neo roman

  • Neo: *Downtrodden because she lost Roman*
  • Neo: *Sitting alone on a road*
  • Roman: Well, well, well, look what we have here.
  • Neo: *Turns around to see Roman behind her*
  • Roman: What's up, short stack? You miss me?
  • Neo, typing into her phone: How did you survive?
  • Roman: A magician never reveals his secrets.
  • Neo: *Begins crying*
  • Roman: Would you look at that, she's melting. We need to get you into the shade.
  • Roman: *Walks under a tree, opens his arms for a reunion hug*
  • Roman: Come on, you know I get sick of it when you get all sad. Come here and show me some love.
  • Neo: *Runs up to hug Roman. He shatters.*
  • Roman: *Was an illusion made by Neo*
  • Neo: *Collapses onto the ground in pile of pink, white, and brown tears. Delicious.*
  • *In a back alley dead end*
  • Ruby: We've got you cornered, Roman!
  • Roman: You sure about that, Red?
  • Neo: *Comes down from sky*
  • Roman: Neo, if you would.
  • Neo: *Whisks Roman off to the get away chopper*
  • Ruby: Aw, come on!
  • ------------------------
  • *At the top of a really tall cliff*
  • Ruby: This time we've definitely cornered you, and there's not a chopper in sight! There's nowhere to run!
  • Roman: Not with that attitude there isn't!
  • Roman: *Jumps off cliff*
  • Neo: *Comes in flying a jet plane and catches Roman as he falls*
  • Roman: But I've been working with my therapist on my self-confidence and we've been making some real strides lately!
  • Ruby: Seriously?
  • -----------------------
  • *In an underground bunker*
  • Ruby, holding her gun to Roman's head: Alright, now there's really nowhere for you to run! Your life of crime ends h-
  • Neo: *Crashes through the ceiling in a highjacked commercial airline*
  • Ruby: OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK
  • Grunt: Um, Torchwick sir? Why exactly are we tracking down this Ruby girl? Are you sure we can make money off of-
  • Roman: It's my job to run this operation, isn't it? Now go on! Shoo! I'm not paying you to stand around not tracking the girl down!
  • Neo: ......
  • Grunt: Yes Sir!
  • Grunt: *Leaves*
  • Neo: ......
  • Roman: *Shatters. Was an illusion made by Neo.*
  • Neo: *Takes Roman's hat and cane out of a cabinet. She puts on the hat.*
  • Neo: *Gently caresses the cane, a solemn look on her face*
  • Neo: *Sets the cane down on her lap. Put s a cigar in her mouth and lights it with Roman's lighter*
  • Neo: *Continues caressing the cane, softly weeping.*
  • Neo: *Takes cigar out of her mouth and loudly coughs out smoke. She puts it back in.*
  • Neo: *Continues this for several minutes before putting the cigar down in an ashtray.*
  • Neo: *Takes out a picture of Ruby and stares at it, getting increasingly angry*
  • Neo: *Uses Roman's lighter to set the picture on fire. She watches it burn in her hand, staring at it angrily with tears in her eyes.*
To the tune of Guys and Dolls from Guys and Dolls
  • Sun: If you see a dude, stow away on a cruise,
  • Sun: You can bet, that he's doing it for some dooooooollll!
  • Qrow: If a guy and girl are fighting all the time,
  • Qrow: Chances are that the fight isn't the only thing on that guy's mind.
  • Neptune: When you see a guy, who can't dance for his life,
  • Neptune: But he's showing all of his moves at the baaaaaallllll!
  • Sun, Qrow, and Neptune: Call it sad, call it funny, but it's better than even money, that the guy's only doing it for some dooooooolllll!
  • Roman: When he's tired as hell from learning ASL,
  • Roman: There's no doubt he was learning it for some doooolllll!
  • Jaune: When a man takes night classes for the guitar,
  • Jaune: Chances are there's a dame, with whom he thinks, that he can go far.
  • Taiyang: When you see a dad, and he's hurting real bad, cause his wife died after his first love left him-
  • Roman: Neo, cut the music!
  • *Record Scrath*:
  • Taiyang, through tears: And then his 2 daughters left for school and one came back with one arm and the other left immediately after and the one that stayed is growing emotionally distant and he wants to find the words to say to fix her but nothing he tries is working and he goes to sleep every night feeling like a failure of a father because-
  • Qrow: TAIYANG! FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP IMPROVING YOUR LINES!
  • Roman: Take five, people! And someone get this blubbering mess some tissues.