nasty ga

Blogging Organically: How to Keep Your Blog Locally Grown, Away From Harmful FunnyMan Growth Hormones

before you reblog a post, check the tags and see where people are reblogging it from. if you see one or two names popping up 80% of the time, this post has likely been infected by a FUNNYMAN (FM for short), and should be avoided for health reasons. these posts receive their large size because of an artificial inflation caused by an FM.

if the post, however, is being reblogged by people from a variety of different names, it’s safe to assume that this post is free of any FM chemicals, and will not harm your blog.

remember! just because a post has a lot of notes, doesnt mean it has any FM chemicals!

blog safe! keep your blog away from nasty FM chemicals! gas-light your family into second-hand arguments against random people on the internet while using yourself as a vessel for their misguided anger! and dont forget to feed your dog.

Jason Todd does not like crying.

It’s nothing to do with the ‘boys don’t cry’ bullshit (I’ve died. I do whatever I want!). Instead, it’s more about the fact that Jason is an ugly crier.

Anytime he even vaguely starts crying- even when it’s just a reaction to fear gas- he turns into rudolf, his sinuses clog up, and he needs about a box of tissues before he can breathe again.

And once he’s started, he can’t stop. Unlike Tim, who turns his tears on and off like some kind of freaky, manipulative tear-hose (shut up, it’s creepy), once the tears begin, he becomes a sobbing, snotty mess for at least ten minutes. It’s terrible and painful and he hates every single second of it.

When he was on the streets, he didn’t cry much. Even after his mom’s death, it wasn’t worth the risk of being so week.

He’d cried exactly twice at the manor.
The first time was a few months in, after he’d failed to save a puppy some thief had thrown in the harbor to distract him. Jason was pretty sure there were other reasons, but he didn’t allow himself to dwell on them. To his horror, Bruce had been the one to find him, hiding in an abandoned sitting room. Gotham’s protector hadn’t said a word- he hadn’t tried to touch the skittish boy either. Instead, he sat at the edge of Jason’s reach with a book and read until the boy had cried himself out, reaching for human contact when he was ready.
The second time was after his last big fight with Bruce before he left. Alfred had found him in the garden and after a moment’s shock, he’s gathered the boy in his arms and held him tightly until Jason was done.

He could never allow Talia or Ra’s or any of the League to see him cry. Anytime he felt even the faintest urge, he made sure to pick a fight or hit the training room. Anything to push away the stinging heat behind his eyes.

He hates the fact that Roy and Kori have needed to pull him out of his head so many times, but coming down in their tangled embrace is a blessing he’s painfully grateful for.

He doesn’t cry much in front of his 'family’, but after a particularly nasty dose of Crane’s gas, he’ll admit that Dick’s octopus self isn’t the worst hug he’s ever gotten, and Damian shows something like tact for the first time in his life enough to not mention it. Tim keeps him supplied with tissues and Alfred brings him a hot mug of his special blend tea. Neither ever speaks of it, but Jason isn’t too distracted to miss Bruce, lurking on the edges of Jason’s reach with an old book, his presence like a rock for Jason to latch onto should he so choose.

Jason does not like crying. But he supposes that there are worse things.

Tyler and Logan

Another true story for all you fellow fart pigs about two hot twins I knew back in high school. Both of them had no shame unleashing some nasty man gas. Tyler and Logan were hot jacked lacrosse studs in high school. They both went on to play college lacrosse probably ripping ass all over the field. I pictured the three of us studs fucking all the time and would jack off constantly after we had a gassy hang out.

My favorite one of Tyler’s farts even years later I stroke my dick too. I had gone over his house one weekend night to hang out and maybe try to steal some alcohol from his parents. His mom greeted me and said I could just wait in Tyler’s room because he was taking a shower.

While I was waiting in the room picturing Tyler stroking his cock in the shower and soaping up his nice muscular ass I heard a quick whistle.

Tyler stood in the frame of the doorway dropped his towel to show off his firm white ass and unleashed one of the biggest farts I had ever heard.


I was stunned by how fucking big his fart was while Tyler himself hysterically laughed.

“Fuck, Oh my god dude that’s gonna stink, I don’t think I ever farted that hard!” He said between laughs. Meanwhile I started to laugh along feeling my dick begging for some attention. His fart alone made me want to cum on the spot but later in the night I knew Tyler took some cocky pride in his gas.

