nas let me down

Eu queria ter coragem pra dizer que não te amo mais, só pra te machucar, pra te ver sofrer um pouco. Mas me deixo quieta, não posso correr o risco dessa frase ser tudo o que te faltava. Chama um táxi, enquanto me faço de ofendida e checo no espelhinho de bolsa a tristeza leve das minhas pálpebras roxas. Outra vez é quinta-feira e a expressão “programa com você” tem um gosto amargo de duplo sentido. Do amanhã já sei de cor. Vou embora em salteado. Só queria dar o fora. Em ti, daqui, de qualquer lugar. Aonde eu não tenha estômago pra ser uma dessas mulheres que gostam de arrastar um bonde e a cara no chão. Tudo em nome de uma coisa que faz todos gargalharem ou fazer uma cara de dó se arrisco chamar de amor. Isso não é amor, menina de deus. Quem sabe de mim sou eu, repito pra mim. Eles não sabem, mas eu sonho um dia gostar menos de ti e ninguém nesse mundo me ajuda tanto pra que isso aconteça, senão você. Cada passo em falso seu pra me perder, insisto cada vez mais te querer. Sai de mim, eu penso olhando o povo, as vitrinas e uns cartazes com aquele seu meio riso da janela do meu ônibus. Mas se eu não quero um filho com buraco no queixo, barba encravada, camisa furada nas costas, cantando “Don’t Let Me Down”? Se eu não quero mais passear de mão e passar vergonha na frente dos outros? Se eu te odeio tanto, porque eu gosto mais de mim contigo por perto? Então? Quero o quê? Pronto, não dá mais. Eu me decido. Aí, basta um pio e eu largo tudo apitando, pondo a razão a perder. O valor do meu silêncio é inversamente proporcional pra nós dois. O centavo que te faz voltar é o ouro que me compra. Os hematomas nas minhas coxas, ombros e calcanhares são todos culpa minha, apesar das suas impressões digitais. Não se engane, fosse uma surra física seria tão mais fácil, mas não, são apenas brincadeiras de mau gosto. Tapas, mordidas e vergões são suas marcas registradas mostrando que meu coração vazio é meramente ilustrativo. Entre nós, o sexo e a dor não podem ser vividos separadamente. Fora a falta que sinto das suas roupas penduradas e do queixo torto de reprovação toda vez que ponho a Maria Rita pra tocar, eu tenho um oceano de inveja sua. Da sua força em arriscar o baita azar de me perder quando eu não ouso nem procurar outra boca pra ver se minha sorte muda pro lado mais distante dos seus bocejos se falo de algum medo meu. Eu preciso te extraditar do meu horizonte, do meu pensamento ilimitado, da minha cabeça sempre a prêmio. Quem te viu ontem, rindo desgraçadamente da penca de peripécias amorosas na mesa de um bar qualquer, não te vê hoje, em sonhos saciados à luz do corujão e meu zelar incrédulo perguntando pras paredes creme o que eu faço contigo, com isso, comigo, daqui a pouco, quando o sol sair a pino. Jeito de menino, bom filho, pseudo e péssimo namorado, amante profissional. Difícil é separar seus predicados do sujeito simples, dono da minha oração de cada domingo empapando o travesseiro. Então eu rezo. Sai de mim. Sai de mim. Sai de mim. Quero uma coisa nova, mas pra me suar as mãos e enfraquecer as canelas, você ainda é o que há de mais inovador. E é isso que me mata aos poucos: juntos, a gente dança disforme à música. Um pra lá, um pra cá, e seu corpo me chama pra dançar. Vou, não nego. Mas na manhã seguinte, quando segue o baile, estou sem par outra vez.
—  Gabito Nunes.
Friendzoned M.C - chapter 2

Originally posted by 5secondsofsummeraf

A/N: okay I said something in the first chapter about how Crystal was portrayed in this story and now I’m going to talk about Arzaylea. You will see her character further on but I don’t think of her/her and Luke’s relationship like that in real life. Just letting you know now before people eat me about how I’ve written it :)

- Find my Masterlist here -

- chapter 1 - chapter 3 - chapter 4

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Michael’s pov:

I don’t like it, I didn’t like it the first time I saw him, his hands intertwined with hers. I never knew that she was interested in someone else, I only ever thought that she was interested in me but I guess I was wrong. It’s lame that I’m still holding onto the kiss but it was something special, I hope it meant as much to her as it did to me.

