nerd slap

tips for the new year

stop arguing extensively with people online as a hobby:

  • its boring and isolating
  • its a cheap way to get a short burst of self esteem in something thats not actually fun or encourages your own growth
  • the likelihood that you, a complete stranger, will change someone’s mind if you just tweet at them enough is close to zero
  • you should take time to think seriously about how you want to engage with the world and develop your opinions based on varied, new experiences
  • if you ignore shitty people it makes them go so ballistic they meltdown spectacularly, pretty much every time without fail
  • no one is impressed by your internet text victory. in the rare cases where someone is, its impressive for the 3 seconds it took to read the tweet
  • when i have to scroll past your 120000 word nerd slap fight it mildly inconveniences me
  • just play a video game

summerkid423  asked:

Idk if head canons count as requests or not but, could I have a head canons for a Micheal x reader where they have an 18s retro movie marathon!! Like watching The Princes Bride, Pretty In Pink, The Breakfast Club, and all those great movies!!!

- Every Friday night, you and Michael get together for an 80’s movie night. You watch a different movie every week.

- Michael’s more of a 90’s guy, but your dad raised you on 80’s music and movies, so it’s your turn to educate him.

- You start with a classic, Back To The Future. Luckily, Michael has already seen this one, so you both enjoy it together.

- He keeps telling you to shut up with your commentary, but you can’t help it that you’re a goldmine of 80’s trivia.

- The next week you watch The Princess Bride together, which Michael hasn’t seen. You felt personally offended that he hadn’t seen it, but he reminded you that not everyone was raised an 80’s nerd.

- You slapped him for that comment.

-He ends up laughing so hard he cries, and you feel proud that you introduce your best friend to such a beautiful movie.

- The next movie is The Breakfast Club which, once again, Michael hasn’t seen. You start to question your friendship with him, because HOW HAS HE NOT SEEN THESE MOVIES?

- Michael tells you he’s not really a big fan of The Breakfast Club, which hurts you more than anything you’ve ever experienced.

- “But Y/N, you’ve gotta hear me out.” “La la la, I can’t hear you over the sound of BETRAYAL!”

- Then you put on The Princess Bride again, and all is forgiven and forgotten.

- Your next movie is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Michael says that this is his favourite movie you’ve showed him.

- (Lucky for you that it’s one of your favourites, second only to The Princess Bride.)

- You always spend the night at Michael’s after you finish the movie, and there is almost always cuddling involved.

- You can’t help it. Michael is incredibly squishy and warm, and you may have a teeny (HUGE) crush on him.

- Michael (not so) secretly loves the post movie cuddle sessions, and eventually you both end up confessing your feelings to each other at one of the movie nights.

“Hmmm, Human History sure is interesting.”

anonymous asked:

I think out of all the Pokemon npcs I see the most fanart of hex maniac.

Thats cause huge nerds are thirsty AS FUCK for manic goth ass. If you want to make a nerd waifu just slap some black hair and an antisocial but quirky/cute attitude on some skinny waif and they’ll make monuments in her name.

My evidence is: bayonetta, hex maniac, tsuyu asui, stocking, raven and tomoko from watamote

It’s a beautiful thing.

Thanks to everyone that came out for sticker nerds! Today (3/31) you can come by the show at 5 and purchase panels from the walls, tvs, and other objects. All money will be put into putting on more shows.

Prompt #10 high school popular kid/nerd AU

A hand slapped down on her desk jolting her awake.

Mr. Weselton AKA the Weasel glared down at her over his giant mustache.  

“Since you seem to be so enraptured with my lesson Miss Stone, why don’t you tell the class the answer.” He humphed.

“Uh, What is, Abraham Lincoln?”  She grinned. The class burst into roaring laughter and the weasels eyes narrowed unamused.

“That might work in history, Miss Stone, but this is biology if you’ve forgotten. Pay attention.” He spun on heel and stomped back to the front of the class.

Anna sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day as she slumped back down over the desk, beanie sitting skewed atop her head from sleeping in class. Her black t-shirt with “Dark Souls” printed across the front was a little wrinkled as well, she pulled at the sleeves of her undershirt.

“Now, before the bell rings releasing you all for the weekend, I have an assignment for you.” Groans filled the room. The weasel glared.

“This will be a partner project.” The groans stopped. “I will be picking them” The groans returned “I want a poster board detailing one of the processes we’ve covered this week. Now, as for partners.” He began down the list of students.

