need couch

8

bonus:

Golden Boy

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2165

Warnings: Smut - NSFW

Summary: After playfully sending suggestive pictures to Chris right before he presents at the Oscars you realize that you are in for the night of your life.

Author’s Notes: This wasn’t planned. I had no idea Chris was going to wear a velvet bowtie to the Oscars. I’m basically CEvans Trash. I literally just wrote this – instead of watching the freaking Oscars – so if there are any ridiculous grammar errors – please forgive me… I am tired and hormonal. This is probably trash, ha!

I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this (along with some others). Soo yeah…..

Originally posted by sensualkisses

You hummed to yourself absentmindedly as you applied the rest of your makeup. Chris had promised his mom that he would take her to the Oscars this year, and you had agreed that it was a good idea. After the show was over you were to meet up with him to go to the after parties – which, let’s face it, were always the best part of the night. As you rapped your knuckles lightly on the bathroom countertop your phone dinged – alerting you to an incoming message. You reached for it as you finished putting on your lipstick. Of course it was from Chris.

“Miss you beautiful. Can’t wait to show you off to everyone.” You couldn’t help but smile at this. Of course he would send you something sweet. He had panicked that you would be upset about not going with him to the show, but you had assured him over and over that it was fine.

You had watched him get ready earlier that afternoon – the sight of him in his fitted suit and velvet tie had left your panties soaked. While you had secretly hoped for a quickie before he left for the show you had reasoned with yourself that there wasn’t time. Even the thought of the way he looked caused the tingling between your legs to start again. You checked the time on your cellphone before smiling. If the show was running on time Chris would be presenting within the next five minutes – you turned towards the television playing in the hotel bedroom for confirmation that the scheduling had not gone askew. It hadn’t and you couldn’t help but think how perfect the timing was. You were still only wearing your lingerie – not willing to wear your beautiful dress in fear of getting makeup on it. You positioned your hand over your panties, suggestively touching yourself, and formed a pout before snapping a picture.

“Wishing you could give me a hand.” You texted as you sent the picture. You could tell by your notifications that he had immediately seen it and you couldn’t help but smirk to yourself as you sat your phone down and finished getting ready.


“Jesus Christ,” Chris muttered to himself as he opened your text.

“Everything okay?” Someone beside him asked.

“Oh yeah… yeah,” he nervously blundered as he secured his phone safely back into his pocket. He was due to go on national television any minute, and was now also secretly praying that he could quell his body’s response to your text long enough to present. He chuckled nervously to himself. He knew you had done it on purpose. He had told you when his presentation was, and who it was after so you wouldn’t miss it. “I swear to god, Y/N. You’re going to be the death of me,” he mumbled to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Mr. Evans are you sure you’re okay?” A stagehand asked nervously.

“Never been better!” He announced a little too enthusiastically. Causing his co-presenter to jump beside me.

“Great… you are on in five….four…”

That was fine – he thought to himself – two could certainly play this game and payback was going to be a bitch.


You were nervous. After your text you had never received a response from Chris, but you were sure that he had saw it. Initially you had laughed during his presentation. He seemed maybe just a little flustered – most people wouldn’t have noticed, but most people hadn’t taken him to bed before either. As you exited the limousine you looked around nervously – nearly jumping out of your skin when a warm arm wrapped itself around your waist.

“Hey Babe,” he whispered into your ear – giving you a quick peck on the cheek. You looked up at him and he graced you with one his dazzling smiles. It was only when you really looked into his eyes that you realized he had definitely seen the picture, had certainly reacted to it, and the game was totally on. You swallowed hard – trying to bottle up your excitement as he smirked at you while you walked towards the entrance of the venue. “Just for the record,” he whispered – his beard tickling your ear – “I had to masturbate in the bathroom during the Academy Awards, because of you.” He gave your ass a quick slap which caused you to straighten up in surprise. You couldn’t help but smirk back at him – this was certainly going to be a night to remember.


“Sebby!” Chris shouted as he waived Sebastian over to your table. Sebastian said his hellos before taking a seat between Jeremy and Chris.

“What was up with you tonight?” Sebastian asked with a smirk. His eyes seemed to twinkle with humor as he offered you a wink.

“What do you mean?” Chris asked as he tried his hardest to keep a straight face – failing miserably.

