need a bearded man

2

Everyone is entitled to their opinions and everyone is entitled to their beliefs … but if the opinions and feelings are rooted in denying certain people basic human rights, I’ve got a problem with that.

the signs as random snapchats my friends have sent me
  • aries: i'm barely awake and my sister said "clean the damn house" bitch clean ya damn vagina im tired fuck outta my face
  • taurus: *picture of herself with the headband on & a blank face* i realized too late that i was playing headbandz and now i know what i am wow
  • gemini: you ever notice that the inside of your mouth looks like the inside of your vagina wait actually idk what the inside of my vagina looks like
  • cancer: *picture of her teary eyed* i nearly started crying because i realized plankton and karen don't have kids because she's a computer so they can't have sex
  • leo: *picture of her with her hair tied around her chin like a beard* who needs men? i'm my own man
  • virgo: *picture of her looking down at the camera at an awkward angle* me trying to figure out how to record without using my hands
  • libra: *at 2 am* in other countries when they eat hot dogs or something do they call it "american food" like how we call china's food "chinese food" #latenightthoughts
  • scorpio: *picture of herself on the toilet with her legs scribbled out* woah why tf am i constipated (my dick not showin, just my legs)
  • sagittarius: while i was chewing i bit down on something chewy IT WAS A BUG I THINK PLEASE HELP
  • capricorn: *blurry picture of her looking terrified* tell me why i dropped my phone in the fucking brownie mix i hate everything
  • aquarius: *blurry picture of herself* i kicked an ant bed and i think some of the ants went in my pants and are biting me
  • pisces: *picture of her crying* me realizing maddie isn't even real. or maybe liv isn't real. idk they just aren't actually twins. they're the same girl. and she doesn't have some unique connection to her twin sister who'd she do anything for because she doesn't have one.
You Shaved

Pairing: Mick Davies x Reader
Word count: 2,062
Warnings: Minor hunting violence. Low key smut. Nothing super graphic. Unprotected sex. Mentions of male and female oral.
Request:@little-red-83 ) Ok so how about this for a Mick fic (it’s a thing now, calling them Mick fics. Cause I said so lol) anyways: Reader is a close friend of the Winchesters. And Mick makes it known that he is interested but she brushes him off. Sam & Dean know better, they can tell that she likes him & they ask her why she won’t go out with him & she says “Pfft, not with a beard like that. He needs to grow it or shave it off.” Mick overhears & the next day shows up clean shaven. Then she says yes and… smut? 

Keep reading

My mom reacts to the men of MK X

Kuai

Mom: Wow….I don’t know he’s kind of sexy but…weird looking. I love his eyes though!

Hanzo

Mom: Looks like a woman with a beard…dude needs to man up.

Jax

Mom: There’s an actual black man is this? Wow I hope he’s not dead. He’s pretty good lookin, I’m lovin the beard and the metal arms too.

Johnny 

Mom: Eh…he’s hot…but he’s not. If that makes sense.

Kenshi

Mom: Oh look it’s Daredevil!

Ermac

Mom: This man is in dire need of some lotion…and some food.

Kano (Revolution)

Mom: OH MY GOD BIG DADDY’S BACK!

Regular Kano

Mom: Okay…what the hell happened?

Klassic Kano

Mom: EW WTF?! HE LOOKS LIKE A RAT! 

Erron Black

Mom: HA! Maybe it’s Mabelline!

Raiden

Mom: Aww he looks like a sad little schoolgirl. Who punched his nuts?

Kotal Kahn 

Mom: Why is he blue and naked? 

Kotal Kahn (Alternate costume)

Mom: That is NOT the same guy! That man is pasty as hell! 

Quan Chi

Mom: ….Victoria what the hell is that?

Shinnok

Mom: What the fuck is that!? Some of these men look really strange…

Saved by the turd.

Hey friends so this is part of @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash’s writing challenge. It falls into the Negan x physically disabled and mentally disabled reader categories . Also as a side note I’m physically disabled  so it was a cool new challenge for me to write some representation for myself. Thanks for letting me participate! 

Masterlist

Tagging: @negans-network

This fic is mainly the brain child of the light of my life @damnitdaryl she deserves so much lovin ❤

 Wordcount 2.5k

 Warnings: Negan being an asshole. Derogatory launguage around physical disability and kleptomania. Canon typical gore.


“That little turd is in there again? That’s it. She’s fucking done. From tomorrow she’s on the motherfucking wall.”

Strolling through the cell block, Negan’s whistling came to an abrupt end when he saw Simon leaning back in a chair against the stone wall. Unbridled anger flushed through Negan’s body and even though it wasn’t directly aimed at his old friend, he couldn’t fail to notice how he had startled the man. There was only one reason that he would be spending his time playing guard dog and it was grating on Negan’s last nerve.

Keep reading

Soft, Delicate, and Incredibly Deadly

Jon Snow X Reader
A/N:
 Okay, so I had inspiration to do a Jon Snow imagine and I let my creativity wander from me and ended up with this. I think it’ll shape up really nicely as a series, so I’ll most likely be doing a part 2 <3. With Love, Kat

Words: 1302

You were one of the best fighters in Westeros, and surely the best fighter of your age. Your father, a Lord of the North, decided that he was going to let you pursue your dream of being a great sword fighter, instead of forcing you to become a Lady who obeyed her husband quietly. You were Lady Y/N. People knew your name all over Westeros, but not because of your heraldry. No, they knew you so well because not only were you gorgeous, but you were an incredible fighter. You were able to take down men twice your size within a few moves. In your father’s determination to have you live out your dream, he sent you to learn from Jaime Lannister, who was the best sword fighter in Westeros. He broke you down, tore you apart, and then built you back up to be a better, stronger, more focused fighter. You were a proverbial killing machine. You hoped one day to be on the Kingsguard. After all, Brienne of Tarth did it. She was your role model.

