Some tips to writing gay sex when you aren’t a gay guy:
When your characters are cis men:
- Preparation can be key. If your character didn’t expect to have sex that night, then he probably isn’t prepared. If there is penetration going to be happening, some men prefer to get themselves ready… y’know… clean up. Otherwise bad stuff can sometimes happen and it’s not pleasant for either person.
- LUBE. Not spit. LUBE. Spit dries up really easily and it can pull on that sensitive flesh and that’s not a pleasant experience for most people. There are also different types of lube which you can choose from depending on the type of situation!
- There are other ways of having sex then putting dick in butt. Many other ways. Explore them! This also applies to every other gender.
- Stretching before penetration is important, it can REALLY hurt otherwise. Your character needs to be relaxed, but don’t overstretch them (that can hurt too). That ain’t fun buddy, don’t put your character through that.
- Don’t just… have your guy who is on top slam his dick into the other? That’s not fun, put some speed differences in there, have him pay attention to the other’s responses.
When the characters are trans men:
- All trans men are different, much like all cis men are different, and all girls are different, and all other-gendered-folk are different as well. Each has their own experience with their lives, these notes are just things that I’ve personally learned along the way, so they may not be applicable to everyone!
- After going on HRT (hormone replacement therapy), men can grow facial hair and get a deeper voice.
- If your character shows signs of having hormones, he may not be able to produce natural lubrication anymore in his parts. Much like cismen, he also needs lube.
- Some trans men prefer anal, just cause gender dysphoria can suck sometimes.
- Try to stray away from calling your trans character terms like ‘tranny’ or other terms that can be hurtful. (Some older generations may find power in the term, so this can change.)
- Some trans men feel uncomfortable when people start talking about their ‘pussy’, calling them ‘woman’, or wanting to ‘impregnate them’ (which for some people -not all though- is impossible once you’ve been on HRT for a while). You might trigger the aforementioned gender dysphoria again in your readers, but also in your character.
- It’s not a good feeling, so maybe stray away from that! :)
- Be kind to your trans man, (and your other characters of course), so give him things that make him feel validated as the man he truly is. Use he/him/his pronouns, be obvious about it.
Feel free to add more! This is not an all-encompassing list!
It’s also good to note that everything changes from person to person, so feel free to do some research and talk to trans and cis men alike, go out and write what you like, what makes you happy!