening.
And these are the battles that have left us defeated,
the wars we’ve won, and
the bloodshed that keeps on coming.
This is slipping through forever
and catching the moments as we fall.
This is what happens after.
The days of barely making it.
This is setting yourself on fire
to burn through the darkness,
to get to the other side.
This is searching for something, anything.
This is walking through your ghosts and
finding pieces of yourself everywhere.
This is building yourself a home and having
every wall leaning a little bit to the left
because your hands couldn’t stop shaking.
This is standing at the edge
of some unknown
with a gentle tremble in your chest.
This is it.
This is it.
This is it.
59. “Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.”
80. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”
A knock at your apartment door caused you to force yourself up off the sofa, where you had lain almost exclusively for the past few days. Your eyes were still a little red rimmed from crying, and your hair was piled into a messy bun on top of your head. Reluctantly, you opened the door, and instantly slammed it shut again when you saw who was outside. Well, you would have slammed it shut if Kol hadn’t wedged his foot in the doorway. “Nice try, sweetheart. Do you really think you can get rid of me that easily?” He was joking with you, but his voice didn’t have its usual light heartedness.
“You broke up with me, remember,” you snapped. Though similarly to Kol, you voice had also lost its usual fight. “Now get out.” “Please, Y/N. Let me in. I want to talk to you,” he pleaded.
You sighed deeply, but after a few seconds you opened the door enough to allow him into the apartment. “Start talking,” you demanded.
Kol fiddled with his hands, gazed on the floor. You didn’t think you had ever seen him this nervous. For what felt like forever, he was silent, the only sound each of your breathing. “You’ve got 10 seconds before I’m throwing you out of here, vampire or not. Talk.” You didn’t have the energy to be messed about by Kol, yet again. He had caused you far too much heartbreak and pain.
“I’m sorry,” he began, before there was another long silence.
“I suppose that’s a start,” you replied, voice barely audible. Kol took a step closer to you, reaching for your hand. “Don’t touch me,” you snarled. His face fell, as if he was realising for the first time how much he had hurt you. He looked up into your face, really looked, and noticed your tear stained eyes.
“I was an arse, and I’m so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this. I was trying to do the opposite, Y/N. I didn’t want you to get hurt, and being involved with my family, people get hurt. But I miss you. I miss you so much, and I was stupid to think you didn’t know the risks. You can make that decision for yourself.
Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.”
You took a deep breath to steady yourself. “Why didn’t you just tell me this in the first place? Instead of just breaking up with me? Do you know how long I’ve spent trying to work out what I did wrong, what I could have possibly done to make you hate me?” Your voice cracked and you turned away from him for a moment to pull yourself together. Kol lifted a hand to rest gently on your shoulder and turn you back to him, and this time you didn’t push him away.
“Because I’m in love with you,” he whispered. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you? I would have done anything to keep you safe.”
“Being safe isn’t always the most important thing Kol.” “I know. But if you’ll give me a second chance?” You smiled finally, pushing back the tears. “How could I not?” Kol beamed and pulled you into a massive hug, resting his head on your shoulder. “I love you too,” you murmured into his chest, making his smile even wider.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader Word Count: 1321 Request: @winterboobaer - Hey, I saw your post about the follower celebration. Congratulations 🍾🎊🎉 I love your writing and I hope that more people will follow you to read your amazing stories ❤️💞 Could I request number 13 with Bucky (romantic) please? Have a nice day :) Prompts: 13) ‘Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.’
A/N - This is angsty. Tell me what you think… Lyrics are from Shawn Mendes -Mercy.
The bell above the door to your bakery chimes, you await your next customer to join the end of the queue, their hands trail against the case of pastries and then moves onto your showcase display. His cap is pulled low as he keeps his head down, that much you know. His eyes take in and soak up the new goodies that have been added since the last time he was in here, a few years ago maybe. He still remembers it. He still remembers this place. He still remembers his favourite waitress that served him the same thing he ordered. Every. Damn. Time. He can only imagine the pain he had caused.
This is my last letter to you. I wrote you so many letters last year begging you to ask me to stay. I understand you never felt the same way so I left. But I miss you and it will always kill me a little inside that I chose to let you be happy and I still haven’t found a way to do that myself.
Prompt: “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. That’s the problem.” & “Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.”
Requested by: Anonymous
“You can’t keep doing this.”
