neon green tee

act my age

Summary: Throughout all of elementary and middle school, Erza was tormented by the same boy. After finding out that he is attending the same college as her – it was only natural to want to extract sweet, sweet revenge, right? The only problem is, her bully has evolved in more ways than one.

Pairing(s): jerza, gruvia, nalu, gajevy, miraxus. severe ervia brotp.




“I’m just saying, don’t you think it’s a little bit ridiculous to be this obsessed over something that happened three years ago?”

“Four years. And absolutely not – every bit of this is completely justified.” Erza answered, tentatively drawing a dark line above her eyelid.

“Mm, I’m gonna have to disagree this time.” Juvia admitted, crossing her legs against the bathroom counter and examining her friend in the mirror. “Remember that time you convinced me that shattering Jenny’s kneecaps after she made out with your boyfriend was a good idea? Yeah, it wasn’t. Your judgment is forever questioned in my mind as of now.”

This is different,” Erza scowled as a small smudge appeared in her otherwise perfect eyeliner. “This, I have been waiting for, for so long.

“You see, that really doesn’t make it any more credible.” Juvia replied.

“Doesn’t matter what you think,” Erza said, thickening the dark lines so that they were just about even. A feat in itself. “How do I look?”

“Like a maneater.” Juvia answered. Erza smiled deviously.





“I think you’re overdoing it.”

Erza shook her head. “No such thing.”

Juvia raised one eyebrow, about to rapid-fire a thousand reasons why that factoid was incorrect.

“-don’t even start. You said yourself I looked hot, no one’s going to suspect that I have ulterior motives.” Erza justified. Juvia simply frowned.

“But it’s just speech class – you don’t even know if this guy is in your class.” Juvia pointed out.

“Yeah well, it doesn’t hurt to check.” Erza snapped, smoothing her hair back into its tight ponytail.

“Well, it doesn’t hurt to fuck the entire bowling team, but you’re not going to do that, are you?”

“Shut up, Juvia. Your metaphors are the worst.”

“Well, you’re a metawhore.

Erza slapped a hand over her friend’s mouth and ducked into the class. They grabbed seats next to each other, and inconspicuously began their hunt.

“What does this guy look like again?” Juvia asked out of boredom, scoping out the class for hot guys.

“He had blue hair, last time I saw him. Ooh, I hope he still isn’t fit. That boy used to be able to eat entire skittle packages in the middle of class. It had to have hit him at some point—“

“So, blue hair? That’s all you’ve got for me? Tch.” Juvia continued to look around, making a mental checklist of whose phone number she’d have to swipe.

“I don’t see him.” Erza growled, tapping her nails on the desk impatiently.

“It’s a big campus, you better keep your expectations low.” Juvia informed. “How did you even find out he was going here?”

“I told you, Simon got me that list. I saw his name on it.” Erza explained.

“Ah, of course, Simon. I can’t believe you guys haven’t dated yet, he’d probably rip off his own arm if you asked him to.” Juvia exaggerated.

“Ew. Weird, he’s like, my…step…cousin. I don’t know, it’d just be gross.” Erza reprimanded.

“You should probably let him know that. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s in love with you.” Juvia teased.

“How would you know? The closest you’ve been to love is Jeff Goldblum.” Erza mocked.

“Ha-ha, make fun of my first love. Real clever there Erza, keep that shit up and you’ll wake up with all that pretty, pretty red hair gone…” Juvia said while stroking Erza’s ponytail.

A swarm of people walked in and Erza became distracted by her pencil. Did she even put led into it? Oh god, she’d be so screwed if she couldn’t even write on the first day! Juvia brought a pen, so she’s crossed off the list, but-

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Erza check your twelve ‘o clock, we got the bottom half of Channing Tatum coming in hot…” Juvia rang out, looking very much like she wanted some popcorn and iced tea.

Two obviously fit guys walked in, elbowing each other playfully. They could almost be a couple, but by the looks of their obsession with Nike and muscle t-shirts, Erza went out on a limb and assumed that they were straight, or maybe experimenting. Nonetheless, there was nothing more unappetizing than a man in a neon green muscle tee. 

One of them had salmon colored hair, to put it in a more masculine sense. The other had darker hair, and Erza had to say, was the hot one of the two. Not that the one with pink hair wasn’t hot, he just sort of…paled.

“Ooh, what I wouldn’t do to sit on that face-“

“Gross Juvia, nobody gives a shit about you.” Erza deadpanned.

