neil's a liar

anonymous asked:

Andreil meet when they get dragged into a bar fight and somehow end up in jail together 😇

When it comes to fight or flight, Neil has spent almost all of his life picking the latter. Except on an exy court, but even there, if he can get away from someone without getting hit, that is definitely the option he’s going with.

Which is why when he finds himself getting dragged away from a brawl, cuffed, tossed in the back of a police car, and driven to jail, it feels a little bit surreal.

He doesn’t even drink. He was at the club in the first place because Matt turned twenty-six at midnight and wanted to celebrate at a night out with all his friends. Most of them were drunk. Neil was not.

So he doesn’t have that as an excuse.

Still: his causes were noble, even if his actions weren’t. And his personal moral philosophy has always been strictly on the side of “ends justify the means,” especially if the ends are keeping his drunk best friend from getting robbed on the floor of a nightclub by a couple of guys twice Neil’s size.

Matt is pretty good in a fight most of the time, but drunk and concussed, he’s not much help. Neil took on all three of the guys on his own anyway—his job being, after all, at least partially just fighting people—and was about to lose very badly when a stranger joined in.

Neil didn’t expect the stranger to be on his side. The stranger was.

And now they’re in the back of a cop car together.

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  • [Everyone is standing around the broken unscrewed locker]
  • Andrew: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
  • Renee: ...I did. I broke it.
  • Andrew: No. No you didn't. Aaron?
  • Aaron: Don't look at me. Look at Nicky.
  • Nicky: What?! I didn't break it.
  • Aaron: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
  • Nicky: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
  • Aaron: Suspicious.
  • Nicky: No it's not!
  • Allison: If it matters, probably not, but Neil was the last one to change yesterday
  • Neil: Liar! I don't even change in here!
  • Allison: Oh really? Then what were you doing by Andrew's locker earlier?
  • Neil: I steal one of his cigarettes after every practice... Everyone knows that Allison!
  • Renee: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Andrew.
  • Andrew: No! Who broke it?
  • Matt : Andrew...Kevin's been awfully quiet.
  • Kevin: REALLY?!
  • [Everyone starts angrily arguing]
  • Andrew: [being interviewed in the other room] I broke it. The padlock wouldn't unlock so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

anonymous asked:

writing prompt (if u want) : andrew and neil met before while neil was someone else and broke andrew's heart by leaving/vanishing/faking death/idfk and then neil just shows up like no ?? u are like chris or some name and u r dead what is going on and how dare u

so we’re going to pretend im not the shittiest person ever and didn’t take like a week to write this 2000 word thing but anyways hope u like it :)


The shock of the exy racquet crashing into Neil’s stomach was secondary to the shock that came from seeing Andrew Spear again.  While his lungs screamed for air, his brain screamed for an escape.  To run.  And never stop running again.

The edges of his vision turned as black as the shirt Andrew wore the first time they’d met those few years ago.  It had been a startlingly warm day, aided by the fact that Nathaniel and his mother had just migrated south again from Montreal.  California was everything and nothing that Nathaniel, no, Chris, had expected.  It was hot, and there was the smell of salt in the air from the Pacific Ocean – that Chris had known would be there.  He hadn’t counted on people being so open.  Maybe that’s why he was so drawn to Andrew, a spot of darkness against the ever sunny sky.  Andrew had never been an easy read.

The first time Andrew spoke to him, it was because he had gotten into a fight with a teacher.  Neil had left the classroom at the end of the day with his head down, hugging his books close to his body.  He didn’t know how long he’d stay here, but the fact that his mother had let him attend school was a good sign that they’d be in California for a while.  Still it wasn’t a good idea to make friends or have ties here.  Nobody should remember his face.

“You know,” Neil had heard him say as he passed a tree on the edge of the school’s property, “For someone who’s trying to keep a low profile you sure do love to get in a fight.”

He turned and came face to face with the blonde.  Andrew hadn’t mastered the look of complete apathy yet and his eyes revealed the tiny spark of interest Neil had put there.

“For someone who’s barely four feet tall you sure do love antagonizing people,” Neil responded.

