navy fiance

There are nights where I lay in bed, staring at my ceiling, wondering why I do it. Why wait for someone who can’t be here with me when I need him? Why wait for someone to come back to me when he’s the one thats constantly leaving? Why wait for a brief moment with him after so many months apart? Why wait for something that might never happen? Why wait for him at all?

I’ll admit, there have been times where I’ve totally lost it. There have been times where I’ve thrown things across the room and dented my walls. There have been times where I’ve screamed into pillows so no one could hear me. And times where I’ve gone and sobbed in the shower until I couldn’t breathe. If you’ve done it, then I’ve done it too. If you’ve thought it, then I’ve thought it too. If you’ve felt it, then I’ve felt it too. Every single day I think, “What kind of relationship is this? Who has a relationship with someone they never get to spend time with? Who deals with this crap? I can’t plan a single damn thing without having to consult the the military first.”

I mean, it’s insane. right? My whole life revolves around skype, phone calls, and the promise of a future together. I don’t fall alseep next to him, I fall asleep with him on Skype. I don’t get to touch him, or hug him, or kiss him, nearly as much as I’d like to… Or nearly as much as I’m entitled to. I find that I secretly resent girls who get to see their boyfriends or fiancés or husbands all the time - the line “I miss him” doesn’t mean anything to me when they say it. I feel like they never understand what missing someone is until their someone has been taken from them. So, when our someone has been taken away by the military, it’s like we voluntarily rescind any rights to a life of normalcy for a love that is committed, first to country, and second, to us.

So, why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it not enough that our men are taken from us, shipped off to god-knows-where, and then returned to us only after their (and our) duty is done? Who, in their right mind, would want to deal with that?

Well, I’ll tell you who wants to deal with it:

I do. Your next door neighbor does. The cashier behind the counter does. The science teacher does. The stay-at-home mom does. The average college student does.

Any woman who loves him, wants to deal with it.

We do it because we love them. We do it because we are the strongest women on earth. We do it because one, single, solitary moment with them is worth a lifetime away from them. It doesn’t mean we have to do this with a smile plastered on our face, and (Lord knows) we certainly don’t most of the time. We do it because, for his love, we’d do anything.

Honestly, most of the time, I hate it. It takes a pretty strong person to ignore the sting of tears, threatening to spill onto the canvas we call our face… The smallest thing can bring tears to my eyes: a song, a smell, a word, a place. anything and everything can make me tear up. Pretending to be happy is like an Olympic sport for those of us who are in love with someone who serves; their duty is to their country, while our duty is to love them. Despite all the pain we endure, it is truly an honor to love a man like that.

I fall among the silent ranks of those who love someone in the military. I live, love, and suffer in silence, with thousands of others who are waiting just as patiently as I am. We cling to moments, few and far between, because they are the promise of something more. We yearn for the phone calls, the text messages, the emails, because they remind us who were waiting for. We don’t measure time in days, or weeks, or months… We measure time from when he left, to when he’s going to return. We’ve learned that long stretches of time without them is worth the minuscule amount of time we get to spend with them; “time is of the essence”, is our motto for life.

So, when you ask why we do it, remember, we also ask ourselves why we do it. We ask ourselves every single day why we deal with this loneliness, this pain, this stupid thing we call love… And every time we remind ourselves: because one day he’ll come home to me.

After all, if it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth it.

I just wanted to say thank you to my loving fiancé and all of the other service men and woman, past and present, for putting their lives before ours. 
Thank you for stepping in front of bullets and explosives for people you don’t even know, leaving your families for weeks, months, years, at a time, or even leaving them forever. Missing the birth of children, missing holidays, family gatherings, birthdays, recitals, missing all of these events just to protect the people you care and love for so much, and the millions of people you don’t even know, and never will know. I cannot express how much I appreciate all that you do, all that you sacrifice, for people you will never even meet. Sadly, my fiancé can’t be here to hear me say to him how thankful I am, but he knows how much I appreciate him and how strong I am, and soon he will be home to hear it.
Veterans day is about so much more than just a free meal, it’s about remembering all of the people who vow to protect your life before they can even protect their own.
If you see a serviceman or former serviceman today, or any other day, please just stop and take a few seconds to thank them. It will not only make their day, but it will make yours too.

Loving a military man
1. You wear old sweatpants and sweatshirts to bed. 2. You can watch whatever you want on TV without arguing with him first 3. You get up in the middle of the night to check your e-mail. 4. You sleep with your cell phone incase he calls in the middle of the night. 5. You love watching cute love movies because it reminds you of all the cute things he does when he’s home. 6. You haven’t shaved your legs in weeks. 7. The mailman knows you because you are always out waiting for him to come. 8. You start paying close attention in class when the words “military” or “iraq” are mentioned. 9. You suddenly have an obsession with anything military related. 10. You see someone wearing an army, navy, or usmc shirt and you get this overwhelming urge to talk to them. 11. You make friends with strangers online just because they are in the same situation as you and are the only ones that can truly understand what you are going through. 12. You can’t decide what to wear when you meet him at the airport because his flight comes in at a ridiculous hour in the morning and you want to look cute, but not too cute, because your cutest outfit you want to save for your first full day together. 13. Your first Christmas together is… apart. 14. You find yourself checking your e-mail every fifteen minutes. 15. You know all the time differences between where you are and Iraq, Ireland, Kuwait, Italy, Germany, Korea, and every state in the U.S. 16. The highlight of your day is getting a letter that was mailed a month ago. 17. And if you don’t get a letter, the highlight of your day is writing him a letter that you know he will be able to read in a month. 18. You realize that HOMECOMING is so much more than a football game. 19. You want to hit any happy couple you see together 20. You get excited about “unknown” phone numbers calling you. 21. You’ve exhausted every idea a brain could have of what to put in a box. 22. You see a “support our troops” sticker on a car when you are stuck in traffic and you find yourself guessing about who they know that is deployed and thinking about their entire life story. 23. When the clock says 11:11, you find yourself wishing for the same thing every time: a call from your soldier. 24. You get excited when its only 5 months until you see your Soldier instead of 7! 25. You can’t stand girls that talk about missing their boyfriends who live a few hours away. You just want to yell “drive and go see them them” because if you had the chance, you would jump on the first plane to go see your soldier no matter how far it is. 26. You don’t know what teams are on top for football, basketball, etc. 27. You wouldn’t dream of walking out of the house without the cell phone and every number you have is forwarded to that cell. 28. You find yourself randomly crying from just looking at a picture of the two of you together. 29. You find yourself randomly crying and you sometimes have no idea why. 30. You stay on the internet for hours searching for anything and everything about the military. 31. You talk to your friends about him so much that they know his full name, birthday and even his favorite color. 32. You find yourself speaking in acronyms (that no one other than you and he would understand). 32. You are reading this and smiling and nodding because you know it’s so true 

The day he proposed! ❤

I went to go pick him up from the airport with his family on the night of the fifteenth. The moment he saw me in the crowded terminal, he just looks at me with those perfect blue eyes, and says, “Karla, I have a question for you….” and gets down on one knee! It was so perfect, we had half the airport applauding and congratulating us! 

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Navy Sailor proposes to girlfriend at her college graduation