“Frankly, that’s a horrible way to make friends,” Juvia said straight-faced, before turning towards the two boys and giving them a flirtatious wave. This earned her a few laughs from them, mocking or not, Erza had yet to tell.

Disappointed that her revenge plan wasn’t in full-swing, Erza bent her head low and inhaled the scent of her shampoo. It was pomegranate, and it was really amazing.

“Hey, you said blue hair, right?” Juvia whispered as the professor began a leisurely role-call.

“Yuh-hm.” Erza answered, still half buried in the fabulous smell of fruit.

“Well what about that guy over there, his hair looks fairly blue…purple-ish…” Juvia added with an extra squint.

Erza followed her line of vision and was slightly intrigued; the subject was sitting towards the front and indeed had blue hair, and muscular shoulders, from what the view provided. Erza mentally cursed, if he was the boy she was looking for, she was hoping he’d be a lot less…shapely…

“I need a better view,” she mumbled, craning her neck to see what the heads in front of her were blocking.

“Dragneel, Natsu?”


That earned the kid with pink hair a few girlish giggles. Good god, if it was going to be like that all semester…

“Oh great, remedial Spanish, just what I needed.” Juvia commented wryly, as miffed at the boy’s first impression as Erza was.

A few more names were listed off, and Erza’s hands clung to the edges of the desk in anticipation.

“If it is him, his name should be coming up soon…” Erza told Juvia. She nodded and trained her vision on the blue haired boy.

“Fernandes, Jellal?”


Fuck.” Erza said, a little more audibly than she hoped.

“Is it him?” Juvia asked quickly.

Erza nodded, her lips pressed into a thin line. “Oh yeah, it’s him.”

Juvia cocked her head. “Y’know, from this angle, he looks kinda-“

“Disgusting? Horrible? I know, just keep your head down.” Erza instructed.

“I was gonna say smokin’, but whatever helps you sleep at night.” Juvia replied.

“Well he’s a monster. I hate him, and I would enjoy murdering him.” Erza said before leaving herself to her thoughts.

That was Jellal alright, but she had yet to see his stupid, smug face. Hopefully it was horribly disfigured, maybe after a freak car accident, or a gang fight? No matter what, Erza’s one hope was banking on the fact that she’d be hotter than him. In middle school, he was the hot one, so he got to prance around and trample all over her, but no, not this time, motherfucker. She was the hot one now, and she was gonna rub it in his goddamn face-

“Scarlet, Ezra?”

Seriously?” she cursed under her breath. Teachers seemed to be fairly phobic of pronouncing her name correctly, r before z, but she didn’t exactly have the energy to complain.

“Erza, here.” She corrected before mentally throwing up.

“Oh. Sorry about that.” The teacher made an eraser mark on his clipboard and went back to reading.

“Uh-oh. Don’t look now, but Mr. Revenge plot is staring at you.” Juvia warned while casually tapping her fingernails against each other.

“Really? Is he hot?” She asked with hopeful malice.

“…Damn. Yeah, he is. He has a face tattoo, risky as hell, but he’s working that shit.” Juvia mentioned nonchalantly. She was a master of lies and deception, it was a miracle she hadn’t committed a felony yet.


“A face tattoo? Are you sure? Is he still looking?” Erza asked impatiently.

“Yeah, quick, do that majestic look you always do.” Juvia advised. Erza tilted her head slightly upwards and let her eyelids droop a quarter inch, just enough to look seriously sexy.

“Mmm…he just looked away, but that was some pretty intense eye-smex right there. I felt kinda dirty just being in your presence.” Juvia admitted, which Erza found hard to believe because Juvia had walked in on her parents having sex on five separate occasions.

Erza let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and began to interrogate Juvia.

“Is he hotter than me? Do you think he recognized me? Was the tattoo cool, or lame?”

“Hmm…I think you guys are pretty damn even on a hotness standpoint, yes, he definitely recognized you, and it was kinda sick.” Juvia told.

Shit. This is garbage. Why isn’t he ugly? He deserves to be ugly.” Erza lamented.

“Maybe you’re going a bit overboard on this-“

“No! No I am not, I am going to end that boy, if it ends up killing us both!”

“Erza, the Sith called, they want their movie back.”

“Shut up! Come on, are you with me, or not? I’m going to get revenge on Jellal Fernandes, and I’ll be honest here, if you don’t help me, it’s kinda gonna be a blow to our whole friendship.” Erza threatened.

“Eh, I got nothin’ better to do.” Juvia caved, tapping her pen on the desk. “What’s the plan?”

