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I doubt anyone wanted this, but I made a Fire Emblem version of You Reposted in the Wrong Neighbourhood.

anonymous asked:

Au where petunia is a witch and lily is a muggle?

When the letter arrives, Lily is almost as excited as Petunia. She writes Albus Dumbledore to ask if she can go to, and if she cries a little when the answer comes back no she doesn’t tell anyone. Lily waves from the train platform, writes diligently, and listens with excitement whenever her big sister deigns to share stories of magic.

Petunia gets Sorted Slytherin, where she falls into a mutually-venemous friendship with Severus Snape, who she had considered dirty and poor when he was skulking around Lily in their little neighborhood, lighting leaves on fire like a baby arsonist, but who now seems like the best ally in a pool of ugly little fish.

The blood-purists are their normal asshole selves, which Petunia responds to with busybody eavesdropping, cruel gossip, and manipulative emotional bullying. Severus calls her mudblood in their fifth year (it’s not the first time) and joins the Death Eaters. Tuney calls him a greasy git of a wanker and they still have lunch away from prying eyes now and then.

When the war comes, Petunia does not fight in it. She marries a Hufflepuff boy named Vincent Dunsley who spends their entire first date telling her about his junior position in the Ministry and his planned thirty-six bureaucratic steps to the top of the food chain. Vincent has no problem with Muggleborns, or at least not ones who behave as properly as Petunia.

Lily does fight. She’s been reading the Daily Prophet for years as she sits through history class dreaming of brooms and punching bullies on the playground. At seventeen, she writes Albus Dumbledore again. When he still writes back no, she packs a bag and shows up on the Order’s doorstep.

Alice Longbottom gives her a place to stay, some spare robes, and teaches her how to fly– Lily hopes, wrapped in a warm blanket while they sip cocoa and discuss action plans, that if she’d gone to Hogwarts she’d have been good enough to get Sorted Hufflepuff. Frank beams at his wife in the dim yellow light.

Of the Marauders, Lily meets Sirius first– shaggy hair and strong bones, he’s a tall glass of water and he’s anxiously watching a skinny, scarred boy sleep on the sofa. They’re an hour off a mission and Remus crashed as soon as they got back to headquarters. The first thing Sirius Black, troublemaker and risktaker, says to her is “Shh! You walk like an elephant.”

She’d snap back, but Remus does look that worn down, curled on the cushions.

Peter and James are in the kitchen, shoveling sandwiches down their gullets that are the size of their heads. James staggers to his feet when she comes in. “Hi. Uh, new recruit?”

“Something like that.”

James shoves his hair out of his eyes with one hand and thrusts the other one out in her direction. “James Potter,” he says. “Beauxbatons? I don’t think I ever saw you at Hogwarts.”

She grins. “Lily Evans,” she says. “Cokeworth. And I’d shake your hand, but you’ve got mustard on it.”

Lily defies the Dark Lord and his forces three times, with James’s wand at her back, with Remus’s and Sirius’s and Peter’s. They tell her about Hogwarts and its secrets, and she brings them Muggle candy bars and the boxes of X-Men comic books from under her bed. No one gets chocolate smudges on her pages, under threat of James’s disappointed-in-you face, which he’s been practicing.

Severus Snape hears about a Muggle Evans on the warfront. “Petunia’s not a Muggle,” he snaps when Dolohov mocks him for it, but Crabbe cradles his broken arm and keeps talking– about green eyes, red hair like a war banner– and Severus’s stomach sinks low in his gut, cold and aching.

Severus Snape overhears a prophecy and he tells it to his Lord. Lily Evans Potter is the mother of a halfblood boy with a mess of dark hair. Lily is in Augusta Longbottom’s living room, playing peekaboo with Harry and Neville, because Alice and Frank are already in St. Mungo’s, because she does not know that she is soon to be not a soldier but a fugitive. Her child has no scars, yet.

On Halloween night 1981, Tom Riddle goes to the Godric’s Hollow home that Peter Pettigrew betrayed. He kills James in the front room, wand in hand. He kills Lily in the nursery, after giving her a chance to step aside. He tries to kill Harry, but he fails.

Harry goes to his closest living relatives– his aunt Petunia, uncle Vincent, and cousin Dudley. He sleeps in a little room just off the kitchen, which he thinks used to be a broom closet. They hate the attention he brings when he’s dragged behind his aunt at the grocery store, so they leave Harry home when they go to Diagon Alley, Ministry potlucks, or the evening shows that Dudley fusses through, fists full of pumpkin pasties.

Harry knows how to wash dishes by hand, how to cook bacon without burning it (most mornings), and how to capture the spiders in the broom closet and escort them carefully outside. For his birthday Dudley gets a toy broom. For his, Harry gets an Albus Dumbledore Chocolate Frog card because Dudley already has fifteen and didn’t want that one. Petunia likes to peer over the hedge into the yard of Mrs. Figg, the squib who lives next door, and snigger about how she has to do her laundry without magic.

