If a person ever tells you they feel like ending their own life, please don’t call them selfish, that’s the last thing they need.
How are they selfish? Yes people will be crushed if they did end it but to them, they don’t realise that people adore them. They’re not selfish at all, they’ve probably stayed on this earth for other people as they didn’t want to upset anyone.
Suicidal people are not selfish, if someone is in that much pain that they want to end their own life then don’t call them negative names, sit down with them and talk.
It will take a while, whatever has happened to them has cut in deep if it’s pushed them to the edge and right now they don’t need an enemy because they’re their own enemy, they need a friend.
Explain to them, don’t just say “everything will be okay” you don’t think they haven’t already said that to themselves?
You need to tell them what their purpose is, what their amazing qualities are, give them all the names of the people who adore them.
But most Importantly, listen, be quiet for a minute and let them talk, don’t rush them, they need someone to listen, they’ve kept their feelings bottled up for so long then need someone to vent to.
Support them, tell them that you’re there for them and together you’ll get through this, step by step, day by day.
Don’t tell them they have something to live for say they are something to live for, they should be living for themselves and if they’re feeling like taking their own life then then they haven’t been living for themselves.
Tell them they are needed on this earth just like we need the trees on earth to give us oxygen, they complete the earth, help them to realise this, they have a purpose.
Tell them nothing is more important then there mental health, that together you’ll work on making that better before anything else.
But most importantly, don’t brush it aside the next day, it will damage them more, constantly be there to reassure them even if it’s by text, they need someone to confide in and to help them.
This is a long post… but I think its worth reading,
Here is what I have discovered while having a dumb phone in the midst of a technology addicted world.
I often feel alone.
While most people are stuck on their phone I am sitting here by myself. I can be in the living room with my family (cousins, sisters, brothers, uncles etc), yet not interaction occurs between anyone because they are on their phones. Not to mention the TV volume is cranked.
When I go out to eat with people, I find it hard to hold a conversation not from a lack of topics or slightly awkward silences, but because what was a dinner for two, has now become a dinner for three. The uninvited smartphone dominates the conversation.
When in the car, i cant help but notice the number of swipes my passengers make to distract themselves from whats happening around them. The fear of being seen, or seeing things as they really are.
Ive seen children be ignored, because a facebook post was more important than what the child was asking, or trying to show the parent. What they learn is a phone has more value than they do. Eventually a child will stop sharing pieces of their life when they grow older, and the parents asks why? From experience. this is why. For me, it was a football game, or TV show. They were more valuable than how my day at school was, so much so, I was told to be quiet. If you asked a parent though,they wouldn’t say their Iphone is more valuable, but that’s whats lived. Actions speak louder than words.
People are terrified if they cant find their phone. Terrified. Frantically throwing things in search of their lost lover. The one that constantly demands attention, but never gives, always takes.
Often, in conversation I have to repeat myself a few times because the focus from my listener was shifted to that new tweet, or the alert banner making sounds on their phone. Sometimes, people ask me a question, and look at their phone, forgetting the question they ask. I watch them as they stare at their phone, while I answer, and they look up, saying, “Good” or they dont even look up or say anything.
Ive found there is no such thing as silence. Someone is always on the TV, Radio, or phone. There is always noise, constantly! I have gotten in the habit of separating myself to my room just so I can listen to the nothingness of space and time. The birds outside, or the winds in the trees. Or, nothing at all. With the sound of my heart and breathing. Its in these moments I can reflect on the stark realities of life and see whats happening right in front of my eyes. When I silence myself, I can hear the voice of Him who speaks stars into existence.
People usually only talk about stuff that they read or heard on Facebook (or the news). I rarely hear a conversation asking someone how their day is, beyond “Its good”. Because that’s what we want to hear, and the person saying “its good” knows we don’t really care about the terrified, scared person inside screaming for attention, who doesn’t know what job to take, or what school to go to. We just go through the formality.