“Elsa Arendelle and Anna Stone…good luck, Miss Arendelle…” He said. Anna stuck her tongue out at him when he looked elsewhere, before glancing over across the room as one of the most popular and beautiful girls in school. The captain of the volleyball team as well.

Elsa Arendelle was, Anna believed, A Norwegian goddess. She had to be. Her skin was pale and flawless as ivory, hair the color of opaque moonlight fell in a long braid over her shoulder and her eyes were the bluest Anna had ever seen.

The same blues were looking at her right now. Full red lips pulled into a smile and she wiggled her fingers at the redhead in a wave. Anna waved back dumbly.

“Due Monday!” The Weasel called out over the bell as it began to ring and people began to file out or grab their partners. Anna threw her head back and groaned, beanie falling off her copper haired head.

So much for that weekend long video game marathon with Kristoff and Sven.  A quiet giggle made her jolt up. Elsa was standing next to her desk, holding out her beanie.

“You dropped this.” Anna took it, cheeks pinking.

‘Thanks…” She mumbled quietly. The platinum blond clasped her hands in front of her.

“Are you free to work on the project tonight? If we can finish it tonight we won’t have to work on it this weekend.” She asked.

“uh…yeah. Yeah I’m free.”  She nodded and a wide smile broke out across the blondes face and she pulled out a pen and took Anna’s palm and wrote an address across it.

“5 sound okay?” Anna nodded dumbly and Elsa wiggled her fingers before turning and walking out of the classroom. Anna’s eyes glued to the swing of her hips. That would be distracting.


Anna pulled off her helmet and glanced at the address on the house she had pulled up in front of then glanced at her palm.

This was it. Elsa’s house. She kicked down the stand of the motorbike and hopped off, helmet under her arm as she walked up the front steps and knocked. She scuffed her bright green chucks against the cement as she waited.

“Coming!” called out somewhere behind the door. A moment later the door opened and Elsa was standing before her in some low rise jeans and baby blue tank top. Anna bit her tongue to stop the salivating.

“Hi Anna…Is that your bike?” She asked surprised. Anna looked over her shoulder as if expecting another motorcycle to be sitting by the curb.

“Oh, uh yea.”  She shrugged. Elsa looked impressed.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Come in.” She stepped aside allowing the redhead in.

“Thanks.”  She followed Elsa into the kitchen, setting her helmet down and shrugging off her bag.

It was awkward for Anna at first, but she quickly found how easy it was to make the blonde laugh, and it was addicting.

When Elsa offered to order Pizza the redhead couldn’t say no. Between stuffing her face with pizza and doing her damnedest to make the blonde smile it took far longer to complete the assignment then she’d thought.

It was no later than 9 when Anna pulled on her backpack and grabbed her helmet.

“Since you can’t I’ll keep the poster and bring it to school on Monday.”  Elsa stood out on the porch with her.

“Cool. Sounds fine to me.”  She smiled.

“This was fun, despite being an assignment. Maybe we could do it again sometime?” The blonde laid a hand on Anna’s forearm. She was close. Close enough Anna could smell her perfume. She would never be sure what came over her, but it took a strong hold and before she knew what she was doing she haid kissed the blondes cheek.

Her lips hadn’t even left the other girls face before a tidal wave of self-loathing washed over Anna. Even more so when she leaned back to see the surprise across Elsa’s face. Her face burned as red as her hair.

“I.. I’m Sorry!” She turned and jumped off the porch running to her bike, throwing on her helmet and kickstarting it before peeling away, not daring to look back, unable to hear Elsa calling after her or see the blonde run out into the street after her.


 Kristoff called her Saturday but she said she didn’t feel well and would have to cancel their game plans after all.  She spent the entire weekend beating herself up over the kiss.  She laid across her bed starring up at the ceiling.

“I am so stupid…” She sighed.

When Monday came Anna slunk around the school like a secret agent. They would all graduate in a few months. She just had to lay low till then, luckily she only shared one class with Elsa. Biology and it was the last class of the day.

Rather than sit in the back as she was wont to do she sat in the very front, closest to the door. She didn’t want the blonde to trap her in the back of the room, but now she also had to stay awake.

When Elsa walked into the room she made an immediate line for Anna who hunkered down, shoulders around her ears. Within a few feet the tardy bell rang and the Weasel was ushering everyone into a seat. Luckily all the seats near her were full and Elsa was half way across the room, but she could feel those beautiful blue eyes piercing her.

Anna didn’t dare look up.

