need

i crave love so fucking much. all the innocent parts of it. all the butterflies. all the sparks. i want to pour myself into someone but i fear i’ll never have the chance to do so because all i do is run from the good ones. i mark myself as undeserving and i stick to the bad ones. the ones that haunt my nightmares. but i crave opposite. i want the sunshine. i want the warmth. i want. i want. i want so much. but i never let myself have it.