We continued to rip ass all night as was accustomed for two high school boys and later met up with some more friends. Out of nowhere Tyler made sure all the guys knew of how massively he farted earlier today and how his new fiber one bars gave him some made gas. (They really do).

While Tyler unleashed massive farts Logan constantly let his ass stink with non stop toots. There were constantly stories of Logan stinking up any room. My personal favorite jerk material was simply on a bench together.

Logan myself and Tyler were shooting the shit when all of the sudden the bench creaked and then started to vibrate aggressively for a solid three seconds.

Phhhrrrfftttttttttttttt brrrt

Tyler and myself stared at Logan who started to crack up. “Sorry guys, was holding that in around the girls for like 20 minutes” he exclaimed. I still remember to feeling of that bench vibrating with Logan’s gas.

Just thinking of these two stud twins gets me hard they were the perfect example of how men and brothers should be ripping ass around anyone they felt proudly.

This story is entirely true and I got plenty more. Message me and let’s fart together on kik


from a page thats since been deleted

I looked down at my watch for what seemed like the millionth
time since I came into the room almost half an hour ago. 3:20. I
still had 40 minutes of detention left. I peered up at Ms.
McCormick who was sitting at her desk and scribbling busily in a
notebook. I couldn’t believe she gave me such a long detention for
being a couple of minutes late. If it wasn’t for her, I could be
home right now watching TV instead of sitting in class an extra
hour. Oh well, at least I’d be able to get a head start on my
homework, I told myself. Just as I stared down at my anatomy book
to begin reading the chapter, I heard a loud fit of laughter coming
from the doorway followed by Ms. McCormick’s annoyingly reproachful
“You’re late,” she growled in the meanest tone possible.
I looked up from my book to see Chad Parker and Kyle Clark
entering the room.
“Sorry,” Chad said. “We had to tell Coach Davis we weren’t
gonna be at baseball practice today.”
“Yeah, thanks to you,” Kyle mumbled under his breath.
It’s a good thing Ms. McCormick was hard at hearing, I
“Have a seat,” she said, menacingly.
As the two troublemakers searched for their seats, I
casually checked them out, as I had done many times before in the
hallways. They were both pretty hot guys…a year older than me,
athletic, in great shape, with a certain cockiness that turned me on
for some reason. Chad was tall with blond hair, blue eyes, and was
wearing jeans tight enough to show off his enormously round bubble
butt. Kyle was about the same height with brown hair, green eyes,
and had an ass that was a close runner-up to Chad’s. Much to my
surprise, they both took seats on each side of me, so now I was
sitting between two of the hottest guys in school. Trying not to
pop a boner, I tried to take my mind off of the two hotties by
returning to my studies. My eyes gazed across the letters but
didn’t really read the words. I was in no mood to study anatomy
unless it involved Chad or Kyle.
Suddenly I heard Ms. McCormick’s voice again, as she
said, “I need to make copies of tomorrow’s worksheets. You’d better
behave while I’m gone unless you want another day of detention.”
I heard both guys groan from both sides of me. Then Ms.
McCormick headed out, closing the door behind her.
“You’d better behave unless you want another day of
detention,” Chad mocked, in a pretty accurate portrayal of Ms.
McCormick’s voice.
Kyle cracked up laughing, as if it was the funniest thing in
the world, while I pretended to be interested in my anatomy book.
“Yeah, here’s my response to that,” Kyle said.
Then the unimaginable happened. BRRRRUMPPPPP!!!!! Kyle let
out the loudest, most obnoxious sounding fart I had heard in a
while. It lasted for about 5 seconds, was full of bass, and
vibrated loudly against the wooden desk he was sitting in. It was
such a manly sounding fart. Suddenly a whiff of sweaty unclean
butthole wafted my way from Kyle’s direction. Chad laughed
“Good one,” he commented. “But not better than this.”
I looked out of the corner of my eye just in time to see
Chad lift his ass slightly off of his seat and fire a fart in my
direction. PHHHHRRRRTTTTT PHRRRTTT BLAT!!! A nice high-pitched
three-parter that ended with a short wet blast. It wasn’t long
before the smell of rotten eggs drifted my way. Chad cracked up at
his own fart, while Kyle waved his hand in front of his nose, waving
the stink away.
“Damn dude,” Kyle said. “What the f*** did you eat?”
“Well I had the taco salad today in the cafeteria,” he
replied. “So there should be much more where that came from.”
All this time, I just sat in between them, right in the
middle of the crossfire and fart talk. It was just like surround
sound. I suddenly noticed that my cock was starting to rise a
little in my pants.
“Try to match this,” Kyle said, then I heard him straining a
little, before another fart blasted out of his hot ass.
“Ahhhh,” he sighed with relief.
Not only was this one a lot longer and louder than the
first, but the smell was a lot shittier, like half-wiped asshole.
“Dude, you really need to learn to wipe your ass after you
take a shit,” Chad said, laughing his ass off.
“Maybe if I wasn’t in such a hurry to get to Ms. McCormick’s
detention, I would’ve,” Kyle responded.
By now, I had a full hard-on. I couldn’t believe these two
hot seniors were cutting smelly farts right in front of me and
talking about it like it was nothing.
“Hey, what are you reading?”
I looked up and noticed that Kyle was talking to me. Then I
looked down at the page I was on. Male anatomy. And there was a
big diagram of the male reproductive system on the page.
“I think he’s checking out some guy’s dick,” Chad chimed in.
“But I—” I started to explain.
“Are you a fag, boy?” Chad asked, sneering at me.
I opened my mouth to answer, but Kyle interrupted
“Do you know what we do to little fags like you?”
Kyle and Chad both exchanged mischievous glances. Then,
before I knew it, Kyle jumped out of his seat and was standing in
front of my desk, with his protruding bubble butt only mere inches
from my nose. All I could do was stare with amazement at
the “bootyful” sight before me. Then I felt Chad’s hand grab my
head from behind and as if in slow motion, I felt him push my face
towards Kyle’s inviting, farting jean-clad ass.

