I saw you walking down the hallway and my heart instantly started racing. My palms got sweaty as we made eye contact. My breath hitched as I saw your tall frame walking on the opposite side of me. You make me nervous every time I see you.
I can feel it in my chest. 40 hands gripping tight squeezing. I can’t breath. I can’t eat. My heart rate is twice its normal beat. My body thinks it just ran a marathon; my mind knows better. I feel sick to my stomach. My palms are sweaty.
And nothing is going on. I’m sitting in a room full of people, and they have no idea I live in a constant panic attack.
This journey has taught me a lot. I have a far greater respect for the biology of the body, the brain and the nervous system after my experience. The grieving process that followed the separation was like a book you read through, chapter by chapter.