He's there.

After all these time, he finally showed up. At the only exact place I have been expecting. Planned a million words, thought of a million questions I

wanted to know from him.

Now he’s there, his face, his body, his presence. I cannot help but feeling so nostalgic. But somehow, I am paralyzed, I cannot make a single move, say a single word; my mind went blank. No more crying, no more hurt (cause I wonder what they did to help after all), only desire, only curiosity.

Greatness above, please lend me a hand. You let me found him, please give me a chance for the revelation. Maybe to rekindle a unique friendship, or maybe just to make moving on easier…


- Test is in 4 hours and I’m no where near being ready. Im destined to bomb this.
- Having so many social networks hella distract me from my real life.
- Another night of insomnia last night.
- The cold is getting way better, so now I just finished eating a subway and sipping on some McCafe.
- Also using like 5 different OSes for my devices annoys the crap outta me when I have to keep up with all the apps and shits.
- With all this going on, idk why I keep wondering I’m still single.

I'm sick, and fanboying.

I’ve got the flu from the rest of the family. What I hate the most from flu outbreak is my sinus problems, they waterfalled my nose and only let me breathe on one side at a time. Lord, I feel suffocated and drown in my own fluid.

In another news, Aaron, who I had a crush on, text me back after like 2 months (after I drunk texted my crush on him). Nothing personal, he asked about his w2 and tax paper, but he’s texting me y'all!! I know I shouldn’t let my hopes up, but I’m fan-boying all over right now. And Valentine’s Day is coming up, and he’s texting me y'all!

Reading the news Something Like Autumn is coming out, the first person I wanted to break the news to was you. For a moment, I was so excited that I reacted like you were still there beside me. When I tempted to pull out my phone and texted you, the damn reality hit… It’s been freaking 6 months, it still got me almost everyday.. I hope you have known about this and you would be excited too! - Love, Neil.

The past 24 hours has been eventful, mentally.

Up to the age of 23, I finally tried smoking weeds last night. First impression was the smell was weird, like some burnt Chinese herbs. Instead of feeling high, I felt extremely nostalgic last night. Then the next morning I came to work feeling like shit. All them bitches and niggas are shitz.
After a whole shit loads of sodas and coffee, I finally got the hang of the days. And I felt excitastic again. And working with Aaron was the best thing. Maybe because I like him, but I think dude treats me differently from others (even though he’s still a childish selfish frat freshman boy). I taught him to speak some Vietnamese today, and it was super adorable, I mean the way he said it. :)


1- I got into the new schedule of work and school. Coupled with that was to figure out my routine to have “freedom” time, when I could sneak out and had a taste of the previous life. I dedicated Saturday morning is the time I had for myself that nobody needed to know what I do. No regret! I was being both desperate and rebellious. 


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