Its honestly been very difficult to cultivate real conversations and friendships, with anyone. I think that’s why I have been feeling so alone lately. Everyone else is in a different world.
I got rid of a lot more stuff, and all of my books. All 145 of them. its a long story but its a good one. Maybe Ill tell it sometime. I’ve spent a lot of time laying in my bed looking at the ceiling, working in my greenhouse, or staring out the window. I spend more time on tumblr through my laptop than I would like. I almost got an iphone today. it was so tempting. Snapchat is so fun, I love doing those filters and they make my selfie game soar to the top. But that’s all it is. A selfie, me, trying to make myself look good. its about myself. All of a sudden I remembered what it was like to panic over my lost Iphone, or see people not talk to me because I was addicted. To watch my siblings be sad because I was reading a facebook post and they wanted to play cards. All these things I see happening are all things I did. I don’t want to live in that. its so exhausting. And I know as you read this there is a part of you, maybe its loud or maybe its small, but there is a part of you asking, “What would it be like if I got rid of my smartphone, or even just took a short break”. Im not saying to do it. But I am saying, we miss a lot. A LOT. We miss our children grow up. We miss beautiful sunsets, and rainbows. We miss hearing birds wake up in the morning singing to greet the day. We miss emotional healing conversations with hugs and redemption. We miss reading a book, and letting the words dance in your mind evoking thought and imagination. We have forgotten how to truly imagine things. We miss what it means to dream. We thing if we aren’t connected digitally we miss whats happening in the world, but the truth is, we miss whats happening right in front of us, and the beauty it hold, the limitless possibilities.
I plugged my Samsung Evergreen in to charge it. The battery lasts three days by the way, its pretty rad. My old Iphone 6 lasted about 4 hours.
Concluding this post I will say this. Seriously consider the negative effects of the lifestyle that is lived addicted to the digital age, then do something about it. I cant explain it, but I have fallen in love with silence. Its so healing, and freeing, and life giving. When the Spirit of God and I sit, and do nothing but be with each other. Man, that’s good stuff.
If you don’t believe in God, or have any faith so to say, I still implore you to consider what I said above. Regardless of belief, there is a lot being missed.
I pray this post ignites something in your heart that will help you remember your dreams, and push you to pursue them.
“Human relationships are rich and they’re messy and they’re demanding. And we clean them up with technology. Texting, email, posting, all of these things let us present the self as we want to be. We get to edit, and that means we get to delete, and that means we get to retouch, the face, the voice, the flesh, the body – not too little, not too much, just right.” ― Sherry Turkle
Author Thomas Sowell once stated that we live in a society in which there is an obsessive preoccupation with the topic of sex, but comparatively little real focus on the concept of love. Novelist George Orwell theorized that societies which begin to slowly drift toward authoritarian ideas would assume such a character. Once sex is divorced from love, it becomes a focus in and of itself within a society. And because it is indeed divorced from love, it becomes uncommitted, and therefore random and promiscuous. Now the important thing about the genuinely committed love relationship is that it eventually leads to the committed family unit. The commited family unit is the natural rival of the authoritarian state. It represents a rival loyalty to the state; an alternative devotion. As the saying goes, “Family comes first” and so a united, financially indepedent set of parents desire maximum control over the fate of their own child. They desire to lay up as much for the future of that child as possible. Yet a statist arrangement desires to extract as much from them, both during their lives and after their deaths as possible.
As I have explained in previous posts, America began as a pioneer society in which families banded together and built communities from the ground up. There was no paternal power to provide for them or to oversee their affairs. The independent community of strong families is therefore the model upon which traditional American society has always been established, and it has always been at odds with the ideal of the statist society. But when those traditional bonds of family (and consequently community) begin to weaken and to break apart, a susceptibility to statist ideals can take firm hold. The design of a political system always compliments the lifestyle of the citizens who shape it. In the most statist societies in Europe (e.g. Sweden, Norway ) broken families abound, while the state steps in to fill the role of father and mother.