“First,” Erza said with an evil smile, “we seduce him.”

“Aw, Jesus, I can already tell that this plan is gonna suck-“

“Just shut up and listen.”

After listening to Erza’s intricate plan, Juvia lazily agreed to help her. However unbelievable it was.

“Alright kids, now it may seem a bit out of the ordinary, but I will be dealing out a seating chart. Part of speech class is learning how to be comfortable with different audiences, and I want you all to utilize that as early as possible.” The teacher announced. Juvia groaned and Erza smacked her face against the desktop.

“I hope I at least get to sit by hotpants over there,” Juvia jerked her thumb to the dark haired boy and licked her lips creepily.

“You’re embarrassing yourself.” Erza said, before slowly peeling her thighs off of the chair she was sitting in (perhaps short-shorts were a bad decision towards the end of summer).

“Maybe you’ll get to sit by tattoo face, then you’ll have no trouble achieving vengeance.” Juvia commented as the teacher began dealing seats out.

“That’d be horrible. If I have to see his stupid, handsome face for more than five minutes a day, I might just pull a dark knight and smash a pencil through my forehead.” Erza groaned.

“If I had to see his stupid handsome face, I’d probably accidentally end up fucking him.” Juvia said with a less-than-guilty look written across her face.

“How does one accidentally have sex?”

“Dunno. Trip over a tree branch and onto his penis?”

“-Dragneel, Scarlet, Strauss…”The teacher listed off, tapping a desk to go with each name.

“Crap. I got put next to pinky?” Erza wrinkled her nose and gathered her things.

“Sucks, doesn’t it ‘Za?” Juvia asked rhetorically. “Hey, would ya lookit that? You’re sittin’ right in front of tattoo baby.”

Erza, despite the convenience of the seating arrangement, mentally stabbed herself.

“This fuckin’ sucks, and suckin’ fucks, and it’s a piece of shit, and I don’t like it.” She whispered to Juvia. Juvia laughed at her wayward cursing and bid her farewell, even though she was only seated a row behind her and to the left.

Erza kept her head up straight and refused to look anyone in the eye until she reached her seat.

“Hey there sweetheart, wanna go out for a-“

“Not on your life.” Erza cut off the boy with pink hair faster than he could recover.

“…Fair enough. You got a pencil?” He asked.

“No,” she scoffed, before remembering that her pencil may or may not have led.

She dug through her bag and retrieved her pencil, anxiously clicking the eraser in hope that it would show signs of life. Her face slowly began to fall after four seconds of clicking, and the guy next to her started to laugh.

“Looks like you’re just as screwed as me, eh?” He laughed again, making Erza want to send a punch directly at his appendix.

“Shut your yap, I’m working on it.” she said through gritted teeth, clicking her pencil consistently.

“Heh heh. How’s that going for you, Red?” He asked, while watching her amusedly.

“It’s Erza, Pinky. Now put a sock in it.” She muttered, popping the eraser out so she could check the actual pencil for led that might’ve been trapped.

“Fine, Erza. I’m Natsu.” He introduced.

“And I’m screwed.” Erza whisper yelled.

“Ha-ha. Told ya.” Natsu snickered.

A tap came at Erza’s shoulder. Barely invested, she turned her head to see what the problem was.

To her chagrin, the unfortunately attractive face of Jellal Fernandes was staring back at her, bemused, with a fine piece of led in between his fingers.

Damn, the tattoo was hot.

Unconsciously, she stared back at him like he had just asked her if she preferred top or bottom.

When she made no apparent motion to accept the led, he raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

“Do you need led, or not?” He asked, voice unexpectedly smooth and deep.

Erza coughed.

“Uh…yeh?” She squeaked incoherently, taking the led from him gingerly like it contained the bubonic plague.

“Hey man, could you hit me up with a pen or somethin’?” Natsu asked him turning around and interrupting Erza and Jellal’s odd moment.

“Yeah, sure.” He offered kindly. Erza whirled around quickly to avoid screaming at the top of her lungs. Did he not recognize her, was Juvia mistaken? Or did he recognize her and feel bad? Was the led poisoned?

Erza gently placed the led in her pencil, taking great care that it didn’t cleave in half and piss her off even more. Was the led some sort of ploy to get her to forgive him after years of torture? Well nice try Fernandes, but it’ll take more than a hunk of graphite for Erza Scarlet to let go of this!

“Hey. There’s steam comin’ out of your ears.” Natsu observed.

“That guy’s an asshole.” I whispered.