“Do you know what we do to little fags like you?”
Kyle and Chad both exchanged mischievous glances. Then, before I
knew it, Kyle jumped out of his seat and was standing in front of my
desk, with his protruding bubble butt only mere inches from my
nose. All I could do was stare with amazement at the “bootyful”
sight before me. Then I felt Chad’s hand grab my head from behind
and as if in slow motion, I felt him push my face towards Kyle’s
inviting jean-clad ass.
Suddenly my nose was pressed right into the seam of Kyle’s tight
jeans. The smell of his ass hit me right away. It was a perfect
balance of sweaty buttcrack, musk, and slightly dirty funky
asshole. I was pretty sure that my nose was directly on his hole
because the smell was pretty strong. I felt Kyle rubbing his butt
back and forth on my nose, grinding his hole on my nostrils, and
simultaneously felt my cock grow even harder. I was completely
loving it, but in order to hide my enjoyment from the two bullies, I
tried to pull away. But Chad wouldn’t allow it. He quickly shoved
my head back into his friend’s stinky butt, and I guess the sudden
pressure from the push caused Kyle’s butthole to react, and I was
instantly struck by another loud fart.
PPPPhhHHHhhRRuuUUuuuuUuuUMpPpPP PHHERRTT!!!!! A nice deep fart
followed by a high-pitched toot. As he farted, a long, strong gust
of hot wind blasted me right on the nose quickly followed by a
overpowering shitty smell mixed with sweat. The smell was
undeniably manly and a big turn on. I heard Kyle and Chad both
cracking up.
“Aw man, it stinks,” Chad commented between loud fits of
laughter. “You ever heard of toilet paper?”
“The bathroom was all out,” Kyle replied, nonchalantly.
PHHERRTTT PHERTTTT!!! This one was shorter and more high-
pitched, but the smell only got stinkier.
“So how does my ass smell, fag?” Kyle taunted.
Chad pulled my face out of his friend’s butt so I could respond.
“Pretty gross, can you stop now?” I asked, secretly hoping he’d
say no and continue.
“Hmmmm…” Kyle hesitated. “Sure.”
I felt my heart drop with disappointment, then he said, “I’ll let
Chad take over instead.”
Kyle and Chad did a quick switcharoo so I couldn’t escape the
wrath of their nasty gas. The next thing I knew, Chad had smashed
his butt onto my face and let out a loud stinky fart in my
“Ahhhhh,” he sighed with relief, rubbing is crack on my face.
A strong egg smell wafted up my nostrils and filled them up with
stink. Before I could recover from the strong smell, another one
blasted me in the face a second or so later. BRUUUUMP BRRRUUUUUUMP
BRUMP BRUMP!!!!! A nice four-parter…each one smellier and louder
than the last. The smell lingered in my nostrils for what seemed
like a lifetime. Then I felt myself being pushed out of my seat,
while I heard Kyle say, “I got one, I got one.”
As I fell to the floor, Kyle rolled me over on my back and I saw
him pulling his pants down. I got a glimpse of his tight white
briefs and wondered how they held his big bubblebutt so easily. I
noticed a pretty long medium-brown skidmark down the center. Then
before I knew it, he was sitting on my face in skidmarked, funky
briefs. The moment the soft cotton briefs touched my face, I felt a
long blast of hot air spread across my nose, as he let out an SBD
through the skidmark in his underwear. This one was the worst-
smelling one yet. Like pure unclean shitty butthole. Kyle lifted
up for a moment and I saw him pulling down his underwear. He
squatted back over my face, his raw naked slightly hairy asscrack
resting on my face with my nose pressed to his stinkin’ butthole.
His hole smelled very musky and dirty. Then he cut another series
of farts. BruuuUmp BruuUump BruUuUump PHERRTTT!!! Followed by
more hysterical laughter. I heard the guys slap palms, giving each
other high-fives.
“Smell that one, fartface,” Kyle demanded, menacingly.
“Ooh ooh, I got one,” Chad chimed in, excitedly.
Once again, they made a quick switch. Chad quickly pulled down
his pants and straddled my face in tight-fitting boxerbriefs. He,
too, had on unclean underwear, with a few light skids in the seat of
his boxerbriefs that I could see through the back. He squatted down
and let my nose enter into his ripe butthole. I heard him straining
really hard, and felt his butthole pushing out against my nose
really hard. Then after a few seconds of pushing…
As the overwhelming eggy/shitty smell blasted my face, I noticed
that the cloth felt a bit moist on my nose. Then I felt Chad
quickly jump up and saw him pull up his pants really fast.
“Oh shit,” he said, buckling his jeans frantically. “I think I
let out a too much.”
Both guys cracked up, as Chad hurried out of the door and down
the hall toward the bathroom.
I just laid on the floor, completely blown away by the whole
“Hope you learned your lesson, shitface,” Kyle said,
sneering. “Now get back in your seat and pretend it never happened
before Ms.McCormick gets back. And if you say anything about it to
anybody, we’ll do it to you again, but this time we’ll invite the
whole baseball team.”
The thought of being farted on by the whole team made my cock
even harder, but I guess Kyle wasn’t paying too much attention. I
quickly got off of the floor and into my desk before he could notice
the throbbing boner in my pants. A few seconds later, Ms. McCormick
returned, carrying the copied worksheets. She suddenly stopped in
her tracks as she entered the room.
“What happened in here?” she asked, her face scrunched into a
disgusted expression. “Smells absolutely atrocious. One of you must
be responsible for this.”
Neither one of us spoke.
“That leaves me with no choice but to give BOTH of you another
day of detention,” she said. “And where is the other hoodlum? No
one leaves detention without permission. I will see ALL of you
again tomorrow.”
Kyle groaned loudly. I looked back down at my anatomy book and
smiled inside. I wondered if I would get more of Chad and Kyle’s
smelly fart treatment.

