neighboring walls

january 29th. nothing out of the ordinary. tjlc collectively sighs, takes off our tinfoil hats, some disappointed and others expectant. we go on netflix, tumblr, youtube, everywhere just to escape for a bit. our screens flicker. did you. must be a connectivity issue. keeps flickering. miss me? you hear the neighbors complaining through the walls, the newscaster is unsure of what to do as his teleprompter freezes up. the flickering increases, static and glitchy, and oh. could it be? andrew scott faces the screen, a manic grin on his face, “did you miss me? did you miss me? did you miss me?” the bastards did it, by god they did it. you pull out your phone; the same face. did you miss me? you can’t dial anything. your alarm clock has the words scrolling rapidly across its screen in stiff letters; did you miss me? did you miss me? you run downstairs to your family. your mother is in the kitchen. it’s andrew scott in a wig. “did you miss me, dear?” your sister is doing homework at the table, but it’s andrew scott again, carving ‘did you miss me’ into the wood. the dog is andrew scott, naked, napping by the fire. oh shit. you run outside, thunder rolling overhead, only to glimpse andrew scott jogging past with short shorts and a sports bra. across the street, the 90 year old man shuffling his garbage to the curb is just andrew scott in a robe with a scowl. the secret is unraveling. somewhere, mark and steven are laughing and triumphant in their glee. the rug pull. never been done before. television history. the thunder says, “did you miss me?” you tilt your face up to the sky, letting yourself finally smile. you feel your face. it’s andrew’s. “did you miss me?” you whisper as the rain begins to fall.

welcome to the final problem.

                    Jacksepticeye Sentence Starters!
                                           (Some NSFW)

Typical conversation starters:

  •  "Don’t trust anyone, because everybody is a douchebag.“
  • “That shit is so deep, Adele could roll in it.”
  • “That’s not even a word, I’m making up words now, just to describe
  • how terrible my life is!”
  • “I have no idea what I’m doing…”
  • “Mama’s pissed right now…”
  • "I wish I could crush my neighbors with a wall…”  
  • “I don’t know why, but why the fuck not?”
  • “Look at the shadow…that is terrifying.”
  • “Don’t say things you’ll regret…don’t say things people can make fun of you over.”
  • “Oh, that is kinda clever…also kinda annoying.” 
  • "I demand wine. Wine!”
  • “Shh, no tears, only dreams now.”
  • “Something’s up, I can tell.”
  • “I’m complementing you, not trying to get into your pants…”
  • “ I’ve been eating pretzels, they’re so good. Have you ever just opened a bag of salty pretzels and you can’t stop eating them? They’re sooooo good. I want to make love to them…you heard nothing!”

 

Annoyed/Angry:

  • “I actually don’t like seeing you that happy, could you be a little sadder, please?”
  • “I can barley hear you over the sound of how dead you are!”
  • “Could you just stop for five fucking minutes?” 
  • “All I did was kiss your wife…”
  • “You son of a dick!’
  • "Go fuck yourself!”
  • “Go stick your head in a dick!”
  • “Die, you mother fucker!”
  • “That’s bull to the shit!“
  • "I don’t like five, five can go to hell.”
  • “Shut up, I’m talking!”
  • “Hey! Wake up so I can kill you!”
  • “Oh yeah, that’s great….I’m so happy you’re talking to me…”
  • “Here take the phone, it’s your physiatrist, he says you’re an annoying asshole.”

 

NSFW:

  •  "Rome wasn’t built in a day…and neither were babies.“ 
  • "SURPRISE BUTT SEX!”
  • “Do you mind if I fab?”
  • “They’re doing the hover hug.”
    “___, you lookin’ good!”
  • “You guys need a sex swing.”
  • “I’ll finger you, see what happens…”
  • “Did you get that sweet goat ass?”
  • “That’s a boy…stop humping the ground.”
  • “Is this an erotic statue of two men mud wrestling?”
  • “Should I slap the girl on the ass when she comes out?”
  • “Why don’t you take me out to dinner first, before you decide to fuck me?!”

 

Random:

  • “I’m getting smacked with my own snake!”
  • “Look at these plus one biceps!”
  • “I’m a pretty little flower!”   
    “Oh, Jesus Christ, I do have the force!”
  • “That shouldn’t have worked, but it did.”
  • “I’M A MOTHER FUCKING DRAGON!" 
  • "I like it, how you can see through all the windows." 
  • "I came here for the same reason people go to the zoo.”
  • “That is a nice cauldron, a very fucking nice cauldron…”
  • “So…how you creepy bastards doin’?”
  • “This is not gonna be my first time in the bathroom with a goat in my lifetime, and last time was just as fucking magical." 
  • "You guys are yelling and I want ice cream!”
  • “Um…hello? Yeah, I’m here with two crazy people. Please get me out of here!”

