Is your (hockey) tumblr also being flooded by more bad news about the orange cheeto in the Oval Office? Are you also a disappointed hockey fan, pissed off with the NHL? Or worse - are you a Pens fan and cried yourself to sleep last night, because you hate that your own team did wrong?

Well, don’t despair, for I have a remedy post of fluff for you! Filled with soft boys, epic hockey bromances, Instagram chirping, puppies and the smile of Gabriel Landeskog. (Not that it solves anything to close your eyes to stuff that is wrong in the world, but a bitch can only take so much!)


The nhl teams as I understand them

I was introduced to the nhl 1 month ago and this is what I get so far (greatly influenced by tumblr)

Colorado avalanche: a group of male models? Don’t know if they play hockey or are there just to draw in more people to the sport ( totally working btw, good job)

Dallas stars: promiscuity cured by cow eyes? They wear green which is nice. That’s all I got

Carolina hurricanes : they do figure skating? Possibly while playing hockey

San Jose sharks: no teeth. But lots of facial hair. I have zero problems with that for some reason

Washington capitals: a Swedish father and his Russian wife bring up their special, precious children

Pittsburg penguins: Canadian hockey Harry Potter and Russian hockey Harry Potter?

Vegas golden knights: came like new kids on the block and stole some players from other teams ? Kidnapped them? everyone was sad and upset?

Nashville predators: I like them. They look like nice boys you’d be happy to introduce to your parents.

Toronto Maple Leafs: 50% of the team looks high on uppers and the other 50% on the verge of a major depression episode. People appear passionate about them.

Philadelphia Flyers: what is Claude Giroux? Why am I attracted to him? I’m having a personality crisis

Tampa bay lightning: they are good.

Winnipeg jets: goat children? Probably all in a cult. I had a dream that they won the Stanley cup.

Chicago Blackhawks : sensed fandom wank so I’m keeping my distance

Edmonton Oilers: something about Jesus? The second coming? I get confused by everyone in this team because I can’t tell if they are 15 or 45

Montreal Canadiens : …their YouTube game is strong. I want to take them all and keep them in my pocket.

New York Rangers: they feel like the Swedish kids in university that won’t talk to the rest of us internationals

I know there are more teams but more data is needed.

The benches in hockey dressing rooms are built so that your feet rest on the floor with your skates on which means that there are pictures of Large Professional Athletes with sock feet dangling off of the bench and I think that is a beautiful thing.

YOU GUYS, TSN DID A THING! Well they posted a thing another person did. Hockey players with old time haircuts in old timey cards.

EXCLUSIVE Behind the scenes look at what goes into deciding goalie interference calls!!!!!

71st Tony Awards Recap

-Miss Saigon was robbed
-Great Comet was Robbed
-Anastasia was robbed
-You can win a Tony for being/having a production with Bette Middler
-I’m very angry
-Good luck buying tickets to Dear Evan Hansen
-Penguins won the Stanley Cup

The best parts of Ovi being mic’d for the All Star Skills:

  • Brian Boyle clearly trying to diplomatically figure out if Ovi’s had a kid when Ovi brought out Jonas.
  • Ovi telling Jonas to “pass it to Sid!” and Crosby bemusedly passing it back.
  • Ovi giggling and telling Hank and Greenie that he’s nervous, and comparing it to a playoffs game.
  • PK telling Ovi everyone broke 100mph at the Nashville competition because they let them skate in on the red line, then asking if Trotz was a good coach, Ovi saying yes, then general mutual encouragement of each other.
  • Ovi reacting to his first shot, saying “Holts, I’m shaking!” and Holtby being utterly unimpressed.
  • PK giving Ovi the mock “what for?” gesture after he won.
  • Ovi responding to Tarik El-Bashir asking if he took his second shot to see if he could break 100: “Yeah, why not? And I did.”