nature of the self

How to Care Less about What Other People Think

1. Know what matters to you, personally – what you stand for, and what your values are .

2. Don’t be anxious about breaking social norms. The more often you do this, the less it bothers you.

3. Decide not to live as a people pleaser, or to get upset and take rejection personally.

4. Hang out with people who are self confident, who know what they believe in, and what they want from life. You’ll find that their self-confidence will rub off on you, too.

5. Try and work on becoming more competent in the skills and areas that matter to you. That will naturally enhance your self confidence, and develop a self image that is strong and positive.

6. Travel, and spend time with different kinds of people. That will show you how diverse attitudes and outlooks are. That is, there’s no one way of being – so find, and be, yourself.

It’s all Greek to Me

A Meta/Speculation on the Framework, AIDA, and the Fitzsimmons journey of the 3rd Pod

Hello friends!

I just finished my rewatch of 4.15, and I have a few things to talk about. Let’s jump right in, shall we?

The Ouroboros

AIDA, the flawed architect

During my rewatch, I caught sight of the innocuous little necklace AIDA wore on a close-up.

You can clearly see that it’s a snake eating it’s own tail, the symbol of the Ouroboros.

The Ouroboros is an occult symbol steeped in lore and history, but some of it’s chief meanings and associations are:

  • The cycle of life, death, and despair
  • Alchemy
  • Rebirth
  • Formless disorder and chaos needed for renewal of an ordered world
  • Jungian integration and assimilation of the Shadow-self (the darker nature, the Id, the subconscious, the unrecognized aspects of being)

Consider all of this, in the hands of AIDA, our perfect android, or immanently flawed, almost-human, and then, look at this Greek creation tale, from Plato:

The living being had no need of eyes because there was nothing outside of him to be seen; nor of ears because there was nothing to be heard; and there was no surrounding atmosphere to be breathed; nor would there have been any use of organs by the help of which he might receive his food or get rid of what he had already digested, since there was nothing which went from him or came into him: for there was nothing beside him. 

Of design he created thus; his own waste providing his own food, and all that he did or suffered taking place in and by himself. For the Creator conceived that a being which was self-sufficient would be far more excellent than one which lacked anything; and, as he had no need to take anything or defend himself against any one, the Creator did not think it necessary to bestow upon him hands: nor had he any need of feet, nor of the whole apparatus of walking; but the movement suited to his spherical form which was designed by him, being of all the seven that which is most appropriate to mind and intelligence; and he was made to move in the same manner and on the same spot, within his own limits revolving in a circle. 

All the other six motions were taken away from him, and he was made not to partake of their deviations. And as this circular movement required no feet, the universe was created without legs and without feet.


AIDA is our ‘Creator’, here - our flawed architect, who, very much like the Ouroboros’ creator in Greek myth, considers the creation of a self-sustaining existence, with nothing lacking, no need for reliance on anyone or anything, no movement, simply a stasis, to be the ideal existence. To a robot who can feel no pain, nor no emotion, to whom sustainability of the self is the only goal, this is perfection, achieved.

Now, let’s take a moment to imagine that first creation, that first snake, filled with the emotions and thoughts of any living creature, alone in the universe, trapped in place, with no ability to reach out or scream or cry for help. It’s only action, it’s only ability, to be it’s own self-destruction. 

Imagine the Ouroboros, aware that it is the agent of its own end, constantly in fear, constantly in pain of one sort or another, constantly aware that it will always have to kill itself. That one way or another, it will die, and it’s choice will be the cause, and that either choice, to eat oneself or to starve to death, will always cause pain.

I can tell you one thing - that Ouroboros is definitely NOT in agreement with it’s creator about the ideal nature of its existence.

From this, let’s extrapolate to our pals in the framework.

 Like rats in a cage, they’re probably running the same loops and routines, probably without contact from anyone in their previous/real Shield lives, because to exist as an ouroboros means that you must be totally self-contained. 

This also makes sense when you consider that memory can be triggered by anything. So putting them in a room with people they know in their real lives, the interactions with which have been heavily suppressed, and you’ve got a recipe for synaptical misfiring and software errors. It’s like two versions of an OS running on the same computer. if they hit the same pathways, something’s going to glitch, it’s just a matter of time.

