negative space!!!

ARIES: I heard that somebody with icicles in their chest once told you that spring was only for people that know how to be wanted but they were lying. Hardly anybody takes care of honesty the way that you do and somehow that’s still a surprise. Take the weight of your insecurities and lay them to rest underneath a gravestone. When wildflowers grow from what you buried don’t bother to pick them. They’ll always be there. Don’t you know what it’s like to come back to things? 

TAURUS: The peach pit on your dresser has been sitting there for years and it’s okay that you can’t throw it out yet. Okay that you can’t put it back into the fruit and unbite all of the soft and the sweet and the “maybe this time it’ll be different” that leaked out onto your fingers on the nights that your teeth feel too used to be desired. Wash your sheets and dry them outside. Lay underneath the clothes line and listen. Unclench your fists. Rewrite the grocery list.

GEMINI: It isn’t your fault that not everyone can swallow the parts of you that have sharp edges. You’ve been spending too much time forcing yourself down the linen aisle when you should be finding the nearest comic book store. There’s a reason superman is nicknamed “man of steel” and you deserve all of the iron-throated hearts that you can find. Invest in a metal detector. Don’t be ashamed of what you find.

CANCER: The way you bare your chest to the world is terribly brave and I don’t want you to continue feeling responsible for the people you’ve kissed that have taken advantage of that. Skin-deep damage does not make you unlovable, it gives you new perspectives. Don’t apologize for the ways you have tried to survive this. You’re better than the fires you’ve walked through and the storms you’ve caused. Suck on a peppermint until it loses its flavor. Name the taste after your last heartbreak. Now spit it out.

LEO: Your chest caves in whenever you think about the past and nobody’s ever told you that everything is temporary. Well, honey, I have some news for you. Start checking the mailbox again before the neighbors start to worry. People still want to stain paper with your name and martyring yourself over words is something you’ve become too talented at. Take a break, now and again. Burn the television set if that’s what it takes. Air out the smoke and look into a mirror, admire how powerful you seem as you step out of the haze of what’s gone.

VIRGO: Oh, baby, you’ve made mistakes and you’ve drained the bottles but you’re not the only one who’s felt like this. I know that it’s hard to let yourself feel these things but you have to try, you have to let the light in. It’s so dark in the room you’ve been using to store your regrets and your pallor has become a reflection of the ghosts you’ve been taking orders from. You were made for the sun. Let it kiss you without repercussion. Allow yourself to kiss it back.

LIBRA: So maybe you dropped too many pennies down the wishing well and now your wallet is nothing more than negative space. So maybe you forgot who gave you that good advice that one time and you’re still beating yourself up over it. Go ahead, admit to your faults. Set a place for them at the table and scold them for being late. Eat their portion and kick them out. Being familiar with every side to your geometric personality is not something to be ashamed of. Remember the angles, and keep moving. People like you are not meant to stand still.

SCORPIO: I think that your ears were made for listening to things that break. The shattering of a vase. The cracking of a heart. Does it ever get exhausting to be so awfully aware of how things sound when they forget to function? Nobody expects you to take every smashed hope and piece it together on your own. You are not a bottle of glue no matter how much you feel disaster sticks to you. I promise. You don’t have to carry that toolbox around, anymore. It looks heavy. Set it down.

SAGITTARIUS: You have your father’s mouth and consequently have dreams where you’re ripping it from your face. Somebody told you once that you were inadequate and now there’s a bruise on your ego and you can’t seem to stop touching it. Why are you so obsessed with how long it takes to heal? Why are you so afraid of letting people see you cry? Take off your armor and let your skin breathe. There’s still time to be okay with the idea of loss. You’re not too late. You’re not too late.

CAPRICORN: Stop using the word pathetic whenever anybody asks you to describe yourself. The people that hold you accountable for the abuse you’ve endured are the ones that turn away whenever they see it. You don’t need them, you never did. Can you feel that prickling sensation running up your arms? It’s tomorrow knocking and it wants to show you something beautiful. Let it. You’ve handled tragedy, surely you can handle tenderness.

AQUARIUS: You’ve been fucked over so many times it’s hard not to see yourself as a hotel room on the outskirts of town. Dark red bedsheets and rusty doorknobs and a lampshade that hasn’t been touched in a decade or two, this is where you lie and try to erase the memories from your naked body. You don’t want to belong to anybody almost as much as you don’t want people to believe they’ve changed you. They haven’t, you know that right? No matter how many people hike up mount everest it’s still a mountain. It’s still bigger than what’s stepping on it. It still keeps its name.

PISCES: You’ve become so good at sacrificing yourself for the possibility of something worthwhile that your body looks more like an altar than an assortment of bones. If this is your church I hope that your god looks like your nine year old face whenever somebody asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. I hope your prayer sounds like an exhale and that your choir sings in harmony and that every donation tastes like honey. Don’t forget to bow your head every once in a while. Remind yourself of your feet. Of how fast you’re able to run.

—  APRIL HOROSCOPES, 2/30, Caitlin Conlon

Where I imagine Science Officer Kirk argues with Captain Spock ALL the TIME. Except then they start to agree with each other.

Bonus:

since Science Officer Jim is still fundamentally Jim

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8

I really couldn’t help wondering how things went down for Alphys when the amalgams first happened…


Here is Part 2!

And here is Part 3!