anonymous asked:

How do I deal with my annoying parents? They're always comparing me with more successful people and I'm just not naturally smart and talented.

To deal with your annoying parents learn to recognize how smart and talented you are. If you can stop being annoyed by your parents, then you are smart and talented indeed. Learning to react differently to your parents is a talent you can develop. Learning not to compare yourself to other people is also a talent you can develop, even if your parents don’t have such a talent.

The hardest part about learning not to be annoyed by your parents is that until you learn it the process is annoying. The trick is to pay attention to how you get annoyed. Parents have unique and natural talents for annoying their children. Intentionally and unintentionally they annoy you with looks, gestures, tone of voice, and most pointedly with what they say and do. Before you can get over being annoyed by them you have to build your tolerance for their annoyances.

Practice watching your reaction and taking complete responsibility for getting annoyed. Blaming parents for being annoying gives them all the power. When you recognize that you are getting annoyed, not that they are annoying you you have made great progress. The next step is to change your reaction to being annoyed. When you notice yourself becoming annoyed, notice your reaction. Notice what you think and what you do. Initial reactions happen lightning quick, rolling your eyes or answering in the wrong tone of voice can escalate the annoyance even before you notice that you are annoyed. By paying attention to your reactions you can learn to be more intentional with how you respond. If you learn to respond instead of react you have made fantastic progress.

The added ingredient that you need in your response that is often unavailable in a reaction is compassion. Compassion is a skill and talent that you can develop both for yourself and for your annoying parents.  To practice for yourself pay attention to all the things you think about yourself and see how they hurt. Try not to think hurtful things about yourself. When you notice that happening, remember that you need to be nicer to yourself. When you get good at being nicer to yourself in your own thoughts you will be more aware of when others, including your parents are being unkind in their words and actions.

To practice compassion for your parents, try to imagine that they love you and want what is best for you. Remember that your suffering causes them to suffer. Remember that they don’t know how best to respond to you or how to motivate you. Remember that they are still learning how to live a happy life just like you are. Imagine that they compare themselves to others all the time too and that leads them to more suffering. Even when you are annoyed, try to wish for them to suffer less.

As you practice being aware of your reaction to your parents and practice compassion for yourself you will grow in smarts and talent in this very important area of life. When you are happy with who you are, no comparisons can hurt you. That takes time, practice and patience. Keep practicing, your parents will surely continue to provide you with many opportunities to build your skills.

You know, I feel like A:tLA really found a way to resonate with the struggles that a lot of kids face.

Aang is the struggle of the “gifted child”. He’s told from a young age that he’s going to do incredible things that puts him under a lot of pressure until he finally pulls off the ultimate procrastination trying to avoid the stress. He shows a lot of talent in what he’s good at, but when he tries learning something he’s not immediately good at he is easily discouraged. He’s also almost paralyzed by the fear of failing. (To be fair, the stakes are very high in his case).

Katara is the child with all of the talent she could ever need, but none of the opportunity. She has a real natural talent for waterbending, but no place at home where she can get training to develop the talent. It reminds me of kids from my school who were extremely talented in theatre, but couldn’t afford to participate after they instated the $200 “pay to participate” rules on extracurriculars.

Toph is the child with plenty of talent, but physical limitations that she has to go beyond. She has to prove that she is twice as good to get the same respect (and boy does she ever)! And she has to balance making sure that no one treats her disability as her defining characteristic, while still making sure it’s accounted for. Her parents would have let her blindness rule her life and she had to fight just to get the chance to show her talents.

Sokka is like the kid with lots of talent, but in an area that’s not very valued. At least not when compared to the benders. Like the kid who draws incredible comics in their notebooks, but is looked down on because they just can’t get an A on their report cards. Or the kid who is a talented pianist that everyone asks about getting prepared for a “real career” while the kids on the football team are being told to watch for recruiters.

That’s just the Gaang, but you could keep doing this with so many characters (I mean, everything about Zuko!), but I’m just really grateful that even in this fantastic setting there were a lot of things people could identify with.

I want a female sports anime. Everything is the same as male sports anime. A black haired blue eyed protagonist who wants to be the best/is naturally talented. And like in every good sports anime, everyone has to be gay in a subtle way. Subtle from anyone in the anime’s view but way too gay to actually be straight.


16-Year-Old Artist Dimitra Milan Paints Her Wildest Dreams

16-year-old artist Dimitra Milan grew up surrounded by art and has since worked to cultivate her own unique style. Four years ago, she began painting when her parents opened Arizona’s Milan Art Institute, allowing her to take any class that caught her attention. From classical oil techniques to contemporary mixed media, Milan’s skill set grew along with her desire to paint. The artist then started homeschooling so she could dedicate her free time to improving and exploring her creative passion. It turns out that this was time well-spent because, after finishing high school early, Milan started painting full-time and is now a celebrated professional artist.