This also tells me that while AIDA, our flawed architect, may percieve her design to be ‘without pain’, in truth, she has removed their joy and condemned them to an existence, as they say in True Detective, of living time as a flat circle. Nothing changing, nothing living.

It also suggests to me that continuing in this existence is going to result in self-destruction, or self-destructive behaviours, which may help to suppress the hidden memories of their real lives.

 Or, in another interesting read, it could suggest an immanent rebellion within the framework, if we consider the Framework to be the Ouroboros, and the agents to simply be ‘part’ of it, like appendages. If the Framework is the Ouroboros, then it, itself, will seek it’s own end. It won’t be able to help it, because that’s just the nature of it’s imperfect design.

The cycle of death and return

Hydra is dead. Grant Ward is dead. Radcliffe is dead. But in the framework, they return, and so do these callbacks to seasons past.

Some people claim this is going to be a ‘greatest hits reel’ before the show goes off the air (as always, we’re on the ratings bubble - They desperately need to fix their ratings system for TV guys. It just does not work! this show deserves so many seasons!!) and I’m not saying that it’s not, but what I’m suggesting is that, moreso, this was an inevitable path for the story to take, because of the nature of the Framework’s story, which is represented by the Ouroboros. 

That’s why we return to Hydra, to Ward, to Inhuman fears, to all the old haunts of our show’s universe.

That which is dead will live again, and that which lives, will die. That’s why Daisy’s old life (her dead life with Ward) was resurrected. That’s why Jemma’s current life with Fitz was killed (Jemma in a grave and Fitz with someone else). 

Which brings us to the next Greek myth tie in…

Orpheus and Eurydice

Fitzsimmons, an Underworld Love Story

Make no mistake, in symbolic terms, the framing of this episode shows Jemma (specifically) entering into the underworld to retrieve her trapped lover. By connecting Jemma’s entry into the Framework with her grave, she is metaphorically entering Hades’ Realm, becoming the gender-bent Orpheus to Fitz’s Eurydice. 

This isn’t a new trope in fiction. It’s one of the oldest, and part of what’s known as the Hero’s Journey, or the Monomyth - which is basically perceived to be the original or essential hero-tale structure. Interestingly enough, we witnessed it last season as well, but with Fitz playing the role of the hero, journeying into the realm of death (the planet Maveth), to rescue Jemma.

However, I parallel this upcoming journey specifically to Orpheus and Eurydice for a couple of reasons (where I would not have classed Fitz’s journey with it in particular).

  • This is an ordered realm in-universe

    Meaning that, like Hades in Greek mythology, the Framework has been designed. It has order, purpose, to each part. Maveth was an organic world created through the mechanics of physics and astronomy. It’s order was purely natural, not imposed by any larger, sentient creator, simply the cruelty of an unfeeling universe.

  • We already have a Hades and Persephone - Radcliffe and Agnes

    Both Radcliffe and Agnes now exist solely (well, sort-of, for Agnes/AIDA) in the Framework, the underworld. Radcliffe is it’s ultimate progenitor, and because of that, I assume AIDA would give him a certain amount of power and control over his narrative within the Framework, making him like a God within the world.

    Agnes, like Persephone, her mythological counterpart, exists half in the Framework, and half outside of it, in the real world. Her physical embodiment, AIDA, is outside. Agnes’ other half, her mental self, exists wholly in the Framework.

  • Like Orpheus, Jemma must enter into the underworld from an impossible ‘back door’

    Orpheus is granted entry into the underworld by the gods, but can only enter through a realm even the gods fear to tread, the Stygian Marshes, which he must cross without the help of the boatman, Charon. Here are some choice quotes about the Stygian Marshes:

    Homer, Iliad 3. 368 ff (trans. Lattimore) (Greek epic C8th B.C.) : “[Athena addresses Zeus :] ‘Never would he [Herakles] have got clear of the steep-dripping Stygian waters [on his journey to the Underworld].’”

    Virgil, Aeneid 6. 323 ff (trans. Day-Lewis) (Roman epic C1st B.C.) :
    “[The Sibyl addresses Aeneas on their journey through the Underworld :] ‘What you see is the mere of Cocytus, the Stygian marsh by whose mystery even the gods, having sworn, are afraid to be forsworn. All this crowd you see are the helpless ones, the unburied: that ferryman is Charon: the ones he converys have had burial. None may be taken across from bank to awesome bank of that harsh-voiced river until his bones are laid to rest.’”

