navy couples

I miss you more on rainy days. Drops echoing inside my empty soul. I never realize exactly how lonely I am until the rain begins to fall. Cloudy, dark skies reminding me exactly how my life is without you. I wish you were here- to fall asleep to the sound of pouring rain together.
it gets harder, not easier. each goodbye is one more stab at the heart and I have to constantly repeat to myself “this is only temporary.” how many more goodbyes do we have to say before we can live at peace? how many more lonely nights do we have to sleep through to finally be able to fall asleep wrapped in each others arms? it’s difficult living in this constant fear that one day you will forget me, one day you might not return, and finally when you do return there can be a call any minute thay can once again separate us. but we are worth it. we are worth the wait. we are worth the daily struggle because our love is strong enough to conquer this. this is not permanent and eventually we will get our happy ending. the distance will not destroy us.
But it’s all I have. This hope. Hope that you will come back, hope that you won’t forget me, hope that when I look at my phone I’ll see a text from you or receive a call. I have to have hope. I’ll go crazy if I don’t. How I hope that when I wake up in the morning you’ll be there to surprise me. I hope that while I’m working, you will show up with flowers in your hand. Hope Hope Hope. It’s all I have. I hope you are safe. I hope you are well, and I hope that wherever you are, the night is being kind to you.
“You’re so lucky” I hear it all the time. But what am I lucky exactly about? Lucky to be crying myself to sleep at night? Lucky to be full of anxiety all the time? Lucky to hurt? there is nothing lucky about being in a long distance relationship, specially one where your loved one is deployed. Worrying becomes a daily thing, there are times where weeks go by before they even get a chance to call you, and sometimes life happens and for whatever unfortunate reason you miss their call and that feeling of dread kicks in. It’s constantly looking at your phone checking for their emails, for anything that they could send you…I guess in a sense I am lucky. Lucky to have met him, lucky to be loved by him, lucky to have someone to miss, someone to love..But I am unlucky because I don’t get to hold him when I want, I don’t get to call him when something good happens, when something bad happens, I don’t get to kiss him goodnight or watch the sunrise with him. Waiting is a big part of my life. Patience is another.
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To Her… HAPPY 21st BABY!