“You seemed a little flustered is all,” Sebastian shrugged as he laughed. “Can’t imagine what would cause Chris to lose his cool,” he added to which Jeremy chuckled.

“I was a little distracted by something,” Chris added seriously as he turned his gaze to you. You knew the more his friends joked the more you were going to pay once you were alone with him.

You smiled shyly as you brought a glass of wine to your lips. “I guess you need to work on that babe,” you shrugged before turning your attention back to your conversation with Jeremy’s wife.


The following hours seemed uneventful – at least where Chris’s revenge was concerned. You gushed over celebrities like Emma Stone, as he politely introduced you – never taking his eyes off of you as you interacted with his friends. Everyone continued to drink – the alcohol seemed endless. Each time a bottle was finished at least two more arrived to replace it.

“Everyone should be dancing!” Sebastian declared as he rose from his chair.

“Oh come on man,” Chris muttered as he shook his head. His face was tinged pink from the amount of alcohol he had consumed. “I don’t know if I can even stand right now,” he laughed.

“Y/N?” Sebastian asked as he offered you his hand. You took it willingly looking over his shoulder to see Chris’s reaction. He was watching you like a hawk – good.

You left the table with Sebastian hand-in-hand. Out of all of Chris’s friends you liked Sebastian the best – probably because you had known him before you had ever met Chris. “You are going to have hell to pay,” Seb laughed as you danced against him.

“A girl can only hope,” you laughed as you smirked in Chris’s direction. He was already rising from his chair – his eyes trained only on you and his best friend.

“That didn’t take long,” Sebastian laughed as Chis meandered his way through the crowd. As he neared Sebastian shouted, “She’s all yours,” before laughing and walking back to the table where everyone else had stayed.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Chris muttered into your ear as he pulled you roughly into him. He placed his hands on your hips –guiding them to grind into him as you felt his growing erection. “You kill me,” he muttered breathlessly against your neck. You could feel the wetness between your legs grow as he continued to harden against your contact. The feeling caused you to let out a soft moan. “Oh do you like that,” he whispered seductively into your ear.

“Yes,” you responded breathlessly. “Chris, I…” but he cut you off.

“Follow me,” he demanded as he took your hand, guiding you towards one of the many private bathrooms. Being a celebrity had its perks – at least you had a room to yourself.


You sighed as Chris looked the bathroom door behind him. You were ready. Ready for him to ravage every part of your body.

“Not so fast,” he chuckled as he pushed you gently onto the couch – you never quite understood the need for couches in bathrooms, but for once you were glad to have one. You pouted quietly as Steve took you in. “Now listen here baby girl – you’ve been torturing me all night. Sending me that naughty picture of you and grinding yourself up against my best friend. Now it’s my turn,” he muttered softly as he slowly removed his tie. “Give me your hands,” he commanded. You obeyed giving him your hands. He took them in his hands and tied the velvet material around them securely. He spun you on the couch – making you lay on it fully before raising your hands above your head. “These better not move, do you understand me?” He asked. You nodded as you whimpered your assent. You would do whatever he said if he would help the aching feeling between your legs.

He smirked as he worked your dress up to your waist – admiring a portion of the lingerie he had seen earlier in the picture. He slowly planted kisses up your leg causing you to squirm uncontrollably. More than anything you wanted to twist your fingers through his hair and you soon found your hands moving from their position. “What did I say?” he asked calmly as you placed your hands back above your head. “Good girl,” he hummed – kissing your wet core through your panties. “I think we can get rid of these,” he murmured against your skin as he worked your panties off. He gently circled his thumb around your sensitive clit causing you to buck your hips. “Mmm, my naughty girl. You’re so wet,” he remarked as he slid a finger inside of you causing you to moan out his name. “That’s right baby, you’re mine,” he said fiercely as he added another finger – pumping them in and out of you as you squirmed with pleasure. You could feel your walls tightening at his touch and your moans became louder. You didn’t care who heard you. “Not yet baby,” he whispered as he removed his fingers.

“What?” Your head snapped forward at this. He couldn’t just get you close and then stop. “Chris,” you whined as you tried to sit up. He pushed you back gently with a smile before moving his face between your legs. He smirked up at you before burying his face into you. As he lapped at your wetness you moaned his name louder causing him to suck on your sensitive clit. As you bucked your hips he slid a finger into you. His mouth and fingers were too much – causing you to cum all over his face. He lapped away your orgasm – causing more moans to fall from your mouth – before he broke away with a smirk. His beard was glistening with the remnants of your pleasure which immediately made you ready for round two.