When Harry is ten years old, his Hogwarts letter comes in the mail and the Dunsleys are surprised. “I wasn’t sure,” Petunia sniffs. “I mean, with my sister’s blood in you and everything, anything could have happened.”

quick note on fire safety 🔥

i know a lot of my spells involve a candle or something so i just wanted to review general fire safety with y’all (from ur friendly neighborhood fire-certified girl scout)

trying to avoid shit like this:

standard prep:

  • tie any hair back! hair burns very quickly
  • wear non-dangly attire. pull/tie back any droopy sleeves or similar. you need a clear view of the fire and to not put yourself in danger by being near it
  • have something to douse matches in immediately, like a cup of water or sand. don’t set blown-out matches down on flammable surfaces. 
  • vents! if you’re inside and lighting the equivalent to birthday candles, ventilation is not as large an issue, and sometimes can cause larger issues. however, burning large items is best done outside in a fire pit of sorts. do not burn chemicals, plastics, or unknown mixtures inside. 
  • dousing method: water, sand, appropriate level fire extinguisher. differently fueled fires require different methods of being put out, or it could cause a larger fire. 
  • contain the fire in a sandpit, rock circle, metal plate, etc. the immediate area needs to be non-flammable. 

things to note:

depending on the humidity level outside and the daily fire danger levels in your area, sparks that fly out of the fire can be possibly dangerous, especially in dry forested areas, and when the danger level is high. that being said, sparks flying from fires indoors are also an issue. so while ventilation is important, you don’t want to have wind spreading the fire, or sending things into the flame.

avoid burning oils if you have little fire experience, as putting an oil-based fire out with water will not put it out, but make it worse. 

if you are not confident in your ability to react and put out or handle a fire, please do not light any. please find a fire alternative for your spells, such as fire elementals like pepper, carnelian, red ink, or an led candle. 

happy casting!

unamedwatcher  asked:

How on earth did you guys survive summers without air conditioning? Mine went out two days ago and I'm about five minutes away from giving myself an ice cube enema just to make it through the heat.

it wasnt fun, thats for sure. though i’ll admit i never quite got to the point where that sounded like a good idea. 

mostly we acclimated–humans do this neat thing where our bodies can adapt to hot environments, but nowadays people just jump from air conditioned environment to air conditioned environment and dont build up that tolerance by staying in the heat. but back then, we just got used to it. that only goes so far though. 

the summer of 1936 was a nasty one. i mean, horribly, terribly, melt your bones hot. nobody wanted to do anything, it was just so hot. the whole city just wanted to find a shady spot and lie still until the heatwave passed.  people who had fire escapes off their apartments would sleep on them at night, so they wouldn’t have to be indoors, where it was even hotter and there was no moving air. neighborhoods broke open fire hydrants and cooled off that way–i once saw a man in a three piece business suit walk right into the spray from a hydrant, looking blissful as anything. some people carried umbrellas or parasols. people found bodies of water and got in them–rivers, ponds, public fountains, which was neither safe nor sanitary. places that sold cold drinks were packed, and vendors selling shaved ice on the streets sold out. 

but the best thing was the pools. that summer, the WPA opened 11 enormous new public outdoor swimming pools across the city. back then, they were the peak of technology. four of them were in brooklyn, and stevie and i tried out all of them. it was the social site of the season, so i was in fine form. 

it was great–stevie could swim pretty well, despite not having much muscle mass, and the chemicals didnt bother his asthma too much. whenever the two of us werent working, we were at one of those pools. really, it seemed like most of the city was in the water trying to cool off. 

one thing we didn’t have? sunscreen. that wasn’t really around until the war. im a bit darker than steve, and even i was lobster red after the first few days. i made it work–red is my color.

stevie, though. steve was so red he could stop traffic.

No, you can not say “nigga” if you’re not black.

“Nigger” is a term that was used when slave masters poked and prodded us while we were being live auctioned away from our family members on the streets, while white people determined our worth as workers with work so strenuous it could kill any person soon before their time.

“Nigger” is a term that was used against us as blisters formed on our fingers from the constant picking of cotton and other various forms of agricultural work.

“Nigger” was the term used when black woman gave birth to black babies that if they weren’t soon to become slaves for the rest of their miserable lives themselves then they were snuffed by their fearful mothers or fed to alligators alive as bait by our white captors instead.

“Nigger” was the term used when our white captors used hounds and shot guns to chase down runaway slaves hopeful for a glimpse of freedom forever denied by the white man who ran him down.

“Nigger” was the term used when the whip broke skin in such ways welts lasted for a lifetime serving as a reminder anytime we dared to challenge the system.