Natsu looked back, before looking back at Erza. “Really? He seemed kinda decent.”

“Trust me, he eats children and beats up cats in his spare time.” Erza said lowly.

“That’s…oddly specific.” Natsu remarked.

The teacher then told them to introduce themselves to the people around them. Erza inwardly groaned and turned to Natsu.

“Natsu Dragneel. I’m eighteen years old, I’m from Maryland.” He briefly described.

“Erza Scarlet. Eighteen, Iowa.” She said curtly.

The girl sitting at the double desk next to them gave them a brilliantly white smile to match her silver-white hair.

“I’m Mirajane! I’m nineteen years old, and I’m from Wisconsin.” She greeted.

“Hi there.” Natsu said with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

Behind Natsu was a girl named Cana, she was nineteen and from Wisconsin as well.

By the time her small group of introductees had turned to Jellal, Erza had already tuned him out.

“I’m Jellal. I’m eighteen, I’m from Iowa, and I actually don’t eat babies, contrary to popular belief.” He said, throwing Erza a boyishly handsome smile. Natsu laughed and Erza covered up her blush with her hand.

“Wait, you eat babies?” Cana asked.

“No, no I don’t.” Jellal corrected.

“He beats up cats, too.” Natsu added for further embarrassment.

“Ahahahahaha…Natsu, that’s…that’s real funny…” Erza faked through her teeth.

“Whoo, do you do dogs? There’s this annoying little yippy terrier that lives a few houses down from me, and I really wanna get rid of him without being arrested-“

Jellal interceded Cana’s request expertly. “Actually, not really. I only do alligators.”

“Badass. Nice to meet you Jellal.” Mirajane said.

“Yeah, nice to meet you…all…” he ended giving Erza a pointed look. She looked away.

“Now that you’ve all met each other, why don’t we start with a group activity…”




“Well that was boring. Everybody sitting near me is either forty, or ugly.” Juvia recalled.

Erza stayed silent, her eyes fixed on Jellal, who was speaking with Natsu and his friend.

“Didn’t do anything crazy, did you?” Juvia asked at the slight psychotic glint in her best friend’s eyes.


“Oh my god, you did, didn’t you?”

“Shut up…” Erza mumbled, before looking back at Jellal.

To her surprise, he was looking back at her too.

“Shit! Abort mission!” She whispered to Juvia, latching her hand on her shoulder and propelling towards the door.

“Why, is he coming?” Juvia lifted her head to check. “Oh my god, he is! Go talk to him!”

Juvia shoved Erza backwards, directly back into the crowd like a wayward bowling ball.

Her gaze spiraled forward and her hands grabbed the nearest object to steady her. And, like any romantic comedy, she grappled onto the warm chest of the last person she wanted to see that day.

“Erza,” he greeted, obviously recognizing her for exactly who she was.

“Jellal.” She said thickly, swallowing whatever malice she harbored for him and faking a smile. “It’s been…so long…”

“Yeah,” he agreed, steadying her so she wasn’t grasping his shirt like it was her saving grace. “Hey, so…kind of weird question, but you aren’t like…mad at me? For how shitty I was to you when we were kids?”

With a tight, maniacal smile, Erza shook her head one too many times. “No. Nope. No way! That’s…ridiculous…”

“Ok…that’s good, I guess…” he said, unsure of whether to believe her or not. “I hope we can put it all behind us and be friends?”

“Oh yeah. Sounds great.” She replied dryly.

“Uh…alright, I’ll see you around!” He waved, flexing his almost delicious biceps. Damn. If only he could’ve turned out to be ugly.

“Yeah. I’ll see you around.” Erza said, long after he had left.

“Uh-oh, Erza, what are you thinking? I’ve seen that look before…are we about to commit manslaughter?” Juvia asked nervously from behind her.

“Better Juvia…” Erza said sweetly. “I’ve got a much better idea…”




basically this fic is erza trying to prank jellal and seriously failing. And jellal being hot.

Calm After the Storm

Reverse falls dipifica for the ending of the series.
I had to make something after the finale cause I have a lot of feelings. Hope you guys like this. Takes place after the saving of the world and stuff. Things are kept incredibly vague.


The bite of the cool air didn’t bother him, neither did the lack of moonlight. In fact he rather liked it better when it was dark outside, with only the faded glow of starlight in the distance. The final days of August were rolling past and leaving a wake for the chill of fall. But Dipper had always preferred the cold, and he was quite happy to leave this summer and every burden it had brought with it behind.

Though he couldn’t really say that about every burden.