Always gonna steal your thunder,
Watch me like a dark cloud.
On the move collecting numbers,
Gonna take your girl out.

independent.co.uk
Britain is building a massive wall to keep refugees out
The UK is going to build a 13ft wall in Calais to block refugees from crossing the channel, the Government has announced. "People are still getting through," immigration minister Robert Goodwill told the Home Affairs Select Committee. "We have done the fence, now we are doing the wall."
bedtime

pairing: reader x jeon jungkook
genre: college dorm fluff

components: jungkook. cute neighbor. thin walls. frustrating bed.
count: 1472 words
requested: based on the prompt sent in by @miellllyyyyyyyy, i hope you like it and i’m sorry i didnt keep it platonic in the end l o l 
warning(s): sexual implications

Jungkook felt his nerves buzz in excitement. It was move-in day at his university and so far the students have been great, including all the seniors he’s befriended, some even more jittery than the freshmen (looking at you, Taehyung), and also the few floor-mates who had arrived. He wasn’t particularly outgoing, preferring to walk down the street with earphones on to avoid awkward eye contact, but he figured that it wouldn’t hurt to try and greet his neighbors. He hit it off with a few of them and already made promises to hang out later.

It couldn’t be any more perf — thump.

He blinked at his wall.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Was that — no, it couldn’t be. Pink tinged his cheeks as his ears strained to pick up the sound coming from the room right next to this. More thumping, then grunting. Pressing his ear against the wall, he could hear the sounds more clearly. Groaning followed after. He blushed when he realized what he was doing and jumped away from the wall. It wasn’t polite to eavesdrop especially if it came down to sexual endeavors.

He wasn’t unfamiliar with the freshmen tendencies and rumors but he was surprised someone was already doing this this early on in the school year. He was mildly disturbed and impressed at the same time.

However, when the whispered-screams began to repeat, he couldn’t ignore it anymore. What if the person was in trouble? He probably should keep his head down and not get involved. But what if the person was getting attacked? Chewing on his bottom lip, he could feel the guilt begin to plague him if anything ever happened to the person next door.

What’s the harm, right? If they didn’t turn out to be in trouble, he’ll only have one person — or maybe two depending on where said sex partner lived —  hating him in this building. He popped his head out the door and found no one in sight so he crept over next door, finding a female name plastered with a golden snitch, apt to the Harry Potter theme of the floor. Knocking lightly on the door, he nervously rocked back and forth on his feet, actually hoping that the person wouldn’t answer because that would mean that she was probably having—

“What do you want?!” The girl who stood in front of him had her hair piled on top of her head, a hair tie keeping her hair in its messy place. Her initial glare quickly dissolved when she saw him and his tall frame that towered over hers. “S-Shit, I’m sorry for snapping. My stupid bed just freaking annoys me and I was so mad. And yeah…” She trailed off, letting the empty silence hang over them for a second or two before she continued, “But can I help you with something?” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and coughed.

Jungkook took the time to observe her and found that she was pretty cute even when she looked distressed. “I — uh — heard noises so I thought you needed help so I just… knocked.”

The two of them stood in front of each other as the air grew heavy with the silence. She chewed on her bottom lip before shrugging, “Yeah, sort of. I’m kind of temperamental and my sheets wouldn’t cover the bed and it was driving me insane, hence the animal noises. I can assure you that I’m not letting anyone jump into my bed that fast, if that’s what you’re assuming.”

“Not that I was assuming you’d be easy!” God, Jungkook might as well slap on a strip of duct tape over his mouth. “I mean, I was just concerned and I thought I’d help. I mean, I can help.” There. Keep it simple, Jungkook. This girl looked like she could be a vicious enemy, a force to be reckoned with.

“That’ll actually be really great,” she sighed, a small smile settling on her lips. The hostile aura that had surrounded her seemed to disappear as she creaked her door open to let him in. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook. I live in 1412.” He jerked his head in the direction of the room before following her towards her bed. “Oh, you have a single room too. It’s nice and spacious, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I think I would’ve scared my roommate away if she found me cursing at my bed.” She laughed and that sound thawed Jungkook’s heart. She really was cute. Like a tiny fireball of anger but when she simmered down, she’s like… a marshmallow. Soft, gooey marshmallow. That probably wasn’t the best comparison but that was the best he could come up with at the moment. “Yeah, this is my bed. I can’t really lift it.”

He looked at it for a second before effortlessly picking it up and letting you adjust the bedsheets. With the t-shirt he had on, she could clearly see the muscles bulging in his arm. As she worked on getting the sheets around the bed, she pointed out, “You’re really strong. Are you in for sports?”

“Nope, music.” Her eyebrows jumped and he chuckled. “Didn’t peg me down as the artsy type?”

“I thought you were more of the frat, football-scholarship kind of guy.” She shrugged.

Jungkook let the mattress drop back into place carefully before nodding and giving her an understanding look. “I get that a lot.”

“Well, here.” Holding out her fist, she dropped something into Jungkook’s palm. It was a piece of strawberry milk candy and, coincidentally, his favorite. “As a thank you. I have a shit ton of it and God knows my life depends on it.”

“I love this too,” he grinned. And that grin was blinding and she felt her heart stop for a second as if heaven had descended onto the earth. If there was such a thing as love at first sight, this would be it. Love at first sight had smacked her straight in the face and sent her reeling to heaven. Or hell, depending on whether the sinful thoughts in her head would have God shoving her to the underworld or not. “Thanks for this.”

