near & far

I do feel bad for plants in general.
Like, I know they are often as vicious as animals in many ways, just slower.
But, I mean, they just show up and they’re like, “I Think I Will Evolve To Eat The Sun And Also Make Oxygen And How Now Is All This.”
And, like, everything fucking dies at first (totally not plants fault, btw. okay maybe it was but they didn’t mean to) but then new things evolve.
And they’re like, “Fuck it, eating each other suuuucks. Let’s eat the plants which give us life.”
And so we start doing that.
And plants are all, “Oh Dear No, I Do Not Care At All For Being Eaten. I Will Make Myself Into Poison Sometimes.”
But, y'know, stuff kept eating plants anyway so plants, ever the bro, came up with a new idea. “I Have Made A Decision About Being Eaten And You May Eat Me Friends And Here Is An Especially Tasty Bit Packed All Full of Delicious Sugars Which I Have Produced At Great Cost (What They Do Not Know Is That My Seeds Are Within And Shall Be Propagated Near And Far By Their Dung)“
But that’s not good enough for animals, no, not at all.
We love the fuck out of some pomegranates but also alliums which are like, "I Have Not Decided To Go In For This Being Eaten Business. I Shall Be Very Foul Tasting And Also A Poison.”
But no, sorry, onions, you fucked up.
You accidentally wound up with a species that just doesn’t give up or fully comprehend the idea of things tasting “”‘bad’“’ or other concepts like not eating poison. (Sorry, plants, later we turn some of you who are not poison into a poison we consume recreationally. We really enjoy eating poison.) 
Legit, alliums are deadly to, like, every other species.
And we call them aromatics and throw them in everything.
Peppers are the best, though.
They completely got on the being eaten train.
BUT ONLY BIRDS
Peppers are like, "You May Eat Me, Fair Avian, For You Are Sure To Spread Me A Great Distance. But, Mammal, Take HEED. Should You Eat Me Then I Will Burn You Most Terribly.”
And we were all about that.
“The FUCK, burning? I love pain,” said humans, presumably.
“You know, peppers, you and evolution have done a good job at burning us but I am pretty sure we could make your chemical agony even more potent. Come hang with us,” humans added to a very confused pepper just before creating the ghost chili.

just had the best idea just gotta climb these here logs with these fine dogs

wait

what the hell

oh my god no you’ll kill me

jesusdogonastick alright we made it ok guys lets -

wait where are you going?

get back up i need you both!

ok guys are we ready?

YOU’RE HERE, THERE’S NOTHING I FEAAAAR

AND I KNOW MY HEART WILL GO ON

WE’LL STAY FOREVER THIS WAY

AND MY HEART WILL GO ON

AND ON

The Signs as Panic! At the Disco Songs

Aries:  I lost a bet to a guy in a Chiffon skirt, but I make these high heels work. // “Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time”

Taurus:  Whether near or far, I am always yours. // “The End of All Things”

Gemini: Everything I do is bittersweet. You could tell me secrets that I’ll probably repeat. // “Bittersweet”

Cancer: Blink back to let me know. // “Always” 

Leo: Oh, we’re still so young, desperate for attention. I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives. // The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage”

Virgo:  They were young and independent, and they thought they had it planned. // “Memories”

Libra:  She said, “at night in my dreams, you dance on a tightrope of weird” // “Crazy=Genius”

Scorpio: I’ve got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck. // Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off”

Sagittarius: Static palms melt your vibes. // “LA Devotee”

Capricorn: I don’t love you I’m just passing the time. // “She Had the World”

Aquarius: So give it to me now. We’re lost in a dream now. // “Vegas Lights”

Pisces: Your eyes are the size of the moon. // “Nine in the Afternoon”

so many conspiracy theories are just white men trying to come up with someone else to blame for other white men fucking up or doing evil things

no, leeroy, the holocaust isn’t a hoax. people decided to murder the marginalized after hundreds of years of institutional and cultural prejudice and fifty years of eugenics saying that murder was the good and ethical thing to do. funny how that works.

sorry, tucker, bush didn’t do 9/11. sometimes people ignore what, to them, at the time, is unimportant information, that later turns out to be have been vitally important, and when those people are in power, that kind of fuckup can get people killed. I know, it’s scary to think that people can be hurt out of ignorance rather than as a grand evil plot, but them’s the facts.

