needed to make something to make me feel better

it’s okay to be ignorant

let me make myself clear

it’s okay if you don’t know something, it’s okay to be unaware

but make an effort to learn

put in the time to figure it out

be kind and respectful with the people you seek out to inform you

understand that no one is obliged to satisfy your demand for their time and emotional or intellectual energy - be grateful when it is given

it is NOT OKAY to be WILLFULLY IGNORANT

it is NOT OKAY to make assumptions about things and not bother to find out for yourself whether what you’re saying has any basis in fact

it is NOT OKAY to hold your own preconceived notions superior to fact regardless of the many significant and more knowledgeable voices trying to help correct you

i’ll say it one more time

IT IS  NOT  OKAY  TO BE  WILLFULLY  IGNORANT

it is okay if you’re ignorant right now

but you are the one with the tools to fix that

and i guarantee there are plenty of resources available

so do better

Starting to see blogs that are "the mcmansionhell of" and all I want to say is

Y'all do you because more crap needs to be called out for being well, crap. I’m an architecture/interiors/design person but if you want to take down, say garbage Web UI (like my blog lmao) or auto design or whatever else fascinates you and want some pointers, shoot me a message.

General design blog advice:
- always make sure you’re legally reusing or modifying images. This is huge. Stay within the Creative Commons if you can. Better yet, take your own pictures if you can.

- roast things not people. If you don’t care about people’s feelings, here’s something that will make you feel pretty bad: You can and will get sued. Make up characters in place of real humans. Do not bully ever or I will be eternally disappointed in you. No witch hunts. Luckily for me, houses don’t have feelings. If they did, I’d feel really bad.

- If you want a larger readership I recommend keeping swearing in check. I follow what I call the DAHA rule: damn, ass, hell, and acronyms (‘wtf’, ‘af’, whatever else the kids say these days.)

I do want to say I have seen stolen content from this blog posted without citation. If you want to use one of my pics somewhere send me an email - I’m very chill about it. I hate DMCA takedowns more than anything, and have fielded plenty in order to bring dank content to all because I have a lawyer. Listen to your English teacher: don’t plagiarize. You will get caught.

Finally, if @classical-vinyl follows you, it’s me. (I first got a Tumblr in college to catalog my records because I’m very boring in real life.)

Happy blogging,
K8

Edit- Protip: I always tweet back (@mcmansionhell)

Let me say something while I’m being late night introspective at the moment, things are very scary right now and there’s times where I feel like the only thing I can do is try to make people laugh. Sometimes it feels like what I do is rather frivolous compared to everything happening now, but then I get a message from someone thanking me for helping them feel just a little bit better. And I want to say thank you to them and to you all, because that just reaffirms that the world needs laughter and makes me want to do better for you guys.

You’re all important, you all matter, and whoever’s reading, I’m glad you’re here.

I saw a post that showed MBTI as a classroom, and wondered what would happen if there were only iNtuitives in a classroom together. I made this based off of Tumblr stereotypes, to see what kind of chaos would ensue. Let’s just say, this is why the world needs a lot of sensors… (Also, the small “m” stands for male, and the small “f” stands for female. I did the genders because a classroom that only contains eight people, including the teacher, would be ridiculously small.)

I’ll probably do a classroom full of sensors next. Feel free to send me requests for more pictures of the types doing _____, or something like that. I really enjoyed making this!

Also, don’t forget to give feedback/criticism, so I’ll know what I can do better next time I make something like this!

Sun in the 12th: I need alone time, it makes me feel a whole lot better and is a must in order to stabilize myself after being drained by the company of others. I get creative and more expressive when I’m by myself. Weak vitality when I’m with others but strong and more energized when I’m alone, in the confidence of my own company. Alone time will do a 12th house person good in general. Helping other people makes me feel good too, you know, like doing something nice for someone; boosts the confidence and makes me feel like I’m needed.