    Statius, Achilleid 1. 478 ff :
    “Whom else [but Akhilleus (Achilles)] did a Nereis [Thetis] take be stealth through the Stygian waters and make his fair limbs impenetrable to steel?”

    I don’t know about you, but my dudes, that sounds INTENSE. Achilles’ impenetrability was granted by being dipped in its waters, Hercules himself could not have surmounted their challenge. In similar fashion, I wonder if Jemma’s in-Framework ‘death’ makes her, in effect, immortal within the Framework, like Achilles being dipped in the Stygian waters?

    Either way, it’s only through the faith of Orpheus’s love for someone else (there’s that bit about human connection, again, instead of the lonely ouroboros of self-sufficiency) that he is able to surmount the challenge that would have felled the greatest hero of Greek myth. This guy, this musician, who didn’t have any special powers except his ability to wail on his axe (okay fine, it was a lyre or some other ancient Greek instrument, whatever) and his utter, absolute love for Eurydice. 

    Jemma is just a human woman. There is nothing special about her, except the powers of her mind, and her utter, absolute love for Fitz, which has borne her across the universe, back to him, and now, that selfsame love will bear her back to him, through death. Because, nothing can keep their two souls halved. They will always be reunited.

In the myth, Orpheus enters the underworld and seeks audience with Hades and Persephone, appealing to their emotions and explaining the depth of his love for Eurydice. He played his lyre for Hades, who was so moved, he agreed to allow Eurydice to leave with him.

I think, here, Jemma will play her ‘lyre’ - she will draw upon her own gift, her genius in biology/chemistry/science to release the agents from their framework. Possibly, this might involve appealing to Radcliffe and Agnes to release Fitz in particular, and require Jemma to wax poetic about the nature of their embodied love, in scientific terms (much like the law of thermodynamics from season 1). 

But it’s not all sunshine and roses, guys.

In the Myth, Orpheus must lead Eurydice out of Hades without looking back until they have reached the light. If he looks back, trying to find her, he will lose her forever. Orpheus is but a few steps from the light when doubt siezes hold, and without meaning to, he looks back, sees Eurydice as a Shade, who dissolves under his gaze, and traps her forever in the Underworld.

It was Orpheus’ faith and conviction that carried him through realms that Gods feared to tread and that Heroes would crumble within. It was his love that bore him through it, his faith in that love, his conviction in his ability to portray it in such a heart-swaying way that Hades would grant one single soul reprieve. But then, after such a harrowing journey for a single, noodle-armed lyre-playing wine-swilling musician, unused to such rigours of the soul, his doubt begins to unravel everything.

Jemma’s characterization, throughout the entire run of the show, is Atheistic. She believes in the laws of thermodynamics, not in an afterlife, but in a very scientific version of reincarnation. She doesn’t believe the universe ‘wants’ anything. And now, Jemma, our Atheist, must trust in something entirely outside her comfort-zone. she must trust in her Faith. her faith in Fitz, in their love, in the unbreakable, inalienable nature that binds them, that has tangled their souls up.

The thread that began to unravel the moment she was forced to doubt that his LMD double was truly the Fitz that loved her. She was forced to kill the thing that wore his face and spoke with his words. She was forced to sever a connection, no matter how tenuous, with a person she loved, who is now lost in this underworld existence. 

I believe, without question, that Jemma’s biggest obstacle throughout this whole endeavour is going to be her self-doubt. That if she can kill a thing that looks like Fitz, sounds like Fitz, acts like Fitz, and has Fitz’s memories, is she, a ‘murderer’, and worse still a murderer of the person she loves more than anything, deserving of his love? 

I believe Jemma will struggle deeply with these feelings of villainy and murder and that will eat away at her core of self-trust and self-esteem, even worse than last season, with Maveth and the inhumans. 

To end on a happy note though:

The Greeks freaking loved a sad ending, they ate tragedy up with a spoon. Jed and Mo are not ancient Greeks, and they love a sappy, happy ending love-story just as much as we do. 

It will be Framework Fitz that gives Jemma back that part of herself she killed to survive, that belief that she’s worthy of his love. He will start to come back to himself, little by little, and in that same way, come back to her.