Two Prompt Tuesday #31

Prompt: She’s a tornado with pretty eyes and a heartbeat.
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word Count: 960
Warnings: None. 

A/N: My deepest apologies that there’s no Sam pairing in this one, @oriona75, but the people spoke. There is, however, just for you, a sick Sam in desperate need of some TLC that only you can give. 

Two Prompt Tuesday Masterlist

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Please consider that tumblr user ga/yma/nga views yaoi and bara as things that ’recently begun to exist in the same space’ in recent years because ’BL fans and artists alike have found opportunities to cross over to the rougher, “macho” world of gei komi.’

And this completely ignores the fact that the majority of yaoi is written by cishet women for cishet women and features a disgusting frequency of fetishization of gay men, particularly by inserting the heteronormative concept of the ‘seme’ and the 'uke’ (the strong, masculine (but still bishounen) top and the weaker, effeminate bottom) while bara is primarily written by gay men for gay men.

On top of this their faq continues by describing bara as an 'antiquated slur against gay men’ that was 'audaciously reappropriated in the title of the magazine Barazoku’ while refusing to comment that Barazoku was the first commercially circulated gay magazine in Japan and was first published/promoted by someone with a history supporting the oppressed homosexual community of the time, who although heterosexual, had assistance from two gay men from the beginning of the publication. In fact, those two gay men did most of the work, especially for the first issue of the magazine (as explained in the origins section).