Mercury in the 12th: talk talk talk. I like going online and communicating with others or just vocalizing everything I do when I’m alone. I love to write fantasy stories, and read them too if I come across anything good. Beneficial outlet of the restless mind mercury in the 12th gives. Watching films, more so fantasy-esque; out-of-this-world kind of content. Fills my head with imagination, a nice feeling. When alone, thinking to myself about my day is important to me, reevaluation. To organize my outrageous thoughts as to not lose myself in them.

Venus in the 12th: I try to exercise my artistic abilities when I have privacy, like any artist it’s a good feeling when a piece is finished. Surrounding myself with beauty is beneficial. For example, I love taking pictures, especially of the clouds, sky & moon.. my favorites. Venus in the 12th makes it hard for me to feel “beautiful” or “worthy” but I usually comfort myself by cleaning myself up. Simple things, you know, such as taking a bath, putting on some good looking but comfortable clothing, or maybe spraying some kind of fragrance on. Helps with the self-worth problem. I don’t feel embarrassed about it ether, because I do it when I’m alone whereas with others I feel self-conscious. Socializing does me good but only when it’s with very few people. With Venus in the 12th I feel safer with private and small social relations. Again, alone time is a must after socializing. Music, music, music, another beautiful thing that I surround myself with, especially while drawing. I need it because it makes me feel good, vaporwave is a genre I’m weak for.

I used to hate my 12th house planets but I’ve grown comfortable with them and even a bit appreciative of them after learning how to find outlets to healthily channel their energies.

“I’m okay.” 

Thank you so much to @plastic-pipes for taking this commission from me. I need something to make myself feel better after the finale and she delivered. You should absolutely check out her commissions page because…just look at how gorgeous this is. 

It’s okay if you feel like doing nothing today. That doesn’t make you lazy or worthless. It just make you human. You can be tired physically and mentally, so sometimes taking a time for yourself is everything you need. 

So if all you did today was breathe, that’s already something great. And sometimes keeping yourself alive is too hard (believe me, I know), but you are still here and that’s so strong and brave of you.

We can try something new tomorrow, okay? Don’t rush your recovery. Healing is difficult and it takes lots of time, but you can do this. Everyday that you breathe and keep yourself alive is alredy a huge and important victory. 

You are a winner even tho you don’t think so. We are still here and that’s so bold and fearless. And we will keep going. 

One day at a time. One step at a time. Together.

  • *Sasuke and Naruto during the war*
  • Sasuke: Naruto, there's something you need to know. Naruto, I-I hate you. I hate you with all my heart. I hate you more than I've ever hated anybody. I hate you so much that I can barely take it.
  • Naruto: Oh, Sasuke, I had no idea you felt that way about me. I-if it makes you feel any better. I hate you, too. I think I hated you from the moment I first met you.
  • Sasuke: In that case, Naruto, if we win this war, let us make sweet hatred together. Just you and me. Hating each other. All. Night. Long.
  • Naruto: YES!
  • Naruto: ... wait a second, are you coming onto me?
you can walk past me and hold your breath all day if you want but just know that i know that inside, you feel like you can’t breathe already and you need to exhale and inhale once again but you’re too scared that you’ll breathe in the scent of me and become weak at the knees. once again i’ll make you feel something you’re so scared to feel. so go ahead, pretend you can’t stand me, or even better, pretend you don’t know me. pretend my presence  doesn’t make your stomach jump and pretend that when you breathe a little heavier you don’t think of the ways that I could make you do that. pretend that when we talk and you stare at my lips, that you’re not wondering what they would feel like pressed against your neck. pretend you’re not dying inside, because hell, that’s all I can do to keep myself breathing.
—  can’t believe that I still want you (4.10.16)

Prompt: Sirius see’s another guy kiss Lily on the cheek at university one day and he is personal offended on behalf of his brother James who is currently dating Lily. Sirius makes it his mission to find this guy and threaten him within an inch of his life to never come near Lily again - even if he has to do it on his own cause James doesn’t feel ‘threatened’ by it. 

