Got a story to tell you, been through some things but I’m healed - Donald Lawrence [Praise Your Way Out]
I like to think of myself as an unconventional do'er. I go completly different routes to get the simplest tasks done but when when I complete them people are always left saying “wow, why didn’t I think to do it that way”. I’m considered to be the life coach for the majority of my friends, unlike Sway I got all the answers, I got the education…at least when it comes to other peoples lives. I’m so quick to pull out a heart wrenching quote that would leave you wondering why I haven’t written a book yet. I was just proclaiming myself as a boss and nobody could stop me.
Before 2013 ended, I told myself that I couldn’t continue living my life the way I had been for the last two years. As motivated as I showed myself to be, I’d retreat to my room every night and cry myself to sleep. I was unsure of my future and I honestly never thought that I’d be able to amount to the things I had planned for myself. It was bad. Attempting to be super positive in public while, on the inside negative thoughts are eating you away is the worst feeling ever.
The last two months of 2013, I’d retreat to my room and cry myself to sleep but, not because of sadness, something inside of me was shifting. I increased my faith and started to “trust the process”. I didn’t allow negative thoughts to take over my mind and all things that happened to me, I took as spilled milk.
In November, I bought myself a 2014 planner and circled January 11th and wrote the words “MOVING DAY”. On Christmas Day, I used the magazines my sister purchased for me and created a vision board. I put phrases like “BLAH is not in your itinerary”, “Act FAST”, and “Countdown To Departure” up and let the universe do it’s magic.
January 1st came and I had no idea what was going on. The positivity that I used to end 2013 was magically erased with the New Year. Every morning, I’d wake up at 6AM to pray with my family then retreat to my room to give myself another 2 hours of “alone time”. Looking up at the vision board that I had created and continuously telling myself that my current situation is not where I will remain. On January 6th, while running errands,my truck slipped on a patch of ice and had me doing a double 360 in the middle of a residential neighborhood. During that time I screamed then eventually threw my hands up and said “Lord, my life is in your hands, whatever happens to me is up to you.” My truck ended up facing the opposite direction, stopping itself by slamming into a curb, blowing out my rear passenger tire. There was no way that I was going to spend another winter in Ohio.
Two days later, my mom and I had a talk. It wasn’t regular “girl talk”, she wanted to talk about my life. She too saw me remaining complacent and not succeeding because of the things that I allowed myself to get discouraged by. I won’t go deep into our conversation but, just know that after she left my room, I found myself on Southwest Airlines looking for the cheapest ONE WAY ticket out and then texting my college roommate telling her to make some room for me. January 10th, my ticket was purchased and I was on my way to California the following week.
Fastforward to today January 22, 2014, my brother is celebrating a birthday and I’m four days in to my new life in California. Although it’s cold up here in the Bay Area, I could not be more happier. Opportunities are presenting themselves faster than they had been since I graduated almost two years ago, the positivity that I would show on the outside, is the same on the inside and I feel FREE. I don’t want to live a life where I didn’t take a risk. I’m not sure of what my life will look like in the next 5 years but, I do know that when that time comes I won’t be asking myself “what if?
All of my posts like "Take the First Step”, videos on having more wedgie moments and everything else…those just weren’t for you. They were used as my own personal motivators.
…with all that being said, I’m a Bay Area girl now! West Coast people, let’s be friends in real life!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Walking by FAITH and not by sight.