need a new plague

The signs as The Office quotes

Aries: “Occasionally I’ll hit someone with my car. So sue me.”

Taurus: “I’m not superstitious…but I am a little-stitious.”

Gemini: “DWIGHT, YOU IGNORANT SLUT.” 

Cancer: “I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.”

Leo: “I am Beyonce, always.” 

Virgo: “There’s too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.”

Libra: “Saddle shoes with denim? I will literally call protective services.”

Scorpio: “…that’s what she said”

Sagittarius: “If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”

Capricorn: “I have flaws. What are they? I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit someone with my car.”

Aquarius: “Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.”

Pisces: “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” 

  • *john and sherlock in a big crowd*
  • sherlock: there's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague.
  • john: o-o
B.A.P as memorable quotes from “the office”

Yongguk: “Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!”

Himchan: “I am Beyonce. Always.”

Daehyun: “Friends joke with one another! Hey, you’re poor. Hey, your momma’s dead. That’s what friends do.”

Youngjae: “There’s too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.”

Jongup: “Sometimes i’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.”

Zelo: “The worst thing about prison was–was the dementors.”

From Con to Con (Part Six)

Masterlist 

Part Five

A/N: Oh look a new chapter! Yay! Hope you all enjoy this, my longest chapter yet! Love you guys and have a great Hump Day! 

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader

Warnings: reliving a bad memory, some fluff (about time!), lots of talk about Star Wars

Word Count: 5,737

Tags: @dont-hate-relate-pls, @nekodresden85, @baritonechick, @i-dont-understand-that-url, @sympathyforluci, @crowley-you-sinnamon-roll, @authoressskr, @your-not-invisible-to-me, @cantchoosejustonefandom, @chelseypaigeake, @crowleysminion, @laffytaffyhumor, @smoothdogsgirl, @destiel-addict-forever, @multifandomlove2002, @agent-superwholockian, @b-northington, @waywardswain, @prettyboy-spn, @oriona75, @thatone67chevyimpala, @kazchester-fanfiction, @atc74, @derivedfromapho, @shititskatelyn, @spnackleholicswainer, @bloodstained-porcelain-doll, @multi-fan-dom-madness@ebeers1673  

Forever tags: @eileenlikesyou-maybe


You tossed and turned all night; your thoughts coming up with new and exaggerated versions of what happened the night before with Jordan. It was crazy really to think that Jordan actually meant to harm you. He was just drunk and hadn’t meant to grab you so tightly. It was a mistake. No reason to fret. He’s not going to bother me anymore. 

Morning had come too quickly. You had caught a few hours of rest but definitely needed more. All you wanted to do was stay in bed and not face the day. Sometime in the middle of the night you decided that you did need to get a new apartment, somewhere Jordan couldn’t plague your mind or come knocking on your door anymore. Your current one had too many memories and you lived there for a few years so it would be nice to have a change in scenery. That was your plan for the day, to find a new place to live. So after you had finally rolled out of bed, you took a quick shower, trying to rid the headache you had and opened your computer to search for your new home. 

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There’s too many men in this world. We need a new plague.
—  Zoë Nightshade, probably at the Hoover Dam