Indra: Lexa’s a great commander because she’s ruthless. // Clarke: Lexa was special. She was working toward peace. Blood must not have blood.
It really fucks me up to think about this sometimes. Out of everything that Lexa has done, I wonder how much of it was because she felt that she needed to prove to her people that she was worthy of being their commander? Or how many times that she thought about Luna and resented her, or even maybe herself, because she was never given the chance to truly earn that position, that maybe she doesn’t really deserve it. Instead, she won by default after Luna fled and she defeated the other nightbloods. Were her decisions based solely on what she believed was right for her people, or was it influenced by what she thought her people wanted from her? She was willing to bend over backwards for them, to kill and die for them. Losing Costia after being conditioned that love is weakness I imagine only made it harder for her to hold on to the part of herself that empathized with others. How much of herself has she sacrificed to ensure that her people believed that she was the one worthy of the flame? Then she meets Clarke, an enemy turned ally, who breaks down her walls and shows her that love and trust isn’t a bad thing. And Lexa finds the courage to not only question the methods of her people, but to try to change them. She stops doing what is expected of her, at the risk of her own people turning on her, to build a legacy that she can be proud of.