They also seem to imply that the Japanese board owners who popularized the term 'bara’ had no idea that it had origins as a slur. Who if they didn’t know about the slur, were basing it on a publication by gay men for gay men.

They claim yaoi and bara are different genres in their faq, but don’t actually explain the difference between the two in their respective summaries, really.

Additionally their explanation for why it was a slur comes from exactly one manga artist, which is a tiny, tiny sample size. They’re also referencing an interview from 2012 that they only quoted about three lines from so. What the hell else did he say?

Disclaimer: I understand Wikipedia is a potentially unreliable source but it’s a lot better than saying “I totally talked to this guy and this is what he told me”.

Change of Heart (Gally x Reader)

Character: Gally

Fandom: Maze Runner

Title: Change of Heart

Requested by anonymous: 

Gallyxreader please? She’s the latest greenie and he’s not exactly enthused about her arrival and the distractions she’s causing. Her first night there he tries to like square up to her and ‘put her in her place’ but she fights back and knocks him out with a punch/kick or something? Then he respects her and makes sure no one messes with her and is like an overprotective brother or something please?

A/N: Sorry this took so long to upload, I’ve been having a hard time writing this imagine for whatever the reason. But I hope you like it!! :3

Starting a new life is always hard. But especially if you have no memories of your past, no idea of what is happening, and on top of all, a controlling and annoying guy that keeps nagging you all the time.

During the entirety of my first day in that strange place, most of the boys were unexpectedly nice to me. Taking in consideration that they were all boys and that they seemed to be usually so frisky and sometimes kind of playfuly mean to each other, they were truly supporting and caring as I tried to go through the day. And they mostly helped me with anything that I asked them to: showing me around, giving me a hand with something…

Alby gave me the Tour and explained everything I needed to know about that so called ‘Glade’ where I was to live from then on. He talked about the rules, the jobs, the Maze, the other boys or Gladers, the Homestead and the rest of the parts of that courtyard. It was a little overwhelming, really, but I managed.

At least it felt nice to be included in their little family when Alby gave me the knife to carve my name on the stone wall.

The boys were really glad that I was there. I guess living for so long with only guys and then suddenly having a girl is pretty exhilarating. I was the wonder of the Glade. Many of the boys kept talking and flirting with me and it got kind of annoying because I just wanted to be alone as I took in all that happened during the day.

Luckily, Alby would tell them to ‘get their shuck asses back to work before he threw them in the Slammer’ everytime. So I had my moments of privacy after they thought I knew all I needed to know for a ‘Greenie’.

As the day came to end and the Glade was engulfed by the darkness of the night, Alby showed me to my hammock and I happily went to sleep. I was beyond exhausted.

A silhouette startled me as I was about to close my eyes, trying to relax and erase any of those troubling thoughts off my mind. I looked up to see Gally and sighed.

He carried a torch in his hand to light the way, and he was staring at me in a way I didn’t like.

“Oh, no…” I lowly said to myself.

He was the annoying guy that kept pestering me.

“Can I talk to you, Greenie?” He simply asked, his hands on his hips in an angry stance.

“Sure…” I stood up and ironed my shirt with my hands restlessly, following Gally as he distanced himself from the other Gladers.

I already had an idea of what he wanted to discuss about with me. Ever since I got to the Glade, he was moaning and whining non-stop. Nothing I ever did seemed to please him, no matter what I did or how good my intentions were.

“You need to stop this right now” Gally’s voice was creaky and unpleasant to hear, overall if he only opened his big mouth to blame it all on me.

“What exactly is ‘this’?” I was fed up with all.

I had just lived the worst day of my life –I didn’t remember other days, but it couldn’t get much worse than finding yourself trapped on a courtyard inside a gigantic Maze and being surrounded only by boys, a few of them making my life impossible- and there he was, making it all better with his kindness.

I just wanted to relax, but he wouldn’t let me be.

“Distracting everyone and turning it all upside down. Your mere presence in this Glade must mean something really bad is going on” He threw a glare at me, with such contempt and disgust.

My hands closed tight in fists. I was getting so angry.

“I didn’t do anything! I didn’t ask to be thrown in here!”

Gally glanced around quickly, and I noticed too how a few torches lit up. Other Gladers had noted our argument and were too curious to just ignore it.

“You did! Batting your little eyes at them and asking them to do stuff for you! You’re only a distraction” He pushed his fingertips against my shoulder in a mean way. “You’re a curse, that’s what you are! You’ll only bring us disasters!”