“Nigger” was the term used when the white man raped a black woman and she bore his child that would be striped from her to live in the plantation house, treated a little better but never ever as equal as his white children and forever still a “nigger” after all.

“Nigger” was the term used when we fought in white mans wars but still faced heavy discrimination in the north and even as free men.

“Nigger” was the term used when feminists couldn’t even fathom the thought that black men could vote before them because black men were far inferior to them.

“Nigger” is the term used when white women praise early white feminists as their heroes but to black people we see them as the racists that white womans privilege can afford to ignore.

“Nigger” was the term used when young boys and girls, men and women, elderly and pregnant women were lynched by the thousands throughout history.

“Nigger” was the term used when prominent civil rights leaders were murdered one after the other for daring to share churches, schools, and neighborhoods with white civilization.

“Nigger” was the term used when redlining and gentrification comes and forces black people to live generations upon generations in poverty.

“Nigger” was the term used when the fight for interracial marriage was seen as destroying traditional marriage because marrying a “nigger” was impure to the white race.

“Nigger” was the term used when black children were chased all the way home by angry white mobs, some unfortunate enough to get caught and lynched.

“Nigger” was the term used when black homes daring enough to stand in white neighborhoods were set on fire by angry white arsonists.

“Nigger” was the term used when the KKK resurrected and had such a strong political force that no one, not even police, touched them. Many political figures themselves were even a part of this group and the group is still alive today.

“Nigger” is the term used when the mis-education the the Black Panther Party is taught.

“Nigger” was the term used when our community is still targeted til this day by law enforcement through biased drug laws or something as simple as existing.

“Nigger” was the term used when white people came out in droves to defend the slaughter of a teenage boy who done nothing wrong, or the dozens and dozens of innocent black people slaughtered since.

“Nigger” is the term used everyday as strong reminders that white people still hate us in large numbers.

“Nigga” is the term used by black people to take the power that white people gave to “nigger” and reclaim it as a symbol of pride and reclaim as a means to dismantle your whiteness and privilege over us.

No you can not use that term if you’re not black because your history and story can never ever back up your need or desire to use that word.

You want to say “cracker” is the same.

3

At 26-years-old, DeWitt Charles Henry found his life unraveling. He was unable to hold a steady job and had just been fired by his most recent employer from a truck hauling company for being “threatening and belligerent.” Shorty after, his wife Vicki filed for divorce, and he reacted by forcing her at gunpoint to drive to a desolate area, where he threatened to kill her then himself if she didn’t return to him. Vicki promised she would stay only if he got rid of the weapon, so he threw it out of the window and they drove home together, but she left him the morning after. These problems were exacerbated one evening when he was kicked out of Uncle Albert’s, a tavern in Klamath Falls, Oregon, for starting a fight with another customer. Henry headed to another bar and told the server he would take revenge for being thrown out before returning to the place hours later. An argument soon erupted between him and the former owner, Bill Ransom, also his past boss from when he worked there as a bouncer, about an unpaid $180 bar bill. Henry reportedly told him “he had a list of people he was going to blow away and that he was going to put me at the top,” then warned a dishwasher of his plan: “I always liked you, just get on out of here.” As bar close approached on July 23, 1977, he waited in his truck in the parking lot, then opened fire with a .223-caliber civilian version of the M16 rifle at patrons leaving the tavern around 2:10 a.m. He fled in his pickup truck as a squad car arrived, and the officer pursued him until he was cornered in a neighborhood driveway. He began firing at the policeman, who then returned fire before Henry managed to get away by backing into the police car, and he was ultimately stopped when another officer crashed into him. Six people were murdered, including a woman who was eight months pregnant and two police officers were wounded. Henry himself was injured from being hit by buckshot in the shoulder and face.

Henry pleaded not guilty by mental disease or defect to six counts of first degree murder and two counts of attempted murder for the two wounded police officers. He mostly blamed his turbulent life situation and drug/alcohol use for the rampage, and he claimed to not remember anything after the fight until he woke up in the hospital. That defense failed, and he was found guilty on all counts, earning him six consecutive life sentences plus 40 years.