“Stand up,” he demanded as he stood and offered you his hand. You placed your bound ones in his and he helped you to your feet. “I want you to bend over the sink,” he explained as he motioned over to the sink. You did as he commanded – your bound wrists stinging softly as the velvet bit into your soft flesh. You watched in the mirror as he removed himself from his pants – stroking himself a few times before approaching you from behind. He lifted your dress to your waist again before nudging your legs apart with his own. As he slid into you fully you groaned. He began to thrust into you as he held on to your hips tightly. “God – you are so tight,” he exclaimed as his thrusts began to become more disjointed. You groaned as your body reacted to his thrusts – you could feel your walls tightening again with the promise of a glorious orgasm. When he began palming your sensitive clit you came undone around him – your orgasm spurring his own. He stiffened as he filled you with himself. He sighed softly into your hair as he kissed the back of your neck affectionately before removing himself.

“So that’s what happens when I send you nudes when you’re at the Oscars?” you asked with a laugh as you sat shakily on the couch.

“I guess so,” he chuckled as he plopped down beside you – wrapping his arm around you and bringing your head to his shoulder.

“Well I guess I should do that more often,” you shrugged as you both laughed.

“Oh hell,” Chris sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What is it?” you asked alarmed.

“Seb and I had a bet on who would have sex at an Oscars’ after party years ago. I never thought it would be me so I’ve given him hell for years about it,” he grimaced.

“Well I guess it’s time to pay up,” you chuckled as you both rose from the couch.

“It was worth every last fucking penny,” Chris responded as he pulled you into him – planting a soft kiss on your lips.


Tags: (I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this along with a few others)

@writingblockswriters @kendallefire @marvelouslyloki @seargantbcky @sapphire1727 @dont-let-me-go-again @amrita31199 @kittthekat @3brosangel @yknott81 @samanthaneedsanap @dreamer1495 @frolicsomefawkes @totallygroovyllama @caffeineandlaserbeams @sebbys-girl @bless-my-demons @moonofhisheart @giggles2107 @summerbummer2001 @ninjayjumper @vidishajain @fan-guirl @ily-celebrities @harleyqueen7

Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler): Furnishings in the Manga and their History

(The goal of this little side stepping of posts is to go over the furnishings in black Butler and talk about the history of these actual Victorian and Edwardian house hold items that can be seen throughout the series. We’re starting with the Chapter title pages since they’re the easiest to see and then to splash pages or pages where the furniture is an obvious part of the scene. )

Chapter 125 and 126: Ciel and Soma, Agni and Sebastian on a Tête-à-tête, or Courting (Conversation) Bench.

So in chapter 125 and 126 we’re introduced to a rather interesting image. Ciel and Soma sitting on a strange looking couch or bench, where Ciel is facing away from Soma, as he leans over to talk to him. The following chapter gives the reverse of this where Angi is in silent meditation and prayer while Sebastian is leaning over and whispering things in his ear.

What’s interesting is not only the dynamic of the character set up with this: Soma trying to talk to ciel who is trying to cut him out by not facing him, his back to the audience as well, and Sebastian whispering sweetly into Agni’s ear, possibly denoting some sense of temptation. But you have a perfect example of how this bench can work for both a common conversation (Soma and Ciel) and a more intimate one (Sebastian and Agni).

The Tête-à-tête (or head to head in French) bench is a rather interesting couch as its history is not that long or convoluted like a lot of other historical chairs. Built in the 19th century its design is in an S shape for the very reason of its existence, to keep people from eavesdropping on conversations, as well as allow courting couples to speak to each other without having to sit awkwardly on a traditional bench.

The idea of the Courting couch came about as a means of making conversation easier for those at parties or balls. Normally when one was at an event, one would take a seat if one was tired of dancing or standing talking. Benches were longer as were couches, allowing for three people to sit and the issue really became for women whose hair and clothing style made it harder for them to turn their heads and talk to their gentlemen admires. The Conversation couch alleviated much of that by essentially placing to chairs back to back and side to side, so that the two people talking could converse without looking like they were doing more than just that.