The moment class ended Anna bolted from her seat, running down the hall, this time she was well aware of Elsa calling after her but she didn’t stop till she was in front of her locker, she fiddled with the lock trying to open it quickly and retrieve her helmet. Once she had it she had to go back the way she came.

She peaked around the corner and stopped.

Elsa was backed up against the lockers. The captain of the baseball team leaning over her, Hans Westerguard.

“Please Elsa. I promise you’ll have a good time.” He smiled charmingly. Elsa sneered.

“I told you no. I’m not interested.” She moved to leave but he boxed her in with his arms.

“Come on, just” He didn’t get to finish what was most likely a tired and pathetic attempt to charm.

“Leave her alone.” Hans glanced at the frowning redhead over his shoulder. Elsa glanced around him.

“Anna.” She said it quietly.

“Mind your own business, Stone. The other nerds are probably looking for you.” He turned back to Elsa. That was his first second and third mistake.  Not letting the blonde go, turning his back on her and calling her a nerd.

“I’m a geek, you fuck head!” She slammed her helmet into his side. Hans reeled back wheezing, glaring up at her. “And I said leave her alone!” She snarled.  The students in the hall all stopped, loud muttering started.

Hans leapt forward, slamming his fist into her face. Anna’s head whipped back and she could immediately taste the blood, trailing down her face from her nose.   

With a strangled roar she tackled him to the ground. Students hollered and cheered as they two wailed on each other.

“Teacher!” Someone screamed and immediately the two separated. And everyone made a break for it. They shared one more fiery glare before turning, Anna pleased as punch at the blood dribbling down the auburn boys chin.

Anna grabbed her helmet off the ground and ran, not stopping until she was across the street from the school hidden behind some trees where her bike was parked.

Anna sighed and looked down at herself. The front of her white t-shirt was stained scarlet all the way down to her stomach and her nose was still bleeding. No doubt she’d left a puddle in the hall.

A hand landed on her arm making her jump. She spun around to find Elsa looking at her. Her grip on the redhead tightened.

“Don’t run away this time.” She gave a squeeze before letting go and opening her bag, pulling out a pack of tissues and a bottle of water. Anna stayed leaned against the bike as Elsa cleaned her face of blood.

“You’re going to have a black eye.” She frowned. Anna gave a small shrug.

“So will he.” She snorted. Once her fac3e was clean she handed the shorter girl a dry tissue. Anna immediately plugged up her bleeding nose, not looking at the blonde.

“Anna” The hand on her arm was back.

She hesitated before timidly turning to look at Elsa. Soft lips pressed against hers for a brief moment.

When she pulled back Anna could see her blush in stark contrast with her pale skin. Anna was no doubt as red.

“Thank you.” She said quietly. Anna nodded.

“You’re welcome.” She mumbled. Voice nasally from the tissues in her nose.

 “Do you want to come to my house? We can put some ice on that eye.”   She smiled.

Anna blushed harder but nodded.



Last one! there ya go hyogoko

The starry nights

A/N: Alternatively, 6.1K of Nursey being a space nerd and Dex just being a nerd. Alternatively, Dex calling Nursey strange nicknames. Take your pick.

Derek Nurse, at heart, was a romantic. And like many romantics who came before him, he found inspiration in the beautiful, the universal, the unexplained, the unexplored. For many, that had been the western frontier, Alaska, the forest, the ocean, the human condition, etc., etc. For Robert Frost, it was the road not taken. For Walt Whitman, it was grass. Whitman could have just crouched in his backyard and figured out grass in less than like 80 billion pages, but whatever, he was living life his way. Kudos to Whitman.

Anyway, Nursey’s muse resided not under the floorboards or atop the mountains, but in the night sky, that horrible, captivating expanse that spread out above him when the day was finished, made of darkness but home to so much light. Nothing else made him feel simultaneously alone and as though he had everywhere to belong, as though he were a small part of something bigger. It greeted him with a welcoming indifference he both feared and relished.

Nursey could remember the first time he’d seen the stars. Manhattan wasn’t exactly a stargazing destination. He’d of course seen them before on television and in art and the like, and he knew that he couldn’t see them in real life because of light pollution, but he hadn’t actually believed there could possibly be that many out there. He’d thought it was all an exaggeration.  

Until his parents had taken him along to a remote beach in Belize when he was about eight. They’d flown in late. It was dark, and they were all tired from travelling, but it wasn’t quite time for bed. His parents suggested going for a walk on the beach. He’d sat in the living room chair, playing on his Nintendo DS as his parents searched for flashlights and changed their clothes and found their sandals. As they were about to walk out the door, they called back to him.