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more spy au for @badacts! andreil’s first meeting: 

“Can you not stand behind me like that?” Neil says, turning to Agent Boyd. “You’re looming.”

Boyd shrugs, apologetic.

“Sure,” he says. He phrases it like a question. There’s a small huff from the receptionist leaning on the desk - it could be amusement or sympathy, with how Boyd towers over them both, but something about the flint-set of his eyes, the hook of his mouth in counterpoint to the cut of his jaw -

Yeah, Neil’s being laughed at. See, here’s the thing: Neil never quite learnt to sit and take shit from strangers. The only person who could ever mock him back into line was his mother, and she burnt up state lines and lifetimes away. All Neil had left was ashes on his forehead, a reverse blessing, sticking to his hands like tar.

“You pull this on everyone?” he says, and he makes his voice mean.

“Sorry?” Boyd says, his eyes puppy-wide.  

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Neil tells him. “I was talking to your friend.”

The receptionist - or rather, the man who really, really wants Neil to think he’s a receptionist - blinks once, black-clad and lizard-slow. His smile slips up, just a fraction.

“Oh,” Boyd says. “You’re - are you talking about Andrew?”

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Do you ever think about Andrew laying on a cot next to Neil in an interrogation room? About Andrew staying awake, staring at Neil–bandaged and bruised and exhausted from the last 48 hours of torture and reliving his fear and trauma–and how it’s probably the first time Andrew can reflect on having complete clarity of Neil? 

Of Andrew letting his eyes drift from Neil’s face, to his hands curled into his chest, to the scars Andrew knows are hiding underneath Neil’s shirt? Of Andrew’s eyes drifting from Neil’s cot to the space between the beds to the edge of his own and possibly thinking for the first time, maybe he could do this??? Maybe he could let someone close to him, maybe that was the next trade off between them? Neil giving Andrew the story he’s owed him in exchange for the chance to earn more trust, in exchange for proximity.

Andrew just, in the light of all the new information, re-merging over and over Neil: the problem, Neil: the liar, Neil: the flashing hazard light with Neil: the warm rush in Andrew’s stomach, Neil: the molten blue eyes, Neil: the jagged, cold spike through Andrew’s chest, and trying to fit the pieces together to reform a person again 


His body was a patchwork of scars-a canvas of raised lines and white, taut skin. Andrew’s black bands helped, but nothing stopped the wide-eyed looks to the remnants of his cheek and the scars on his hands. He didn’t blame the onlookers, it was only natural to stare. You pay attention to the differences. Hell, it’s how he’d survived this long, so he could at least understand that. But in a heartbeat, what started out as a glance morphed into morbid curiosity and that made Neil’s throat clench tight.

It shouldn’t have bothered him and when he finally took a deep breath and slowed his racing thoughts, he realized it really didn’t. But in that instant, there was a slow, stretch of panic that turned his stomach upside down. It was the sharp inhale of surprise, the quiver of a hand, or the ever-apparent grimace on the stranger’s face that set his nerves aflame.

And in that moment Neil wanted to run. To avoid eye contact, turn on his heel and walk the other way, away from their curiosity and their roving eyes. Such things were threats, or had been at least, to his very existence.  

And now he was living in a world where he had invited such speculation in.

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i know y'all have been gunning for a tfc tv show but I’m about to make all ur dreams come true…….. All For the Game: The Musical