That was it. I wasn’t going to let him pick on me anymore.

Anger filled my veins as I heard him going on and on about what was wrong with me.  

“Your name doesn’t deserve to be on our wall, because you-“  

My fist made contact with his face making an unpleasant sound.

“Ouch!” I yelped in pain as I held my hand against my chest tightly.

I looked over to Gally to study the damage I made on him. He swayed backwards and fell on his back heavily.

“She bloody knocked Gally out!” I heard Newt exclaiming in the distance.

A commotion started as everyone gathered around me and the unconscious Gally. Incredulous eyes fixed on me between murmuring and pointing.

Minho walked over to me and energetically patted my shoulder.

“Holy shuck, this Greenie!” He mumbled cheerfully.

At least no one seemed to be hating on me after I had just punched one of their fellow Gladers.

The next day I started trying out the jobs with Newt. After I had tried every single one of them except for the Med-Jacks -and the Sloppers, I guess -we headed for the medical hut.

Gally was still unconscious, lying motionless in one of the cots of the rooms. They had examined my hand because I couldn’t even fall asleep since it hurted so badly. The Keeper of the Med-Jacks said that I had broken a few knuckle bones and had bandaged it.

“Good luck, Greenie” Newt mumbled as he left me with the Keeper.

“I’m Clint” He introduced himself. “What was your name again, Greenbean?”


“Right, Y/N, let’s get to it”

I worked with Clint for a few hours, but I didn’t seem suitable for the Med-Jacks either. It was what I did best, and Clint mentioned that I could do a decent Med-Jack if I worked hard enough. Preferably this than a Slopper.

Even after I exited the hut, Gally was still out cold. So I asked Clint to let me know when Gally woke up. I owed him an apology.

During lunch time, a guy named Jeff said he had been sent by Clint to tell me that Gally was finally awake so I went to see him.

I knew he would be fuming mad at that very moment and that I was the last person he’d want to see. But telling him I was sorry was the right thing to do, and the least I could say to him.

I cautiously walked into the room and laid eyes upon Gally.

He was sitting in his bed, and he had a black eye. I winced just by watching the nasty bruise.


Hearing his name being called, he looked up at me.

Well, he hadn’t killed me yet. So far so good.

“I’m sorry, Gally…I didn’t mean to knock you out… I didn’t mean to hit you, I just got angry, and…” I rushed in my words, knowing I should apologize while I still could.

Gally held his hand up to silence me.

“No, Greenie, I’m sorry” He said, to my surprise. “It’s not really your fault”

I was left speechless by the sudden change of heart. So he kept on talking.

“I’ll tell Alby that you acted in self-defense so he won’t call the Gathering on your punishment”

I suddenly remember one of the rules: ‘Never hurt another Glader’.

Before I could stop him, Gally had left the hut.

I was playing with Bark calmly as the Keepers hadn’t gotten out of the Gathering yet. They were deciding my fate in the Glade, what job I would do. Hopefully not a Slopper.

I scratched Bark behind the ears as he wiggled his tail happily.

“Only these guys would call a doggy Bark” I giggled as the dog barked.

“Hey!” Someone shouted at me.

I let Bark and turned in the direction of the boy. It was one of the Gladers that enjoyed annoying me, Stan.

“What now?”

“Don’t be sassy, Greenie” He scowled at me. “Why aren’t you working?”

“Um… because I still don’t have a job?”

“Are you making fun of me?!”

“Relax, I just said-“

“Stan!” Another Glader meddled in. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Wait, it was… Gally? What?!

“She’s sitting here doing nothing! Playing with the dog!”

“Because we’ve just gotten out of the Gathering, slinthead!” Gally yelled back at him, grabbing my arm and pulling me close to him in a protective way.

Everyone watched amazed how Gally defended me from Stan. Me included, as I observed the scene over his shoulder with wide eyes.

“She’ll probably be a Slopper anyway!”

“She’s a Med-Jack from now on” Gally proudly told him. “And I better not see you terrorizing her like that again, you hear me?”

“Yeah, Captain Gally…” Stan just walked away, not affected that much by Gally’s words.

Still, he had standed up for me. Surprisingly.

As Gally turned to look at me, he noticed the nosy people watching, mostly the Keepers that had exited the Gathering as well and heard the discussion.

“What are you shanks doing there? Move!”

They rolled their eyes at him and left us alone.