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3

Book: A Court of Mist and Fury
Author: Sarah J. Maas
Pages: 640
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Series: Book 2
Rating: ★★★★★

Synopsis:

Feyre survived Amarantha’s clutches to return to the Spring Court—but at a steep cost. Though she now has the powers of the High Fae, her heart remains human, and it can’t forget the terrible deeds she performed to save Tamlin’s people.
Nor has Feyre forgotten her bargain with Rhysand, High Lord of the feared Night Court. As Feyre navigates its dark web of politics, passion, and dazzling power, a greater evil looms—and she might be key to stopping it. But only if she can harness her harrowing gifts, heal her fractured soul, and decide how she wishes to shape her future—and the future of a world cleaved in two.
With more than a million copies sold of her beloved Throne of Glass series, Sarah J. Maas’s masterful storytelling brings this second book in her seductive and action-packed series to new heights.

Thoughts:

“When you spend so long trapped in darkness, Lucien, you find that the darkness begins to stare back.”

So, I’ve given myself a few days to stop and process my feelings and thoughts about A Court of Mist and Fury, but I still don’t think I’ll be able to form a logical review. Why? Because whenever I think about this book and its predecessor my brain shuts down and all that is left is fangirl screams. Just wow.  WOW. This book was excellent. ACOMAF picks up exactly where ACOTAR left off. Feyre and Tamlin are back at Spring Court and adjusting to their lives… or at least trying to. Feyre is still bound to Rhys but hopes that he has some how forgotten about her. Of course that doesn’t happen and can I say thank the Lord for that!

This book was heavy guys, not just physically, I mean the book is huge, but emotionally. It was like an earthquake; all that I believed was solid and sturdy was shifted and uprooted. I’m not kidding when I say that at one point I could feel my heart drop and break, only to be picked up and dusted off again. This book was intense.

Possible spoilers from here on out. 

When I first read A Court of Mist and Fury, I was obsessed with Tamlin and Feyre’s relationship. I thought they were a perfect match. I loved that she would do anything for him and he would do anything for her. A few months after I had finished reading ACOTAR I came across an article saying that Tamlin was weak and didn’t really love Feyre. Part of my could see their points but another larger part of me screamed how dare you. In ACOMAF all those details in the article were brought to reality. I finally saw what the author of the article was talking about, but it was magnified by 100. In A Court of Mist and Fury we get to see the real Tamlin and I am so incredibly disappointed in him. I went from loving him, to hating him. Tamlin and Lucien’s character do a complete 180. Where I believed their was love, loyalty, and friendship there was nothing but control, manipulation and betrayal. Feyre, a character who had been so incredibly strong was broken by the end of ACOTAR only to be broken further in the beginning of ACOMAF. Tamlin and Lucien neglected her and controlled her in the most brutal way and my heart broke for Feyre. 

“Yes, he’d fought for me -  but I’d fought harder for him…. He’d given me everything I need to become myself, to feel safe, and when he got what he wanted - got his power back, his land back… he stopped.”

In steps Rhysand. Now let me just preface this by saying that in ACOTAR I was meh about Rhys. I loved his character and his whitty banter with Feyre but I had shipped Tamlin and Feyre so hard I didn’t dare get attached to another character. I didn’t love him but I didn’t hate him. I see Rhysand in a COMPLETELY new light now and be still my-freaking-heart, I love him. He is hilarious and strong and sensitive, but mostly I love him because he is selfless. He puts his friends, family, and peoples needs before his own. What he does for Feyre in this book was so much more than what Tamlin ever did for Feyre; he let her be herself. He didn’t try to rule her, or manipulation her, or stop her from living or starve her emotionally. He supported her and that is what makes him a better person and mate than Tamlin. That first half of the book where Rhysand sees Feyre again for the first time and sees the state she’s in, I just can’t. Watching him guide her to recovery was the most beautiful thing to read. And don’t even get me started on what happens in the second half/end of the book. I didn’t survive ya’ll. I didn’t. Like I’m not ready to talk about. That whole scene in the cabin where Rhys explains everything and the scene with the Hybern king. I’m just a mess, don’t look at me. 

