I ended up crying after leaving the club because of a mini panic attack. The panic attack had started because I had came to the realization that I was the ugly darker friend of the two high yellow black girls. I’m more brown, but compared to them I’m the darkest and unprettty one. I honestly see how hard it is to grow older into being a black woman, it’s hard when you’re judged 24/7 for being born with such characteristics. It gives me such low self esteem, but colorism is real and true. I feel like I have to have some sort of weave or type of braids in my hair to be considered beautiful, instead of wearing my natural out. I feel more ashamed than appreciated. I don’t even know how to bring it up because our struggles are slightly different. Yes we’re both black, but one of us is more acceptable than the other and been like this for centuries. I just wish I never had a breakdown, this shit hurts.
If anyone is looking for another Instagram to follow, I’m trying to archive all of my recent photography/kick off my career as a freelance photographer! I’m official employed with iStock as a contributor if you were curious so keep an eye out for me! You can find me @seanster_mccoy