narcissa malfoy *

Roommates With Draco Part Twelve
  • Part Twelve: When Narcissa wants to see Draco's apartment
  • Narcissa: Draco, what is Harry doing here?
  • Draco: He lives here
  • Narcissa: You live with a guy you hate?
  • Draco: Um, well, I was going to talk to you-
  • Narcissa: You're gay?
  • Draco: Wh- I'm not gay!
  • Narcissa: Does your girlfriend at least know?
  • Draco: I don't have a girlfriend...
  • Narcissa: Well I guess we know why
  • Teddy: *cries*
  • Narcissa: And you have a baby together
  • Draco: He's not my baby!
  • Harry: Actually, he's mine
  • Narcissa: Draco, the least you could do is adopt your gay lover's baby
  • Narcissa: I thought I raised you right
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Ron:</b> Why are you naked?<p/><b>Harry:</b> I don't have clothes.<p/><b>Ron:</b> *opens closet* You have shirts, pants, jackets, hi Draco, socks...<p/></p><p/></p>
Slytherin Headcanons

• saying ‘shut up’ while laughing
• being extremely nice and understanding towards their friends but unapologetically sarcastic towards others
• speaking of sarcasm: they speak it fluently
• ‘I love you but I love myself more’
• going on long hikes by themselves
• they either go to bed early or don’t sleep at all
• they sleep with stuffed animals but deny it
• they never give up
• challenges are a great pastime
• saying ‘Tragic.’ way too often
• not everyone of them likes Snape
• 'No I am NOT good at potions and you can NOT copy my homework’
• falling asleep to rain
• nearly everyone of them has referred to Draco as a 'wimp’ or 'sissy’
• they will kill you if you insult their pet
• being proud of their background no matter who they are
• yes, there are muggleborn Slytherin’s
• they inniciate snowball fights
• complaining about small things
• 'I AM NOT YELL…I am not yelling.’


Gryffindor Headcanons

Hufflepuff Headcanons

Ravenclaw Headcanons

Kissing Styles...

James Potter: Very… very eager, but trying really… really hard to restrain himself. Knows how to do fun things with his tongue… has had a lot of practice. All in all… he’s what people like to describe as “fun”… 8/10 

Sirius Black: Knows how to adapt. Can pretty much match anyone’s kissing style, but likes deep, intense kissing the most… Also likes biting and hickeys. As talented as he is pretty. Down for basically anything… An enjoyable experience all the way around. 11/10

Remus Lupin: Nervous. Starts off slow… then kisses like it’s the last time he’ll ever kiss someone because he always feels like it’s the last time anyone will ever want to kiss him… 6/10 when he’s nervous… 9/10 when he relaxes and let’s go. 

Peter Pettigrew: Sweats a lot… too much tongue… 4/10  

Lily Evans: Expert kisser, knows her shit… at least as far as technicalities go… but lacks spontaneity. Get’s flustered when she doesn’t see something coming like James’ tongue tricks… also gets distracted easily (”SHIT! That’s due tomorrow!”)… Overall, needs some work. 6.5/10

Frank Longbottom: Handles you like you’re made of glass… very gentle… very sweet… enjoys kissing the spot just beneath your ear. Hates biting because he’s worried he’ll hurt you. Often stops to stare or chat. Worships the ground you walk on… 8/10 for kissing… 20/10 for making you feel like a goddess. 

Alice Longbottom: Kinky as fuck. 9/10

Dorcas Meadowes: Kinkier than fuck. Kisses like she owns your ass. Also hella gay. 10/10

Marlene McKinnon: Also also hella gay… less kinky. Uses a lot of tongue… but does it right. 9/10 

Mary Macdonald: Mary sue to the max… every kiss is like a reenactment of “The Notebook”. Disney-esque. 7/10

Regulus Black: Untrusting. Tends to panic if things go too quick… or too slow… or not exactly how he planned it. Perfectionist… and a bit of a control freak… doesn’t really know how to adapt to other kissing styles. 4.5/10

Narcissa Malfoy: Reserved… until between the sheets, then she will eat you alive. Mother fucking queen. Savage. Always tops. 10/10

Lucius Malfoy: Fun to look at… Terrible kisser. -5 stars. Two thumbs way down… would not recommend…. 0/10……………. alright… 2/10 for being pretty… Also… submissive af.  

Bellatrix Lestrange: Will rip your goddam lip off. 0/10…. unless you’re into that.

Fenrir Greyback: Will rip your goddam head off. -54/10

Severus Snape: Ew. 

3

“Keeping up with the Blacks”

with that hair I would give Lucius a straight 10 too // artist: @emilyscartoons

I dont want to study for my exams and I want to draw shitty memes

some notes:

  • Regulus is trying to be cooler than his brother.
  • Petunia would rather die than sit on the wizard’s sofa. 
  • Bellatrix is wearing red so you wont see the blood 
  • and Barty just don’t give a fuck.

Imagine Harry sees Narcissa in Diagon Alley several months after the end of the war. He approaches cautiously, because he wants to thank her for saving his life, but he doesn’t know if her views on blood purity have changed at all. To his great surprise, when he gives his thanks, she tears up. “It’s I who should be thanking you, Mr. Potter. You saved my son’s life as well that day.” They trade nervous smiles and then, awkwardly, she hugs him. After that, they talk whenever they meet on the street, and they often send owls back and forth as well. Then one day Draco comes home from work (he’s waiting tables at a restaurant while he gets his N.E.W.Ts through private study) and finds Harry and Narcissa in the kitchen together, drinking tea and laughing. Narcissa looks up when her son enters. “Did you actually climb a tree to mock him in fourth year?” she asks with a snort. Harry, laughing even harder, giggles, “Is your Patronus really a /ferret/, Malfoy? That’s amazing.” Draco looks back and forth between them in horror.