I know it might seem absurd to you, bryan, that people who want to commit mass murder choose to use guns (which are readily available and require little specialized knowledge or skill to use) for that purpose, but that doesn’t mean that a school shooting is an anti-gun false flag operation; it means someone decided to kill a bunch of children and chose the easiest way to do it.

what’s funny is that actual conspiracies (like MKLULTRA or COINTELPRO) tend to be aimed at people who are already marginalized (MKULTRA tended to use the mentally ill and imprisoned for its experiments, for example), and the reasons and methods are pretty mundane. there’s no overarching plot or secret technology or hidden knowledge.

conspiracy theorists want to be the heroes of some kind of cool adventure story and cast minorities (jews or women or whoever) as the bad guys. that’s not some big secret, bub, that’s just dressing up old prejudices in a tinfoil hat and calling it special.

On this night, several glows were evident – some near, but some far. The foreground glimmers blue with the light of bioluminescent plankton. Next out, Earth’s atmosphere dims the horizon and provides a few opaque clouds. Farther out, the planet Venus glows bright near the image center. Farthest away, rising diagonally, is the central band of our Milky Way Galaxy. Most of the billions of Milky Way stars and dark clouds are thousands of light years away. 

The image was taken last November on the Iranian coast of Gulf of Oman.

Image Credit & Copyright: Taha Ghouchkanlu

a message from women:
do you know what it’s like to be left alone in love?
do you know what it’s like to feel stuck in love?
do you know what it’s like to be too depressed?
do you know what it’s like to have to beg for
forever from a person who neglects your history?
do you what it’s like to lose everything?
do you know what it’s like to feel abandoned?
do you know what it’s like to wait?
do you know that i will never be too near or too far away?
honestly, i’m still waiting for closure.
i still question what this is— or what this was?
because i can’t help but hope
our feelings were mutual.
do you know how it feels to constantly chase
a feeling you’re addicted to?
do you know i’ve got the jones for you.
and an appetite. and a sweet tooth.
do you know i prayed for you?
from night ’til day.
regardless of my better judgement or dismay
time after time after promises
that never seemed impossible or too good to be TRUE.
do you know what it’s like to try
convincing yourself that— this was the truth.
like i was the woman created for you.
do you know how much i’ve craved you?
i’ve searched for you everywhere
in people, in prayer, in psalm.
in different lovers, in god.
and god— i, wish you really knew.
that i’d love you till death,
or that i’d kill for you.
or that i feel you, like soul deep, like
deeper than anyone ever will.
do you know what it’s like to feel dead inside
and see you so alive, still?

but these days i feel alive.
i’ve been able to realize
you just weren’t meant for me.
these days i don’t cry over
spilled milk.
or lost love
or things i have no control of.
these days i just love myself more.
i just know there’s a happily ever after.
these days i just — don’t see it with you.
nothing personal i think i just fell too quick for your potential.
i just wanted you to be the one.
i just thought we made sense
but now i love myself enough to know better..

—  Reyna Biddy
4

I’m very convinced that my apartment complex is a liminal space or some sort of place you’d hear about in welcome to nightvale

I’ve lived here twice now, the first time I couldn’t wait to get out, but the longer I was away the more I missed it, now here I am and I can’t imagine that anywhere else outside of this place exists or why I would ever want to leave

when I walk at night, sometimes to pick up the mail, it’s completely silent except for the pool filter running that I can somehow hear no matter how far I am away from it

the coke machine by the pool always says it’s out of stock but if you feed it coins, not what’s stickered on the options, just feed it coins until it’s satisfied you’ll get a NuGrape and never any other flavor of soda even though NuGrape isn’t a flavor option

the snack machine is always empty and there’s a colony of moths that live in it

at night there’s always a lit cigarette in the ash tray on one of the patio tables by the pool, the pool is still and the surface of the water is like glass and even though it’s clean and perfect you can’t see the bottom 