“Why am I not surprised?” a voice chimed from behind him. It took every inch of his power not to smile. Her voice sounded just as fiery as it had been when he first heard it, though now there was a sparkling joy that hadn’t been there before. “Lurking in the dark, as per usual Pines.”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. He had thought she wouldn’t wander from the party going on inside the mystery shack. After all, she did have a lot of catching up to do with all her friends and family. But he had also guessed that she would come looking for him. She usually did.

“Old habits die hard, Northwest,” he replied with a shrug. “You should know that better than anyone.”

She gave a light snort of laughter at the comment. This time he couldn’t suppress a smile. Pacifica never did have twinkling giggles or elegant chuckles when she really aloud herself to feel joy. But he wouldn’t trade the sound of her chortle for any other sound in the world.

The blonde sat down beside him on the porch, the scraped skin of her bare knee brushing against his leg. Even through the fabric of his pant leg, he can feel the jolt of electricity ignite in his veins at the contact. Looking over at her he could see she was in the same cut off shorts and neon green tee shirt she had been wearing when the world almost came to an end. Her hair had been taken out of its high pony tail and left to drape down her shoulders in its natural curl. Those big lavender eyes were staring up at the stars with such intense reverence, as if she was afraid they would vanish from the sky again if she didn’t. She was no doubt thinking about the events that had transpired over the last few weeks. How could she not.

Given her state of concentration, it was a bit of a surprise to hear her speak again.

“It’s going to be strange,” she whispered, not looking away from the lights above her. “To see you walking around without that cape.”

Dipper could only sigh in response. He knew she was going to comment on the absence of the cloak on his shoulders. It’s not as if he could get it back now after what Cipher had done to it. “I think I’ve out grown it at this point. And besides its not as if I need it when I won’t be performing anymore.”

Pacifica shot him a disbelieving stare. “You’re giving up the magic act?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “What, you mean in all you’re years of performing you never picked up any actual magic tricks?”

“Well, there wasn’t any need for that when I had access to actual magic,” Dipper scoffed. In a subconscious need for confirmation, he reached up to touch his throat. Finding the space at the centre of his collar bare, he was again left with a strange hollowness at the pit of his stomach. He shook his head and tried to cover his discomfort. “Mabel wants to move on from the twin psychic act anyway. I can’t be around her with out getting assaulted by rants on Broadway and runway.”

Not hearing the laughter that he was expecting, he turned to look at her, only to see the softest of smiles on her face. Even in the dark of the night, she glowed with the warmth of sunlight. Seeing her like this would always send his heart fluttering like a butterfly, one that was impossible to catch and keep still.

“You did good today,” she encouraged, nudging him with her elbow. “I know it was hard for you to do it, and none of us would have survived if you hadn’t.”

She added a soft sympathy to her words, as if she knew of the emotional turmoil he had been fighting down. But of course she knew. Pacifica Northwest always knew.

Dipper only noticed that she was leaning towards him when her shoulder touched his. Her fingers reached up and lightly brushed at the loose strands of hair hanging above the birthmark on his forehead. He had to keep himself from flinching when he felt for how warm her hands were. She traced the constellation with her forefinger, humming a jumpy tune to herself as she did it.

Dipper didn’t dare to disturb her as she traced and retraced the sign of Ursa Major. Merely a few hours ago, he would have never believed he could encounter a moment that was this peaceful. It was a miracle she was even there.

A memory of filtered into his mind and splattered across his vision like the splatter of blood. A momentary panic seized him and he couldn’t control the rapid pounding of his heartbeat. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching up to cradle her face in his hands, making sure she was truly there beside him. Their eyes met and for a moment she looked at him in complete confusion. But then in a flash of a second, he could tell she understood what he was feeling. Despite his perfect mask of indifference, despite every effort he put into hiding the truth from her, she could always read him effortlessly like he was one of her books.

In true Pacifica fashion, she did something that shocked him out of his skull. Her hands slipped into his and pulled them down to his sides, but she didn’t let them go. All she did was lean her forehead against his, close her eyes, and let out a deep breath of relief. Dipper did the same, letting all the tension of fear and anger out in one exhale.

To an observer, nothing happened between them that night. They didn’t speak, they didn’t kiss, and neither of them moved until the sun started to peek over the trees. The two simply stayed together breathing in time with their fingers entwined, as the celebration of victory played out behind them. They had reached the calm after one hell of a storm.

It was over.


Holy snap! A romantic moment where Dipper ain’t a jerk face. Anyway, happy belated Valentine’s Day!