I also believe, that, in the end, when they leave the Framework, Fitz is going to see the bruises on Jemma’s neck and go FULL OUT TERMINATOR ON FITZBOT’S ASS.

It’ll be like May vs May but with less nightgowns and more sparks!

anonymous asked:

5 & 48

HIIII I just spent like 20 minutes on your ask but OKAY

5: Book/series I reread?

The Hunger Games, Harry Potter and Princess Diaries. It’s been a while but I love them so much!

48: Top 5 blogs on Tumblr I follow

You’re catching me on the hop but I thought this up and I decided not to include my Swifties friends cause to me each and everyone of you is creative and funny and potentially my favorite. Plus, I’m using Tumblr not only for Taylor but for my other interests, and there are a LOT of blogs that I’m truly obsessed with:

@wolftramp : amazing blog, I reblog EVERYTHING they post they’re my aesthetic

@studypetals like just wow, it’s the perfect embodiment of what studyblrs are and how awesome they are, tbh every studyblr is my life, they’re incredible and self motivating !

@expressions-of-nature very calming and relaxing and the pictures are mind-blowing follow themmm

@humansofnewyork I follow Brandon on every social network possible, his project is inspiring and humbling and everyone needs to know about him! I have one of his books and I read it from time to time. The moment I start reading it, I can’t stop. It’s breathtaking, the stories are raw and the pictures capture that truth

@taylorswiftstyle : God knows how much time I spent on Sarah’s blog, you’re my goddess, BLESS YOU!!

anonymous asked:

could i please i get some witch!reader x monster!kylo headcannons?? <3

Oh, I love this, though. All we’ve ever had was Hunter!Reader with Monster!Kylo but this could definitely prove to be interesting.

  • You found Kylo one day while out looking for herbs to restock
  • This was shortly after Snoke had driven Kylo too far and made his natural self deformed as we now know him (panther tail, saytr body, seemingly ink dipped hands, ram horns, golden eyes, and fangs)
  • He’s still adjusting to this new body that he has
  • Still he was on the run from Snoke and had been living in the wild for such a long time
    • “Come along, pet,” they soothe him
  • You takes pity on the poor boy because you know about Snoke and how awful he is
  • You take him in, give Kylo food and a bath
  • He starts to actually purr when you scrub the suds into his hair and massage the area around his horns, his head leaning into your touch. You can’t help but laugh
  • That night, because of his gratitude and you are working in front of your fireplace, Kylo curls up beside you on the rug
  • Each night, as time wears on and Kylo becomes ever grateful for their kindness and generosity of letting him stay there, he inches closer to them until one night, he settles his head in their lap
  • Immediately, you start stroking his hair and rubbing between his horns and he snuggles in closer to you, his claws lightly scratching of your pant leg as he flexes his fingers with the want to knead happily like a cat content
    • He falls asleep like that, his head in your lap
    • After you’re done working, you have to wake Kylo because he’s so heavy and like deadweight over your legs
  • For the longest time, he simply slept curled in front of the fire… but then he moved to the foot of your bed… and then he moved to be cuddling around you beneath the covers, his massive frame dwarfing you
    • He is forever in debt for all the kindness that you’ve shown him
  • He becomes unfailingly loyal and you help him to regain his shape-shifting powers after that
  • Now, when you go out, he either galavants as a giant, playful inky black lion or he sits content on your shoulder as a docile yet lazy raven
    • He loves to take naps in the sun filtering in from the outside
  • He loves belly scratches and hair scritches, he’s always looking for pets and affection for the longest time, his animal instincts from the Dark magic still heavily affecting him
  • For a while, he lets his problems go from his mind, simply content to act more as your familiar than anything. He would protect you with his life if the need ever arose and yet… you were powerful beyond imagine
  • You didn’t often display your powers, for you seemed to be a relatively peaceful being, yet one day, when the a few of Snoke’s other pupils rose up in their Umbra (shadow beast) forms, you displayed your awesome power and drove them off so easily
  • Kylo is subconsciously wary of you for a long while but knows that you would never hurt him in purpose. Your powers are too controlled and you are too easy-going for any of that
  • He does that weird thing sometimes that cats do where he’ll roll onto his stomach and tuck his head underneath itself in a way, one of his hands over his face while the other is stretched out completely
    • What a silly boy… you think on numerous occasions when he does this
  • It doesn’t take long before Kylo becomes inherently precious to you and you very much value his company, as does your own cat who he can seemingly speak to, though, that isn’t strange in the world of witches and monsters
Unspeakable self

