neither of us'

I just really want some AU where Alfred and Arthur get stuck with each other for one reason or another — some historical/fantasy thing where they’re traveling together; got trapped or lost somewhere; modern school project; roommates; neighbors; half-siblings/cousins at some family gathering, it could be anything — but they don’t speak the same language, or only barely.

(even better if they both speak more than one language, but 8 times out of 10 none of them quite line up well enough to be clear.)

and the whole time it’s just this constant game of charades, gesturing wildly at each other and yelling like maybe saying it louder will make it clearer, or else trying to enunciate everything as best they can, to little or no avail. and they get so damn frustrated sometimes, especially when they’re trying to get something important across and it’s just. not. clicking. how can you not know what this means?! how am I supposed to know what that means, you utter buffoon?!

but other times it’s just so inexplicably hilarious that even Arthur cracks a smile, because the whole thing is so frickin’ ridiculous, and somehow they still end up being friends.

(also, both taking full advantage of the fact that they could say anything without the other ever knowing what it means, probably. all the muttering under their breath. the insults and the compliments and admissions of how they’re feeling. the colorful commentary. the salt.)

youtube

Me and my mom went in the hall to test out a scooter… But she knew FULLY WELL neither of us had the keys and closed the door…

Good thing her friend showed up a little bit earlier and gave us a card to break in with-

me and BR kind of accidentally had the ~are we exclusive~ talk via text today and the good news is that we’re both into it and neither of us is dating or talking to anyone else! so yay! 

we’re going on a date on Thursday night to the downtown library and I’m so excited. this was my idea bc neither of us have been there and it’s apparently a very cool building with a rooftop garden and cafe! I also need to get my Austin library card! 

So at the same time it wasn’t a lie either, and you better listen to me now, ’cause if you were right about anything it’s that girls like us can’t afford regrets. We just said it differently that night and neither of us really got what the other was saying, so here’s what I want you to get into that head of yours: just because something exists doesn’t mean you’ve gotta pay attention to it. Not if it drags you down the way regrets do. Not even if it’s inside or a big part of you. That’s what gets us killed, and even if we’re bound to disappear sooner than normal people ‘cause our wishes go wrong and nothing’s like we wanted, there’s no point to dwelling in all your stupid regrets—that’s for people who can afford to waste time, who don’t have anyone else relying on them, who don’t realize they can live for their own sakes, who aren’t us.

- Kyouko, “blank maps”, https://archiveofourown.org/works/2450225

10

Steve/Tony + complementary qualities

do u ever spend literal days thinking about the baffling layers of nested self-aware satire in this single four-word caption in the Slayer’s Cake commercial because I do

  • Ravenclaw: I want takeout.
  • Slytherin: Me too... I'm not calling.
  • Ravenclaw: Me neither.
  • Slytherin: So now what?
  • Ravenclaw: We starve.
  • Gryffindor: You two are pathetic.

“Both of us are really shy.  We were working at the same office when we met.  I’d do anything to walk by her desk.  And she’d do the same.  I’d ask her for advice on certain projects.  We were flirting the entire time but neither of us wanted to admit it.  Then one night we decided to take a walk together after work.  We ended up sitting on a bench just like this, and we had a very intimate conversation about our lives.  We were so honest with each other.  I talked about my weaknesses.  And mistakes that I’d made.  And plans for the future.  We were sitting in front of town hall, and both of us agreed that it would be a great place to get married one day, whenever we met someone.  The whole time I had my arm along the back of the bench, not quite touching her.  It was so cold outside, but neither of us mentioned it, because we didn’t want the night to end.  When the conversation finally finished, I walked her to her car.  It was a ten minute walk.  I tried to act relaxed but inside I was really nervous.  The whole time I was thinking about kissing her.  Should I do it?  Should I not?   Then finally I decided on a hug.  But it was a deep hug.  Extra deep hug.  That night I went back home, and said to my roommate: ‘That’s her.’”
(Paris, France)

@ everyone who says charles is creepy and the worst

1. you’re wrong

2. he took a bullet for rosa. he pushed jake into being vulnerable and going after amy. he supported rosa unconditionally in her coming out. he put together the most beautiful wedding for jake and amy under the most ridiculous time crunch. he is always there for the squad and willing to do anything to make them all happy. he may be a lil weird, but weird is nothing when you’re that loyal and compassionate. in this essay i will be-

Can you imagine Keanu Reeves and Ryan Reynolds side-by-side in a buddy-cop film???

And better yet: They’re husbands.

Originally posted by aestheticsmut

Originally posted by matthew-daddario

Random woman: Wait, so you two are actually partners partners? Like gay married?

Ryan: Yes, we’re together by choice. His choice, not mine. We were originally going to get lesbian married, but we decided against it last minute because neither of us wanted to wear a tux.

Keanu: *facepalm* …ugh…

EDIT: Since this post is blowing up and I see that most of y'all are Marvel stans, I’d like to remind you that I also draw Marvel fanart and I would love it if you checked out the other content on my account! xoxo

Sanders Sides as an actual coversation I had with my boyfriend: The Pet Rat Edition

Patton: Let’s make our rats a swing!!

Logan: YES- wait, what? 

Patton: A swing!

Logan: For our rats.

P: For our rats!

L: The rats are going to use the swing.

P: Yes!

L: How. 

P: They are gonna swing on it!

L: How.

P: Well, we hang the swing…

L: …yes…? 

P: …aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand… they are gonna swing on it.

L: *breaths in slowly* So what you’re basically telling me here is… we are going to build a swing-

P: Yes!

L: -hang it in this tiny rat cage that is already full of our mugs for them to hide in, and slides, and tunnels, and branches, and balconies-

P: Yes! 

L: -and we hang this, if I am following your intentions correctly, this tiny version of a human swing into their tiny cage-

P: YES

L: -and they are gonna SWING. ON. A. HUMAN. SWING.

P: Y E S

L: HOW!!!

P: *cheery as can be, seems to have no care in the world* I dunno, they’ll figure it out!

L: *takes a deep breath* Pray tell, although I am afraid to ask: What are we going to make the swing out of?

P: This!! *pulls a solid black leather belt out of bloody nowhere*

L: The swing. It’s going to be made out of a leather belt. This belt. The belt you are holding right now. 

P: It is!

L: How is that going to work??

P: Well, naturally-

L: Yes?!

P: -we hang it!

L: *slightly hysterical* But H O W is it going to W O R K.

P: Like a SWING, Logan!

L: They are rats.

P: *cheery, carefree, sunshine and roses* I know!!

L: *tries, and fails, to regain his composture once more* Patton. Pat. My friend. Light of my life, hope of my existence. You are telling me that these tiny rats-

P: These. *proudly points the rats out*

L: …with their TINY rat hands-

P: *squeals* So tiny! 

L: …are going to use this very complicated human-based mechanism-

P: Exactly!

L: …that you are apparently going to built out of a STURDY BELT- 

P: *rotatets said belt in the air*

L: *one last deep, slow intake of a breath* …for SWINGING.

P: *shrugs* I dunno, maybe!

L: *screams* WHY

P: I DON’T KNOW LOGAN I JUST WANT OUR RATS TO HAVE A SWING 

the Scene in episode six where aziraphale and crowley are drinking in the dark after almostgeddon? the two of them sitting on opposite sides of the bench? kept apart by the physical barrier of the box containing the four horsemen’s gear? when an ordinary human takes the box away from between them, literally AND metaphorically removing everything keeping them apart? them getting on the bus together and sitting right next to each other after that? “you can stay at my place if you like”? “you don’t have a side anymore; neither of us do”?