• Person B: I don't take shit from any bitch. I'm not afraid of anything and won't stutter at anything or anyone. Hell, they'll studder at me and my presence. I'm a bomb not to be messed with.
  • Person A: *passes by* hey B :)
  • Person B: [speaks unclearly in gibberish]
  • Sarada: Mummy, when did you fall in love with Dad?
  • Sakura: mummy fell in love with daddy at a young age.
  • Sarada: was he your first kiss?
  • Sakura: no, Naruto was.
  • Sarada:
  • Sarada: wHAT
  • Sarada: DAD WHO WAS YOUR FIRST KISS
  • Sasuke: also Naruto
Team 7 as one-liners

Kakashi: I sometimes watch birds and wonder “If I could fly who would I shit on?”

Sasuke: I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone. 

Naruto: Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Sakura: Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage. 

  • Person A: can I have some of your fries? (Proceeds to grab some of B's fries)
  • Person B: (slaps persons A's hand) no, I asked you back at McDonald's whether you wanted something, and you said no.
  • Person A: yeah, but you always make it look good when you eat it...
  • Person B: I'm sorry A, you should have thought of that when we were at the drive thru
  • Person A: (moves closer to B and looks at them seductively)
  • Person B: what are you-
  • Person A: (whispers NSFW in person B's ear)
  • Person B:
  • Person A:
  • Person B: (gives them 1/2 of their fries)
  • Person A: (kisses B on the cheek) thanks babe 💕

Imagine your OTP

Person C: “Sex or Food? Pick only one.”

Person A: *unhesitant* “Sex.*

Person B: *is a food fanatic* *loves food on every aspect* *can’t live without food* *food is lifeu* "Uhhhh-” *sWEATS*

Person A: *glares* “Don’t you da-”

Person B: “sEX!”

Everyone: *gASPS*

Person B: “bECAUSE YOU CAN ALSO EAT DURING SEX”

EVERYONE: *DOUBLE GASPS*

Person A: *facepalms*

Person C: *dying of laughter*