You watched as Spencer looked at you with scrutiny as he attempted to read your body language. You sat back in your chair, your body slightly slumped the way it usually was whenever you were either tired or in comfort, your eyes looking out of the small coffee shop with mild interest in the people who passed by. Nothing to show that you were distraught or even mildly upset.
“You can’t keep breaking up with me and then intentionally running into me at places you know I’ll be,” you continued as you gave him a knowing look. He held your gaze as your eyes dared him to say it wasn’t true.
“And you certainly can’t keep asking for me when you know damn well you’ll leave again,” you said with a sincere laugh.
“You hate me,” Spencer concluded. Your lack of resentment in your voice and at his actions only convinced him that you had finally come to terms with his constant leaving. He had grown so accustomed to your emotions portraying themselves so plainly on your face that this newfound calmness unsettled him. The only explanation he could think of was the one that pointed towards you finally getting over him.
“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. That’s the problem.” You said with a small amused grin, causing his eyebrows to knit together in confusion.
“I still love you. If you don’t think my heart still skips a beat when you walk in here, you’re wrong,” you confessed. “But I’ve learned to hide that. It’s a useful thing to learn when dating a profiler. Gives one a sense of privacy.”
You chuckled as Spencer opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say. After two years of a constant on and off relationship due to his fear of you getting hurt, of getting caught in the crossfire just as many of his team’s spouses had, he was faced with a choice.
Except this time was different. You didn’t seem to be eager to run back into his arms as you had always been. No, you had turned the tables on him, and for the first time that morning Spencer realized that it wasn’t his choice at all. It was yours.
“Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.”
You raised an eyebrow at his vow, having never heard him promise such a thing. Spencer was always a man of his word and because of that he had never promised you much before. He never raised expectations, never said things he didn’t mean. He was a man of truth, and the thought of him staying was enough to spark a small sense of hope in you.
“It’s not okay to make promises you won’t keep, Spence,” you replied with a small smile as you tested him. “If you would have asked me before, hell, if you would have asked me last week I would have said yes. But I’ve come to accept that your job is your priority babe. Nothing wrong with that.”
You patted his hand softly as he frowned.
“It’s not my priority,” he argued as he recalled the countless nights he went to sleep alone wishing for nothing more than to have you beside him. He always convinced himself that he had made the right choice in leaving you. That he was protecting you that way. But that conviction would melt away by the morning and he would always seek you out. It was a vicious cycle that had lasted for much too long.
“I want things, Spence. I want to get married, buy a house with a white picket fence, have children,” you said with a small smile. Spencer momentarily pictured his life- waking up next to you every morning, chasing after twins that had the exact same dimples he did and kissing you every day before heading off to work. It was an idea he welcomed whole-heartedly.
“I can do that,” Spencer replied eagerly. “I’m ready, Y/N.”
It was your turn to stare at him now. He was seated upright, his shoulders back in a way that let you know he was restraining himself from leaning in closer to you. His eyes were fixed on your face as he attempted to understand what was going through your mind at the moment- how you would respond to his words. A mix of worry and excitement swirled in his hazel eyes that caused your stomach to fill with butterflies at the idea of him finally settling down.
“Stay,” you replied with a firm nod. He let out a breath of relief he hadn’t realized he had been holding as a broad smile took ownership of his features.
“I promise I won’t leave. I’m going to marry you. We’ll have your dream house that you’ve always wanted and a bunch of miniature Spencers and Y/N’s running around. It’s what I want.”
Spencer’s excitement as he depicted what your life would be like was enough to bring you out of your cool exterior and he found himself grinning as you leaned in closer, eager to hear what dreams he had. His hands instinctively reached for yours.
“And we’ll spend the nights around a fireplace and I’ll read them Hemingway until they get bored and beg for you to tell them bedtime stories about dragons and princesses instead,” he continued.
You listened intently, clutching his hand tightly as he rambled on about how the kids would be geniuses like himself but if they weren’t that would be okay because he would love them all the same. And how you would get a dog and name it Edgar after Edgar Allan Poe but he would be a sweet one who would watch over the children as they played. And then he spoke of how he would make love to you every night after you had tucked the kids into bed and it was time for the parents to enjoy themselves. Your eyes widened and he laughed at your reaction, admitting that he wouldn’t ever want to keep his hands off of you now that he had you back. That he would never let go again.
I miss you so much, things keep happening and I keep finding myself wanting to tell you about it.