I needed to write something to make me feel better so have jumping to conclusions Sirius embarrassing himself ❤


- Sirius was wandering through the university library on Wednesday afternoon.

- He didn’t really need to be here since it was only the first week of the semester and they didn’t have any work yet, but he liked the quiet.

- It helped to clear his busy mind.

- And since James was half dying at home with ‘Prongs flu’, he could really do with the quiet.

- He rounded the corner to the Creative Writing section and there he saw Lily sat with a guy he had never met before.

- He had an undercut with wild curls on the top, scars running along the edge of his large nose, earthy brown eyes and wore a mustard jumper with a green shirt collar folded over the top.

- Sirius felt his mouth go a little dry. 

- He had to find out who this cute guy was called and hopefully get his number. 

- He was about to walk over and say hello, until the guy leant close to Lily and kissed her on the cheek.

- She smiled at him and pulled him in for a half hug, put her stuff into her bag and walked off with a playful wave.

- The guy smiled after her, then turned back to do his work.

- Sirius stood there in shock.

- Did that really just happen?

- Did some guy (who was really attractive - which killed Sirius to admit it now) kiss Lily on the cheek? 

- James’ girlfriend, Lily?!

- Sirius was not having this.

- He quickly ducked behind one of the large bookshelves.

- With lightening speed, he pulled out his phone from his pocket and rang James.

- “Ugh, what?” James painfully groaned on the other end on the line.

- “Prongs! I’ve just seen some guy kiss Lily!” He practically shouted.

- “What?” James asked, extremely confused and sleepy. “Where?”

- “On the cheek!” 

- “No I meant … never mind. What does he look like?” 

- “Erm..”

- He quickly looked around the bookshelf to see he was still sat there in all his cuteness.

- He quickly shook his head and hid behind the bookshelf again.

- “He has brown curly hair, wearing a yellow jumper, oh! And he has a scar on his nose.”

- James gave a breathy laugh on the other end of the line.

- “Ah. It’s okay Sirius, don’t worry about it.”

- Sirius eye’s bulged out of his head.

- Was he talking to the real James Fleamont Potter?!

“Are you serious?!”

- “No, you are!” He chuckled. 

- “But honestly, mate. I’m not worried about it.”

- “Well, I am! I’m going to go confront him.”

- “No wai-”

- But Sirius had already cut him off.

- He would protect his brothers honour, even if James wasn’t ‘threatened’, because that’s what brothers do!

- He rounded the bookshelf to go confront this adorable home wrecker to find that he had already gone.

- Sirius quickly searched the library floor, but he was no where to be found.

- He huffed out of annoyance.

- He’ll make it his mission to find him.


- It was nearly a week later when he did find the boy again.

- He was sat in the same spot as last week, but was on his own this time.

- Sirius decided now was as good as any to confront this cute boy.

- And he really needed to stop referring to him as that …

- He stomped his way over to the table and took a seat next to him.

- The boy looked up with curiosity and Sirius froze.

- Damn, he really was hot.

- “Erm, hi? Can I help you?” The boy asked.

- “I … erm … yeah.” Sirius stuttered. 

- “I mean yes,” he threw his shoulders back with a fake air of confidence.

- “Do you know Lily Evans?”

- “Erm, yes?” The boy asked with furrowed eyebrows.

- “Well I know you do.” Sirius replied.

- The boy just looked around him, then back at Sirius.

- “O…kay?”

- “Cause I saw you kissing her last week!” Sirius snapped.

- “Rightttt…” He elongated and turned in his chair to properly look at Sirius.

- “And that’s just not on.” Sirius pathetically finished.

- “She has a boyfriend. My brother, in fact.”

- “You mean James?” The boy smirk slightly, realising what was happening.

- “So you know she has a boyfriend, yet you’re still kissing her?!” Sirius gasped.

- The boy just chuckled.

- “That’s low. Just, back off and stay away from Lily, got it? Otherwise I’ll make your life … hell.” 