“Derek, are you ready?” His mother asked.

He paused his game. “For what?” he asked back.

“To go for a walk, silly.”

Derek was amazed. His nanny had already shut herself in her bedroom. This was the first time in his recent memory he would go somewhere with his parents without her. “Just a minute,” he’d told his mother. He ran to his bedroom and tore through his suitcase to find his shoes.

The sun had set hours ago. Derek stepped from the boardwalk onto the sand, soft and slippery and warm from the sun. It felt like satin between his toes.

Derek saw a crab, white in the light of his flashlight, and took off like a shot, pouncing. His hand came up, of course, empty, but he felt no loss. There was another crab about three feet off, and about five more after that. He found a sea turtle’s nest of eggs in the sand under a set of stairs down the beach. He heard the croak of a frog from a tussock of rush, but couldn’t see it. He was digging through the greenery, letting his hands follow the frog’s call, when there was an explosion behind him.

The sky was illuminated a brilliant blue when Derek sat back, but the firework wasn’t what kept his attention. He couldn’t look away from the stars. There were so many. In New York, the sky was completely black, a plain backdrop for the city, but here, it was filled with stars, as though someone had spilled jar upon jar of them across the heavens. And the harder he stared into the darkness, the more stars he could see. The Milky Way cut through the chaos. He wished he could fly up and swim in it.

Derek stayed there, lying on his back in the sand long after the fireworks ended, until his parents finished their walk and found him on their way back. Derek had been focusing on a particularly bright arrangement of stars, studying how they’d moved since he’d studied them last, when his view was interrupted by his mother’s face. She bent over him, smiling benevolently, her hijab waving in the breeze.

“Derek, what are you doing?” She asked.

“Umi, are there always this many stars?”

“Yes, there are.” She held out her hand to help him stand. She gripped his shoulder and roughly brushed off his back. “Look at all the sand on you.”

“Is there any way we can see them in the city?”

“Don’t think so. It’s too bright.” His father answered.

His mother let go of him when her phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her pocket. She turned to her husband. “Jason just emailed me. He says he wants to meet for breakfast tomorrow to discuss budget while we’re in the same area.”

“Does that man not understand how to call?”

“Apparently he wants to talk in person.”

“We should head back then. Sounds like you’ve got an early day tomorrow.”

All but forgotten, Derek wandered along behind them. In the weeks after they returned home, he would drag his nanny across the city, searching for a glimpse of the stars, an interruption in the black. Finding none, his nanny – and he felt bad that he couldn’t remember which one it’d been – would help him paste glow-in-the-dark stickers to his bedroom ceiling, directed by him and an astronomy book, so the constellations were in the right places. He took out every star book in the library and went to the observatory a few blocks from his brownstone more times than he could count. His favorite movie became 2001: A Space Odyssey. He visited space in his dreams and longed for the day he could see it again in reality.

Then he grew up and moved to Massachusetts.