  • holy shit.. i know
  • a 3-act musical for each book… it would be long as hell (at least 3 hours), but it would be Worth It
  • show opens with the song “Running”, neil is introduced
  • the exposition is laid quickly followed by the upbeat track “Meet the Monsters”
  • “Better Luck Next Time” -andrew n neils first duet
  • they’re are a Lot of andreil duets; some of everyone’s favs are “You’re a Fox”, “Upping the Percentage”, “I’d Go Back For You”, “Oh, Neil”, “You Liar!”, and “Yes or No?”
  • actually this musical is just half sexually charged duets, half exy games
  • not that anyone is complaining
  • also the training song sequence
  • eden twilight’s music is sultry and sexy and the lighting is low
  • ‘I’m fine” “I’m fine reprise” “I’m (not) fine” (to the tune of i’m fine)
  • “I can be calm” “Ok That Time Didn’t Work Lets Try This Again” “Well Fuck That Noise (Riko I Hate You)” all neil solos…. all fantastic
  • all of neil’s clapbacks ……. rapped
  • speaking of that…..andrew and allison? they rap battle
  • renee has the most beautiful solo…. she’s so talented
  • riko thankfully only gets one song in the entire musical, titled ‘The Raven King’ but it gets interrupted about five lines in bc Neil starts singing over him
  • “I do what I want” - andrew minyard’s first solo but the choreography is the exact same from bet on it in hsm 2
  • Kevin always, ALWAYS breaking the fourth wall and monologuing how much he hates his team to the audience
  • the guy who plays Kevin is a fan favorite, arguably his acting is the best and his song “Never Been Skiing” sold like crazy
  • when shit starts to get sadder……songs start to get sadder
  • the song “Nathaniel” left everyone in the audience in tears… holy shit don’t forget the scene in act 2 
  • and the other scene in act 2…..fuck
  • there’s lots of crying.. like any good musical
  • but also its funny.. like nicky has some really comedic lines and his song (“I just want a gay friend”) is fantastic…
  • its so uplifting too!!!”
  • u can’t tell me that they didnt somehow fit the music to no scrubs by tlc, zero to hero from the hercules soundtrack, and wannabe by the spice girls in this production
  • this show gains a cult following
  • tony’s are won……. shitty high school productions are put on….. its truly amazing

add to this if you want!!! credit also to @skysap for giving me ideas!!!

anonymous asked:

This time i ACTUALLY checked to make sure the person i'm rambling at knows what night vale is. Andreil WTNV AU where Andrew is the host and Renee is his bowling friend(old woman Josie) who talks to angels and Neil comes into town (who is he? what does he want?) and Andrew hates him instantly. Maybe Allison is the woman who secretly lives in your house because she knows everything idk. Dan or Wymack is station management? Also Andrew saying "Riko" like Cecil says "Steve Carlsberg"

yo I love wtnv, it’s super fun to listen to while drawing!!

but Andrew as a radio host?? 

  • “On today’s news, Neil The Liar is being an idiot again.”
  • (”What is he hiding??”)
  • “Brought to you by Station Management, who keeps trying to tell me what to do.”
  • “Come join us at Nicky’s bar to watch Kevin get flat-out drunk.”
  • “Did you see Neil The Liar in those jean shorts?? Disgusting.”
  • “Renee, who lives with angels (which are not real, stop looking at me like that, Station Management) is currently baking brownies. They smell like old socks.”
  • “Reminder that Big Riko’s pizza fucking sucks.”
  • “The cat floating in the bathroom is now named Sir Fat Cat McCatterson. Someone get it out.”
  • “Today’s fun fact - wait, Neil’s calling. Better find out what he did this time. Hi, babe -”
You Were Amazing

Andrew’s side of the *deep breath as voice cracks due to feels* Baltimore incident.


“Thank you. You were amazing.”
These words rang in Andrew’s head. They were like a bell, constantly reminding him of his own stupidity. His inability to guess the implication of these five words. How had he not seen it? Neil hadn’t looked that sad in months.

“Thank you. You were amazing.”
Ding dong. The bell swung forward again and smashed his forehead as he picked up Neil’s fallen duffel and his racket. Anger welled up inside him. Neil had told him he’d come back for could he do that if he himself was lost?

The volcano of anger inside him threatened to erupt any second. “We can’t find Neil.”, Wymack had told him. He refused to believe that. He was sure Neil was waiting somewhere, waiting for Andrew to find him. Even if Andrew wanted to beat the fuck out of him for what he had done.

They all were waiting when Andrew stepped on the bus. None of the foxes had ever seen Andrew display so much emotion, even if it was mainly anger. They understood and wisely remained silent. Andrew went back to Neil’s seat. He had just kissed that boy here a few hours ago. He pressed his fingers to his lips, wanting to erase the pressure of Neil’s lips on his. Wanting to erase Neil from his mind. His eye still hurt, but he’d been through worse. This was worse.