- He accidentally went a little pitchy, and blushed with embarrassment.

- The boy smiled brightly to him.

- “What’s your name?”

- “Sirius.” He stated.

- “No, really?”

- Sirius scowled.

- “Okay, Sirius it is …” The boy rolled his eyes playfully and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

- He quickly tapped some number’s into it and held it up to his ear.

- He smiled back to Sirius whilst waiting for the person on the other end to pick up.

- Sirius was very confused.

- “Sirius, yeah?” He asked. 

- Sirius nodded.

- When they answered, Remus spoke but his eye’s never left Sirius’

- “Lily? Hi, it’s Remus! … Yeah, I’m good thanks … so listen, I have this guy here with me called Sirius … Yup, leather jacket … wavy black hair, kind of stormy ocean eyes? … Thats the one! … Yeah, so he’s just come up to me in the library and threatened me because I kissed you. … hang on I’ll ask.”

- He covered the mouth piece of the phone and spoke directly to Sirius.

- “When did you see this?” 

- “Erm, last week? Here?” Sirius asked rather than told.

- Remus quickly nodded and went back to the phone.

- “Last week, here in the library … yeah, okay, here you go.” 

- He passed the phone over to Sirius.

- “She wants to talk to you.” He smiled.

- Sirius hesitantly took the phone off of Remus.

- “H-hello?” He asked.

- “SIRIUS ORION BLACK! YOU ABSOLUTE ARSEHOLE!!” Lily roared.

- “Hey, what did I do? I was just defending-”

- “Remus is not only my extremely gay roommate, but he’s also my cousin! You should have asked me first instead of just barging in and threatening him! You prick!” She was livid.

- Sirius felt his eye’s bulge out of his head and he stared at Remus, whose eyes were twinkling with amusement.

- “Oh god … Lily, I’m-”

- “A giant idiot who owes Remus an apology? Yeah. You are.”

- She tutted and hung up on him.

- Awkwardly, he took the phone from his ear and returned it to Remus.

- Remus took it off of him and slid it back into is pocket with a smirk.

- Sirius avoided his eyes and started rubbing the back of his neck.

- “Sooo … emm ….”  

- “Yes?” Remus looked smug.

- Sirius held his hand out to him for a handshake.

- “Hi. I’m Sirius Black, James’ adopted brother. I jump to conclusions easily and embarrass myself in front of extremely cute boys. How do you do?”

- Remus let out a breathy laugh and smiled sweetly to him, accepting his hand.

- “Hi. I’m Remus Lupin, Lily’s cousin and roommate. This is a weird time for you to flirt with me, but I’ll accept it.” He winked making Sirius melt.

- “Ha, yeah. You wouldn’t believe it, but I was going to say hello last week when I saw you sat with Lily cause I thought you looked cute … but then I saw you kiss her cheek and I went a little…”

- “Mafia bodyguard on me?” Remus finished with a chuckled.

- “Pretty much!” Sirius grinned. 

- Sirius realised they were still holding hands, and quickly retracted his.

- “I’m so sorry about that … it’s just, there used to be this guy who acted like Lil’s friend back in high school who always tried to get her to hate James when he’s like, the nicest person ever.”

- “Severus, by any chance?” Sirius eyebrows knitted together.

- “You know him?” Remus rolled his eyes with a low groan.

- “Unfortunately. He tried to get Lily to stop being my friend - he didn’t realise we were family - cause I was both gay and ill at the time. He was a real arsehole. I’m glad she wised up and got rid of him, he was the definition toxic.” 

- “Exactly! And I just, yeah. If it weren’t for him, Lily and James …”

- “… would probably be married with a kid by now, yeah I know!” Remus grinned. 

- “She always liked James, she spent hours on the phone talking about him! But Sev put her off constantly. I didn’t actually meet James until they got together last year, but I knew he was good the moment I did.”

- “He really is,” Sirius smiled.