“Thanks for that, I guess” I told him sheepishly.

“You’re welcome”

“Why did you defend me?”

“I wanted to”

I knitted my eyebrows together in confusion.

“You have that black eye because of me. And I’m pretty sure everyone is mocking you about it, by the way” This Gally was leaving an impression on me. First in a bad way, but now…

“You’ve got guts, I like you” He assured, nodding to himself. “And I just want to make sure no one messed with you”


“We got off to a bad start” He warmly smiled at me, something I had never seen him do before. “Friends?”

“Sure” We firmly shook hands to start over.

He wasn’t so bad after all. He wouldn’t stop smiling as he engulfed me in a nice and cozy hug.

“I will protect you from now on”


Mismatched Pieces

He can’t remember her…completely. He remembers bits and pieces, he remembers thoughts and feelings, sometimes sensations and sometimes more, but what he does know is that she can hold his hand and it won’t make him feel ill.

He misses that part.

[3313 words, post-Hell Bent, general G rating with some vague allusions to Things]

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Avengers Assemble 1x17 - Savages [x]





yourordinarysciencegirl  asked:

How do you keep yourself from getting sick, as someone who works closely with patients? I keep my hygiene on supreme (washing hands, cover with sleeve when sneezing, etc.,) and still managed to get cold. Is there a secret method for doctors to not get sick?

I am one of those lucky people who rarely gets sick. I was one of those kids whose moms didn’t take them to the doctor for every cough or sniffle, so my immune system learned to fend for itself, I guess. I never get traveller’s diarrhea (even though I LURVE street food) and my MRSA carrier screen was, by some work of God, still negative before my surgery this year. I’ve gotten viral AGE and strep pharyngitis at work on my peds rotations, but both were caught at times when we were inundated with patients with those diagnoses and both were thankfully short illnesses. So here’s the best advice I’ve got.

  • Wash your hands and clean your fomites. Especially at work. For me, this is more for my patients’ protection than mine, but there is some gross stuff at work, for sure. I wipe down my cell phone and stethoscope with alcohol swabs frequently too.
  • Don’t be a germophobe. You gotta be exposed to bugs (or to dead versions in vaccines) to build up immunity against them, you know. Don’t use antibacterial soaps and cleaners at home. They’re pretty useless anyway.
  • Expose yourself to some germs. Don’t wipe your grocery buggy down with clorox wipes. Eat fair food and the nasty gas station hot dogs that @aspiringdoctors so loves. Bite your pens and fingernails. Swim in lakes and dig in the garden bare-handed.  Push the limits of the 5-second rule. Don’t be afraid to touch a patient’s feet without gloves.
  • Don’t be stupid with germs. Cook your food properly, drink clean water, and don’t let people sneeze or cough in your face. Wear gloves when things are visibly gross.
  • Don’t take antibiotics for things that clearly don’t need antibiotics. 
  • Avoid sick people. Kinda hard when you work in medicine, I know. 
  • Get all the shots. All of them. Vaccinate against everything. 

Honestly, I don’t think there’s a secret to it. I think that eventually you reach a point where you’ve been exposed to or have caught all the common strains of viruses in your area, and you quit getting sick so much. This is my theory for why I don’t get sick, at least. 

After You're Married Part 13

Part 12

  You sighed as you leaned over the counter and looked at your textbook. You had been sick the rest of the trip, but you insisted on staying. Since you stayed you noticed that you were only getting sick in the morning and then you’d be a little nauseated throughout the day. Luke promised to do everything that Rio had to offer and he wasn’t lying. 

   You saw everything that Rio had to offer. The sights, animals, people, food, just about anything that you could see. When you came home you made plans to come back as you walked toward the front door. Then when you walked in you were bombarded by the boys and Hey Violet came to visit. 

   You heard the bell on the door ring and looked up, grabbing the counter so you didn’t fall over. “Hi,” You said smiling. 

   "Hi,“ Luke said walking down and the counter and toward you. 

   "What are you doing here?” You asked smiling as Luke reached you. He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, making you smile. 

   "I wanted to make sure you were alright,“ Luke said smiling. “And to make sure you weren’t dead from this sickness you have.” You smiled and pressed your lips to his again before standing up straight. 

   "I’m doing fine. Just bored out of my mind,” You said looking at the valuables in the protective case. 

   "Why don’t you just quit? You’d be much happier just doing your work at home,“ Luke asked watching you organize things. 