Old married McSpirk Headcanons bc my new friend is v persuasive

- Kirk is the type to ramble about old stories to all kinds of people - to kids who sit next to him on the bench or their waitress or whatever, he’ll tell them all about his encounters with the Klingons and new life forms and strange entities out in deep space; but his memory is going a little bit with his age. Spock always politely tells him “no, Jim, I am quite sure we learned the information on the assassination after you and the Doctor were beamed from the planet.”
- Bones is a lot more aggressive, teasing Jim about how he’s getting old when he remembers his little mistakes, but really, Bones is a little worried. He’s seen patients go through dementia and Alzheimer’s, and he’s afraid Jim will develop something like that. He gets worried about it a lot, and Spock notices that something is going on with his T'hy'la fairly quickly, of course.
- Jim is out drinking and catching up with an old academy friend when Spock confronts Bones about his nervousness, and poor weary old Bones, after numerous failed attempts to avoid the subject, finally falls apart and yells to Spock about all the warning signs, all the problems Jim will have later in life, how bad it could get, and he ends up crying in that heartbreaking way old men do
- Spock holds him and calms him down, gets him to drink some water, and then informs him of the close eye he has been keeping on dear James this whole time, and tells him that he thinks Jim’s memory is perfectly normal for someone of his age, and Bones needn’t worry because he’s just afraid because of his past of seeing his people lose their minds. Spock also points out that, just like Jim, Bones forgets some things now and then too, and Bones just curses at him, informs him that his mind is clear as the blue sky in July, and any trace of the tears he shed are gone
- When Jim comes home a little tipsy but otherwise unharmed, he finds his partners fast asleep on the couch, and he can’t help but smile before he ruins the moment by trying to lay down with them on the small couch and accidentally causing all three to topple over as a small startled cry is torn from Spock and a loud string of curses from the doctor, and the neighbors are reassured that everything is fine in their favorite household
- Aw the neighbors just loving the shit out of their neighborhood gay ass polyamory tho like they know all about the old war heroes and they see them going on walks all the time and the nice young lady who lives right next door brings them dinner quite often and her son walks their dog like all the time and the neighborhood just unofficially agrees to take care of the old geezers because they’re just so sweet
- One time a little girl on the street comes to the door and Spock is the only one home, so when he opens the door and she asks to pet his cat without any form of introduction, he’s taken aback
- He reluctantly lets the child inside and watches her pick up his beloved 16 year old cat like a hawk, but surprisingly enough, she seems very gentle to it, petting it, holding it in her lap
- Spock slowly eases up (as much as a Vulcan can anyway) and makes small conversation he has picked up since he’s begun living with his human mates
- The tiny child tells Spock that she loves animals more than anything and she wants to be a vet when she grows up, and Spock tells her that that wouldn’t be a bad career idea for her
- The little girl comes over all the time after that to let his cat, and she grows on him more and more every time
- Finally, she comes over when Bones and Jim are also home, and they’re surprised to see Spock smile just a tiny, tiny bit when he answers the door and lets her in, and when she runs to Spock’s special, antisocial cat and picks it up, they’re astonished to both the cat and Spock react like it’s a normal, even liked
- Just McSpirk as the old neighborhood sweethearts
- They see them as these cute old men but they forget that they were Space warriors once, that the three were important members of Star Fleet for a number of years and saw innumerable fights and near death experiences (some very much more than near)
- One time something happens on the neighborhood like a fire or something idk and they’re so surprised to see old man Kirk go sprinting right in with his gray hair and his flannel already ripped at the sleeve, Spock following right after with his normal, deadpanned expression, Bones screaming at them both as he trails at the rear with his cane in hand but not in use, and it’s just like old times
- Where did these even go omg
- Well there u go there’s my highly sporadic old geezer headcanons, I hope u all enjoyed

3

you with me? always. - a three part bellamy/raven mix

part 1: bellamy’s pov [listen]

new heights - a fine frenzy // pioneer of your heart - jmr // evening ceremony - active child // samson - regina spektor // closer - fka twigs // from eden - hozier // life support - sam smith // forever love (digame) - anna nalick // i’m like a lawyer with the way i’m always trying to get you off (me & you) - fall out boy // fire - ingrid michaelson // kaleidoscope - the script // don’t swallow the cap - the national // technicolour beat - oh wonder // the end of all things - panic! at the disco // i feel it coming (ft. daft punk) - the weeknd // passenger seat - death cab for cutie

part 2: raven’s pov [listen]

400 lux - lorde // soldier - ingrid michaelson // guns out - young the giant // superstar - broods // i’m yours - alessia cara // trust fall (down we go remix by jensen sportag) - madi diaz // state of grace - taylor swift // who’d have known - lily allen // everything we touch - say lou lou // hours - fka twigs // livewire - oh wonder // morningside - sara bareilles // last dance - dua lipa // young god - halsey // collar full - panic! at the disco // words - naaz

part 3: the two of them, together [listen]

TALK ME DOWN - troye sivan // american money - børns // animal love i - charlene kaye // back to earth (feat. fall out boy) - steve aoki // garden grays - wildcat! wildcat! // for the first time - the script // alarms in the heart - dry the river // love you more - alexi murdoch // cutty love - milo greene // neighborhood #1 (tunnels) - arcade fire // sway - anna of the north // non believer - crash kings // keep me - lucy schwartz // conrad - ben howard

lyrics under the cut:

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