The distance between the seats allowed for both a sense of personal space as well as intimate discussion. There’s an arm shared between them, so that if a lady were to put her hand up, her admirer could potentially place his on hers with the utmost of discretion. The person would have to lean over some to whisper into another person’s ears if need be, ala Sebastian to Agni, or just easily converse as Soma is to Ciel, since the person that is seated opposite you would have their ear closer to your mouth, thus easier to hear what you had to say.

These benches were favored among people during the Victorian era as it allowed them to keep their distance, so that they could keep up their good decorum, while still allowing for a couple to make plans with one another and flirt. This was the ultimate in romance at the time for younger couples who wanted to be together at events but couldn’t do what was seen as improper at the time, such as cuddling and all that.

For those that were non couples the Conversation bench could allow for whispers for a business deal, gossip or other discussion that one did not want to be heard by your fellow party goers. This piece is still in use today and is making a small sort of comeback, though it’s not as big as it once was due to some aspects of the bench’s limitations.

Modern versions of the Tête-à-tête show up as sofas allowing for a longer space, and in some cases some very interesting chairs. Conversation couches need more space than traditional couches as they have to have space for the legs of the two people and can’t be put up against a wall, so normally it’s in the center of a room, or part of a set that is off the wall. One also needs to make sure that both sides are facing something interesting, so that the people sitting will not be facing a blank wall, or feel boxed in.

There are a number of variations in modern times of the Tête-à-tête as seen below:

Need Couch/floor/honestly anything urgently (Chicago, IL)

hi, I am a 27 y/o black trans feminine person in dire need of a place to sleep. my ex has kicked me out of our apartment and I lost my job right after. I’ve been completely unable to find stable work in Milwaukee, WI so I’m trying to find a place to live in Chicago where work opportunities are better and I would still be close enough to MKE to take the greyhound to go see my kids when I could. my ex has given me a deadline to move of 1 June but I might be able to stay with my mom for less than a month after that if I still need more time. 

I don’t really know how long exactly I would be there since I have to find a job but once I have one we can work out a way for me to contribute to rent and I can try to re-evaluate the situation after that. all I would be bringing with me are clothes and a laptop. my Tumblr handle is ramonaxknives and my Twitter handle is ramonaknives

listen…..modern au where fantine has a v lorelai-rory relationship with cosette AND cosette’s lesbian gf eponine. fantine knows eponine comes from a rough family so she tries her very best to shower her with all the love and protection she’s never received at home

2

do y’think Kurt’s fur stands on end like a cat’s when he gets upset and then no one can take him seriously because he’s even more fluffy than usual and it’s just too cute

 
Couch Tom

So, I made the grave mistake of googling “Tom Hiddleston couch” (I blame @starrynight35 for this, she’ll know why)…and I realized just how many devastating pics of Tom on a couch there are. Sharing is caring, so…

There are more, but I died from ‘Tom on a couch’ overload.

Bonus:

(Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Took all the pics from Google, some have credit on them.)

@deathbyukmen @adamcansuckme @i-wanna-be-toms-body-pillow @heavymist @imaginaryboyfriendcollection

anonymous asked:

Hey Kaz, I was wondering if you could not make a top 10 of Yuuri Katsuki's hidden talents that left Victor on the floor (Like playing the piano you mentioned earlier)

10) Yuuri is strong. Viktor knew this already since Yuuri is a professional athlete but he didn’t realised just quiet how strong Yuuri was until he saw Yuuri casually lift up one end of the couch without breaking a sweat to find something he had dropped. Viktor needed the couch to swoon on after that one

9) Yuuri has a natural affinity with animals. He’s that guy who can sit on a park bench and get birds to eat out of his hand while Viktor is attacked by seagulls

8) Yuuri is good at picking up other languages, partly through natural talent but mostly because he just works really really hard at it. Once he’s committed to learning he wont stop until he’s perfect. This meant that when Viktor started teaching him Russian he got bowled over by his beautiful fiancé spouting full conversational sentences with and already writing in shaky Cyrillic barely weeks after they started

7) Yuuri has an amazing head for random facts and pieces of information. It comes from growing up in an onsen when tourist used to ask random questions about specific parts of the town and the history and Yuuri ended up picking up a lot of random facts as he grew up. His talent for memorising these random facts carried over even when he left Hasetsu which means when he and Viktor are watching game shows, he’s the one answering some of the most obscure questions before the contestants while Viktor looks at him in awe.