the dog park is sort of there, on a good day you’re welcome, on other days you can sort of see it out of the corner of your eye but when you look straight at it, it’s not there. when you look away you see the shine of a chain link fence and a small white dog with his owner, but only for a brief moment

staying in the dog park for an extended period of time, if you manage to get into it, makes you feel sort of like you took a lot of xanax, suddenly everything is warm and fuzzy and you’re so calm and oh wow the wooden bench feels so good and comfortable and the sun is pleasant on your skin even in the 96 degree Mississippi summer, then you wake up and it’s almost dark and your skin is buzzing and you’ve slept through the day so you go back inside and drink a cold glass of sweet tea and try not to think about it

the mailboxes are in front of the main office, the little rectangular area is covered in faded astro turf and reaching into your tiny mailbox feels sort of like reaching into a void, you’re never really sure what you’re going to pull out but there’s a trash can especially for junk mail next to it that’s always full and sometimes you can get coupons out of it but they’re always just a day away from expiring

the apartment next to my first is never inhabited longer than the minimum 6 month lease, I called the police on the old man there because one day I didn’t hear his TV and his little dog never stopped barking and there was this smell seeping through our walls and he had passed away in his recliner but no one can stand to live there and the apartment is always being moved in and out of

the baseball field across the road, just in front of my balcony, sometimes around midnight when I’m sitting outside restless drinking a sweet wine and pruning my pepper plants, the field lights kick on and they’re brighter than the sun and they startle me but there’s no one on the field, it’s a school night, nobody could possibly be at the school and after only a few minutes they cut off and the world is much darker and I have to go inside because I can’t see without the porch light on

there was a murder just a couple weeks ago, near the front of the complexes but somehow no one heard the shotgun go off and the police never explained the situation, the apartment was almost immediately back up for rent and no one but the old lady in the townhouse behind my apartment ever spoke about it

the old lady who knew about the murder is my friend, sometimes we sit outside and talk and listen to the cicadas while she smokes and walks her dogs, all her dogs are blind and old but somehow they know me and even from my balcony they smell me and bark until I come down to pet them, why she’s out at 1am I’m not sure but I only ever see her raking up pine straw and walking her dogs and she’s always making sure I’m safe in storms, I don’t even know her name

the soft sea-green colored laundromat has no clocks and only one barred window, the magazines are years old and there’s a copy of a book about WWII that seems to have appeared out of nowhere over the past couple of weeks. there’s no concept of time, the color of the walls reminds you of the beach and it feels like 1992 and even though there’s nobody ever in the laundromat there’s always wet clothes in the washers and only 2 open on the far side near a broken water cooler and a ponytail palm tree that hasn’t moved or been watered in years, the only dryer that really dries your clothes is old and marked 1984 and smells like propane. if you encounter anyone in the laundromat you may pass completely through them; they can’t see you, you try to greet them but when you expect to bump into them in the close quarters you feel as if you’ve passed through a wall of static and your body buzzes and they go about their business as if they’re alone as well

the maintenance man is ancient an has a tiny dog named Trixie and his name is Ham, he wanders around aimlessly and supposedly goes around and changes the air conditioner filters and smoke alarm batteries but I’ve lived here a total of three years and haven’t had a job so I’m here 24/7 and I’ve never had him ring my doorbell a single time. the filters are always clean though, and the smoke alarm light is blinking green again instead of red, I only ever see him on the patio of the office, looking out over the pool and sipping a NuGrape and feeding his tiny dog pieces of bologna

there’s a man who wanders the grounds at night with a hand-crank radio but there’s nothing on the radio but static and sometimes someone repeating numbers with a strange accent that you can’t make out

stairwells always feel like you’re walking through another dimension and at night it seems like they’re endless, it feels like you’re walking and walking and walking even though I’ve counted and there’s 14 steps it feels like you’re walking up 1000 steps and when you get to the top and look down it feels like you’re on the top floor of a high rise even though there’s no building here with more than two floors

the pine trees creak and groan at night trying to speak to you as you walk by but you can never make it out, I make a note of listening to them but sometimes I feel like it’s something important that I’m missing so I go inside and sip a Riesling until I forget about it