I just wanted to call you, I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for leaving but staying with you ripped my heart into pieces but I guess you don’t really care because you never asked me to stay.
and I am constantly reminding myself that everything we had was not real and that it was all in my head, I am constantly telling myself you don’t care, you don’t care, so I can stop myself from missing you but I still do.
And thats the thing, just because someone is bad for you doesn’t make it hurt any less when their gone.
I just wish you meant every word that you said and I wish you kept your promise of staying but thats the thing, everyone fucking leaves. promise or no promise, everyone leaves.
Could you write something to this “Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again” with fem!reader x Lexa from The 100? ~Anon
Can you write an imagine where the reader is Clarke’s younger sister and Lexa falls in love with you and not Clarke? Please and thank you ~ @may-we-fangirl-again’s anon
Trigger Warnings: Swearing, mentions of blood, reader gets slightly injured.
Word Count: 4,309
A/n: I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!! I got in a accident and was washed with a wave of depression. I wan’t motivated to do anything. Anyways, it’s pretty freaking long, so I hope you enjoy. I really am sorry with how long it took. And the ending kinda really sucks but I didn’t know how to finish it.
“Y/n,” Clarke spoke as she walked up to me. Her blonde bangs were twisted back and pinned. Keeping both hair out of her face, and framing the rest of her wavy hair. The normal sky blue colour of her eyes were clouded from the stress of Mount Weather. But, even then, they were glowing against her smooth sun kissed skin.
“What’s up Clarke?” I looked up at her from the log I was sitting on.
“I want you to be my second,” she voiced with wavering confidence.
All I could do was slowly blink at her. She wants me to be her second? My heart started to race as suspicion crept through me. Does she know about my crush on the Commander, and is just playing a trick on me? No, Clarke is far too serious nowadays to do that. Right?
OKay so I did some digging on my blog AND NOW I TOTALLY REMEMBER WHEN I STARTED FOLLOWING YOU. Someone had reblogged your first fanfic (and I read it and loved it) So I decided to check out your blog and ended up following because ART. ❤👌 (I CAN say that I've liked and commented on some of your posts 😉) AND I'VE PROBABLY GIVEN TOO MUCH AWAY SO IF YOU DO FIND ME, HIIIIII. 🙈
I’M TRYING SO HARD OVER HERE Oh my god my first fanfic is not a loong while ago but heck way longer than I thought I’m !!! Ok you commented in some of my posts that’s a very good tip I’m…I’m thinking I won’t be able to sleep until I have new suspects 😩😩
59. “Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.”
61. “I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married.”
66. “The only thing I want is you.”
Elijah x Reader
You stood in front of the mirror, heart pounding as you fiddled with a strand of your hair, in an attempt to keep yourself occupied. Your snow white dress was stunning, that was undeniable, and you looked almost perfect. It was your wedding day, and you were terrified. You stood alone in your bedroom, adding the finishing touches before you left to get married.
“You look beautiful,” said a voice softly from the doorway. You turned to look, jumping a little at the sudden intrusion.
“Elijah,” you whispered. “What are you doing here?” You hadn’t seen the original vampire in decades, and had almost begun to think that you had moved on, that you could be happy without him in your life. “You can’t be here, not now. I’m getting married.” “I know, that’s why I’m here. I came to wish you well, I suppose,” he responded, stepping into the room slowly, giving you a chance to throw him out.
“Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever, you can’t just turn up like this!” Your voice broke on the last syllable; you were already stressed out and this wasn’t helping. You couldn’t cope with this, not on top of everything already going on.
“Shh, darling, calm down,” he murmured soothingly, stepping closer to rest a hand lightly on your shoulder.
“I’m not uncalm,” you snapped at him, shrugging off his hand. “Where have you been?” you repeated.
He sighed and looked at the floor, avoiding your gaze. “I’ve missed you, Y/N,” he murmured.
“You’ve missed me?? You’re the one who upped and left, how do you think I felt?” Your voice was rising in volume, clearly angry with Elijah.
“I’m sorry, I truly am. It was… a family matter,” he said, in a tone that said this matter wasn’t to be discussed. “Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.”
You raised your hands to your face, hiding behind them for a moment as you took a deep breath. “You can’t just spring this on me, not now. Not after I’ve spent years wondering if you’re okay, if you’re even alive. It isn’t fair,” you replied in a more even tone.
“I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married.”