6) Yuuri is a master of video games (he and Phichit’s Mario cart tournaments were legendary back in Detroit). Every time he and Viktor play he absolutely crushes Viktor into the dirt

5) Yuuri is a really good cook. It came from years of being expected to help out at the onsen, he picked up cooking naturally and kept doing it in Detroit (Phichit once commented he would quiet literally kill a man for Yuuri’s cooking. Yuuri wasn’t entirely sure that he was joking). Viktor never had anyone to teach him how to cook and never really learned because he could just order food in or buy premade. As soon as he got together with Yuuri however he started to learn because he wanted to be able to make the amazing meals for Yuuri that Yuuri made for him. This resulted in Yuuri cooking twice a week (with results that left Viktor crying in happiness and the Russian team ‘randomly’ dropping by for dinner every time they knew it was happening), Viktor cooking twice a week (with results of varying success. He got better over time) and them cooking together the other three days, mainly involving Viktor doing all the chopping and preparing and Yuuri doing the more delicate, skilled parts.

4) Yuuri can play piano. Viktor didn’t know this until they moved in together and he walked in one day to Yuuri playing his keyboard softly and singing to himself. Viktor begged that he play at their wedding once he found out

3) On the same vein as no.4, Yuuri can sing. Yuuri can sing really really well. The combination of piano playing singing Yuuri left Viktor sobbing on the floor like ‘I’m marrying an angel’

2) Yuuri is really really flexible. It comes from doing ballet for so many years and also the yoga classes he took for relaxation but it means he’s basically like a rubber band, he can casually contort himself into the craziest positions. Viktor enjoys this for many different reasons

1) Yuuri’s degree in Detroit was sports science which means he has a really good knowledge of physiology and anatomy. On an academic level Viktor loves how smart he is but on a personal level it means that Yuuri gives the best back massages. He knows exactly where to press to work all the tension out of Viktor’s shoulders and Viktor thanks any deity that might exist on a regular basis for Yuuri’s magic hands. He also reciprocates by being able to give Yuuri the best foot massages in history and so it all balances out well for both of them

Children of Hecate

Requested by anonymous.

  • Children of Hecate sometimes stay up all night practicing their sorcery. 
  • Other campers usually bring coffee or other hot drinks to their sleep-deprived friends from cabin 20.
  • As their mother was granted power in all the realms (sky, ocean, earth and underworld) by the Big Three, using the four elements in their witchcraft can strengthen their spell.
  • The runes and inscriptions in the stones they used to build their cabin don’t only strengthen the walls of their cabin and lessen their unintended spell-casting, but also make it so their cabin is bigger on the inside.
  • They all even have their own rooms as they - like their mother - like solitude.
  • The Hecate cabin also has their own treasure room in which they keep objects the Hecate campers have collected on their quests.
  • They only keep the magical or enchanted objects though and send everything else to the attic of the Big House.
  • One kid got inspired by reading Harry Potter and now a lot of Hecate campers have enchanted their ceilings just like the Great Hall.
  • Hecate likes to help her kids learn how to use their powers.
  • They have a huge mirror to contact their mother whenever they have questions or “my spell still didn’t work and now we need a new couch”.
  • Once they are claimed, Hecate gives her children a crash course on all the different forms of magic and learns them the basics of each.
  • Eventually they have to choose a specialty though, as there are too many different forms of magic to excel in them all.
  • Naturally, they love fantasy novels. 
  • A lot of them love wearing eccentric clothing, long cloak-like dresses or even actual cloaks. 
  • They don’t even know why.
  • Their grades at school usually aren’t always the best, but they constantly surprise (read; annoy) their teachers by knowing the most random facts.
  • They might not know who fought who in the battle of Waterloo, but “did you know Napoleon legalised homosexuality?
  • “Also he stopped killing ‘witches’ at the same time”, but them knowing this has nothing to do with their mother also being the goddess of trivia. 
  • “Who were they kidding anyway, trying to drown us.”
  • “Yeah, just because we have power underwater doesn’t mean they’re going to see us use it. They’ll just have a ‘death’ to explain while our ancestral sisters moved to the next village.”
  • “And what about our brothers? Super sexist if you ask me.”
  • Of course, kids of Hecate are all feminists no matter what their gender is.
Warframe personalities from how I see them, by my first glance at them.

Heads up, this is a long post. Enjoy~!

