1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
Oh man i was really young… probably around 8 years old. I actually didn’t appreciate Spirited Away until more recently though. When I was a kid the movie actually scared the shit out of me.
2:Talk about your first kiss.
Well we had just seen Finding Nemo in 3d and he knew i had never kissed anyone before and that i really wanted to. This was before he turned into a pressuring douche bag… anyways, we were at the mall sitting in front of Macy’s waiting for my sister to pick me up. We were kinda just sitting there looking at each other and he said “you want to kiss me” and I nodded… so he kissed me and I was a blushing idiot afterwards. He gave me a hug and then kissed me again. It was gross.
3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.
Oh man. There’s not enough time in the world for me to talk about him. I met him almost two years ago on a game I hold very dear to my heart. He crushed me by telling me he wouldn’t date me… Little did I know he was hiding the feelings he had about me. I had the same feelings and would deny them even through another relationship (I’m bad I know). Eventually things fell into place. He makes me feel like a princess even on my low days. He’s my best friend, my number 1 support figure, and someone I hope is in my life for a very very long time. Even if he lives in a land very distant from my own.
4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
I regret a lot of things. I regret mistreating my body at the end of my freshman year. I regret unknowingly not giving my body or mind respect during my sophomore year. I regret shrugging off my demons junior year (ignorance was too bliss). I regret refusing to nourish my body senior year.
5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.
My eighteenth was alright I guess. I was carefree and happy playing video games with my friends. Nothing too special but I just remember letting go for the first time in awhile. It was nice :)
35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
I wish I could stop feeling bad about giving my body nice food. Like last night I was so happy. I had eaten an entire meal from a restaurant of broccoli, fruit, and grilled salmon and when I got back to our condo we are staying in I felt good. I had a bit of a food tummy, sure. But I was still cheerful and happy. I just wish it could always be like that.
36:Talk about your guilty pleasures.
2 Words. Dance Moms.
37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
9 months. He was tall with dark hair and probably just as self destructive as I was. He loved someone else and left me for her. He was my first for a lot of things and I’m sure if he kept on roping me along he’d continue being my first for others. For awhile his compliments acted as false respect for me and I thought I was happy. Sometimes I think I forgive him. Sometimes I don’t. Even when he apologized and cried for me. He made me afraid but also reckless.I don’t even recognize him anymore and that’s sad.
38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.
This is a tough one. Mad World reminds me of my second relationship i guess. I dunno.
39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.
Hurting myself will not rid me of problems, in fact, they will make them worse.
College more so picking a college isn’t that big a deal.
If you want therapy to work, you have to be honest.
Doing things for him won’t make him love you any more.
Learn to use your goddamn agenda.
40:Talk about the end of something in your life.
I just ended high school. Pretty much this puts me in an exciting yet terrifying point in my life. I’m almost afraid to lose the structure of going to school every day because its something I know.