From R.D. Laing’s The Divided Self:

What the individual variously terms his ‘own’ ‘inner’ ‘true’ ‘real’ self is experienced as divorced from all activity that is observable by another… 

This also informs another of my basic intuitions about social media, which is that it provides a forum for making things “observable” about yourself and therefore discard them from your “self.” That is, the “self-expression” online is more of a self-purgation, to see what is truly inexpressible (and thus essential) about the self, the part that can’t be separated from your embodiment. It permits — maybe even naturalizes — what Laing calls a “schizoid organization of the self,” which splits mind and body, though I would update that as mediated and nonmediated (and ditch the pejorative word schizoid). 

This inverts the commonsense idea that we want people to acknowledge and like things we post because we see then as representations of ourselves — as standing in for us. Instead, when people “observe” our online behavior, it confirms that material has been seen and expelled from the self, which doesn’t circulate. (When a parent posts a picture of their child, the child’s circulating image becomes a kind of talisman warding off the sense that the parent’s self is leaking away, becoming superseded.) 

The more one uses social media, the sharper the image of the self comes into focus for the user, not as an amalgam of what is shared but as a remainder, a residue, as what can’t be posted. That newly perceptible inner self relies on all that posting of the nonessential stuff to remain in focus — only by posting all that stuff can I remind myself of that “real” self that remains, that consciousness that does the posting. I need an endless flow of trivial material to share not because any of that represents me but because it defines a negative space where my inexpressible self could be. 

That is a roundabout way of saying that the process of communication posits a subject position that the “self” can seem to inhabit, and it is consolidated not before but after something is communicated. A pre-established self doesn’t direct communication but is spoken into being by it. I don’t have something to say so much as I want to speak to know myself as something unspeakable.    

True Colours: Ghost Story Deleted Scene

Asked by @elvesandturians : I was wondering though, does the main character still look like Camila or has she reverted back to her natural self?

A/N: This takes place somewhere between Part 3 and Part 4. It’s not a true deleted scene. I suppose it’s more of a drabble to add to the story. This was really fun to write tho, so if there are any other bits you have questions on, backstories you want to know about, etc. send an ask and I’ll try to write a little drabble on it.

Ghost Story Masterlist


You heard two knocks on the door and looked up from your book as Clint popped his head into the room.

“Hey kiddo, I brought you some lunch.”

You took the bag and peeked in, quickly closing it again with a squeak.

“Clint you didn’t!”

He beamed at you. “Why don’t you actually open the bag and see for yourself?”

You took the sandwich out of the wrapper and eyed it carefully before taking a large bite.

“Mmmm pefdo wi a hnt of aioli.” You groaned, giving Clint a thumbs up.

“I thought you’d like that flavour combination,” he chuckled, passing you a water bottle. “So, how are you feeling?”

You finished your bite and took a sip of water while you thought. “I’m alright,” you nodded. “Itching to leave the med bay, their food sucks, the usual.”

“Nah, you just prefer my sandwiches over their healthy cardboard.”

“That too.” You giggled, looking down at your feet as they swung back and forth off the edge of the hospital bed.

He nudged your arm. “You sure that’s it? Just sucky food and the usual?”

“I’m also feeling a bit blue I guess. I mean physically. I’m blue. It’s just… weird. Being this colour again. But I can’t really look like Camila can I? That’s not fair to Dr. Banner.”

Clint nodded thoughtfully. "Have you tried talking to Tony?”

“No?”

“I mean he does do all the DNA sciencey stuff. He could probably figure something out.”

“Huh. That’s actually not a half bad idea.”

You hopped off the hospital bed and looked up. “FRIDAY, where’s Tony?”

“He’s in Lab 4, dear. Shall I tell him you’re coming?”

“Yes please.”

You turned toward Clint, a smile tugging at your lips. “Let’s go find out what I look like.”


I didn’t know who to tag so I’m just tagging the usual Ghost Story and main taglists below the cut. I hope you enjoyed this little snippet :)

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Once you’ve reached the top of the mountain, take a moment to stop and admire how far you’ve come. Acknowledge all of the hard work you have put in to get to that achievement.