Ash: Aloof mofo with a stabbing habit. could rob you of all your money in texas hold ‘em. Too much damn side eye. Kills everyone is the room, then breaks for coffee like nothing happened. Ninja who steals the last slice of cake from the fridge.

Atlas: would kick your ass then be your best bro. is dead inside? somewhat likely but can’t tell anymore. makes shitty jokes. I get he’s a one punch man stone golem, but c’mon, the guy gives pretty good hugs.

Banshee: Resting bitch face, but is sound sensitive so she has a reason. Most likely up to god knows what hours listening to music enjoying synethesia sensations. Knows a thing or two about where to find the best obscure books. Caring protective friend.

Chroma: Moody guy who just wants some fucking peace and quiet. Hoards things like trophies from kills, bet this guy has so many hunting trophies? ffs, his ult is a dragon pelt, might as well be a dragon! Really good at pissing off people without even trying.

Ember: Sassy friend wants all the tea. Best booty to boot. You see that guy over there? He’s on fire. She fucking murdered him with sick comebacks. Don’t get me wrong though, she might like her bacon crispy but she’s a pretty loyal friend. Probably would come get your ass for a revive with intent to raze the fucking field with wildfire.

Equinox: Calm balanced friend??? Has two sides she shows to different people, everyone who talks to her might find something different about her. Likes keeping a lot of houseplants in her room in the dojo. Courteous and polite and gives the best backhanded compliments under a pleasant facade.

Excalibur: Average Joe. Good at a lot but not the best, really doesn’t give his best. Very athletic. rushes through missions impatiently. Might play too many hack’n’slash games in his spare time.

Frost: Stoic, quiet, probably has some thought going on at all times. Reads a lot of mythology from before the orokin era. Procrastinates and stalls for his buddies while holding down the fort. solid person to talk to if you need someone to listen.

Hydroid: The guy has enough mentions about tentacle porn, it’s safe to say he’s hoarding a hentai stash somewhere. or people assume. just a guy who loves the water, could talk for days about fish and where to find all the best seafood restaurants. has had enough people mentioning pirates around him. has a good, hearty laugh.

Inaros: Tired, always fucking tired. Sleep? I’ll sleep when I’m dead. if you can kill me, that is. Mmm. nom. Corpus tastes metallic. Grineer tastes like really bad slimy chicken. I’m not sharing what infested taste like. Shields? What the heck is that? Appreciates old architecture and hoards ayatan statues.

Ivara: Sneaky sneaky~ I got an arrow for just about any job. Just because i am a cyclops doesn’t mean i don’t have depth perception, dumbass. Carefree happy lady, fun to talk to. Makes lots of banter with teammates on missions.

Limbo: Trolls might love this guy, why doesn’t he have a fedora helmet yet? I’ve not seen enough Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure to know what those references mean. He’s a real gentleman, very inquisitive. He’s a scientist? Aw, cool. Prolly spacing out while carousing through the rift, thinking about his next project.

Loki: The Cheeseframe is what people call him. Knows where all the loot is, all the time. Giggling and pulling pranks 24/7. Can do shit effortlessly and stares at his team wondering why the fuck the had to trigger the damn alarm in a mission. Also, hammerhead shark. This guys likes playing card games too.

Mag: In a state of calm and panic at the same time. Doesn’t show much though. Magnetic personality? Could crush your heart in a minute. Has a good taste in interior design, rather good at art deco/ industrial. Has some walls to get through before befriending her, but melts like a marshmellow when ya do.

Mesa: 360 no scope!!! It’s high noon! okay, now that’s out of the way, let’s keep going. Keeps an orderly schedule, off doing solo missions all the time. Loves a good movie, could talk about her favorite film for hours. Deserts are dry? So is her humor. Would shoot you without even thinking.

Mirage: You thought Loki’s pranks were bad? At least her enemies get these night mare shows and not you. This chick loves horror films, special effects make up and disco. Pretty good at good at lighting up the room and your smile. She really just wants a good time, okay?

Nekros: Sick mofo who tells dead baby jokes. Has some interesting kinks. Rarely eats, if ever. Would look you dead in the eye and try to tell you bad puns seriously as possible. Has seen the dead walk again, thinks they’re best buddies. good guy to go to a graveyard with.

