neon leather jacket

anonymous asked:

First kiss story?

The “first” was an accident, so I don’t really know how much it counts. My godsister secretly invited her best friend over after midnight - we’d just turned 13 and were ready to be edgy and rebellious teenagers who did things like that.

The friend climbed through the basement window. She had neon blue hair, a leather jacket, fishnet tights, spiked combat boots, and knew every Bob Dylan song by heart. I was attracted to her in the way that square nerds are often attracted to unapologetic punks, but I wasn’t sure that I actually liked her very much.

We all hung out in the dark for a couple of hours, watching Beetlejuice or something. My godsister and her friend ended up talking about how they kissed each other occasionally and how that was normal, girls sometimes make out with each other, it was pretty punk-rock. The friend asked me if I’d ever kissed anyone and my godsister laughed kind of meanly at the suggestion. I was embarrassed and got pretty sulky.

We finished the movie, or turned it off, and kind of awkwardly admitted that we were all too tired to stay up any later. I’m not sure how it happened, but I turned my head and my lips connected with the friends’ - I yelped in surprise, right into her mouth, and it made a horrible gross sucking noise as I jumped away.

We never spoke of it again.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.