- They both stared at each other with small smiles.

- “So,” Sirius awkwardly started.

- “Would you like to go for a coffee with me sometime?” Remus asked. 

- “Really?! Even after I threatened you?” Sirius beamed and Remus laughed with a shrug.

- “What can I say? I found it endearing how protective of your friends relationship you are. I mean, imagine if it was your own?” 

- He winked and pulled his notebook (that was left neglected on the table) over to him and began to scribble something down.

- He ripped out the page and passed it to Sirius.

- “Here.” He smiled. “My number.” 

- Sirius took it with a look of unbelieving. 

- “Wow.” He sighed happily. “This has got to be the weirdest way I’ve ever unintentionally chatted someone up and got a number!”  

- “Do that a lot, do you?” Remus laughed. 

- “Hopefully I won’t have to again.” Sirius grinned with a wink. “Is right now too soon for a coffee?” Sirius asked. 

- Remus smiled toothily at him and shuck his head playfully.

- “Right now sounds like the perfect time.”


These nerds are my life, fo real.

Friendly PSA

Friendly reminder that if your: hateful against multishippers, hateful against shalladin, hateful against ships in general, feel the need to put others down to make yourself feel better, love to stir up discourse, are a shipping hypocrite, or just mean in general to people doing what they love

PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME

Here is some things you can do: block offensive accounts without making a rude comment, unfollow people that go against your beliefs, and keep your safe search/filters on

There is no reason for discourse

Don’t make anyone feel bad for indulging in something that they love

Rowan and Abuse TOG

So please just hear me out and keep an open mind while you read this.

And also for reference this in no way a rant, rather an intellectual discussion and if I use caps it’s to make something important stand out not to symbolise shouting. Please note here will be spoilers. Okay here goes nothing…

First of all, an abuser is (usually) someone who is insecure and has been abused themselves and feels the need to assert their dominance or regain control over their life through punishing/hurting others. They will hurt someone physically and also verbally in order to make themselves feel better and stronger because of their own insecurities. Usually, they will do physical abuse in private and verbal abuse where it is harder to not draw attention to themselves - an abuser will not want for others to see how they are immoral. If the person being abused fights back, than the abuser usually abuses them harsher or more regularly to reinforce their dominance and control over them. Also, abuse is repeatedly making someone feel bad over a sustained period of time (as in months or years) - hitting someone is assault not abuse. Okay now on to the book…

In Heir of Fire, Rowan is considered abusive. Since he is not in the first two books or The Assassin’s Blade and during QoS and EoS he is very considerate towards Aelin, I cannot see how someone would think he is abusive there so I will address potential points of confusion in HoF.

Chapter 8
> Rowan punches Celaena
• however here Celaena goads him into it [‘Fae like you make me understand the King of Ardalan’s actions more’] and also wants to be hurt [‘she tasted blood - good’]
> when Celaena tells him to hurt her he doesn’t
> Celaena then attacks Rowan but he doesn’t hurt here; merely trips her up and despite her vulnerable position (note that this would be a very good opportunity to reinforce the idea of his dominance if he were an abuser) he doesn’t hurt her. Furthermore, Rowan trips Celaena up because she was attacking him - it was self defence
> the room Rowan places Celaena in is 'very small, very cold’ which is symbolic of how she feels after Nehemia’s death - Celaena feels isolated and alone, she wants to be punished as if she were a prisoner which is why the room is 'like a prison’

PLEAS ENOTE THAT MOSTLY DURING THE WENDLYN PLOTLINE THINGS ARE FROM CELAENA’S POV THEREFORE IT IS FROM HER PERSPECTIVE AND NOT NECESSARILY WHAT ROWAN IS THINKING

Chapter 11
> Rowan sends Celaena salve/clothes/water/soap which is quite a considerate action and an abuser would not appreciate how they have hurt their victim as it wouldn’t cross their mind (they would focus merely on themselves)
> Maeve has reprimanded Rowan for hurting Celaena therefore he is not likely to do it again unless absolutely necessary and justifiable because Maeve is his blood sworn queen - he cannot disobey her