Nezha: Srsly good looking.. guy? girl? oh idc he can be genderfluid and i’d still think he’s attractive. Got serious hula skills. Never takes himself seriously and just loves going for long missions. Knows a thing or two about culture, rather classy guy but can be a bit childish. Never really grew up, but you don’t notice that behind the charm.

Nidus: This is the I-don’t-give-a damn guy. He wrecks everything he touches, spreads space aids, yet his personality is far from cancer. Very good with animals. A bit messy. Too many damn things talking in his head from the infested and ignores them like a champ. They bend to his will.

Nova: A Good Egg, if slightly cracked. Giggles at the mention of inane words. Everything explodes!!! ADHD in a frame. Good natured wholesome friend who loves everyone. Bad habit of breaking appliances and electronics. Geiger counters near her start playing Imagine Dragon’s Radioactive?

Nyx: Look at this frame. You took a good warframe and gave it anxiety, sheesh. Shy, kinda hard to deal with hearing everyone’s thoughts sometimes. ain’t got time for your drama. Loves talking about current events, but not much of a gossip out of respect for others. giant personal space bubble, do not touch!

Oberon: Royal pain in the ass, but a lovable doofus so you kinda just let it go. Very protective dad friend, complete with dad jokes. Probably would like to finish your sandwich if you’re not gonna eat it. Would open his home to you if you needed a couch to surf on.

Octavia: This girl loves all music, could help you find just the mix you were looking for. Got sick dance moves too. Might have been in band. Would happily binge watch any tv show with you and discuss everything about it. You don’t know what so charming about her, but you really like her so you always accept her invites. Had a bad habit of fidgeting.

Rhino: This guy could bench press a grineer ship in one hand and corpus ship in the other. you don’t move out of his way, he runs you over, simple as that. gym rat, for sure. somewhat impatient. watches way too many superhero blockbusters and devours the comics. Mows down the entire enemy wave just get your sorry bleeding ass back up and fighting again.

Saryn: Oh, good lotus, this chick has got good looks and a deadly touch. Cunning girl could outsmart anyone. Low key annoyed in general. Would back stab you without a thought, given a reason. Knows a lot about cooking. I mean, if you’re going to poison someone or at least know how to work in the biolab you should probably know how this type of chemistry works. dodges responsibility a lot tho.

Titania: flighty as fuck, gets startled easily. graceful; she has good fashion sense. you have no idea where she came from in the room. fairy tales are definitely her thing, but happy endings really aren’t true with that state of things right now in the solar system. too many butterflies, but is fine with it since they help her stay calm. Actually really good at flying archwings, I think?

Trinity: First one to rush into the fight, last one to leave until everyone is okay. Is the Mom friend. Likes to be helpful. Rather much a bitch to those she hates. She may have an open heart, but don’t walk all over this girl. Cross her once, shame on you. Cross her twice, she leaves you for dead on eris, end of story.

Valkyr: Look, she’s been through some shit, has ptsd, the very least you can do is give her a cat plushie and your support, okay? Gets angry easily and has meltdowns. She’s not a pushover. She knows what’s best, she can endure. semi serious, jokes fly over her head. it may take a bit for her to like you. literally a cat frame, you don’t know love until you’ve been loved by a cat.

Vauban: Forget Limbo being a troll. This is THE trollframe. Went to college for engineering, came back out a smart ass. Don’t loan money to him, he prolly won’t pay ya back. Pretty good drinking buddy tho. Reads a shit ton of shakespear to know what that sense of humor really is. Shit poster, meme hoarder extrordinaire. you can have a grenade! And you can have a grenade! YOU ALL CAN HAVE GRENADES!

Volt: Impeccable taste mixed with sharp commentary. Why does he have a helmet that’s a boob? maybe he has a high schooler’s sense of humor? would be honest with you and tell you straight up what needs to be done. This guy likes expensive suits. Has a tendency to be impulsive.

Wukong: Has loads of stories to tell. Good memory. Can comeback from just about any setback. determined and will happily grind with you in missions for hours. Also pretty damn stubborn and doesn’t listen well to others, kinda has to speak first.

Zephyr: Life’s a breeze here, right? Kinda goes with whatever and has a hard time deciding on things. Kinda clumsy too. Crashes raids and blows away the enemy. Usually minds her own business with her head in the clouds.

Mr. Shark

“Peter is a child.” Tony hisses into the phone. He’s keeping one eye on the kid from where he is standing, not hiding just standing, around the corner.

