nancy stalks

Humans Are Weird: Menstruation

I’ve seen this on Pinterest, and considering I’m going through “that time of the month” I figured it’s time I contribute.

The brown eyed human male looked up from his position watering a native fauna from Juiopr to see his captain, Kullehlah of Juiopr. “Yes?”

“Seeing as you have a female mate, I thought I would ask you this question. Why do some females take some time off once a month?”

At this, Human-John fully looked up and placed the watering can down. “Well,” he began, and then paused. “This… actually isn’t the best place for this exclamation.”

Both the crewman and the captain looked around. The botany lab wasn’t the best place for this conversation.

Everyone gathered in the rec room. The ship was on autopilot for the moment, and they were slowly making their way towards a planet which was having problems negotiating with a sister planet. There was all-out war between the two planets (that was also kept isolated) so the crew was in no hurry to get there.

Human-Nancy, the crew’s ambassador, had procured a whiteboard. Before joining the crew she had been a teacher, and she was still adept at teaching.

“Alright, let’s begin,” Human-Nancy began, putting her hands on her waist. “I’m sure you all know that there are two sexes: male and female.”

“Aren’t there more?” Oui, a crewmember from the desert planet of Verandes, asked.

“You’re thinking of genders,” Human-Nancy clarified. “A gender is an expression of someone’s behaviors that may or may not align with their given sex. Sex is the difference between male and female, based on what reproductive parts you have. Does everyone understand?”

There were nods all around. “Okay, good,” Human-Nancy said. “And you all know the difference between sexes, right?”


Human-Nancy sighed, placing her face in her hand. Kullehlah recognized it as an expression of exasperation. “Okay, you don’t remember… I’ll remind you. For this lesson specifically, know that female humans have the organs necessary to carry a child to term and later support them.

"One of those organs is the uterus”-Human-Nancy flipped the board over, displaying a picture of-something. “The uterus is attached to several things: the vagina”-Human-Nancy pointed at a tube that extended from the bottom of the uterus-“two Fallopian tubes”-Human-Nancy pointed to two stalk-like protrusions that extended from the top of the uterus and curved around-“and the ovaries.” Human-Nancy gestured to two oval shaped orbs that rounded off the Fallopian tubes. One was attached to each tube.

“Everyone understand so far?” Human-Nancy asked, to which the crew nodded. She smiled and continued:

“Once they begin going through puberty, a woman will go through something called menstruation. The slang term is known as a period. Once every twenty eight days, one of the ovaries releases an egg. It travels down the Fallopian tube and settles in the uterus. Then, drawing the blood from the rest of the body-”


Human-Nancy stopped talking. “What’s what?”

“The uterus draws blood from the rest of the body?!”

“Yeah…” Human-Nancy intoned. “Anyways,” she continued when it became apparent no one else would be freaking out, “The blood forms a uterus lining. As the egg comes in, it’s all ready and waiting for fertilization.” Before someone could ask a question, Human-Nancy clarified: “Fertilization is when an egg and a sperm meet in the uterus after a male and female have had sex, and the egg begins to develop into a tiny human.”

This drew several gasps from the alien crew.

“If the egg is not fertilized, the egg dissolves and it, and the blood, flow out of the vagina in what is called a period. The symptoms of a period include bleeding from the vagina, cramps (to let the vagina push out the blood), blood clots, throwing up… and that’s about it.”

Kullehlah had to blink due to his expression being locked in one of surprise.


“One,” Kullehlah spoke up, “How do female humans survive this?!”

Human-Nancy shook her head. “We just do.”

And that is why, Kullehlah thought, humans are weird.

Stranger Things high school football AU

I’m doing this in bullet-point format bc I don’t have the energy to write a full fic but I need it to exist in some form