Chapter 13
> Rowan attacks Celaena during this chapter but this is because she once again has goaded him into it and also to try and trick her into shifting; they are training so she may have control over her magic and as explained in the book it is vital for her to shift in order to do so, hence Rowan’s actions here are deemed necessary.
Moreover, the first two blows Celaena dodges because she has studied his moves (she expects their training to involve fighting) and the third is to the legs so that Rowan can disarm her without hurting her too much
> Rowan does force Celaena up off the floor but this is because she is having flashbacks because of the trauma that she has just gone through - when someone has flashbacks they are stuck in that one moment and cannot escape it without someone helping them to come back

Chapter 14
> Rowan drags Celaena from the barrows but even when she is passed out he doesn’t hurt her - some abusers will take advantage of those who are unconscious or asleep but Rowan doesn’t do this as it is not mentioned
> Rowan is annoyed here because he hasn’t done his job properly and there is this being that is present which has the ability to hurt others - he is concerned about everyone’s wellbeing
> Celaena tells Rowan that she is 'done for the day’ at the end of he chapter. Rowan could force her to stay as them training together gives him a good opportunity for him to abuse her as they are isolated and have a good excuse for why she would be hurt hence as he doesn’t do this he isn’t abusive

PLEASE NOTE THAT EVERYTHING SJM PUTS IN HER BOOKS ARE HERE FOR A REASON (WHETHER TO DEVELOP A CHARACTER OR INTRODUCE A NEW PLOT LINE OR FURTHER ONE THAT IS ALREADY THERE) HENCE IF ROWAN HAD ABUSED HER HERE IT PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN MENTIONED.
ALSO NOTE THAT SJM MAKES SURE THAT HER CHARACTERS END UP IN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS - SUCH AS FEYRE AND RHYSAND OR MOR. OR EVEN ELIDE - LORCAN BETRAYS ELIDE’S TRUST AT THE END OF EOS BUT SJM DOESN’T KEEP THEM TOGETHER AS IT IS JOT RIGHT FOR ELIDE TO BE WITH SOMEONE SHE CANNOT TRUST

Chapter 20
> 'the black eye… improved over the next week’ - an abuser will hit someone repeatedly and in the same general area, yet this is the only wound mentioned
> Rowan bites Celaena during this chapter but again she goads him into it and also tries to attack him ['went for his daggers’] therefore once more he is defending itself when he fights back. In addition to that, Rowan is once again trying to goad her into shifting, as well as him reacting instinctively to being insulted. It is mentioned in QoS that when he bit her here, it was the first time he lost control around her. Rowan is vulnerable around her and this makes him scared as he himself is emotionally unstable after Lyria’s death

Chapter 21
> Rowan sucks the air out of the surrounding vicinity in which they are training in but this is once more self defence as Celaena is out of control and a 'wall of blue flame (was) rushing for Rowan’. Here this is a necessary action for Rowan to defend himself and Celaena also he releases his magic asap so that she isn’t in a sustained period of suffering
> 'why don’t I give you the whipping you deserve?’ is what Rowan threatens Celaena with but never actually whips her and she makes several threats against him herself (they are both awful to each other because of how they are emotionally) as well as Celaena fighting against this. Someone who is being abused wouldn’t usually fight against their abuser as they would be too afraid/scared/vulnerable to do so. Plus Rowan doesn’t reprimand he for talking back here as one would expect
> 'because she is dead…worthless life’ Rowan is very shocked here as a new side to Celaena is revealed. Before he only saw her cocky, arrogant mask that concealed her pain but now he sees a new side to her and begins to understand her a little and this is effected by the beginnings of change in his actions towards her
> for instance Rowan saves her from the skinwalkers and gives her his cloak and jacket when she is shivering