This book has some serious character development.  Sarah J. Maas is queen of character development after this book - she has to be. Feyre was thee most well written, well developed character I have read in a very long time. She was broken. Her foundation was in pieces and Sarah rebuilt her to be even better. Don’t get me wrong, she is still Feyre, but she’s better and stronger than she has ever been. What I absolutely LOVED, LOVED, LOVED is that she saw she was being mistreated and she saved herself. Then with the help of her new friends she put herself back together again. As for Tamlin, Lucien, and Rhysand they were all beautifully crafted as well. Sarah had me loving Lucien and Tamlin, believing they could do no wrong. Then she had me despising them and vice versa for Rhysand. (Though I still really hope that I’m wrong about Lucien because he was so precious.) The character development was extraordinary in this book. Another thing that was extraordinary was the world building. The imagery and the setting was just so incredibly vivid. Living inside Sarah’s brain/dreams must be magical.

Some other quick notes about this book:

  • There were tons of new characters in this story and I’m already in love with them all. Feyre’s new crew is too freaking adorable for this world and I will protect them at all costs. 
  • The sex scenes. alksdfjlasjdf;lkasjdflksdfa TOO HOT TO HANDLE. Seriously though, this book can’t be considered YA in my opinion. There was some NA graphic sex scenes going down in this book and let me just tell you I bookmarked them all. Haha. Rhys, wings, hands, as;kldfj;asjdf. ::dead::
  • Speaking of bookmarking, I highlighted about half of this book. I’m not joking. There were so many good quotes and sections! 
  • I loved the writing, obviously, and I thought it was pretty well paced. There were a few dry patches that dragged on but overall the pacing was so good. I really took my time reading this one because I didn’t want it to end. 
  • I NEED BOOK THREE LIKE YESTERDAY! HOW WILL I SURVIVE A YEAR?!? 
The Goblin's Bride

I’ve been reading contrasting opinions about our main OTP, but from my point of view, as for now, I like them quite a lot.

The Goblin’s bride is an high schooler and “immature” and some people feel uncomfortable about their romantic bond, but I have been watching this show as a fairytale, I can’t really judge their relationship as an high schooler and a 30-something years old man, the actress is not a minor and the “man” is a goblin, a centuries old soul reincarnated, I mean, I just can’t evaluate them as I normally would, it’s like the princess and the frog, the beauty and the beast, the mermaid and the prince, just two souls destined to be together that finally met at some moment in time.

Also, about the bride being “immature”, I actually like it, after all she’s bound to meet her husband just to kill him, there’s going to be a lot to be serious and angsty about, later.
Finally, the fact that she still summoned him after he left her in that luxurious suite, it was actually one of my favorite moments? Some called her “spoiled” because of this, but I actually saw that as a demonstration that she needs love instead of a comfortable house, the Goblin is smitten already, but if his bride would have been just a timid girl that asked for some money and a place to stay, if she was mature and respectful enough to leave him be, they would have never crossed ways twice. For me is her hunger for love in spite of everything that made him waver and fall.

That said, this is perfect for me right at this moment in time, and I’m also expecting for the young bride to grow up in some ways, after getting to know her real role in this story. After all, it’s only our second week and we have plenty of time, so why can’t we try and be a little more positive?

christmas fluff || a bonkai oneshot

A/N: Christmas on the Other Side with magicless Bonnie & Kai.

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The spirit of the holidays was something Kai could really get into, apparently. She’d never seen anyone that excited about Christmas before. Hell, he made Disney look tame by comparison.

But deranged psychopaths sometimes derive joy from the most innocuous things.

It was all her fault, though.

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