narcissisted

NARCISSIST

do any other narcissists have suggestions for my cluster b playlist????

the purpose of this playlist is to capture inner experiences through lyrics - i don’t want to put all the emphasis on the most obvious symptoms. i want it to be more balanced than that…songs that people with npd feel compelled to listen to but also get slightly thrown off by the relatability of the lyrics

if you have npd and you’re reading this then please offer any suggestions you can, but do take note that this is my playlist and i will be rejecting stuff i don’t like. it’s nothing personal and i don’t want you to feel offended if i don’t add your suggestion to the playlist. just a heads-up.

If parents teach a child with any method available that the child must be

  • submissive
  • extremely obedient
  • silent about their needs
  • always content with what they get, even if it’s much less than they need
  • pleasing to everyone around them
  • giving others what they want even when it’s harmful and painful to do so
  • expecting punishment at merely displeasuring someone
  • expecting pain as soon as they don’t meet someone’s expectations
  • not good enough unless they make everyone else happy
  • putting their needs last, or not having needs at all
  • extremely grateful for every little bit of human decency they get
  • best in the world in everything, or else they’re worthless
  • recognizing that people who hurt them most likely do it unintentionally or even worse, out of love
  • accepting hurtful behaviour without calling it out, complaining about it, or even letting the perpetrator know how much they got hurt
  • extremely forgiving, to the point where they forgive without even getting an apology, or with the hurtful offense still going on
  • tolerating insults, humiliation, slurs, and hatred being directed at them
  • never showing outright anger, rage, resentment, or hold a grudge
  • never fighting for their rights
  • never refusing to do what’s asked of them
  • accepting that they might be unlovable and that nobody will ever want them

then the child is being abused. It doesn’t matter if they use violence, guilt, terror, emotional abuse, brainwashing, threats, psychological abuse, punishment, discipline, harsh language, or if they teach it all to the child politely and with explanations to why they have to be like this if they don’t wish to be a burden on society. To shape a person this way out of convenience and send them off into a world that will abuse, exploit, take advantage and destroy a person like this, is abuse. Nobody needs to be any of these things. And people who aren’t any of these things still aren’t a burden on society. Abusive parents are a burden on society, and on their own children. Children aren’t there to be controlled or used by adults. Children are humans in development. Their boundaries should not be crushed before they even have a chance to develop any.

There’s a difference between parents who want you to be happy, and parents who want you to look happy.

 If your parents want you to be happy, they will be there for you when you need them, and help you with your struggles. They’ll take your pain seriously. They wont make fun of your problems when that hurts you. They’ll point out your good sides. They’ll let you know they hold you valuable and important no matter what the rest of the world says about you. They’ll make sure you know they’re on your side, here to protect and get you out of trouble, that if something happens you have backup, you have a safety to fall back on. They’ll make sure you have a place you belong to, place where you’re welcome and wanted. They’ll be a source of comfort, warmth and support.

If your parents want you to look happy, they’ll demand that you stuff down your emotions and play an act of a child who doesn’t need anything or anyone, who is just fine the way things are, no matter how bad things are for you. They’ll dictate what you’re allowed to think of them and how you’re supposed to react on anything and everything they do. They’ll demand you hide your pain, your symptoms, your anger, your fear, anything that makes them look like less than perfect parents has to go. They’ll let you know that they are important, you aren’t. Their emotions and needs and desires are important, yours aren’t. Their pain has to be paid back, yours has to be ignored and forgotten. Your life falls back on what is and isn’t convenient to them, every part of you is judged only by how much use they can have of it. And of course, they’ll tell you they did it all for your sake, because if they didn’t, who knows how awful you would turn out. 

If they say they want you to be happy, but their actions tell you that you need to look happy “or else”, they’re abusive parents, and they do not care about your happiness.

keeping a child in condition where they don’t know if they’ll be safe today is torture.

keeping a child not knowing if they’re going to face a normal day or a day of screaming, tantrums and abuse you throw at them is torture.

keeping a child aware you can and intend to humiliate, hit, insult and scream at the moment they don’t do as they’re told to is torture.

keeping a child aware you’re building up their hatred towards them and waiting for a perfect moment to take it all out on them is torture.

threatening your child and keeping them terrified of how badly you could hurt them is torture, the longer it goes on, the bigger the psychological toll on the child.

letting your child know that their shelter, food, and permission to live is hanging by a thin thread and it can break any time, with any mistake they make, is torture.

keeping a child in condition where their every action, word, face expression or emotion could cause an avalanche of hatred and pain, accusations and blame on them, where their anxiety rises with every time they express, is torture.

having your child feel like they don’t deserve to be loved or comforted or paid attention to is torture.

having your child feel like they have to exhaust every last bit of their energy just to deserve to be alive is torture.

having your child feel like wanting for anything but the mere minimum they need for survival is selfish and makes them a burden is torture

having your child feel like their every need and want is a burden is torture.

having your child feel like they’ll never be good enough is torture.

stop torturing your children for convenience. your children are human beings. they do not exist for you, and they’re not your property. they’re not to be controlled by fear and guilt. no child has deserved this. damage you’re causing can never be paid back. you will always be guilty of torturing a child. you will always be a monster.

abusers are afraid of the world where they’re not able to abuse to freely, they’re afraid of the world where their abuse will be called out and condemned, where there will be consequences for their actions, where others will see what they’re doing and stand on the victim’s side, where they’re considered weak, disgusting, hateful and a burden on society they know they are. 

that’s why they’re trying to normalize abuse, trying to convince everyone victims deserved it for being “weak” or a list of other bullshit reasons. they’re scared of being recognized for who they are. they’re scared of being discovered. they’re scared of having to look themselves in the mirror and admit to what they’ve done. they’re scared of what they have to pay.

call their shit out. every single time. 

*makes direct eye contact through my Gucci shades while slurping noisily on a slushie* people with personality disorders aren’t inherently abusive, Sharon