a couple riding by on a bicycle. One rackety bicycle, two people, preferably
also a 20-pound-heavy grocery bag on each handle and a small dog. They are in
perfect balance and harmony and no one ends up in the hospital with head
are multi-story parking lots for bicycles that are bigger than the average car
park. For some reason, they are still filled to the brim every single day
despite there being enough space for almost 15.000 bikes.
are waiting at the exits of supermarkets. They’ve got bags strapped to their
shoulders and their lines ready in their head. “Do you have football cards?”
They ask every poor soul who happens to exit. Their eyes are hungry. They will
get their football cards. They will get their football cards even if it becomes
the death of them.
double-lock your bike just to be sure. The next morning it’s gone anyway.
you’re from Holland?” A foreigner asks you. “How much weed do you smoke?” You and
almost everyone you know smoke no weed yet you’re always asked this.
had English language classes in high school. You learned nothing from them. You
speak English anyway.
had French language classes in high school. You learned nothing from them. You
speak only the most basic French phrases.
per year, the streets in the big cities are devoid of almost all traffic. A
bright orange hue flows through every street, every corner. People dance,
people sell their old shit, people get piss-drunk. The streets are overflowing
with people in orange. It’s total anarchy. The next morning everything is clean
and normal again.
foreign friend asks you if learning Dutch would be a fun idea. You get war
flashbacks from every single time you failed a Dutch grammar test despite it
being your native language.