Your jaw dropped and you simply stared at him in amazement, before sinking into a chair. Your gaze moved to the floor, and you were silent for a few moments. “How do I know you won’t just abandon me again, and disappear like last time? You can’t ask this of me.”
“I won’t. I promise. The only thing I want is you. Please, I need to know if you still feel for me Y/N, if you feel for me at all then please don’t go through with this. If you don’t, if all is lost, then I will leave you to enjoy your life in peace.”
You raised your eyes to meet his intense gaze, opening your mouth to speak before shutting it again, closing your eyes as you tried to think. “I…”
59. “Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay, I will never leave you again.”
That was the only thing Nesta let herself think while she laid in bed, tangled within the sheets, her hair matted and greasy, and her face oily and overall plain disgusting. It’d been the third day she hadn’t left from where she lay curled, contemplating how exactly her life had ended up where it had.
It wad the first time in three days that Nesta began facing the truth: Cassian was her mate.
She’d suspected previously it had already snapped into place for him, and ignored it purely, out of sheet will, hoping it wasn’t true. Cassian was displeasing. Annoying. Too egotistical for his own good.
And now the most sacred bond ever to be known officially linked the pair together.
She knew she definitely had feelings for him. She knew there was something there. But it definitely wasn’t enough to warrant a mating bond! Feelings come and go. For all she knew, tomorrow she may be interested in… Azriel. She snorted. Not likely. He was too in love with Mor for his own good. At least they’d finally done something about it.
It seemed that everyone around them were either mated or in a relationship. Except for Amren, of course, yet she was clear the she wasn’t interested in anyone but herself. Nesta saw all the gifts and jewelry in her apartment from the Summer court, though. No one could lie to Nesta without her seeing the truth.
A soft knock interupted her thoughts and Cassian’s head poked in.
She almost winced.
“Can I come in?” He spoke softly, not the tone he used around the others in order to prove his inexistant “swagger”.
She debated if for a moment then nodded. One thing Nesta definitely wasn’t afraid of was confrontation, but for some reason, she’d needed to push off this conversation until now to gather her thoughts.
Cassian closed the door bhind him and crept up beside her onto the bed, angling his wings for comfort. She didn’t mind him being in her bed. Not like he hadn’t been here a few times before.
They had slept together, no doubt. Even Nesta couldn’t deny that it was quite enjoyable.
After a few moments of silence, Cassian murmured, “I know the bond snapped into place for you. I felt it.”
Nesta stared at her toes peeking from under the covers and nodded. She was thankful he gave her the space she needed.
And then Nesta did the thing she notoriously hated. She began to cry.
She’d cried very few times in her life. Yet now, she didn’t care if her mask slipped. She was genuinely confused, lost and depressed. She was at a loss for words and desperately needed answers.
“Well that’s not the expected reaction,” he muttered, yet nonetheless slid his arm around Nesta’s shoulders and hugged her to his side.
After a few moments, Nesta whispered, “It’s too soon. I don’t know if I can spend the rest of eternity. I don’t even love you.” She wasn’t afraid to admit it. There was no use dancing around the truth.
Cassian heaved out a sigh. “Nesta, what you need to understand is that the mating bond isn’t the same for everyone.” She tilted her head up to meet his eyes. “For some, the connection is instant. They fall in love easily. They live a happy life. For others, it’s just not as simple. Some people are mated and they despise each other! It doesn’t always start off on the right track. It’s just the Mother’s way of nudging you toward someone you’re truly meant to be with.
"But I will tell you one thing, Nesta. Just say the word, and I’m gone from your life. If the feeling truly isn’t mutual and you despise me and you seriously can’t see in your heart that you could someday love me, then I’ll back off.” Tears gathered in his eyes just as more poured onto my cheeks.
“Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay, I will never leave you again.”
She clutched his chest, and right then, she could imagine it: a future. With him.
It was a seed of hope inside her, promising that this man beside her was far from what she originally assumed of him, and that she knew maybe someday, she could love him. Not today, but definitely someday.
But here I was, thinking that the writing on the walls was going to save me. It didn’t. Nothing was going to come and save me at this point, and I’m sorry about that. All this time I was broken. I told you I was, but I knew you would never believe me. No one ever did. All the same, I am so glad I met you. You made it hard to be broken. I wanted to be whole again. Maybe I was too far gone, or maybe I never really tried. It’s not your fault. I know you love me. Love me enough to never ask me to stay.