Keep reading

RP Starters - Taken From Random Scenarios I’ve Been In
  • “You know, some of the best conversations I’ve had have been when at least one of us was naked.”
  • “Let’s kill people!”
  • “HE’S MA SON!”
  • “I’m sorry I hit you in the gender-neutral boobs!”
  • “You have to be classy when you eat ass.”
  • “I’m in diabetes heaven!”
  • “I’m bored I’m going to kill the Occult Club.”
  • “I was going to say ‘don’t fuck Senpai’ but I suppose that’s what we want to do.”
  • “I gave him a backstory, he’s my son now, you can’t go back after that.”
  • “EXPOSED!”
  • “It fell out of existence. Just like my will to live.”
  • “Sexy swipers.”
  • “I’ve got to say this, your brother looks like a bad cosplay of Germany.”
  • “Every six year old has had a kink some point in their lives.”
  • “I think it was when we were talking about kinks!”
  • “He is a loose moose.”
  • “My brother tried to hide the cherryade so I couldn’t drink it but I found out and now I’m gonna drink it all because fuck him.”
  • “If you don’t like chocolate, you’re a stuck up prick. If you like dark chocolate, you’re a plain bitch. If you like white chocolate, you’re a fakeass motherfucker. If you like milk chocolate… you have nothing interesting, your life is a waste.”
  • “Red. The colour of HELL.”
  • “I flaunt my gayness all the time.”
  • “Let’s feast on some ass.”
  • “Our house is not big enough for all these fucks!”
  • “Oh for fuck sakes who invited Lighting McQueen?”
  • “Yeah, about that diet…”
  • “Whenever a door closes, God opens a window… Cause [Name] fucking farted again, God damn it.”
  • “This is the first time I’ve ever been horny because of a vicar.”
  • “Cocaine just spilled out of my Refresher. Oh wait, it’s the sherbet.”
  • “I saw them and their little nerd hands slapping each other.”
  • “Well, time to kill innocent schoolgirls.”
  • “NERD FIGHT!!”
  • “I’ve discovered your true identity, [Name]. There’s no hiding your Simpson blood.”
  • “’[Name] is my son,’ I say as I murder him.”
  • “I have too much darkness in me already, I can’t risk eating dark chocolate.”
  • “Orphan-ception.”
  • “Mr Peabody and Sherman is secretly about a boy’s discovery of being a furry.”
  • “Mr Peabody and Sherman, where everyone is a fucking furry.”
  • “I am not a furry.”
  • “Tame this mane, you actual furry.”
  • “I’m so hecking gay.”
  • “I thought you were the dog. I mean, you’re both bitches.”
  • “I don’t want birches.”
  • “Just because it doesn’t exist doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”
  • “2016 can officially suck my nuts.”
  • “Why is the cheese wrapped like a sausage? For kinky reasons.”
  • “When was the last time I held a knife to your genitals?”
  • “You missed me doing a super sick flip.”
  • “Unlike SOME PEOPLE, most people don’t like to be submerged in darkness.”
I Know It’s You (Fred)

Anon: Imagine dating Fred and during one of your dates he switches with George y/n is a ravenclaw so she picks up in it then she goes in to kiss him but he confesses.

* * *

Hogsmeade was beautiful this time of year. A soft layer of snow covered the ground and the Christmas decorations flashed bin bright colours making you feel like you were living in some kind of gingerbread land. You and Fred walked hand in hand down the streets looking in all the shops and just genuinely having a good time. ‘Hey I’m just going to go to the bathroom.’ Fred said. ‘I’ll meet you by the gate of the Shrieking Shack?’ You nodded and he wondered off as you kept walking forwards. You walked out of Hogsmeade and onto the small bank that over looked the Shrieking Shack and the wired fence that surrounded it. A few minutes later gloved hands covered your eyes, ‘Guess who!’ It said. You smiled, 
‘Goodness, who knows.’ You said sarcastically. He let go and you turned to face him. George. You opened your mouth to ask why George was here and where Fred was when he said, ‘Now where were we?’ Did Fred really think he could trick you that easily. You had to stop yourself from grinning as you got an idea. ‘Well,’ You started, ‘It is really romantic out here.’ You said dramatically. George nodded, ‘It sure is.’ He said. You opened your eyes wide and innocently. ‘What-what are you doing?’ He said. You walked closer towards him, ‘Well you know.’ You said seductively. George blushed and looked around him, ‘Uh no what?’ He said, slightly backing away. You kept walking towards him and you grabbed his hand pulling him into you. ‘We are alone.’ You said, trying to sound sexy. ‘Um, no i don’t think we are.’ George said. You looked around, ‘Oh, we are.’ You said. You pulled him in closer, closing the gap between you both and leaned forward slowly, aiming for his lips. Just as you were about to kiss he leaned his head back and yelled, ‘It’s not Fred. It’s George, we were trying to prank you but-’ You started to laugh loudly, throwing your head back at how scared and concerned he was. ‘Why are you laughing.’
‘Did you really think you could fool me?’ You asked through laughing. George looked at you, confused. ‘You knew?’ He said. You nodded,
‘Oh course I bloody knew.’ At that moment Fred came out from behind a tree, shaking his head, ‘Why are you so impossible to prank?’ He asked. You shrugged, tapping your head, ‘I’m smart, see.’ Fred rolled his eyes, ‘We tried, George.’
‘Back to the drawing board.’ George said, walking off back towards Hogsmeade. ‘You know I would have been proper mad if you snogged my brother.’
‘I knew he would freak out before it actually happened.’ You said, taking Fred’s hand. ‘How did you know?’ He asked you.
‘I told you, I’m smart.’ You said again. Fred shook his head,
‘You say smart, I’d go with nerd.’ He said. You slapped him on the arm,  
‘Sounds like someone is annoyed that I can outsmart their stupid pranks.’ You said gleefully. ‘You knew because I’m better looking than George, right?’ Fred said, winking. ‘Pfft for sure.’ You replied.