“He’s normally a child Tony, what’s your point?” Rhodey asks, Tony can hear him yawning over the line.

“Yes, he’s normally like 14 though not 4.” Tony is definitely not screeching in distress. “Normally he is my height, not this tiny thing.”

“What?” Rhodey asks, and he sounds more awake now.

“I don’t know, Friday says it’s Peter, but he’s like 2.” Tony peeks out to see Peter trying to pull himself onto the couch, he gets a wave and a gap-toothed grin.

“I thought he was 4.” Rhodey points out, and it sounds like he’s laughing at Tony.

“I don’t know what age he is, he’s small Rhodey. I need help, please come help me with the spider kid.” He pleads, waving back at Peter. Peter starts to toddle towards him.

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning.” Rhodey grumbles, and the dial tone sounds in his ear. Tony’s eyes are wide with fear when Peter bumps into his leg.

“Tomorrow morning?” His voice is little more than a squeak.

“That is what he said boss.” Friday replies, she sounds smug.

“Okay, hi Peter.” Tony greets crouching down next to the kid. “I’m Tony Stark.” He holds out his hand to the little guy.

“Hi!” Peter shouts, grabbing onto his hands. “I like your bobots.” He holds out his arms in the normal kid gesture for pick me up, and Tony does, hefting the kid onto his hip.

“Really, which of my robots is your favorite?” He asks, bouncing a little. Peter squeals excitedly.

“I like the nice wall lady, and the dumb rolly robot, but my favorite is suit lady.” He informs Tony, nodding excitedly. “She’s nice.” Tony laughs.

“She is, isn’t she? You know I think you are her favorite human too.” He pokes Peter’s nose for emphasis. Peter giggles, grabbing onto his glasses with one hand, and yanking them off his face. “Ow.” Tony winces, and the glasses snap in half, apparently the little spider still has some super strength.

“Oh no.” His eye’s go wide and glossy and he looks up at Tony. “Please no mad. I didn’t mean to Mr. Shark.” Tony is trying very hard not to look like he wants to cry. “Please don’t leave.” Peter sniffles.

“I’m not leaving Peter, I’m right here. The glasses are dumb anyways.” He takes what’s left of them from Peter and drops them in the garbage. “See all gone.”

“No gone. I broke the boat and you were gone, no leaving now.” Peter insists, clutching at Tony’s shirt. Tony drops onto the couch, he needs to look put together for the kid, but his heart feels like it’s breaking in his chest. He gave Peter abandonment issues. He was trying to break the cycle, and he failed. Gesturing with his left arm for Dum-E to come over, he tries to soothe the kid.

“I’m so sorry Peter. I shouldn’t have left you then, and I won’t leave you now. I promise.” He pats Peter’s pack in an attempt to be comforting. Dum-E rolls over, blanket clutched in his claw.

“Pinky promise?” Peter asks, holding up his pinky.

“Pinky promise.” Tony links his pinky with Peter’s just as Dum-E drops a blanket onto both of their heads. “Thanks Dum-E.” Tony grumbles, it makes Peter giggle so Tony will consider it a success.

“You’re not mad?” Peter asks.

“Nah those glasses were dumb anyways. I’m much prettier without them.” Tony informs him. Peter reaches out, grubby fingers poking at Tony’s cheeks.

“Your eye is dark under. Aunt May says it’s a bag but that doesn’t make any sense.” Peter informs him. “You put things in bags.” He informs Tony.

“I do not have bags under my eyes.” Tony insists. Peter looks as unconvinced as a four-year-old can. “I get a healthy amount of sleep.”

“Mr. Shark, you don’t sleep, ever.” Peter points out, and Tony doesn’t really have an argument, and he doesn’t really want to correct Peter’s pronunciation of Stark, so it’s time to change the topic.

“Friday, how long until Rhodey gets here?”  He asks.

“Based on his flight plan, he should arrive at the building in approximately 10 hours.”  Friday replies. Tony tries not to look absolutely horrified.

“I’m going to die.” He whispers, Peter pats his cheek comfortingly.

“Don’t worry Mr. Shark, I protect you.” Peter assures him, it’s the cutest thing Tony has ever seen and he’s going to wrap this kid in bubble wrap and never let him outside into the dangerous world ever again.

I sometimes think I’m very stoic and emotionless but I just thought about Peter stuck under the rubble and started crying so…