Matt was completely silent. Guilt was clawing at his insides. He had promised he’d be there for Neil at the start of the year. Renee and Allison both were silent, seated next to each other for comfort. Aaron was asleep. Nicky didn’t know what to do or say, he was just a sad mess. Dan was furiously pacing up and down. “Where the fuck can Josten be right now?”, Dan’s brows were furrowed with concern.

Kevin was sat beside Andrew, occupying one full seat. Kevin was unusually white. Being a coward was nothing new for him, Andrew thought, but this was the palest Kevin had ever been. “What do you know Day?”, Andrew asked with a calm no one believed. Kevin opened his mouth to say something but no words escaped. He grew even whiter. In an instant Andrew’s hands were around Kevin’s throat. “I asked, what the fuck do you know Day?”, Andrew smiled as he whispered, “Think before you answer. You may not get another chance.”

The uproar his teammates caused when they saw this fell deaf on Andrew’s ears. All he could hear was the sound Kevin’s pulse beating fast under his palm. He brushed a thumb across the base of Kevin’s throat and tightened his grip.
“You have two seconds.”, Kevin was gaping like a fish. He couldn’t breathe let alone talk. And then the pressure was gone. His head swam. His vision was blurry. He saw Andrew being hauled back by Matt, Nicky and Renee. Aaron was completely awake now.
Kevin stared at Andrew. Andrew had murder in his eyes, a feral smile on his lips and a sharp knife in his hand. Kevin began to talk.

Liar. Liar. Liar. Neil Josten was a lie. But Andrew understood why he’d done so. That son of a bitch junkie trying to be a martyr. Again. If he wasn’t dead already, Andrew was going to kill him. “We can go see him.”, Wymack said softly as he started the bus as fast as possible. Good, Andrew thought, I need to see him.

The FBI was a pain in the ass as per usual. Just because Andrew had knocked out two or three cops who refused to tell him where Neil was, shouldn’t amount to him being handcuffed to Wymack.

The door of the hotel room opened, and there was his junkie. Looking like he’d been through hell. Looking like he’d burnt through hell, destroying everything, including himself, in his path.

“Thank you. You were amazing.”, was all Andrew heard as he put his hand to the back of Neil’s neck.
“Thank you. You were amazing”, was all he heard as he sank down in front of Neil.
“Thank you. You were amazing.”, was all he heard as he unwrapped each and every one of Neil’s gruesome bandages.
“Thank you. You were amazing”, was all he heard as Neil finally, finally touched Andrew’s face and confirmed that he wasn’t a pipe dream or a hallucination.
He was real. He was alive. He was Andrew’s. And they were together. That’s all that would ever really matter anyway.

anonymous asked:

"Neil The Liar" Omfg. I love you.

an incomplete list of things Neil’s been called on air:

  1. Newcomer Neil
  2. Neil The Liar
  3. Rabbit boy
  4. That fucking idiot
  5. Oh, Neil
  6. Neil With A Deathwish
  7. Oh, Neil
  8. Junkie
  9. Why-won’t-he-leave-me-alone
  10. Why-won’t-he-stop-saying-nice-things-about-me
  11. Abram
  12. I’d blow him
  13. Neil The Pipedream
  14. Neil The Truth
  15. Neil, my partner
  16. (Babe)

anonymous asked:

Top 10 favorite Andreil lines/moments

Ajjaiwvwhacah this was so hard and I’m sure I’m missing half of my faves but here 10:

1.“There is no ‘this’. This is nothing.” “And I am nothing,” Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, “And as you’ve always said, you want nothing.”

2.“Don’t look at me like that. I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren’t mine.

3.I hate you,” Andrew said casually. He took a last long drag from his cigarette and flicked it off the roof. “You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.”
“I’m not a hallucination,” Neil said, nonplussed.
“You are a pipe dream,” Andrew said.

4.Thank you,” he finally said. He couldn’t say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. “You were amazing.