  • Nancy and Jonathan are on the school newspaper
  • Jonathan is a photographer, Nancy writes
  • They’re best buds and work on articles together all the time
  • Somehow they always get stuck doing the football team stories
  • “Jonathan why are we here, this is like the third article we’ve had to do on the football team this week”
  • “Nothing happens in this town Nance. Plus everyone loves some good old red-blooded football”
  • They spend a lot of time hanging around the field, so they start to get to know some of the players pretty well
  • One in particular catches Nancy’s eye
  • Number 26. Wide receiver. A very good one. Sticky hands. Cute butt
  • Not that Nancy’s been looking
  • She’s totally been looking
  • “Why do you think #26 never takes his helmet off?”
  • Jonathan shrugs. “Idk, maybe he gets really bad helmet hair and doesn’t want anyone to see”
  • Nancy shoves him. He laughs
  • She thinks #26 would have cute hair. Not that she’s thought about it much
  • She totally has
  • They also get to know the other kids that hang around under the bleachers. Bad boys and stoners, mostly
  • One in particular takes an interest in Nancy
  • Steve Harrington. One of the coolest guys in school
  • She likes the attention. The thrill of dating a super popular “bad boy”
  • He takes her to parties, gives her her first taste of beer
  • At the same time, Nancy still tries to focus on her studies
  • When she’s not busy at the football field or with Steve, she spends most of her time in the library
  • She always sits at the same table, across from a redhead with short hair and large glasses
  • Eventually, Nancy strikes up a conversation with Barb, as the girl introduces herself
  • After that, they talk all the time, and quickly become friends
  • “You’d like her, Jonathan, she’s so nice and funny and smart. She’s in all advanced classes and she seems to know everything there is to know about history”
  • “She seems great. You should invite her to Homecoming on Friday”
  • “Yeah okay” The thought creates a warm feeling in her chest
  • But when she asks, Barb blushes scarlet and stammers, “Sorry, I have to, uh, do something then”
  • Nancy’s more disappointed than she expected
  • She ends up going with Jonathan, his camera, and her little journalism notebook. Might as well get some material for an article
  • She can’t stop watching #26, which is fine, bc he plays a great game
  • At halftime, Steve finds her and draws her under the bleachers to make out
  • Nancy doesn’t like it. He tastes like smoke and he gets way too handsy, even when she tells him to back off. She breaks it off with him
  • She decides that instead she’s gonna do something about that crush on a certain wide receiver that never really went away
  • #26 gives her the perfect opportunity when he catches a 20-yard pass for the winning touchdown
  • Nancy convinces Jonathan to wait outside and stations herself by the locker rooms after the game, notebook at the ready
  • The entire team streams in, whooping and cheering, and she’s afraid she’s somehow missed him
  • But then she spots him coming down the hall
  • She’s about to call out, but then he pulls off his helmet, and Nancy realizes she’s made a huge misconception about him
  • Or rather - her
  • “BARB?!”
  • Barb stops stock-still in the middle of the hall. Her sweaty ginger hair is tousled from her helmet. It is cute
  • “N- Nancy!”
  • Nancy stalks over, grabs Barb by the hand, drags her around the corner out of sight
  • And lays a kiss right on her
  • Barb’s brain appears to short circuit. “Wh- whuh…?”
  • “I’ve had 2 separate crushes on you, you know” Nancy tells her with a grin
  • Barb’s answering smile could light up the Upside-Down
  • The end

I think I do like Jonathan, I just 1) don’t ship him with Nancy at all, and 2) am frustrated because they never REALLY addressed the fact that he was literally stalking Nancy at one point and took pictures of her in her underwear without her consent or her knowledge. Like the only character that said anything about it was Steve whilst bullying him in a scene that was meant to show us what a Bad Guy Steve is. And it really bothers me because it’s not like he’s irredeemable or any of these characters are perfect but that was super creepy and he’s kind of treated like this sweet, sensitive loner who obviously Understands Nancy in a way that No One Else Can. 

anonymous asked:

Why do you dislike Jonathan?just asking cause I felt like I was the only one who didn't care about him(never actually did but s2 just made him more annoying and unrelatable to me)

i feel like this is going to start a d*sclosure ? but i feel like everyone forgets in season 1 he stalked nancy. i 100% agree with you though !!

Frank had been classified as “missing” for two months, having disappeared during a case with no rhyme or reason. The eco-terrorist group they had gone after denied having any involvement in his disappearance and there was nothing connecting them to it. So missing it was.

And for good reason. Frank walked down the sidewalk, his jacket hood pulled up to hide his face. His gum ached where his newly acquired fangs were pushing against them. He could practically taste the blood of the man stalking Nancy at a distance already but he couldn’t afford to lose control of himself. He had to time this perfectly or everything could go wrong.

On one hand he shouldn’t have come back to River Heights to check on Nancy, but he was worried. He knew that she might be in danger, if what he heard through the grapevine was true. And now some menacing man was following her through the streets, and whether she knew it or not, there might not be a chance for her to defend herself.

Within a few minutes, the man managed to corner Nancy alone in an alley, already pulling out a knife. Through the dim light, Frank could see her eyes widen and her mouth opened to let out a scream she’d never be able to emit in time before the blade could reach her.

In a flash, Frank shot out, seizing the man’s wrist and dislocating his shoulder in one swift move. The man let out a strangled gasp before Frank yanked his head back so he could use his fangs to rip the man’s artery wide open, dropping the large bulky body to the ground as he bled out in seconds.

Nancy looked like a deer caught in headlights and Frank knew that once she got over her shock at seeing him again he was going to get a very long lecture and maybe a slap to the face.

“Hey Nancy,” he said. “It’s good to see you again.”