needsmoresark

  • My cat walked into the bedroom today and just sat down and stared at my boyfriend and...
  • Boyfriend:Looks like the cat's arrived for an inspection.
  • Me:Did we pass?
  • Boyfriend:I don't know. We'll have to wait for the lab results.
  • Me:She's not a lab, she's a cat!
  • Boyfriend:*gets up and walks out of the room*
  • Me:*calls after him* AT BEST IT WAS A CATSCAN
  • Boyfriend:*returns* >:|
  • Boyfriend:I have given a lot of thought to how you watch all these shows with really attractive casts and are always talking about them in certain ways and I'm pretty sure that you actually just want to collect all of them. Like, gather them and keep them in enclosures like your other pretty pets.
  • Me:Have you thought recently about the way I bought a house and casually asked if you wanted to move into it

My cat just came up to beg for some of my tortilla chips and I said “These are not for you, Lenore.” And Sark starts to defend her with “but-” and I continued speaking to Lenore to say “These are nacho chips!” and Sark made the part-of-my-soul-just-died noise so I looked up and said “I did that to you because this was nacho conversation.”

To be honest I’m not sure why he stays.

  • Sark:Are we eating together tonight?
  • Me:I gotta stop somewhere before I get home, so I can pick up Taco Bell if you want?
  • Sark:If you don't mind, sure.
  • Me:Okay. Just tell me what you want, what you really really want
  • Sark:I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
  • Sark:I want a
  • Sark:I want a
  • Sark:I want a - I really really really want a - nachos and potato burrito

I just showed Sark a photoset of mostly shirtless Emmett Scanlan, and commented (jokingly) that I had seem some suspicious photos of him with another boy that might have been gay porn (I have no idea if it was or wasn’t), and Sark says to me: “No, that’s just Men’s Fashion Magazines.”

I looked over. “But they were in a dark locker room.”

Sark: Men’s fashion magazines.

“But they weren’t wearing any clothes. They were just standing around naked with towels.” (x)

“Meeennnnnn’s fashhhhionnnn magaziiiiines.”

And then he starts sending me links.

  • Sark:Are you going to be OK alone with Buffy?
  • Me:You know, it's a real trial for me to continue being angry with Spike when he's gone completely gibbering insane curled up in the fetal position crying in the basement of the rebuilt high school
  • Sark:If I ever fuck up real bad, I now know how to be appropriately remorseful

Came to a birthday party today for Sark’s grandma. His other grandma came over to offer me the corner piece of the cake (my favorite piece) and so of course I accepted. Then from across the room I heard “WAIT. KED DON’T.” And Sark’s sister came over with a rainbow piece of cake and said very seriously “You must choose.”

  • Sark:I would pay money to watch you do a shot of scotch. Your face would be priceless.
  • Me:My face is always priceless, thank you very much.
  • Sark:it is....
  • Me:Why do I sense a 'but' in that intonation?
  • Sark:but... this would be... a rarer expression...
  • Me:Nice save.
  • Sark:I'm going to sleep. It's safer there.

I just sent Sark this link (warning, comic is about handling violence, street/sexual harrassment, and sexism toward women). One panel of the comic suggests men ask women what they would like the men to do (for them) if they witness such things.

So Sark, taking this into immediate consideration, says to me: “Whenever we are out, I’ve always let you deal with assholes yourself. Is that the right thing to do?”

And I said yes, typically I am capable of handling assholes myself.

He says: “That’s what I thought… it always seems like if I am going to have to interfere, it’s not going to be to stop them. It’s going to be to stop you from killing them.”