5.“If you have to keep asking - I’ll answer it as many times as you ask. But this is always going to be yes.”
“Don’t ‘always’ me.

6."You’re a terrible liar,” Neil said, and Andrew kissed him into silence.

7.Andrew kissed him like this was a fight with their lives on the line, like his world stopped and started with Neil’s mouth.

“You are a Fox. You are always going to be nothing”

9.“Remember this feeling. This is the moment you stop being the rabbit.”

10.“I didn’t think I was a personal problem. You hate me, remember?” “Every inch of you,” Andrew said. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.” The world tilted a little bit sideways. Neil dug his shoes harder into the floor so he wouldn’t fall over. “You like me.” “I hate you,” Andrew corrected him, but Neil barely heard him.

anonymous asked:

I saw your Night Vale AU and may I suggest a thing: "Matt Boyd, you know, the giant"

Amidst Night Vale’s many concerning traits (the town’s complete isolation, the horrible radio host, the fact that Neil can’t seem to leave), probably the most normal thing is Matt Boyd, who lives in the apartment next to Neil’s. He’s nice, if not a little bit friendlier than Neil’s comfortable with, and is the only one in this hellhole who can be trusted to bring him food that won’t try to kill him.

For some reason everyone in Night Vale is convinced that Matt’s a giant.

Neil scowls at the radio, which, like always, does not turn off no matter what he does. Andrew’s been going on and on about Matt (you know, the giant), and it’s seriously pissing him off. Yes, Matt’s definitely on the tall side, but he’s still within a normal size range. Andrew, on the other hand, is probably short enough to be a goblin.

“Matt Boyd, you know, the giant,” Andrew says over air, “Has recently been spending unusual amounts of time fraternizing with town newcomer, Neil the Liar. We are all aware of the trouble Neil poses to Night Vale, and that is why it is dangerous for them to be making contact. I believe that it is in all of our best interests to find someone more suitable to head the Newcomer Welcoming Committee. Matt Boyd, you know, the giant, is all too likely to divulge valuable Night Vale secrets, as it is a hereditary trait within all giants to be horrible secret keepers. Radio hosts, on the other hand, would only tell secrets about to become public anyways, which is why I would be a perfect candidate. Think about it. In other news -”

Rolling his eyes, Neil considers trying to muffle the radio with his blanket or something. It’d be futile, since then the radio would start broadcasting right into his head, but maybe the action itself would prove therapeutic.

He pulls out his map book, one of his oldest possessions, and growls in frustration. Every single page is blank, and Neil’s more sure than ever that this bloody town’s conspiring to keep him here.

Andrew’s Foolproof Method for Shutting Neil Up

    “Nine percent of the time I don’t want to kill you. I always hate you.”
    “Every time you say that I believe you a little less.”
    “No one asked you.” With that, Andrew caught Neil’s face in his hands and leaned in.

    “That’s a first,” Neil said. “Do I get a prize for shutting you up?”
    “A quick death,” Andrew said. “I’ve already decided where to hide your body.”
    “Six feet under?” Neil guessed.
    “Stop talking,” Andrew said, and kissed him.

    “The only one I’m interested in is you.”
    “Don’t say stupid things.”
    “Stop me,” Neil returned. He buried his hands in Andrew’s hair and tugged him in for a kiss. 

    Neil still felt like he was falling. He did fall afterward, albeit in a controlled slide down the wall, gasping for breath and dizzy with burnt-out need.
    “Do you want—” he started, voice ragged.
    Andrew kissed him to shut him up.

    “I’ll get bored of you eventually.”
    “You sure?” Neil asked. “Rumor has it I’m pretty interesting.”
    “Don’t believe everything you hear.”
    Neil ignored that dismissal because Andrew was already pulling him down again. They kissed until Neil felt dizzy…

    “I won’t be like them,” Neil said. “I won’t let you let me be.”
    “One hundred and one,” Andrew said, “going on one hundred and two.”
    “You’re a terrible liar,” Neil said, and Andrew kissed him into silence.

Positive reinforcement means Neil is going to end up running his mouth. A lot. Clever, Andrew.

Lucky Neil.