“No, thank you. I would’ve ripped the mattress to shreds if it weren’t for you.”

“I’m always glad to be of help. Feel free to drop by my room if you ever need anything. Door’s always open.”

She flashed him a mischievous smile that had him blushing in an instant, “That’s a very suggestive proposition, Jeon Jungkook. Do you know girls can take advantage of that piece of information too?”

Clearing his throat, he scratched his cheek awkwardly. His mouth opened and closed in an attempt to form a coherent response. “I mean, uh, I guess — I just thought — if you need help — with anything — nothing sexual, I mean — not that sexual stuff is bad, I just—” There he was a stammering mess with one implicative comment from her.

A laugh bubbled up from her throat again and Jungkook felt himself smiling, the end of his lips turning upwards unconsciously. “I’m just kidding,” she grinned. “Thank you though for being polite about it. Anyway, no judgment here. As long as you keep it down during quiet hours, we’ll get along just fine.”

“Do you want to get lunch with me?” He blurted out. Was that too fast? He wasn’t sure. But he really wanted to keep talking to her because he found her so cute and so feisty and she was so intriguing.

“Why, Jungkook, I thought you’d never ask.” She smiled but then gestured to the stack of boxes around her. “Unfortunately, I’ll have to finish unpacking all my things first and I have a lot of things.”

“I can help.”

“Is this you trying to get your hands on my underwear?”

“N-No! I was just offering and I thought—”

She giggled again, “Help me unload my clothes? I’ll deal with my underwear, you little pervert.”

A few months — 32 dates, 18 stolen kisses, 3 way-too-intense make out sessions — later, Jungkook hovered over her, lips attaching to her skin that elicited a moan out of her throat. Entering her was like a dream come true and Jungkook could hear the angels singing from above as he went—

“Oh wow.” She whispered.

“I know, you feel so good.” He muttered, placing his lips on hers again.

“Not that, I mean the wall really does make the same sound. Thump, thump. No wonder you thought I was having sex the first day.”

He growled, “Are you kidding me right now?”

She exploded into laughter before she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling her down onto him. She bit on his earlobe, sending shivers down his spine, “Take me home, Jeon Jungkook.”

Play that clarinet at 0300 ONE MORE TIME, I dare you

The signs as things I heard my dorm neighbors say through the wall:

(Quotes from 2 football players who my sister and I lived next to our 1st year of college)

Taurus: “I’ll put this cactus in my ass”
Leo: “I almost dropped my croissant”
Capricorn: “All I see is dead bodies”
Aquarius: “#NeverListenToJeff”
Cancer: “What the Fuck is this, Jose?
Aries: “I can’t see outta my right eye. I got sriracha in my right eye.”
Virgo: ”I got a death machine.“
Pisces: *raps entirety of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air*
Gemini: *loudly plays/sings along to Burnin’ Up by the Jonas Brothers*
Sagittarius: “No, stop talking about politics!”
Scorpio: “Whenever u talk about politics it makes me wanna slit my throat!”
Libra: “You’re not the only guy in my life, okay?”

@vangilst requested

Judy trying to leave an ex boyfriend and Nick comes to save the day!

I like this!


Judy’s breakup with Robert wasn’t exactly a bad breakup, but that being said, it also hadn’t ended on anything that was a good note, all the feelings are still raw, and real, and nasty.

Robert was there, at her apartment door, angry, pounding out her door and just yelling in grief of their relationship, and Judy was doing everything she could to just will him away and be as quiet as she could like it would make him think that she was gone.

Suddenly, it went quiet, only small little mutters on the other side of the before someone stormed off, Judy hurriedly ran to her door and peeked out to find Nick there, glaring down the hallway.

“We called your fox, that guy was real annoying!”  Her neighbors yelled through the wall.

AN: Yeah, Nick came to save Judy, the watched a stupid movie after.

imagine your otp being apartment neighbors with a shared wall. they hate each others taste in music, it always sounds like one of them is taking their frustration out on the wall and the other is constantly screaming at what is assumed a video game or sports. instead of taking the noise issue to the apartment owner, they slip rude notes under each others door quite often but one day, one of them catches the other doing so.

Sexts from a Poet

1. Interlock your fingers with mine and press my hands into the mattress. I want to be imprisoned by the chains of your arms. The lock on your lips has me trapped, and I don’t want to look for the key.

2. We melt together like the candles which burn beside our bed. I lose the boundary from where my skin ends and yours begins. My breath is your breath. My movements reflect your movements. My moans harmonize with your moans.

3. Make me gasp God’s name so loudly that God himself looks down and shouts back at us. I want to feel pleasure so strongly that my skin catches fire.

4. I don’t care if the neighbors hear. Our walls are quite thin anyway. I don’t care if the whole town hears. Our lust is so loud that lightening shattering cannot compare.

5. Turn the lights off. All is black except for the moonlight reflecting onto your bare back, moving over me like a ghost. I used to be afraid of the dark, but the silhouette of your curves made me feel otherwise.

[JW]