After months of training with Jaime and earning the reputation you fought so hardly for in Westeros, you were called on by the Starks of the North to come to Winterfell and help train their boys. So you set off on your long journey from Kings Landing to Winterfell.

When you finally arrived in Winterfell, Lord Eddard Stark was there in person to greet and welcome you.
“Lord Stark” you bowed after stepping off of your horse.
“Lady Y/N” Ned held your hand in his and kissed your knuckles gently, “Thank you for coming to us on such short notice, I know you were training with Jaime Lannister in Kings Landing and I apologize for cutting that short.”
“No need to apologize, Lord Stark. Jaime Lannister has taught me just about all he could in sparring and theory. I’m at a stage of needing more hands on practice now. Training your boys is exactly what I need” you said, smiling up at the tall, bearded man before you.
Ned extended his arm out to direct you towards the doors of the castle and as you walked together, he spoke again “I have to tell you Lady Y/N, you definitely live up to your reputation. In a good way, of course. Seeing a Lady step off of her horse in trousers and armor with a sword at her waist is not something I get the pleasure of seeing every day.” Ned let out a small chuckle as he saw the smile on your face.
“Well Lord Stark, you wouldn’t imagine just how difficult it is to kill a man while wearing a dress” you laughed as he held the door for you to walk inside.

As you were walking through the halls of the castle, you further introduced yourself to Ned. He then explained to you that his boys were in the hall waiting to meet you. As Ned opened the large wooden doors into the hall, you were met with two boys that you figured were blessed with some of the best features you’d ever set your eyes on. Ned introduced you three, on the left, the one called Jon Snow, he wasn’t as tall as the other boy, but he was beautiful. He had dark, thick, curly hair and dark brooding eyes, with full lips and eyelashes that went on for miles. On the right, the boy was called Robb Stark, clearly taking after his mother, Catelyn Tully. He had dark brownish-red hair and eyes so blue you thought you could drown in them. You were snapped out of your thorough examination of the two boys in front of you by Ned speaking.
“Well, Lady Y/N. I think it’s time you teach these two boys how to fight like men. Especially since I’ve seen you take down men twice their size and five times their experience level” Ned clapped you on the back, chuckling.
“Okay boys, I’ll meet you in the sparring area of the courtyard” you said, standing, surveying their faces for any hints of doubt. They didn’t have any. Smart boys. As you left the room, you could hear their faint chatter, no doubt it was about you.

—Jon’s POV—

She was gorgeous. The most beautiful woman I had ever seen. And here she was, standing in front of me in trousers and armor with her braids holding her hair away from her face. She stood, telling me and Robb to meet her in the courtyard so she can start training us immediately. Damn, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited. The doors shut behind her as she left and I immediately turned to Robb, our father across the table from us. Robb and I had the same look in our eyes, a look that could only be described as puppy love.

“By the gods, what have I started here? You two both look like you’ve fallen head over heels for the girl already” my father said, shaking his head and looking down at the both of us.

“She’s beautiful” I spoke up, mouth still hung open from the mere sight of her.
“By the old gods and the new, she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” Robb said, his eyes sparkling. His damn eyes were sparkling. I felt a sudden surge of jealousy fly through me, causing me to clench my fists on the table. I stood abruptly and decided to beat Robb out to the sparring area. In the hopes of getting some time with Y/N alone.

I stepped out into the courtyard and there she was. She was mesmerizing. I watched for a moment as she moved with her sword, flowing like liquid, she was one of the most graceful beings I had ever set my eyes on. As she took her final lunge forward, a piece of hair fell from her braid and into her face. I wanted more than anything to walk up to her, tuck that piece of hair behind her ear and pull her face to mine to kiss her. She was soft, delicate, and incredibly deadly all at the same time and I didn’t know whether to fall in love, crouch in fear, or be extremely turned on. I’d say it was a fair mix of all three.

—Y/N’s POV—

I was already practicing in the courtyard, warming up when I saw Jon standing just outside the doorway.
“Snow!” I called out and it seemed as if I snapped him out of a very involved day dream.
“Yes, Y/N. I’m ready” he said, grabbing his sword from the rack.
“Umm Snow, I don’t mean to criticize you already but I believe you’d do much better in a fight if you were wearing armor” I said, pointing my sword at his unprotected chest.
He laughed, nervously, and went over to get armor. As he was pulling the chest piece over his head, he said “Oh and Y/N, you can call me Jon. We don’t have to act professional with last names.”
I had wondered where that burst of confidence came from, but brushed it off. I walked over to him to tie the strings attaching the front and back plates of the sparring chest piece. He flinched at my initial movements.
“Sorry Jon, didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just easier if someone else ties these for you, it’s hard to get a good solid knot when you do it yourself” I said, tying the strings on his right side. After tying the other strings, I gave him a swift slap to the chest and stepped back.

“You ready, Jon?” I asked, twirling my sword in my hand.
He took a deep breath and replied, “As ready as I’ll ever be.“