I’m getting ready for NEPMo: write a 5,000 line epic poem in a month.

So I’m researching epic poetry, more specifically meters.

And I can’t decide between ballad meter and alliterative verse. Then I find that dactylic hexameter is nearly impossible in English.

And I read up on how to write dactylic hexameter:

So I’m never going to that wikipedia page again.

Then I decide to compromise- part of my epic poem in ballad meter and the other alliterative verse.

So then I’m looking through rules of epic poems…

Epic poems have rules?

Actually, they’re called “characteristics”.

…Same thing.

Epithets- cool. Vast setting- sure. Long lists- boring. Devine intervention- …no. Long, formal speeches-


I am just going to do this my way. My epic poem. My modern epic poem. So there.