   "Because Luke. I like having a job. Ever since I could have a job I’ve had a job,” You said looking at him as you walked over to Luke. 

   "I love that you’re so independent,“ Luke said smiling. You laughed and sat down, grabbing Luke’s hands. 

   "Is your boss here?” Luke asked looking around. You smiled, biting your lip, and shook your head. 

  “Do you wanna go to the back?” Luke asked smiling. 

   "Only if we’re quick. Rena is coming by to go out with me for an errand,“ You said smiling. Luke raised an eyebrow and stood up, pressing his lips to yours. He cupped your face, letting the hairs of his beard run across your face. You stood up, grabbing Luke’s shoulders, pressing your body to his. Luke laughed and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you toward the back. He fumbled, tripping over things as he walked backwards toward the back door. You pulled away and laughed, grabbing the button to Luke’s trousers. 

  "Getting right to if,” Luke said smiling. As you undid his trousers Luke brought his lips back to yours, wrapping his arms around you and unbuttoning the buttons on the back of your shirt. Luke’s back hit the door as he led you into the back, pushing you against the wall as soon as you walked in. 

  Luke picked you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist as you tangled your fingers into his hair. He walked to the counter where things were sorted and sat you down, leaning against the counter. Luke moaned in the back of his throat as you slipped your tongue into his mouth. 

  Luke grabbed the top of your shirt, pulling the fabric forward and tossing it to the side. You stated to lean back, pulling Luke with you. He ran his hands down your back and under your skinny jeans. “I love you so fucking much,” Luke said smiling against your lips. 

   "I love you too. Just let me show you,“ You said smiling against him. Luke smiled and slipped his tongue into your mouth, taking a long moment to kiss you. The door in the front door opened, the bell signaling that someone walked in. Luke grunted and kissed you again, and again, before pulling away. 

  You smiled when you saw Luke’s bulge and how he tried to hide it as he grabbed your shirt, hanging it over to you. You smiled and bit your bottom lip, watching Luke as his fixed himself. He turned and saw you smirking at him, causing him to freeze in his steps. You smiled and motioned for Luke to walk over to you, making him smile. He walked over to you and grabbed the back of your neck, pulling your lips to his. "You have no idea what you do to me,” Luke said against your lips. 

   "After two years of being married and ten years of being friends I think I do,“ You said smiling as you ran your hands over his beard and to the back of his neck. 

   ”(Y/N)!“ Rena yelled from the front. 

   "I’m coming!” You yelled. You kissed Luke once more before turning around and having him button up the back of your shirt. Luke wrapped his arms around your waist and you both walked up to the front with you. 

   "I now know why it took so long,“ Rena said nodding when she saw Luke. 

  "Sorry about that,” You said smiling. 

   "I just can’t keep my hands off of her,“ Luke said into your neck. 

   "I know. I’ve been friends with you two for about a year,” Rena said smiling. “(Y/N), would it be alright if we meet Mia, Miranda, and Casey for a lunch?" 

  "Yeah of course we can,” You said smiling. 

   "Oh that’s good. The boys and I can meet up with you,“ Luke said looking at you and then Rena. 

   "Alright. So in about two hours,” Rena said smiling. You gently hit Luke’s hands, making him let go of you before you walked behind the counter and grabbed your things. The three of you walked out and said goodbye to each other. Luke gave you a small peck on the cheek before he got into the car that brought him and left. 

   "Now what are we doing that we couldn’t tell Luke about?“ Rena asked as you started walking down. 

   "I’m going to take some tests and I needed you to be with me,” You said grabbing your stomach. “Wait, what kind of tests?” Rena asked looking at you. 

  “…pregnancy tests,” You slowly said. 

   "What!“ Rena yelled. "I thought you couldn’t get pregnant,” She whispered. 

   "I know. I know, but I just want to double check,“ You said nodding your head. 

   "So what, we’re going to go to a nasty old gas station and you’re going to pee on a stick?” Rena asked grabbing your arm.

   "No, I was thinking that we could go to the doctor,“ You said looking at her. "After we do that nasty gas station part, but instead of a nasty gas station. My place." 

  "Fine. You better me glad that you’re one of my best friends,” Rena said making you smile. “And I better be the god parent to your unborn child, just incase." 

  "Deal,” You said laughed. The two of you went to the nearest drug store, grabbed a couple pregnancy tests, and then went home. When you took all of them you went straight to the doctor’s.

sorry i haven’t updated in a while. hope you liked it.