SO FAR EVERYTHING ROWAN HAS DONE (APART FROM THE 1ST PUNCH) IS A NECESSARY ACTION BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINING AND ROWAN NEEDS TO HELP CELAENA TO CONTROL HER UNCHECKED POWER
ROWAN IS VERBALLY ABUSIVE TO AELIN BUT SHE ACTS AND THINKS THE SAME WAY OF HERSELF AS WELL. BOTH OF THEM SERVE AS A REMINDER TO THE OTHER OF ALL THAT THEY HAVE GONE THROUGH AND ALL THEY HAVE LOST AS THEIR SITUATIONS WERE VERY SIMILAIR (THEY BOTH FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR NOT PROTECTING/BEING THERE FOR THE ONE THEY LOVE AND BELIEVE IT IS THEIR FAULT THAT THE PERSON THEY CARED FOR IS DEAD)

Chapter 25
> 'a week passed without any further attempt to skin Celaena alive’ = no abuse occurred
> Celaena is late to training but recieves no punishment from Rowan despite his threats towards her about her attitude
> Rowan also carries her shopping for her in this chapter, which is clearly something he wouldn’t particularly want to do. This shows how Celaena starts to have a slight sway over him and an abuser wouldn’t allow this because they need to have ultimate dominance

Chapter 28
> 'Rowan decided to take Celaena to the commune of healers’ which 'as a child she had begged her mother to take her’ therefore he isn’t abusive as actually he is doing something for her so that she may grow and escape the darkness she currently deals with
> 'another husk of a body was found and I find that unacceptable’ shows how Rowan potentially doesn’t approve of abuse as he find the defacement of this body to be 'unacceptable’
> 'you know it might be better if you slap me instead … of reminding me of how rutting worthless/awful/cowardly I am’ portrays how Celaena thinks so little of herself (although she says so since the beginning of the book but now isn’t denying her feelings about Nehemia’s death) also this is again fighting back as she tells him off for being so mean to her - again a victim of abuse wouldn’t usually do this
> 'you left’ Celaena opens up to Rowan which leads to him later to protect her better. This shows the newfound trust in their relationship which doesn’t usually happen between an abuser and their victim in such a way
> Emrys tells Rowan off for being inconsiderate towards Celaena and this first insight into Rowan’s perspective is very insightful as it shows how he has become interested in her. An abuser won’t be interested in their victim in a way that they would want to understand them and also this suggest that Rowan has stated to see Celaena for who she is - for a person with interests and feelings - which is again what an abuser wouldn’t do as they tend to think about themselves and see their victims as a means to release their troubles
> Celaena also has a go at Rowan for putting Luca on the ice during this halter, for endangering him unnecessarily. She then proceeds to 'launch herself at him’ after threatening 'I will kill you’. Rowan is not the only one who instigated fights and threatens the other. This fight is symbolic her character development as instead of fighting for a chance to be hurt as she did during the beginning, she is now protecting others. Furthermore, during this fight Rowan gets punched several times by Celaena and it 'vaguely occurs to her that he has gone still and was taking it’ - if anything she is 'abusing’ him here. An abuser once again would definitely fight back if their victim decided to attack them as this would threaten their dominance and security as if a victim gets away then they could tell others about what has happened.
> Rowan does pin Celaena during this fight but once again does not hurt her even though she is in a vulnerable position and it would be easy for him to. Again, they are alone and isolated and he would have a good excuse for any of her wounds as they wee training if he were an abuser.