The substitution of love with sex first emerges during the 1960s when the practice of sex with random partners is entitled “free love”, and the institution of marriage is denounced during this same general period as a form of bondage. Liberal-Progressive thought has always attempted to lay claim to the word “Love” and always it is identified with sheer pleasure. But at the core of the true concept of love is duty, which is an idea associated more with Conservative thought. Without duty there is no love, there is only gratification, the gratification of the individual. And that is what is created when a culture of sex replaces a culture in which love is cherished: isolated individuals on an endless quest for sheer physical gratification, numbing the negative effects of a lifestyle devoid of deeper connections through the use of psychotropic drugs ( the Scandinavian countries are among the highest users of anti-depressants in the developed world, and the U.S. has increased its use of them in recent decades by over 300%). But the real point is that these isolated individuals become increasingly untied to families, non reliant upon families, and as they do the state steps in to take over their lives instead. It offers a substitute community: the pseudo-community of the state.
He looked at her and thought, “maybe I was made for you. Maybe I was made to go through hell to finally feel heaven, and baby you feel just how I imagine heaven to be. Maybe you are my healing. Maybe, just maybe, you are my life.” But he never uttered those words, because he was too afraid that he’d ruin it.
Originally in our October 2015 issue
By Kiki Dombrowski
Samhain is a favorite holidays for many witches, Wiccans and Pagans. Often known as the Witches’ New Year, Samhain celebrates the passage of the year into the colder and darker half of the year. Historically, it marked the end of the harvest season and was also known as a time when spirits could roam our world, and we could even roam theres. Today, modern witches and Pagans celebrate in a similar fashion to Halloween, some dressing up, some celebrating with a party or visit to the pumpkin patch, and enjoying the decor (which I personally like to keep up year round). But there is something deeper in the celebration: we reflect on all that we have metaphorically harvested in our lives over the past year.
The colder weather brings us indoors, and at this time we also contemplate going
inwards into ourselves, exploring our shadow side but also learning to enjoy time alone for self discovery. As Samhain is a holiday associated with the spirit realm, there are many who use the time to perform divination and see what lies ahead for the coming year. There are also those also like to try and contact spirits, or if they prefer a more gentle manner of reaching out to the Otherside, ancestral reverence and cemetery visitations are also a part of Samhain.
Apples play a major role in the celebration of Samhain. They are a fall fruit, but also carry a deep symbolism valuable to the holiday. Most of the apple divinations date to the 18th and 19th centuries, many of the games attempting to see future spouses or romantic interests. Apples hold a special place in Celtic mythology, where they are connected to otherworldly magic and considered to be the fruit of the dead, as a symbol of magic, beauty, and immortality. The Celtic God Dagda lived in a kingdom with always-fruited apple trees. Apples have also been associated with Avalon, the Arthurian isle of magic and faery and the final resting (or healing) place of King Arthur. Apples have a magical shape as well: the physical makeup of it reveals a pentacle (five-pointed)
• Hold an apple by its stem. Begin to twist the stem slowly, and as you do so, recite the letters of the alphabet. Whichever letter the stem breaks on is the first letter of the person you will have a romantic relationship with.
• Pare an apple on Samhain. Try to make the longest, most continual piece of apple peel that you can. Throw the peel over your left shoulder. The peel will take the shape of initials of your future partner. A variation on this method is to throw the peel into a cauldron or pot of water.
• Cut an apple in half and count the number of seeds. An even number of seeds indicates a marriage in the near future. If there is an odd number of seeds, you will remain unmarried in the near future. If a seed was cut from slicing the apple, any near relationship could be tumultuous.