LATER AELIN IS WITH ROWAN BECAUSE HE ACCEPTS HER FOR WHO SHE IS AND WHAT SHE HAS DONE WHICH IS THE DEFINING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIM AND CHAOL AS CHAOL IS DISGUSTED BY AELIN’S PREVIOUS ACTIONS AND ABILITIES AS A FAE. ROWAN ON THE OTHER HAND HELPS HER THROUGH IT AND IS SUPPORTIVE OF EVERYTHING

Chapter 35
> Rowan opens himself up to Celaena and this makes him vulnerable which an abuser wouldn’t do as then their victim could have potential power over them. Also, the undertone is one of understanding and support here

Chapter 39
> 'grabbed her chin but not hard enough to hurt’ this isn’t abuse as it doesn’t actually hurt Celaena

Calanmai scene
> a dramatic change occurs in their relationship here because they start to acknowledge their friendship and form this point on Rowan is very protective and caring for Celaena (e.g. he takes her out of the room that is 'like a prison’ which is a metaphor for how Rowan is taking her out of the pain and suffering she is in and by placing her in his room it represents how they have formed their friendship for real and will be partners and will help each other through their emotional trauma)

At the end of the book
> Rowan fights for and with Celaena, even going to summon the cadre to help her out all because Celaena wants his help which suggests that he is under her control
> Rowan also makes her give him the blood oath which definitely makes him under her control which shows how he is not an abuser because an abuser would not want someone to have control over them

HENCE ROWAN DOESN’T HAVE THE PERSONALITY OF AN ABUSER AND HIS ACTIONS ARE NECESSARY IN THE BOOK FOR SURVIVAL OF CHARACTERS OR DEFENCE OR TO FURTHER THE PLOT OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. THE FIGHTS ARE NECESSARY BECAUSE THEY ATE FIRSTLY TRAINING AND ALSO THEY SERVE AS METAPHORS/SYMBOLS (JUST LIKE THE ROOM AND COMMENTS) TO REPRESENT HOW THEY ARE BOTH IN A BAD PLACE OR TO PRESENT A DEVELOPMENT OF CHARACTER OR OF PLOT @sjmaas

Better Angels - Ch. 16

“So,” Lena noted as she shucked her jacket and ‘working’ gear, “Amé seems to be doing pretty well.”

Emily nodded from where she lay on the bed, enjoying the show. “She’s getting better at doing things just because she feels like it, rather than needing a mission or a justification.”

Lena paused to pull her sports bra off, then grinned back over her shoulder. “Like making us breakfast?”

“Like making us breakfast,” Emily agreed with a smile, “she didn’t mention a word of that to me before we fell asleep last night.”

Lena nodded, then paused as something occurred to her. “How’s she been sleeping?”

“Decently, I think. We haven’t shared a bed every night, but she hasn’t woken me up with a nightmare since…hm. Week after you went out, I think.” Emily’s smile turned a bit wicked. “Aside from that, well, you’ll just have to try for yourself and we can compare notes later.”

Lena’s eyes widened. “You…oooo. Sure I can’t hear a few details?”

Emily sat up, running her hand over the sheet. “Are you asking me to kiss and tell, sweet?”

Joining her on the bed, Lena considered that. “Well…I suppose that would be pretty rude.”

Emily leaned in, her arm slipping around the shorter woman’s waist. “It really would. But I think she’d feel comfortable with me letting you know the blue goes all the way down.

break ups

you know what really sucks when you think you found the one and then they walk away from you like you were nothing. first ur in shock because you thought they loved you and you would be together forever but no they found someone better. then you go to blaming ur self because you think ur not good enough. let me tell you something you are perfect in every way you don’t need any body to make you happy because in the end of the day you have you and you have to be happy with ur self. it fucking sucks because its nice to have someone make you feel special but you cant force something to work. even though it seems like the world is ending right now it will be okay. you do have the right to be sad. if anyone tells you just tell you to get over it fuck them their assholes that person meant the world to you. they were you’re everything so when they left you felt like you had nothing. 

To Jack (and Community)

@therealjacksepticeye I don’t know if you will see this but if you do, I would love it if you could give me some positivity and motivation. Anxiety/depression are just bad today and I want to make some thoughts go away. You’re one of the most happy, positive and encouraging people I know, so I know that there will be something you can say that will make me feel at least a bit better. <3

And if you don’t see this, I know that the community will be here for me because they always are and it’s wonderful *gives hugs to everyone reading this* 💚

^^need this rn :(