Bonfire Banishment Magic
Samhain is a time of transition: it is an excellent time to rid yourself of negativity and lifestyles that you have outgrown. Banishment magic is a tool for releasing all that no longer applies to you. This is a banishment spell to do when you are going to attend a bonfire. Prior to the bonfire, search for three small sticks. While looking, contemplate three things you want to banish from your life: perhaps it is financial debt, anxiety, an unhealthy diet, loneliness. When you have collected the sticks, write what you want to banish on them, one specific thing per each stick. When you attend the bonfire, bring your sticks with you. When you feel the opportunity is right, take one stick at a time and throw it into the fire. Visualize the negativity fleeting from your life, imagine how good it would feel for that thing to be banished from your life for good. Finally, imagine what positive thing will replace the negative thing you have just banished. For example, without anxiety, imagine seeing yourself feel calmness and peace of mind. How does that feel? How does that impact your life? Once you’re confident with banishing the old, repeat the process with the next stick.
A Dumb Supper or Dumb Feast is an old tradition of holding a dinner in silence to honor relatives who’ve passed over. Oftentimes, dishes that were favorites of the deceased relative would be prepared. The dinner table would be set up with an extra seat dedicated to the honored deceased and its meal would be eaten by guests in silence. Some say if you listen closely, you could hear sounds of spirits present. At the end of the meal, take the plate of food and leave it outside as an offering to spirits and
The pumpkin is a staple in the Halloween collection, but it also contains some magical potency as well, as it symbolizes abundance, fertility, good health, and transformation. It is easy to see why it would be a wonderful fruit associated with fertility. It’s round shape is reminiscent of a full, pregnant belly. It’s full of seeds, which create life and abundance in all areas of life. The pumpkin is also a symbol of prosperity. Consider collecting 3 or 7 seeds from your Halloween pumpkin and adding it to a money sachet. A fun pumpkin seed spell I do every year is called the “Three Wishes Pumpkin Seed Spell.” Take three pumpkin seeds on Halloween, out to your garden or a special area of your yard. Make a wish on each seed and bury it into the Earth.
Living in the 21st century, we are constantly surrounded by the media. Unfortunately, this constant exposure to different media platforms is having a negative effect on how to feel and behave. Read more to find out more about how to deal with social media and the way we perceive it.
Its cool not being perfect, we’re human. . But shaming someone or making them feel bad about themselves because they have flaws or don’t look how you think they should look is not okay in any way! And you should stop.
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So I was getting really excited to go out with my first SD tomorrow, especially after he showed me how kind and caring he was when I messaged him at 4:30/5 am this morning after having a major fight with my roommate. He responded and comforted me when I didn’t have anyone else to turn to and that really meant a lot to me.
However, when I was talking to him today, he suggested that we meet in private to discuss our arrangement.
I told him that I was not comfortable with that and I felt that it could be a potential dangerous situation.
He said that he understood, but he didn’t want to discuss things in public because he didn’t want people to eavesdrop on our conversation.
He then tried to get me to tell him my real first name because he felt that if I know his he should have the RIGHT to know mine.
I tried to explain to him why that is also dangerous, to which he responded by telling me that he never had a problem with other SBs being more open. He also said that maybe we should just cancel our meeting if I wasn’t going to compromise.
I told him that I understood but I am not the girl for him.
Just because I’m new at this does not make me stupid. I have 2 degrees and I have done my research. I’m not going to let anyone manipulate me into a situation that can be potentially dangerous just because I am struggling financially.
-If I get murdered I won’t be able to pay my bills.
-If I get raped I’m going to have to deal with the emotional trauma as well as the physical trauma, and that would also cost me days of missing work, medical bills for STD testing, and it’s something I’ll have to go to therapy for, which would also cost me money that I don’t have.
-I’m not going to get blackmailed, which could ruin my future career and future relationships, or ruin relationships with my family or friends who would have a negative view on my lifestyle choices.
Not all SDs are dangerous, but you shouldn’t put yourself at risk especially when there are signs of a bad situation.
Please be cautious and protect yourself at all times.
Know when to cut all ties and just say ‘NO’ before you have that choice removed from you.